What I've Done (17 page)

He sets his burger down and frowns at me. “Why not?”

“I am not overly into the whole attention on me thing.”

He leans into me. “So no party, but can I at least get you something?”

I laugh and push him away playfully. “I don’t want you spending any money on me, either.”

“Okay, so pretend you can have anything you want that doesn’t require money. What would it be?” He watches me from behind his shoulder, almost seeming to hide the smile spreading on his lips.

Taking a deep breath, I look out into the water. “Other than getting the parents I had as a child back and giving my sister the life she deserves?”

“Okay, that’s a tough one,” he says, squeezing my hand. “Maybe something a bit more… tangible for the time being.”

I grin over at him. “Okay, second birthday wish? It would probably be to learn how to play the guitar. My father played and he was totally amazing. My mother said he used to play for me when I was a baby and it would lull me right to sleep. There is just something so graceful and magical about the sound the strings make. Maybe it’s just a silly sentimental thing, but I would love to sit down and stroke out some Jack Johnson tunes.”

“Jack Johnson, huh?” His own grin deepens and he nudges me with his leg.

I push his leg back with a giggle. “Don’t even pretend like you don’t adore him, too. I totally saw you wearing his t-shirt the day we met. Admit it.”

His smile morphs into a straight line, making him appear serious. “Oh, you’ll hear no argument from me. Jack Johnson is amazing.”

“I know it’s stupid, but for as long as I can remember I have dreamed of going to Hawaii to see him perform. There is just something about his voice paired with the guitar that is so magical. His tunes have helped me get through some pretty rough times in my life.”

I sigh at the dreamy thought of seeing him in Hawaii, even though I know there is no chance it would ever really happen. My friend Tasha had given me a poster of the musician surfing in Oahu for my sixteenth birthday and it was one of the very few decorations I kept on the walls of my bedroom.

“I don’t think that’s stupid. Maybe someday we can go to Hawaii together and watch him,” Eli says with a wink.

“Right,” I respond, my voice dripping with heavy sarcasm. As much as I love the thought of going anywhere with Eli, I can’t imagine we would ever get the chance to go on such an amazing trip together.

Our eyes meet and for a moment we continue to stare at each other. All at once it feels like he is peering into my soul and I feel something so profound that I gasp. The feeling consuming me is so foreign that I don’t even really know exactly how to process it, but I know it to be true all the same.

It’s at this moment I realize I’m not just falling for him.

I am totally and undeniably in love with him.

* * *

The morning before my birthday, Svetlana lets me sleep in. When I finally wake to the bright morning light, I lie underneath the lush down comforter, taking in the tastefully decorated guest room I have come to love. The whole house has a modern and beachfront feel to it, but my room is especially pleasing. The walls are painted in subtle blues with washed out white woodwork and a collection of star fish outlining the two large picture windows that face the ocean. Their house is even nicer than my friend Tasha’s large, two-story home that I had spent so much time hanging out in.

With the thought of my friend, I find myself wishing I could contact her and tell her all about my new life. I wonder what she would have to say about Eli and the fact that I am falling for him so soon after we have just met. She had lots of boyfriends in the time we were friends but never admitted to actually loving any of them.

Rose’s giggles carry in from the other room, tearing me away from my thoughts. It makes me so incredibly happy to know she is adjusting well to our new arrangement. We were so lucky to get Svetlana for a foster parent. I haven’t gotten to know Markus very well yet as he continues to work many late nights, but it is obvious he is enamored of Svetlana and appreciates the loving person she is. He is always especially kind to Rose and me when we do get to see him. He makes good money and it is beyond generous of him to want to take in kids like us.

There is a tap on my door just a few minutes before the small digital clock on my nightstand reads noon.

“Come in,” I call out.

“Want to check to make sure you still breathe,” Svetlana says in her adorable broken-English. She is wearing a yellow pencil skirt that flows around her calves at the bottom with a three-quarters sleeved white, fluffy sweater. Her hair has large curls that are pinned on one side of her head. It is easy to imagine how Markus must have adored Svetlana the first time he laid eyes on her.

I laugh and scoot my body up to a sitting position. “I was just enjoying your beautiful house, Svetlana.”

Her smile stretches across her entire face when she sits on the bed beside me. “Letter from court came in mail yesterday. You will go see Judge next week.”

I had completely forgotten about our next appearance in court. The realization that we have to go instantly deflates my pleasant mood and I become depressed.

“When?” I ask, letting my shoulders fall in defeat.

“Monday. But you do not worry. Markus says we keep you as long as Judge says okay.”

I giggle a little when it sounds more like she is talking about a puppy. “I would like that,” I say. “You have been so kind to us, Svetlana. You have no idea what that means.”

The emotions are so overwhelming that my eyes fill up with tears. I don’t know how to tell her everything that we have been through without giving her all the secrets I have to keep for our protection.

“I love to make sisters happy. Markus and I cannot have baby so he tells me we help kids who do not have good parents.”

I smile sadly. “I had good parents…once.”

She nods in understanding and pats my leg. “Your sister waits for you to get ‘your lazy butt up.’ After we have lunch we go to the beach and swim, yes?”

I laugh gently. “Yes.”

She leans in to give me our first real, soulful hug together. I wrap my arms around her small body, burying my face in her soft hair that smells like lilacs. I shut my eyes, savoring the moment. As wonderful as it is to have Svetlana as our foster mother, I also know things for me and Rose don’t always have a happy ending.

* * *

 After an eventful day at the beach we return home late in the night. Svetlana and Markus had taken us for dinner at an amazing seafood restaurant on the pier where I tried my first lobster tail. I was shocked when I had actually liked it. All day it was easy to pretend like we were a happy family. When Markus was throwing Rose into the waves and she was laughing hysterically I found myself hoping we would never have to leave this foster home. Rose could finally get a fair chance at having a mother and father who loved her.

Sometimes I think Rose would be better off on her own with a family like theirs.

When sleep refuses to find me, I wait until everyone else seems to be sound asleep and sneak out to the patio. I snuggle under a blanket on one of the chairs, watching the waves as they twinkle and dance in the scant moonlight. My favorite part about California has become letting my mind focus on the beauty and sounds of the ocean while my worries fade into the background.

Relaxation has kicked in and I finally begin to feel sleepy when a bright light flashes from behind the flowering bushes and my name is whispered. I sit up with a start and look over near the hot tub to discover Eli appearing out of the darkness.

“Sorry. I didn’t want to scare you,” he whispers.

I bring a hand to my chest, feeling my heart jump erratically underneath. “Too late for that.”

Eli steps onto the patio carrying a black guitar case in one hand. He casually leans against the stone wall beside me and flashes his trademark grin. I am not surprised that he knows where we live, but I wonder why he hasn’t stopped by before now. But I begin to fear the worst.

“Are you here because something is wrong? Does it have something to do with Johnny?”

He shakes his head back and forth for a second. “Nothing is wrong, other than it was a really long day without getting to talk to you.”

Even in the dark night I can get lost in the pools of his magnificent sapphire eyes. I wish he would come closer so I could feel his warmth that has become so familiar to me.

“I found out today we have to go to court on Monday. What if the Judge decides to throw me into a juvie center and sends Rose back to Minnesota?”

More paranoid thoughts continue to fill my head once I start saying them out loud, but Eli walks over to stand beside me, shaking his head. He slides into the space beside me in the lounging chair, setting the guitar on the ground and curling his fingers through mine.

“Lily, I keep telling you I won’t let anything happen. You just have to trust me.”

“But what if the social worker in Minnesota finally makes a connection with the one out here? And what if Johnny comes to the hearing? He could easily claim to be Rose’s father and they probably can’t prove him to be wrong. He has pictures of her, and who knows what else he may have found in our apartment.”

Eli lifts my chin with his finger and his eyes settle on mine.

“Listen to me. In the same way you said you trust me without question, you have to trust that I have ways of making things happen. I can be very resourceful when it comes to influencing people.”

“Really?” I ask. “Does that mean you’ve been influencing me all this time?” I laugh playfully but he doesn’t answer my question. Instead he drops his hand from my chin and slowly picks the guitar up, setting it between us.

“What is this?” I ask.

He laughs. “It’s a guitar. I figured you at least knew what one looked like.”

“Obviously,” I say, rolling my eyes and smiling a little. “What I meant is who does it belong to? Is it yours?” I tell myself if he busts it out and plays a song for me I’m pretty sure I will faint. It would be too much to take on top of his amazing good looks and wonderful personality.

He unzips the case to reveal a handsomely pale, acoustic guitar. It looks just like the one I remember my father having when I was a little girl, but I think my mother sold his years ago to pay some bills. I run my hand along the sleek body of it, marveling in its beauty.

Eli grins down at me. “It’s yours.”

I push the guitar gently back at him. “No way! I told you not to buy me anything and I meant it, Eli. I can’t accept something like this. I’m sure it is worth a lot of money.”

He shrugs and places it in my lap. “I didn’t spend money on it.”

I raise an eyebrow at him but laugh at the same time. “So you stole it?”

I pull the elegant instrument up into my arms the way I had seen my father do a hundred times.

Eli laughs in a soft voice. “You really think I would steal something like this?”

“Of course not. But where did you get it then?” I run my thumb along a few of the strings, shivering with delight at the lovely, deep sound the instrument makes.

“It belonged to an old friend. He couldn’t use it any longer, so he asked me to give it to someone that would appreciate it.”

“Are you serious?” I ask. This friend he speaks of obviously meant a lot to him and I am touched that Eli chose to give it to me.

He is watching me with a pleased look, but I can tell there is something bothering him; something he has wanted to tell me for days but can’t get himself to say.

“Lily...” He licks his lips and his expression turns downright apologetic. “You are going to be eighteen in something like an hour from now, right? Do you remember how I promised I would tell you everything on your birthday?”

I nod with delayed movement of my head, feeling a bit anxious by whatever it is he is about to tell me. There is a faraway look in his eyes that I’m not sure I want to understand.

His eyes seem to soothe over me as he speaks. “The guitar belonged to your father. Lily, he sent me here.”

I swear my heart totally stops beating.

I let my arms fall to my side. Either I didn’t hear him correctly or he has totally lost his marbles. I search his eyes for the right answer but he continues to watch me patiently as I process what he has said.

“That’s not funny, Eli. My father is dead. You know that.”

He brings his hands up to my jaw and lets his soft thumbs caress my cheeks. “Lily, this may be a bit hard for you to process, but your father was an angel—your mother’s guardian angel.”

I am so stunned I don’t know what to say, so he continues with great pause, as if carefully choosing each word before saying it. My vision becomes blurred when tears begin to form.

“When your father allowed himself to appear to your mother, they fell in love. The connection an angel feels with his human is beyond anything you can imagine and not like just any ordinary love. But if that love turns into the romantic kind, it becomes even deeper. It isn’t unheard of for angels to choose to become mortal to be with a human. Once they die as a mortal, however, they aren’t allowed to return to earth because of the choice they have made.

When your father died, your mother’s heart broke into a million pieces. She knew you needed her, but when the pain of losing your father became unbearable, she used the alcohol to numb the pain of losing your father. When the alcohol wasn’t enough she turned to drugs.”

With every word he speaks, I feel as if I am falling deeper and deeper into some kind of tunnel. His voice becomes tinny and sounds further away with each word. The light around me begins to fade, strangely feeling a lot like the night I almost died. But I know deep in my heart Eli isn’t crazy and he isn’t making up some kind of wild story.

“Your mother brought you out here for a reason, Lily. This is the city where your parents met when she came out to visit a friend. This is also where your father decided to fall for her. She hoped you would find the kind of happiness she once knew when she lived here.”

My mother had never mentioned that she had met my father in California, but Eli’s story begins to make sense, like puzzle pieces falling into place. She had lived all those years with a severely broken heart and brought us to the place where she had found their love. All the stories about angels and my father that I previously wrote off as drug-induced rants were actually her attempts to reveal their secrets to me.