What Are You Hungry For? (7 page)

If the mind has so much power, why do people feel powerless when they want to change? It’s a question of mixed messages being processed at the mind-body connection. Every overeater knows what it’s like to fight against food cravings and have the cravings win. That’s a perfect example of two messages clashing: one saying, “I mustn’t give in,” the other saying, “I can’t help myself.”

If you could take a freeze-frame picture of your mind as you reach for a tempting snack, the choice between “Eat this” and “Don’t eat this” should be simple to understand. Your story for that moment would read, “She wasn’t really hungry, so she ate a carrot stick instead of a candy bar.” Such simplicity doesn’t always exist in real life, however. In fact, it almost never does. All kinds of mental events are taking place at once. Imagine that six telegrams are arriving at the same time, which might read something like this:

I’m in a rush, no time for a real meal.

I’m feeling restless.

Sugar makes me feel good.

I can’t worry about nutrition at this moment.

The candy machine is right here.

I wish I could stop myself.

All six telegrams arrive at the same place together. What happens next is that you make a choice. What will it be? Most adults know
that the rational choice—in terms of health, weight, nutrition, and overall satisfaction—is to walk past the candy machine. But five of the six telegrams urge you to eat instead; only one is clear and rational. The snack food industry makes a fortune by counting on you to ignore reason and give in to your impulses, forgetting what’s good for you and grabbing a candy bar on the run.

The irony, as millions of people pack empty, sugary food into their bodies, is that you and you alone have control over the mind-body connection. The words
yes
and
no
are not foreign to you, and you know how to weigh the pros and cons of the decisions you make. Your whole life is spent making choices. But the mind-body connection goes wrong for one simple reason. The six telegrams bring messages that fight against each other. This leads to a state, only recently discovered by neuroscience, known as
cross-inhibition.
It’s a bit of jargon that explains the conflicting messages in our heads. Everyone who struggles with their weight knows how the fight generally runs:

“I shouldn’t give in” versus “I’m going to anyway.”

“This isn’t good for me” versus “But it tastes so good.”

“I can’t let myself down this way” versus “So what? You do it all the time.”

The messages in our heads do more than just speak to us. They try to defeat the other messages. This happens quite literally, as advanced brain research has revealed. The group of neurons that sends out one message (“Don’t reach for that ice cream bar”) emits chemical signals to block the opposite message being sent by another group of neurons (“Go ahead. Eat that ice cream bar”). In this regard, your brain is acting like some trees, such as redwoods and black walnuts,
whose roots secrete chemicals that prevent other trees from sprouting nearby. Only in this case, the defeating chemicals come from both sides. A choice must be made, however, and your brain is wired so that one message will win out in the end; otherwise you’d be in a constant state of indecision.

Cross-inhibition is good—if the winning message is the right one. Your brain is incredibly efficient at reducing complex decisions to yes or no. Think of all the elements that go into deciding what college to attend or whom to marry or whether to have a baby. It would be unbearable to live in perpetual indecision. Your brain is set up to lead you to make a choice, but what is even more fascinating, once
yes
defeats
no
, your decision feels final. Usually it also feels good and right.

But sometimes the bad messages are unfairly weighted against the good ones, and then trouble starts. Your choices don’t sit right. You get the eater’s equivalent of buyer’s remorse (“I can’t believe I ate the whole thing”). What makes the impulse to overeat so much stronger than the impulse not to? It’s not hunger per se. The mind-body connection tells a different story. Bad messages have become unfairly weighted through repetition that changes the brain in favor of giving in.

1. Habit.

2. A history of wrong choices.

3. Sense of failure.

4. Lack of impulse control.

5. Family and peer pressure.

You may not remember all the times that these bad messages won out over good messages, but your body does, thanks to well-worn pathways in the brain.

Overeaters Anonymous and other support groups try to push the balance the other way. A personal sponsor or group buddy can be telephoned, and that person reinforces the good messages that need to come through. They are the reverse of the bad ones. What feels like moral reinforcement is actually a tactic to alter the brain’s hardwiring.

1. You find a way to break a bad habit.

2. You lay down a pattern of right choices.

3. You gain a sense of success.

4. You have impulse control.

5. Family and peer pressure don’t influence you to overeat just to go along.

These two lists point to a valuable conclusion. We get fat because the messages that lead to overeating have been defeating the messages that say, “You don’t have to eat this.” (Careful monitoring supports this conclusion. When overweight people are told to write down everything they eat during the day, almost all are consuming more calories than they think they are.) After enough defeats, the “eat” message has worn a groove in the brain, and this bit of hardwiring ensures that future food cravings will be triumphant.

By the same token, if you build up victories over the “eat” messages, a state of balance is restored. New pathways form in the brain. When the hunger impulse arises, the contest will be more equal, and over time food cravings will disappear. At that point, the mind-body connection will be healthy again. Proper weight will be maintained automatically.

What you should take away from our discussion of cross-inhibition is two lessons:

1. Conflicting messages try to defeat each other in the brain.

2. The more you listen to the good messages, the easier it is for them to defeat the bad messages.

When you feel the impulse to eat outside mealtime, that’s a message from your brain. Impulses are quick and powerful messages, which is why it’s almost impossible to control them on the spot. Instead of fighting your hunger impulse, a better way is to let the rest of your brain catch up. The decision-making part is slower to react, but if you retrain your brain, decision making becomes better and better, while impulses are brought back into balance.

The next time you feel a food craving, use the technique of S-T-O-P:

S
= Stop what you’re doing.

T
= Take a 1-minute breathing break. As you inhale and exhale, count to 20, as follows: 1 on the inhale, 2 on the exhale, 3 on the inhale, and so on.

O
= Observe the bodily sensation of hunger. Rate it from 1 to 5, with 5 standing for “famished” and 1 standing for “not really hungry.”

P
= Proceed with awareness.

The whole point of this technique is to get you to “Proceed with awareness,” because that indicates that your higher brain is now part of your inner conversation. Proceeding with awareness means you decide what to do next, which is far better than robotically
obeying the lower brain’s hunger impulse if it has gotten out of balance.

What kind of aware choice can you make now? Here are some suggestions:

In my own life, the trick of eating ten nuts when I feel a craving has been quite effective, by the way. Sometimes the simplest choices work out the best.

If you make a choice that leads you to avoid a craving, be sure to stop and appreciate your small victory. “I did the right thing—good for me” is a powerful message when repeated many times over the course of weeks and months, because it reinforces choice making over giving in to cravings.

This action step makes you conscious of what you’re doing, and losing weight is all about conscious choices. As with smokers who give up their nicotine habit, repetition is the key. The more times you try to quit, the higher your odds for success. That’s why the people who successfully kick cigarettes are the ones who have attempted to repeatedly—as often as they backslide. Eventually the decision to resist their craving wins out. Repetition brings reinforcement, bit by bit. The same holds true for deciding not to overeat.

Making It Personal:
Themes for the Week

This chapter has given you ways to change your story, including the powerful tool of introducing the themes of
light
and
nourish
into your life. There are other themes that work just as well. If this approach excites you, why not focus on a different theme for every day of the week? There are countless ways you can replace an old theme with a new one that is more positive and stimulating to mind and body.

Monday: Turn
passive
into
active.

Tuesday: Turn
dull
into
vibrant.

Wednesday: Turn
routine
into
surprising.

Thursday: Turn
stale
into
fresh.

Friday: Turn
pessimistic
into
optimistic.

Saturday: Turn
work
into
recreation.

Sunday: Turn
ordinary
into
inspiring.

Here are some specific suggestions to get you started; once you do, new possibilities will quickly come to mind.

Monday: Turning
passive
into
active.

Take any passive activity that occurs during the day—watching TV would top most people’s list—and substitute an activity, like a stroll around the block. Instead of riding the elevator, take the stairs. Instead of letting others do all the talking, change the conversation to something you’re interested in. As you do any of these things, reinforce the message in your mind: “Now I’m being active.”

Tuesday: Turning
dull
into
vibrant.

Define
vibrant
any way you choose: a bright color, a spicy taste, a sparkling conversation. Today, inject the vibrancy into your routine. Wear a brighter color, eat spicier or more colorful food. Look at rainbows on YouTube or stand by a fountain in the sunlight. As you do any of these things, reinforce the message in your mind: “Now I’m being vibrant.”

Wednesday: Turning
routine
into
surprising.

Life is made comfortable by following a routine, but existence would be dull without a dash of excitement. Today, change some part of your routine. Go to an exciting new restaurant or find an exciting new shop. Instead of reading
USA Today
as you ride the train to work, why not read something inspirational? Excite someone you love with a note of adoration. In your intimate relationship, dare to suggest something exciting in bed—share a fantasy or explore a new sensation of pleasure. As you do any of these things, reinforce the message in your mind: “Now I’m being exciting.”

Thursday: Turning
stale
into
fresh.

Every theme has a broad meaning, and with
freshness
you can look almost anywhere. Today, throw out all the stale food in your refrigerator and bring in fresh fruits and vegetables. Put fresh flowers on the table. Notice something fresh about an old friend and tell it to her in an appreciative way. As you do any of these things, reinforce the message in your mind: “Now I’m bringing in some freshness.”

Friday: Turning
pessimistic
into
optimistic.

It’s all too easy to get into the rut of bemoaning the state of the world. Today, take any pessimistic attitude and explore how to take an optimistic angle. Think in terms of hope, new possibilities, the goodness in people, the healing brought by time. Find a way to sympathize with those who are suffering rather than blaming them for their situation. Look at your own future the same way, dwelling
on things that are going to get better. As you do any of these things, reinforce the message in your mind: “Now I’m being optimistic.”

Saturday: Turning
work
into
recreation.

The weekend is for play and relaxation, but too often we find ourselves still working, either around the house or with extra work from the job. Today, find a way to enjoy recreation, and make it true “recreation.” Participate in an activity that makes you feel renewed. Plant a tree, spend time with children drawing pictures on a sidewalk, explore a nearby woods, get up early and watch the sunrise. As you do any of these things, reinforce the message in your mind: “Now I’m re-creating myself.”

Sunday: Turning
ordinary
into
inspiring.

One day of the week should be extraordinary, and nothing is more extraordinary than connecting with your highest vision. Today, read inspirational scripture or poetry. Look at great art, listen to masterpieces of music—whatever it is that nourishes your soul. As you do any of these things, reinforce the message in your mind: “Now I’m feeling inspired.”