What Happens Tomorrow (4 page)

What's going to happen between us now?

Can things ever go back to the way they were?

I get out of the shower and dry my hair. As I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror, I realize I don’t recognize the woman looking back. On the outside, I still look the same as I always have but on the inside I’m not the same. I haven’t been that Brooke for years.

I need a change.
I need to make myself look like the Brooke I am now.

I finish putting on my jeans and just as I pull my shirt over my head, there’s a knock at the door and I’m greeted by a very happy and grinning Jenna

“You’re actually dressed!” she says, laughing at me. “I thought for sure I was going to have to use my spare key and toss your lazy ass out of bed.” She gives me a wink. It’s no big secret that it takes me forever to get ready. “Ready to go?”

“Give me two secs to take my fluffy monster out and then I’m all yours.” Charlie is still passed out on my bed. He’s as lazy as I am.

“You finish getting ready to go and I’ll take him out.” She shouts for Charlie who comes charging down the hallway at lightening speed and the two of them disappear out the front door.

I put my purse and keys on the kitchen counter and reach for my cell phone. As I unplug it from the charger I notice that there’s a new text message from Tyler.

T:
Didn’t mean to scare you tonight, just couldn’t go another day without you knowing. Promise we’ll talk later. Ty xo

My heart speeds up, pounding against my chest.

Anxious.

I’m staring at the message on my cell phone screen when Jenna comes back in.

“What’s up?” she says, bumping my shoulder with hers.

“Nothing. Just making sure my phone’s charged,” I lie. I can’t let her know what happened last night. I’m not ready to talk about it.

“Ready to go?” She links her arm into mine, and I grab my purse before we head out the door.

We have breakfast at Riptides, our favorite diner, and Jenna fills me in on her budding relationship with Jasper. She has that love sick look in her eyes.

“So is this relationship serious?”

“It is on my part. God, I hope it is on his!” she says a little too enthusiastically, causing the older man at the table beside us to look up from his morning paper. “The man is an absolute fucking god in bed! Hey, Jasper has a couple of really cute friends. We should totally hook you up with one. If they’re anything like he is bed, you won’t need BOB anymore.”

I palm my forehead as I scowl at her. She knows I hate it when she tries to set me up or brings up my non-existent sex life.

“Come on, Brooke. You haven’t been on a date since we met. It would be good for you to have a little testosterone in your life,” she says with a wink.

“I do have testosterone in my life, thank you. I have Tyler.”

Jenna rolls her eyes and huffs. “I mean someone to keep your bed warm.” She playfully moves her eyebrows up and down. “Come on, how long has it been since you had a toe curling orgasm?”

I place my face in my palms. “Ugh. I am so
not
having this conversation with you right now. It’s none of your damn business.” Jenna would never leave me alone if she knew I hadn’t been with anyone in four years.

It hasn’t really been a priority.

“And that’s my point, Brooke. Having a naked, warm body in your bed from time to time isn’t a bad thing. After all, BOB doesn’t like to cuddle after he makes you come.” Jenna chuckles, proud of the little digs at my non-existent sex life.

“Can we please drop the talk about my sex life or lack thereof?”

“Fine, but don't think this conversation is over. We’ll revisit it later like we always do. You know I’m right.” She curves her lips up into a big smile, playfully wiggling her brows. “What should we do next? After all, it is bestie day!”

Her happiness is contagious. She always looks at the positive side of everything, and you can’t help but feel the same way when you’re around her.

“Well, I was thinking I need a change.” I run my fingers through my thick, brown, wavy locks. “How do you think I would look with a pixie cut?” I pull my shoulder length hair up, simulating a shortened look.

“Seriously? I think you would look AMAZING! You should TOTALLY do it. We can do it today.”

I smile, thankful my amazing friend has given me the little push I need to go through with my transformation.

We’re about to leave as my cell beeps—another text from Tyler.
Breathe, Brooke.

T:
Stopped by your place. Why won’t you answer?

There’s a pause before my phone beeps again.

T:
Don’t shut me out. We need to talk!

“Who’s that…hmm?” my nosy friend inquires.

“It’s my mom. Says she tried to call me this morning and was a little concerned when she couldn’t get an answer this early in the morning.” I tilt my head and playfully roll my eyes at Jenna, letting her know how out of character an early morning outing is for me. “She’s just making sure I’m okay.” She chuckles, knowing how much of a worrier my mom is.

B:
Not home. Out with Jenna.

I take one last long sip of my coffee and finish texting Tyler.

B:
I can’t talk about this now.

My chest tightens, and Jenna looks at me with a raised brow. She’s no dummy. I’m terrified she’ll figure out I’m not texting my mom..

B:
I’m scared. TERRIFIED! I don’t want to lose you. Please, give me time to think. I don’t know how to process this.

“Ready?” Jenna asks, getting up from the booth, startling me from my thoughts.

I slowly nod my head, nervously chewing on my bottom lip as I tuck my cell phone into my purse. I plaster a big, fake smile across my lips. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” I try to sound convincing.

Hope it works.

Twenty minutes later, we’re standing in front of the trendy salon Jenna frequents.

I’m completely in a daze. For most people, chopping off all of your hair might not be that big of a deal but for me it’s one of the few things I have to remind me of the life I used to have. Every picture of Matt or Katelin that I’m in has my hair looking exactly the way it does right now. Cutting it all off means I’ll be losing another piece of my past and I’m scared. Scared that if I cut away everything from my past I’ll eventually forget it…them.

I thought I was ready for this but now that we’re here, I’m not so sure. I’m definitely having second thoughts.

“What’s wrong? You’re not gonna chicken out, are you?” Jenna nudges my shoulder.

“No, of course I’m not gonna chicken out. It’s just that…” I try to quickly think of an excuse why not to chop all of my hair off, but I can’t because really, there isn’t one. “Do you
really
think I’d suit a pixie cut? I mean, honestly?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” An older lady looks back at us with disgust. Yep, that’s Jenna. No filter.

“Seriously, Brookie, you could be butt bald and you’d still be fucking gorgeous. Now, are we going in or not?”

I huff in mock protest. “We’re going in.” I need to do this.

Jenna grabs my hand, dragging me into the salon before I have time to change my mind. We meet with Evan, Jenna’s regular guy. He’s very easy on the eyes—tall, blond and tattooed. Sadly, he’s not even remotely interested in women. The hot ones are always unavailable. I really hope that he’s able to pull off my hairdo without me looking like a freak. If not, I’ll be pulling a Brittany Spears and shaving my head bald.

Forty-five grueling minutes later, having had my eyes tightly shut the entire time, Evan spins my seat around and tells me to open my eyes.

“Ta-da!”

I ARRIVED HOME from my little excursion with Jenna a couple of hours ago. We stopped for a coffee after my life altering hair cut so I could get over the shell shock. Don’t get me wrong, I really like it, but it will take some getting used to. It’s a little unnerving looking into a mirror and not recognizing the person staring back at you. Apparently I’m not the only one who didn’t recognize me. Poor Charlie had to do a double take when I got home because for all I sounded like his mama, I definitely didn’t look like her.

“Don’t worry little man, it’s still me. It’s still Mama,” I quietly say, kissing his furry little head. A few moments later, a very happy little Charlie is running around the fenced pet area as I sit quietly and watch. I feel completely exhausted. Definitely a lot to process.

I’m not good with emotional, especially since the accident. It takes nearly every ounce of my strength to not fall apart over the simplest of things.

Someone catches my eye, pulling me from my thoughts, and my heart skips a beat.

Tyler.

Breathe.

Damn it if my pulse isn’t racing as I watch him, thinking about how his warm lips felt pressed tenderly against mine.

Confused.

He’s kind hearted, so incredibly handsome. I’m finding it hard to say no to him. He says he’s falling in love with me, but what if he changes his mind? It seems my body has betrayed me and decided to side with my heart as my breathing and pulse pick up at the sight of him. All that’s left is to convince my mind. Unfortunately, that won’t be as easy. My mind will always waver when it comes to moving on with my life.

With his broad shoulders, sun-kissed skin and sandy hair, not to mention his alluring ice-blue eyes, there isn’t a woman around who wouldn’t turn into a puddle at the sight of him. I’ve witnessed firsthand how women look at him when we’re out, only now I find myself looking at him that same way. It dawns on me that I’m no longer looking at him as Tyler my best friend. Now I’m looking at him as my Tyler.

Mine.

What the hell am I doing?
I cradle my face in my hands as if it might make me invisible.

He’s getting closer.

My stomach is twisting and turning, and flipping and flopping. I’m so nervous! How do I face him after last night? I’m not sure what to say. I’m completely out of my element.

I feel the warmth of his body as it nears mine. “Hi,” he quietly says, casually looking in Charlie’s direction. Glancing back at me he continues, “I saw you out here and I…I…wow! You cut all of your hair off.”

His expression is unreadable and I can’t tell if he likes it or not. “Yeah, I…um, kind of needed a change. What do you think? That bad?” I force a nervous smile across my lips as I rub the top of my head. “Do I look ridiculous?” I ask, realizing his approval means everything. I tilt my head to the side, giving him an uneasy smile.

“You look gorgeous, Brooke. Always have. It’s the perfect style for the perfect girl.” His eyes are soft and his pupils full as he gazes into my eyes. I feel as though he’s willing me to feel what he’s feeling…but I already do.

“I know I told you I would give you some space, some time to think.” He pauses for a moment and rubs his forehead, clearly stressed. “But honestly, I’m scared to give it to you. I’m scared if I do…I’ll lose you.” His last words come out almost whispered.

Crouching down in front of me he steadies himself by placing his hands on either side of the chair I’m sitting in, capturing me. The closeness of his body renders my brain completely void of all logical thought.

Desire.

I cautiously eye the bronze, toned arms on either side of me. Tyler and I have had our arms around each other many times before, as friends, but how would it feel to have him holding me tight against his chest in the warmth and safety of his arms. My eyes trace up his muscled forearms towards his shoulders and I can’t help but appreciate how defined his shoulders and chest look in the plain gray t-shirt he’s wearing. His body isn’t big and bulky, but toned and…
perfect
.

I look up to see a slight grin spread across Tyler’s lips, realizing that I’ve been caught looking him up and down with my mouth slightly agape.
God, I feel like such an idiot.
Embarrassed, I look down at my hands which are now intertwined nervously on my lap. I don’t think I can look him in the face. I feel the warmth of his skin on mine as he gently touches and tilts my chin up, making me look at him.