What A Rogue Wants (33 page)

How would it feel to have Grey inside
of her? New longing sprang within her.

“
Madelaine,” he whispered
into her ear as he gently tilted her head back.

Raw need filled his voice, but when
she looked into his eyes, she gasped. His eyes shimmered with
longing. It was hard to believe she had thought at one time that he
needed nothing and no one. She could not deny what she saw.
Tonight, she’d give him what he desired, and she would try to
forget that soon she would betray his trust.

Cupping his face with her hands, she
kissed his neck, the stubble of his chin, and his lips. A craving
to touch every part of him filled her. She twined her fingers
through his hair as he lifted her off the ground and carried her to
the bed. He settled her and stood over her looking down at
her.

Outside, a storm brewed which matched
the tempest within her. Rain beat against the inn and gusts of wind
smacked against the wooden shutters making them rattle. “A storm’s
coming,” she said.

Grey kneeled before her and took her
hand in his. “In here too.”

She nodded.

“
This will be different
than moments ago.”

Good God. Was he trying to prepare
her? Her heart tugged at his thoughtfulness. “I’m aware.” Though
only slightly, but he didn’t need to know how utterly naïve she
was.

“
Are you sure you know
what you’re doing?”

“
I know exactly what I’m
doing.” For tonight she did anyway.

His gaze burned her. “This makes you
mine. There’s no turning back.”

She wanted to be his forever. Even if
only like this. “I know.”

He slid a gold ring off his finger and
held it toward her. “I don’t have a ring for you yet, but soon
you’ll wear one―mine. For now, I pledge my loyalty to you and swear
it on this ring, which holds great meaning to me.” He kissed the
ring, and she swallowed back thick tears. God, how much would he
hate her tomorrow? Was this wrong? She was too selfish to change
her mind now. He cupped her chin. “Will you pledge your loyalty to
me?”

She could. She would always be loyal
only to him, but he may not see it that way. Still, she had no
choice. Shaking, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to the
cool metal. “You have my undying loyalty.” She took the ring from
him, kissed it and handed it back to him.

He slid the ring on, cupped her neck
and drew her face close to his. A deep ache coiled through her when
his lips brushed her tender mouth.

“
You are so damn
beautiful.” His voice hitched.

That she made him vulnerable made her
tremble anew. She shook her head.

“
Don’t do that.” His tone
was sharp, insistent. “You
are
beautiful. I know your mother made you feel ugly
because you were different, but it’s that difference that makes you
so beautiful, so special to me.”

His words unlocked a part of her she
hadn’t realized had been barred against people. Inside, she felt as
if she shattered. Moaning, she pulled his head closer still,
needing more of him. His mouth crushed down on hers in a plundering
kiss that robbed her of coherent thought. Blood surged through her
veins; the rush of heat through her body was extraordinary. His
hands were underneath her, scooping her up and laying her back
against the soft pillows. As she reached for him, he rolled off the
bed and stood beside her. His eyes held hers while he stripped the
clothing from his body.

She meant to protest the loss of his
heat, but as he revealed himself, she sighed. His skin glowed in
the candlelight. She caught her breath as she drank in his
appearance. He was hard and sculpted, just as she had always
imagined her knight would be. There was nothing soft or relenting
about the rippling muscles of his flat abdomen or the rising curves
of his arms. His broad shoulders appeared strong enough to
withstand many blows from an enemy, and based on the angry red
zigzagging scars on his right shoulder, she realized he’d already
withstood some sort of wounds.

She scrambled off the bed and licked
his shoulder, and then she kissed the scar once, twice, three
times. “How did you get this?”

“
Equerry training.” He
sounded guarded. Maybe training had not gone well.

“
You should choose a less
dangerous profession.”

He laughed. “I wish I could. Too late
for that, my love.”

My
love
. The sound of the endearment
from his lips made her smile. She trailed her fingers down the
smooth skin of his chest, grinning when he shuddered beneath her
fingertips. “Is that because of my touch?”

“
It’s because I want you
too much.” He cupped her breasts, causing her nipples to
harden.

Her newfound power made her dizzy with
excitement. “How much do you want me?”

Laughter rumbled from his chest. “I
ache all over.”

She nodded, understanding his need
because her body burned as well. His mouth slanted then, trailed
kisses down her neck, over her collarbone, and back up to her
lips.

Now she was the one shivering from
desire. Heat singed her skin every place his warm mouth touched
her. Madness and need consumed her, overriding any doubts. She
wanted to rub her lips against every part of his body. She kissed
his shoulder, his neck, his chest.

The length of his body covered her for
a moment, wiry hair to smooth skin. Once again, his mouth found her
breast, sucking greedily until she moaned and writhed beneath him.
Her loins pulsed, and she ground her pelvis against him, gasping at
the sparks of pleasure that shot through her. “What happens
now?”

He smiled slowly. “Now I bring you
pleasure again.” He caressed her belly before moving to the
juncture between her thighs.

“
No!” Laughing, she tried
to scramble out of his reach, but his hands locked down on her legs
like two steel manacles. “Oh yes, my love. The more pleasure now,
the less pain in a moment.”

“
But you already brought
me pleasure,” she protested.

“
And I intend to keep
bringing you pleasure the rest of your life. It’s my most sacred
duty as your husband.”

Her heart slammed against her chest at
his revealing words. “You are not my husband.”

His brow puckered. “Not yet. But I
will be soon.”

There was no point arguing. What could
she say anyway? Tomorrow I’m intending to flee you and betray your
trust? She nodded and forced herself to relax. His fingers massaged
across the sensitive place between her legs, but this time light as
a feather until she was pushing against him in silent demand that
he move faster and harder. He acquiesced without a word.

Need coiled once again within her,
driving her to clench the sheets as her body quivered with wanting.
Her longing slowly grew stronger like the heat of the sun from
morning to afternoon, until she burned within. “Please,” she
moaned. This time she knew exactly what she begged for. That same
release, but not from his hands. She wanted to feel him sheathed
inside her. She pushed his hands away and dug her nails into his
sides. “Take me.”

He hovered above her, sweat covering
his brow. His ragged breathing told her just how difficult
prolonging his own pleasure had become. One strong hand slid below
her pelvis and lifted her toward him before he drove into her. She
tensed with a twinge of pain, but he was hot, hard and pulsing. He
stroked once, twice, three times. The pain disappeared, and she
lost count, desperate to meet him stroke for stroke. She clutched
his back, moaning.

He nipped at the sensitive skin of her
ear. “Let go, my love.”

She pulled him to her, wanting to bury
herself within him, until they were one. Every muscle in her body
clenched as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through her. Her
back arched as her head fell back. He groaned and drove faster,
harder until his muscles shook beneath her fingertips. With a final
stroke, his body shuddered, tightened and trembled with his
release.

He sagged against her, slick with
sweat. They lay for a moment panting with exhaustion, until he
moved off her onto his back then tugged her against his side. She
snuggled up to him and laid her head on his chest to count the
beats of his heart. “I love you.” The thought had been flooding her
mind. She’d not intended to say it, because it would seem a lie
tomorrow, but she couldn’t hold back.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“And I love you.”

Doubts about her decisions crept into
her head. Maybe she could trust him? The errant thought horrified
her. Not only was it breaking her vow, it would be putting Grey in
danger, if things should go badly. No. She had to leave him. To
protect him.

The candle in the room burned itself
out. Madelaine lay very still and pretended to be asleep. Grey’s
chest rose shallowly at first and then deeply and his heartbeat
against her ear slowed as well. She rose until she could see his
face, but could not make out his expression in the dark. Yet his
moans indicated he dreamed.

With care, she rolled slowly away from
him and swung her legs over the bed. Her feet touched the material
of her dress, and she silently bent, retrieved it and quickly put
on her clothes. Her body was sore all over, but she welcomed every
precious ache that had come from giving herself to him. Within a
few minutes, she was at the stables, where the boy who was paid to
keep the horses was only too glad to hand over Grey’s stallion for
a handful of coins. She started to walk away, but then thought
perhaps she better take the other horse as well. She gulped as she
handed the last of her coins over. That was the last of two years’
worth of pin money.

Yet, she had to spend it. She could
not afford Grey reaching her before she met the prince. After
another exchange of coins, she got on Grey’s stallion and led the
other horse deep into the woods where she swatted it in the
opposite direction of the inn. When she was certain the horse ran
away, she turned the stallion and galloped toward home and a future
filled with only one certainty―she would always love Grey and he’d
likely hate her until his dying day.

Madelaine wept for the
first hour of her ride. In all her fantasies of her first time with
Grey, she never imagined fleeing. His undying love. Yes. Marriage.
Absolutely. Betraying him? No. The possibility hadn’t crossed her
mind. It didn’t matter she was doing what she had to. Knowing she
had no choice did nothing to obliterate the queasiness of betraying
Grey nor the certainty that a future with him was lost to her
forever. Moreover, she was terrified about what her future
would
bring. What would
happen once she found the king’s paper and took it to the prince?
What sort of battle lines would be drawn then between the king and
the prince as they fought for control of the throne?

The nagging feeling that she and her
father would be standing on the wrong side of the battle plagued
her. Even if Father was correct and the king was going mad, to go
behind the king’s back and strip away his power without consulting
him or trying to come up with some sort of alternative seemed
morally wrong. She wished there was some other course, but she
couldn’t think of one nor would anyone listen to her, even if she
could.

She struggled to push the thoughts of
the king and Grey out of her head and concentrate on the road. As
she neared her home and made her way down the long drive, she
gripped the reins and her heart pounded in trepidation. She gasped
as the estate came into view. This was not the home she had left
over a year ago.

There was no welcoming light, no smell
of fresh baked bread or apple tarts, no servants bustling about or
even the whinny of the horses from the stables. Hope and life had
deserted this dark, silent place. She had thought she’d been
prepared for what she would find, since Grey had told her his
brother had forced her father to dismiss all the servants with some
cockamamie tale about financial woes, but she shook as she viewed
her home so different than her memories. Though Lord Ashford had
done her father a favor, by removing the very people who would
spread gossip about him being arrested for treason, she couldn’t
squelch the anger running through her veins when she opened the
front door and saw the shambles her childhood home had been left
in.