What Happiness Looks Like (Promises) (21 page)

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

JOELY

Joely felt like something important was about to happen as she and Dalton walked along the river with a little terrier mix nipping at their heels. He’d been the runt of the litter and none of the vet clinic’s patrons had offered to take him home. Joely nodded toward the puppy. “What are you going to call him?”

“Harry, I think. For Harry Potter.”

“Another famous orphan.”

Dalton reached over and laced his fingers with Joely’s.

She liked the way their hands fit together. She and Dalton had kissed several times, but for some reason, this was the first time they’d held hands and it felt special. She watched the two collies and the retriever running ahead of them. “Who takes care of your pets when you go on vacation?”

“Vacation? What’s that?” He smiled.

“You don’t like to travel even inside the country?”

“I traveled over five-hundred miles to get here. Look around.” He gestured toward the sky with its clouds shaped like the stuffing pulled out of pillows. “It doesn’t get much better than this.”

Joely inhaled the fresh air and listened as the water rushed over rocks. Gazing at the approaching forest, she had to admit it seemed perfect. “It’s amazing that you get to live here, wake up to this every day.” But would it be enough? Even though she’d probably never get the chance, she still wanted to visit Europe.

Dalton stopped and faced her. Something about his stoic face and the way he held her fingertips made her think he was about to drop to one knee.

Her heartbeat resonated throughout her chest. Her hand started to tremble. This was it! Finally she and Anna would be part of a family—one with a mom, dad and a brother. Just as she had always imagined. The fact that they would live here, in a little cabin along a river, took her dreams to a whole new level.

Dalton kissed her knuckles. “Joely, I love you. I think you know that.”

She nodded, her lower lip quivering.

“I want to be with you every single day. I want to wake up next to you, work with you all day at the clinic, and then go home with you at night.”

Her brow furrowed. They would work together for a while, but as soon as Pippa was ready, Joely would gladly step aside, giving the receptionist her old job back. She was not cut out for office work. She pushed those thoughts away. Pay attention to Dalton!

The puppy jumped on Dalton’s legs, but couldn’t reach past his knees.

Dalton stuffed his hand into his front jean pocket and pulled out a ring. No velvet box, just a light blue ring. The stone looked like a teardrop. “I’m not sure what the proper etiquette is here.” He held the gold circle between his thumb and index finger. “But I want you to move in with me.”

“What?”

“I want us to live together.” He tried to slip the ring onto her finger.

She curled up her hands and stepped back. “You’re asking me to shack up?”

He laughed at her expression. “I guess so. Some might call it ‘living in sin’.” He winked at her.

She did not return his smile. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. She’d been ready to give her heart to this man. To share Anna with him. And all he could commit to was sleeping under the same roof?

In a blur of motion, she turned and started marched toward the cabin, toward her neglected car. The puppy followed her, jumping in front of and around her. Harry’s barks were tiny, but passionate.

From behind, she heard Dalton. “Joely, wait!”

She had to get away from there. As she picked up speed, the puppy ran between her legs, tripping her. She fell onto the soft grass. “Damn it!”

Dalton rushed over and knelt down next to her. “Are you alright?”

Harry licked her face. His breath smelled like liver.

She tried not to laugh at her clumsiness, at the puppy’s over-the-top enthusiasm now that she was down on his level. She wanted to stay mad. “Why am I always falling down in front of you?”

Dalton offered her his hand. “So I can help you up.”

Ignoring his outstretched hand, she remained on the ground. “I don’t want your help.” She thought they were about to become a team. How embarrassing. She looked at the mutt skittering around them and remembered how Pippa said Dalton liked to step in when no one else would. “I’m not one of your strays that needs saving.”

He stroked the dog’s brown coat. “I know that. What’s wrong with you?”

Holding back the unwelcome tears, she shook her head. “I thought. . .” She didn’t want to break down. “I feel like such a fool. I thought you were going to propose.” She stood and continued on her escape route.

He and the dog followed behind her. “Is that why you’re mad?”

She whirled around. “Of course that’s why. I have a daughter. I’m her role model. What kind of message does it send her if I move in with you?”

“That it’s OK to let someone take care of you. That we love each other.”

Even though the two of them clearly had a strong connection, she’d still never said, “I love you.” She wet her lips. “Call me old-fashioned, but I want a ring—a
diamond
ring, and the ‘til death do us part’ commitment that comes with it.” She fought back the sobs again. “The truth is, I don’t even care about the diamond.”

“I’ve been married and it didn’t last. I don’t ever want to risk getting hurt like that again.” He looked away as if he were stomping down his own pain.

“Well, there’s risk in every relationship. That’s how it is.”

“I’m sorry if I misled you. I told you I’m more Clark Kent than Superman.” The corners of his mouth pulled upward, trying to lighten the mood. “If we’d met six years ago, I would’ve proposed. But now. . . I’m a different person.”

Joely blinked hard before turning away. “So am I.”

LILY

Dear Dayna,

Mr. H gave me a gift today. It’s an old heart-shaped locket that he found at an antique shop when he was looking for watches. He polished it so it looks brand-new. It’s even prettier than the one Mrs. H’s sister has. Inside he put the picture of you the hospital took after you were born.

I started to worry that Mr. H was just like every other man. But then he told me his dad had a saying, “Be wary of generous strangers”. Mr. H said whether I give you to Mrs. H and him or not, the necklace was mine to keep.

Then he said that all of the adults in the house took turns cooking dinner and it was time I joined the rotation. That’s how I knew he was different. He gave me something and told me right up front what he wanted in return.

I hope everybody likes macaroni and cheese because that’s the only thing I know how to make. I won’t stick around the dinner table to find out, though. I’ll go eat in my room like I always do.

I think Mr. H might not be too bad.

Lily

JOELY

Desperate, Joely closed her eyes as she sat in the dimly lit auditorium. She’d arrived at meditation a few minutes early and tried to calm herself without the guidance of the instructor. She imagined her “happy place”, inside her dad’s wood shop. It was a warm spring day and they’d propped the door open with a rock to let in the breeze. He helped her hold the hammer so she could nail together 1” x 8” pieces of cedar to make a birdhouse with a peaked roof. She then painted little daisies and bumblebees on the outside.

Most of the time, though, her dad had worked on projects for paying customers that he would sometimes let her help sand or stain. Those were good times, too. The muggy room, the buzz of his electric saw, the way her dad showed her how to move the wide brush with the wood grain—these were some of her favorite memories.

Someone coughed and Joely lost her concentration.

She wished Anna could have those kind of moments with her father. Dalton would’ve made an excellent stepfather. Why didn’t he want to marry her? Why didn’t any man want to make a lifetime commitment to her?

Stop the negative thoughts. This was about Dalton and his baggage—not hers. He married too quickly the first time and gotten burned. Now he was afraid to take the chance again.

Joely sensed someone taking the seat just one away from her.

The person slapped his palms against the armrests as if playing the bongos. He cleared his throat. “You’re Kate’s sister, right?”

Startled, she looked to her left. It was the guy Kate used to work with, the one she wanted to keep secret from Mitch. Joely bobbed her head in a not-too-friendly hello, thinking he needed to wash his shoulder-length hair.

“You’re taller than she is, and you have different coloring, but the way you chew your bottom lip and cross your legs . . . I can tell that you’re definitely sisters.” His knee bounced up and down rapidly. “I’m Evan. Is Kate here?” He looked over his shoulder, searching. When Joely said no, he asked, “Would you tell her I said hi?”

She shrugged. Kate seemed to be avoiding him, but wouldn’t explain why. The bigger question was why this guy, who was closer to Joely’s age than Kate’s, was more interested in her forty-year-old married sister than her? Not to brag, but back in college, nine times out of ten, guys were drawn to Joely over Kate. They were both pretty in different ways, but Joely was more boisterous, more outgoing, while Kate was quieter, more of a bookworm.

Lately, though, Joely had become a recluse. When had everything changed? The lupus diagnosis certainly knocked the wind out of her sails. Then the pregnancy triggered more health problems and she’d moved to Foxworth to be near Kate.

And Kate and Mitch had been wonderful. She owed them. She didn’t know what she would’ve done without them. But she was lonely. She realized that now.

Enya’s calming “Only Time” lyrics wove their way through the air.

Evan leaned toward her. “Would you give this to Kate?” He held out a note scribbled on the back of a receipt.

The instructor took his place near the front and switched to an instrumentals-only CD. He began guiding them to let go of the day’s troubles. Joely took the receipt and shoved it in her purse.

Fidgety Evan sprang from his chair and raced out of the room.

Now free from distractions, she took a deep breath and it all became very clear.

She’d hung all of her hopes and dreams on Dalton. He could’ve been the whole package: a doting husband to her and father to Anna. She liked him so much. And she wanted to love him.

But she didn’t.

# # #

The next morning Joely poured some detergent and a cup of vinegar into the washing machine. The vinegar had been a tip she’d learned from Mrs. Pilo, her old babysitter. The vinegar brightened and freshened things. Joely’s world sure could use some brightening right about now.

Yesterday a letter had arrived from Logan Prep. The words kept running through her mind.

“We would be pleased to accept Anna Shupe into the first grade class next fall at Logan Preparatory Academy. Unfortunately, we do not offer financial aid, only scholarships based upon academic achievement. After one year of attendance, Anna would be eligible to apply for one of those scholarships.

Sincerely,

Preston Holmes, Headmaster”

What kind of mother was she that she couldn’t provide for her own daughter? She went to Anna’s pink room and stripped the sheets off the bed. Cleaning was usually the way Kate dealt with her stress, but today Joely needed to keep her hands busy.

Besides the disappointing news about financial aid, she felt rejected by Dalton, like she was fun for now, but he wanted to keep his options open for later. Even if he wasn’t perfect for her, his lame proposal stung.

On her way out of Anna’s room, she accidentally tripped on a pile of books left on the floor. Dropping to her knees, she re-stacked the books. She picked up
City Mouse, Country Mouse
based on Aesop’s Fable. Anna hadn’t understood the moral “Better beans and bacon in peace than cakes and ale in fear” because she liked cake, but didn’t know what ale was.

Joely rubbed her fingers over the beautiful illustration on the cover: a soft watercolor detailed with pen and ink. The point was that country life might be simpler, but also safer. Kate was a country mouse, so content in this small town where she bumped into former co-workers and students every time she went to the grocery store. But Joely had never quite settled in. Her treasured Fiesta ware collection remained boxed up in the basement shadows, waiting. Her painting career had met a dead end.

Tracing the outline of the city mouse, she couldn’t help but think he was the one that felt more alive.

She gathered up Anna’s dirty sheets and put them in the washer. She knocked on Lily’s door and opened it when no one answered. The room was empty. She peeled the small fitted sheet, adorned with frolicking kittens, from Dayna’s crib mattress and tossed it on the carpet. Next, she lifted Lily’s pillow and jumped back in shock.