What She Wanted (30 page)

My formerly broken heart unfurled, completely open and ready for whatever came next.

Dean lifted one of my hands in his. “I was also thinking about how lucky I am that you let me be there while you experienced all those firsts.”

Heat raced up my neck and set my face on fire. I turned my face to hide the fierce blush.

“Not just that one.” He laughed and pulled me against his chest. “I mean your first football game, climbing the water tower, the gala…I’m especially thankful that you were there for one of my firsts, too.”

I rolled my eyes up and rested my chin on his sternum. “What?”

“I’ve never been in love before.” His voice was thick and low.

The fire in his eyes kindled a burn in my belly.

“I love you, Katy Reese.”

“And I love you.” I leaned back, safely cradled in the strength of his arms. “You know, they say you never get over your first love.”

He hovered his lips over mine. “I don’t plan on it.”

* * * *

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the friendly voice began and my muscles tensed. “As we begin our descent into New York City, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright positions and that your seat belt is securely fastened. Your carry-on luggage should be stowed underneath the seat in front of you at this time or inside one of the overhead bins. We also ask that you please turn off all electronic devices until we are safely on the ground. Thank you.”

My heart rate jacked up, and I instantly regretted the complimentary in-air cookies and soda. Outside my little window, clouds gave way to a sea of gray. Everything below me was bland, dirty, and foreign. Buildings stretched into the skyline, reaching for our plane as we bobbed lower, through air currents and an occasional low-flying cloud. New York City looked a whole heck of a lot different from where I sat than it had in any of the movies or tourist videos I’d binged on over the past two weeks. From here it was ugly and intimidating.

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” the man beside me asked.

“Sure.” Not really. Not from here. Why was everything dreary-looking? Where was the grass? Where were the trees and lakes and cattle? I leaned closer to the window. Somewhere, amidst all that cement, was a row of crimson flags I’d recognize anywhere. I’d dreamed of them for years, never truly believing I’d see them in real life, let alone belong to them. The flags wavered on my laptop wallpaper like beacons, beckoning me away from my comfort zone. Out of Ohio. Into the unknown.

And here I was.

The plane dove, strong and steady toward our destination, carrying me into my future, whatever that might be. Soon, I’d be a tiny speck on the sidewalk, surrounded by strangers, traffic and buildings so high I couldn’t imagine. The tallest building in Woodsfield was the courthouse. It had three floors, a dome and one of the largest clocks in the world. I missed the courthouse.

My tummy jolted as the plane’s wheels connected with the runway, thrusting us forward then reeling us back. Until two hours ago, the water tower was the highest I’d ever been. Today was a day for firsts. When Dean kissed me good-bye at the airport, I’d followed the signs to my terminal and then to my gate. I’d watched other travelers, listened to the announcements and figured it out. He promised I’d be okay. I already knew that, but I kissed him anyway.

The man beside me stood to let me out first. He got my bag down from the overhead bin and said something that sounded friendly, but my ears were ringing with the voice that said I would fail, get lost, or throw up in a fit of juvenile terror.

I followed the signs inside the gargantuan airport and I texted Heidi, Josh, and Sylvia from the luggage carousel. Everyone responded with enthusiasm.

Swarms of people buzzed past in every direction as I floundered into the midday sun, backpack on my back, computer bag over one shoulder, camera cross-body, a duffle in one hand and rolling case in the other. This was it.

Sylvia had arranged transportation to the school for me, but she hadn’t explained how I’d know where to find the car or what it would look like, or if it was a car not a bus or taxi. Panic whirled in my stomach. Taxis lined the curb. The world shimmered and tilted.

Come on, Katy. I didn’t come this far to freak out at the airport.

“Katy?” Mr. Montgomery wiggled a little sign with my name on it. “Welcome to New York.”

I could’ve hugged him.

“Hi.” I climbed into the passenger side of his Lexus and exhaled ten pounds of anxiety.

He pulled into traffic with ease and confidence. Like there wasn’t a bumper-to-bumper flow of honking, yelling lunatics. Like none of it phased him. Just like a New Yorker.

I turned my phone around in my fingers and snapped a picture of the crowded skyline as it came into view. I sent the photo to Dean.
“Wish you were here.”

His response was instant.
“Give ’em hell, Reese.”

“Will do.”

“You ready for this?” Mr. Montgomery asked, a good-natured smile gracing his face.

The city crawled by my window, unlike anything I’d ever seen before. My mother’s words poured into my mind, so fervently and so real, I could almost hear her speaking.

My name is Amy Reese. I’m seventeen years old. I’m six months pregnant with the most perfect daughter in the entire history of the world and this is what I want for her:

1. Love your grandparents. Hug them often, and tell them you love them. Remind them how much I do too. Especially if I can’t.

2. Chase your dreams. Whatever they are, grab on with both hands and don’t let go.

3. Laugh. Enjoy your life, even the troubles. Not everyone is lucky enough to have them.

4. Give. Do random acts of kindness. You never know how far those can reach. And, forgive whenever you can. Forgiveness is a gift that blesses both people.

5. Make friends. Smile at people. Smiles are contagious. Try it. You’ll see.

6. Fall in love.

7. Let the world know you. Don’t be afraid of who you are, and don’t apologize for it. You are beautiful and perfect. Embrace it.

8. Go fishing with your grandpa. He loves the lake. I bet you’ll be a great fisherwoman. I hope I get to go with you.

9. Know I loved you.

10. Live.

If you do these things, I’ll know I was a good mom, and I’ll know you’re going to be okay.

“I’m ready,” I answered him and my mother at once.

There was no doubt in my mind I’d honored her, proved she was a good mom, and that I would be okay. I loved Mark. I’d chased my dreams all the way to the city. I’d laughed, given, made friends, fallen in love, let people know me, and been kind, even when I wanted to be awful.

I’d always known my mother loved me. I’d never doubted that. What else, besides love, would drive a person to suffer pain, anguish, and death for the life of another? What else would cause a dying woman to keep the journal I’d read and reread until the pages were loose in their binding? My mom loved me, more than I could understand.

It was her last request I’d considered at length, sometimes from night until dawn. Had she meant to put it at the end, when it seemed most logical at the beginning? What did it mean to her exactly? I’d never have those answers, but I knew what it meant to me, and I was ready to get started.

The car stopped outside a building with crimson flags and the most beautiful sign I’d ever read. “Welcome New York Film Academy Freshmen.”

I blinked fresh tears and stepped into the steamy summer breeze. She wanted me to live, and I wanted to give her exactly what she wanted.

THE END

Julie Anne Lindsey is a multi-genre author who writes the stories that keep her up at night. She’s a
self-proclaimed nerd with a penchant for words and a proclivity for fun. Julie lives in rural Ohio with her husband and three small children. Visit her website at: Julieannelindsey.com, tweet her @JulieALindsey, and find her on Facebook.

Keep reading for an excerpt from Julie Anne Lindsey’s

On the other side of death, is destiny.

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Callie’s caught in the middle of a budding Norse apocalypse, in love with Liam Hale and desperate to protect her best friend…who the Hales believe is marked for transformation. Putting the clues together as fast as she can, Callie discovers she has the power to rewrite destiny, for herself and all humankind.

A Lyrical e-book on sale now.

Learn more about Julie Anne at
http://www.kensingtonbooks.com/author.aspx/31621

“I’ve got one.” Allison scooped wild brown hair into a ponytail and smiled. “Would you rather…”

I groaned.
Would you rather
was like
Truth or Dare,
except with no one to kiss.

“Come on. Would you rather spend two weeks on your dream vacation alone or one week alone with anyone you want, but you have to stay here?” Allison cleared the remains of our last customers’ dinners and loaded dirty dishes into a brown plastic tub. “I’d choose the second one and make Hannah Snyder watch me cuddled up to Dylan O’Brien for seven days straight.”

“You didn’t say there would be cuddling.” I retied my apron, buying time to think.

Allison dropped the tub of dirty dishes onto the counter with a wicked gleam in her eye. “Oh, there will definitely be cuddling.”

Soft country music played over hidden speakers. Allison’s crystal blue eyes sparkled. I shuffled booted feet on the white tiled floor, praying for another wave of customers.

Roll With It was the only deli in town and a popular hangout. The deli’s name came from its owner, Buddy, and his hipster approach to life wherein he did and said everything ironically. He was in the kitchen at the moment, wearing unnecessary black-framed glasses, an Army T-shirt and an unbuttoned mechanics shirt with Mack on the name patch. Overkill wasn’t in Buddy’s vocabulary.

“So, which would you rather?” Allison leaned her hip against the counter.

“I’d rather leave. I love this place and its bizarre historical charm, but I’ve never been anywhere else. I’d take a vacation for a while if I could.”

I lifted the ceramic lid on each soup tureen. Rich scents of cheddar, bacon, and potatoes wafted out as I stirred. The tang of southwestern veggies followed. I saved chicken noodle, my favorite buttery aroma, for last. With any luck, Allison would find something else to do if I looked disinterested enough. Or changed the subject. “How was college this week?”

She slapped the nearest table. “Amazing. Did I tell you another hot guy transferred into my Anatomy and Physiology class?”

“Yes. Yesterday.”

“Oh, no, no, no. Today.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Another one? Really?” Lucky.

“I swear he’s hotter than the one yesterday. The two of them talked through half the class as if they knew each other. Drove the professor nutty, but he never said anything. Probably because they’re each the size of a pickup truck.”

“They’re friends?”

“Not sure, but wow. I like that idea a lot. A whole community college fraternity full of them.” She fanned her face with napkins from the dispenser on the table.

Wind rattled the door and I jumped.

Change was in the air, thick and foreboding as black thunderclouds before a storm. Fall in the Midwest was a beautiful, but tragic season. Trees prepared for a long winter’s rest by releasing the very appendages they’d spawned and nurtured for so long, like mother birds shoving babies from the nest, except the babies lived. Leaves flew and clung to whatever would hold them until they crumbled into dust. Orphans. Amber and scarlet leaves splattered patterns over sidewalks and roads through town. Every bluster sent more leaves coiling down, bursting free from the giant oaks who had nourished them. Mums lined wraparound porches and flagstone garden paths to historical front doors. Apple trees dropped pink blossoms onto long country driveways. Fall was beautiful, true, but for many things it meant death, dormancy, and otherwise ceasing to exist.

Weariness weighted my chest. Senior year meant change, tough decisions, and the end of an era. Ten months from now, I’d be on a college campus someplace brand new to me. I could start fresh. Be anything I wanted. My possibilities were endless. Until then, I needed to get out of my head.

Gnarled branches of ancient trees swayed outside the deli window while two enormous crows pecked the ground and ruffled their wings. Moonlight cast an eerie glow on the scene. One round eye of each bird settled on the store window, and I froze. The sensation the crows watched me and not the other way around sent goose bumps down my arms.

I took a step toward the window. “Do you see those huge crows?”

A blast of green lightning illuminated the world without warning and I jumped back.

Breath caught in my throat. “Did you see that?” I turned in a circle. Allison was gone. Her laugh trickled from the kitchen.

Wind whistled around the door frame and pelted the glass with rain-wetted leaves. Ominous clouds crept like thieves across the dark horizon. The crows were gone. Relief flooded through me. I had to pull it together. Crows weren’t spying on me, and lightning wasn’t green. Tint on the deli window must’ve given it a funky look. I rested my elbows on the counter and my chin in both hands.

Allison bustled out from the kitchen. “Do you hear this wind? I wish it would rain already. My car needs a wash.”

“I don’t think it works that way.” I checked again for the crows. Lightning probably scared them away. Uneasiness fluttered in my chest. The storm had threatened and hovered all day without committing. Commitment was an issue in this town.