What Happens at the Beach... (24 page)

‘It was really strange. He was sitting in his car outside my gate. I was a bit late coming home from work so he must have been waiting there for a while. He was terribly polite, and he asked if I minded if he came in. Well, of course, I let him in and made him a cup of tea, and then he just launched into a long, long lament. The main thrust of it is that he misses you and he loves you; he kept repeating that over and over again. He wants you back, Natalie, really bad.'

‘Oh, God.'

‘That's what I thought. It was so unlike him. He was really upset. Put it this way, Natalie, all I can tell you is that I'm absolutely sure he wasn't putting it on. However good an actor he might be, he'd never manage to be that convincing. He almost had
me
in tears at one point.'

‘Oh, God.'

‘I know. It was really pretty grim, and a little touching really. A bit Shakespearian, I thought. Here he was, a big strong man, sobbing his heart out for love. In the twenty-first century I didn't think that sort of thing went on any more.'

‘Oh. God.' Natalie knew she was sounding very repetitive, but she couldn't think of a suitable response.

‘Anyway, I sent him off once he'd stopped crying. I told him he should speak to you, so you'd better prepare yourself. Mind you, if the Cambridge job comes off, that might change things, mightn't it?'

‘I don't know, Amy, I really don't know.'

She still didn't know what to think when she finally put the phone down. Here she was, getting closer and closer to Mark, albeit without any appreciable response on his part, and yet, part of her felt sorry for David and even, deep down, rather touched at the depth of his feeling for her. He wasn't the sort of man to show his feelings very readily so for him to put on a public display of remorse in front of Amy was, without doubt, a sign of his sincerity. Maybe, like her grandmother had said all along, he had realised what he had been missing. However broken the relationship had become towards the end, he had been there for her in the early days, helping and supporting her through the toughest of times. And yet, she thought to herself, when he had looked to her to give him support in his career, she had backed off and let him down. Had she really let him down? Was she at fault? Did she really owe it to him to try again? She sat back and sighed.

A little while later, she glanced at the time again. It was almost ten o'clock. After a few seconds of indecision, she jumped to her feet and changed into her bikini. She wrapped a towel around her and went downstairs to her grandmother, who was sitting in the lounge watching a documentary about birds of paradise.

‘Going for a swim at this hour, Natalie?' She sounded surprised. Seeing Natalie nod, she carried on. ‘Not on your own, I imagine.' Her old eyes twinkled in the light of the TV.

‘Erm, no, Gran. Mark said he was going to be down on the beach at ten.'

‘Well, you enjoy yourself, my dear.' She turned back towards the screen. ‘Ah, to be thirty once more…'

Natalie got down to the beach dead on ten o'clock. She stepped out of her sandals, picked them up in her hand and walked across the cool sand towards the water. By this time her night vision had sharpened and she had no trouble making out the twin shapes of Barney and his master by the water's edge. The dog came charging across to greet her as she approached.

‘Hi, Natalie, I'm really pleased you've come.' Mark sounded as if he meant it. He was already stripped to his swimming shorts, the starlight reflecting in his eyes as he watched her unwrap the towel from around her body and set it down on the beach beside his. ‘Ready for your midnight swim?'

Natalie paddled into the water. ‘I was expecting it to feel cold, but it really doesn't.' She walked in until it was deep enough to start swimming. Mark was at her side and, behind them, she could hear a few plaintive whines from the dog. She turned back and called out to him. ‘It's all right, Barney. We'll be back soon.'

They swam out slowly. Just like Mark had said, the dark water took on a luminescence as they passed through it and Natalie felt no fear. Having Mark alongside her was also very reassuring. When they reached the first of the mooring buoys, she caught hold of it and stopped. He stopped in his turn and held on to the other side of the buoy, keeping it between the two of them.

‘So, what do you think of it so far?'

Natalie let her head slip back until her hair was in the water and she was looking skywards. She felt her legs float up until her feet were at the surface. On either side of her, the rocky walls of the bay stood out pale and clear against the deep blue, almost violet, of the sky. And the sky itself, viewed from down here with no light pollution, was ablaze with stars. Natalie lay back and looked on the spectacle with a sense of awe. She didn't answer immediately, trying to put her feelings into words.

‘It's absolutely amazing, Mark. I feel as if I'm on a satellite, floating out in space. Somehow, there's no earth, no worries, no daily life; just all this immensity.' She rolled her head to one side so that she could see him. ‘Out here, on a night like this, everything else just fades away. All that matters is the moment. Thanks, Mark, for getting me to do this. I'd never have dared come out here on my own.'

‘I'm so pleased you're enjoying it, Natalie. And I'm glad I've got you to share it with.'

Slowly, they swam on out from buoy to buoy until they reached the last one. There were no yachts moored tonight and even the lights of the restaurant had disappeared from sight by now. They were totally alone in the sea and it felt really, really good. And, Natalie realised, being with Mark felt really good as well. She tried to think of a time with David when she had felt such a connection and realised she just couldn't. Like it or lump it, she knew there was something special between Mark and her, even if he didn't. She clung to the buoy and turned back towards him. His face was less than a foot from hers.

‘I think this is as far as I'll go, Mark. I got long-distance swimming out of my system when I swam in from that yacht. If you want to go on and do a long swim, I'll slowly make my way back in to Barney. You take your time.'

‘This is fine for me, too. And a gentle swim back suits me as well.' He released his grip on the buoy and swam back in beside her. They didn't speak, but she liked the sense of companionship she got from his presence. Back on the beach, after the happy dog had been dissuaded from jumping all over her, she picked up her towel and dried herself off, while Mark did the same. Being so close to him, both of them barely clothed, illuminated only by the light of the stars, was so exhilarating it almost took her breath away. She held her breath at one point as she saw his figure draw nearer and bend towards her, but it was just to pick up his shoes. He straightened up and she heard his voice.

‘All done? Shall we head for home?'

‘Yes… of course.' She wrapped the towel around her and they set off back up the path. The lights were still on in the restaurant, but there was very little noise from the terrace so presumably it had been a quieter night for Dominique and Alain.

When they reached the turn-off for her grandmother's house, she paused and thanked him once more. ‘Mark, that was amazing. We must do it again.' She stood still and looked across at him in the pale light of the crescent moon, waiting for him to touch her, maybe take her in his arms and kiss her, but nothing happened. All she heard was his voice, soft and friendly, but not emotional.

‘We certainly must. Sleep well, Natalie, and I'll come round for coffee in the morning.'

She walked back into the house, feeling deflated. The light was on in her grandmother's bedroom so she walked up the stairs and went in to see her.

‘So, did you enjoy your swim?'

‘Yes, indeed. It's something I've never done before and it was amazing.'

‘And your companion?'

Natalie caught her grandmother's eye. ‘My companion is a lovely man; handsome, considerate and intelligent. The fact is, however, that he just isn't interested in me.'

‘Maybe he's just shy?'

Natalie had already considered and discarded this hypothesis. ‘No, Gran, it's not that. I think he just thinks of me as a friend he works with; a sort of sister at best.' She saw the sceptical look on her grandmother's face and added. ‘No, really, I'm pretty sure that's the way it is.'

‘So, if you get the Canada job, you won't mind leaving him and going over there to live?'

Natalie sat down on the side of the bed. ‘I've been wondering about Canada all evening.' On the one hand, the job could have been designed for her. On the other, it would take her away from all her friends, her grandmother and of course Mark, as well as David for that matter. She looked across at Colette. ‘I'd miss him a lot, I know. But I wouldn't want to put five thousand kilometres between you and me either, Gran.'

Her grandmother raised her hand. ‘That's not a valid argument. This is the first time I've seen you for more than a fleeting visit for years and I've survived. You've got to think about yourself now; yourself and your career. I think I know you better than anybody else on the planet, Natalie. We both suffered terribly after the accident and I know you well enough to see that you're still suffering. The expression of abject loneliness on your face when you first arrived here a month ago was all too clear to see.' She reached over and laid her old hand on Natalie's. ‘Life goes on, Natalie. Your mum and your dad wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life grieving for them. You've got your PhD now. You've got good chances of employment and it's up to you to make the right choice. Don't be afraid. It's your life and you're the one making the decisions.' She gave Natalie a weary smile. ‘You decide what's best for your career. The rest will all follow. And that includes men. You've got a fine man up there at the chateau and you've maybe even still got a soft spot for your David.'

Natalie looked up. She hadn't mentioned Amy's call yet, but her gran really did know her better than anybody.

‘I got a call from my friend Amy today. She said she had a visit from David and he was in tears.'

‘You see, darling?' Colette patted her hand. ‘You don't need to feel alone. You've got friends; you'll certainly find yourself the right man. It's just a matter of time.' She smiled at her. ‘And getting a man to cry over you is a very good sign.'

Natalie shook her head. ‘I think he may have left it too late, Gran.'

‘It's not too late, Natalie. Lucky you; two handsome men in your life.' She laid her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes. Natalie couldn't miss the note of nostalgia, tinged with sadness, in her voice. ‘And now, my dear, I think I'm going to sleep.'

Two men, Natalie thought to herself. Were there really two men in her life? And how seriously were they in her life? She sighed and looked down fondly at her grandmother's old face. Life could throw up some real questions from time to time.

Chapter 14

Natalie slept well that night and awoke to find a reply from Canada confirming the interview for three-thirty the following Tuesday afternoon in a central Toulouse hotel. She went across to tell her grandmother the news and found her still fast asleep, so she tiptoed out of the room and went downstairs. She made herself a mug of tea and took it out on the terrace. There was only the faintest hint of a breeze and the sky was still clear and cloud-free. She sat back and enjoyed the fresh morning air, wondering if she felt like going down for a morning swim. Considering she had been in the water less than twelve hours earlier, she decided to be lazy and took her time over her tea, thinking about the day to come and, in particular, the evening that had just passed.

She sat there, in a sort of waking dream, for so long that the tea in her mug was quite cool when she finally remembered it. She glanced at her watch, swallowed the cold tea and went upstairs to take a shower. As she passed her grandmother's door, she glanced in. The sunlight was streaming through the louvered shutters now and she could clearly see her grandmother still stretched out on the bed. Her face was turned towards the door and Natalie noticed that her eyes were open.

‘Hi, Gran. It's another beautiful day out there.' There was no response at all. Natalie felt a rising sense of panic as she tried again. ‘Gran, can you hear me, Gran?' She went across to the bed and looked down at her grandmother's face. The eyes were still wide open, but they registered nothing. Natalie bent down and caught her by the shoulder, trying to shake her awake, but the shoulder was cold and lifeless. Natalie fell to her knees beside the bed and reached out with her other hand to touch her grandmother's face with her fingers. The eyes didn't blink. She leant down and listened for breathing, touching her neck in search of a pulse, but without success. Natalie's eyes misted as she realised without a doubt that her grandmother was dead.

The doctor arrived within half an hour. He spent a few minutes upstairs in Colette's bedroom while Natalie absently made coffee in the kitchen below, tears running down her cheeks and her mind far away. When he came back downstairs, the doctor patted Natalie on the shoulder and gave her his verdict.

‘It's pretty clear your grandmother died in her sleep. It would have been very peaceful and she wouldn't have suffered at all.' He accepted a cup of black coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. ‘Did she tell you about her heart?'

Natalie looked up and shook her head. ‘No, nothing at all, doctor.'

‘Your grandmother had a very weak heart. She's been living on borrowed time for some years now, but she didn't want anybody to know, particularly you, as she didn't want to worry you.' He looked down at his coffee cup reflectively. ‘She was my favourite patient and a lovely lady. I share your loss.'

Natalie nodded blankly and wiped her face with a tissue. She felt quite drained of emotion. After the death of her parents, she had imagined she would never again be able to feel such grief, but the same tragic sense of abandonment now settled upon her like a shroud. She felt alone; lost and alone.