What the Dog Ate (24 page)

“Thanksgiving weekend? Wow, it’s
early this year; that’s less than two months away.”

“I know, but we don’t want to wait.
And it’s not going to be anything formal. No big church wedding or anything
like that, just a civil ceremony with close friends and family.”

“Oh, how did Mom take that news?”

“You know, I think she was so
shocked that I’m getting married, it didn’t faze her.”

“That figures. Nothing you do fazes
her.”

“No, really. She was super happy.”

Of course she
was; Kevin could tell Mom the Pope’s a cross-dresser and she’d smile and agree.
Actually, he really is a cross-dresser. You never see him in slacks
. She
started wondering what the Pope wears under his robes when Kevin continued.

“She’s going to drive up with
Grandma and Humphrey. Can’t wait to meet Gram’s boyfriend. I’ve got to call
Shay when I get off the phone with you.”

“What about Russell?”

“I just got off the phone with him
actually.”

“Oh, you called him before me,” she
teased. “I guess I know where I stand.”

“I had to call my best man first.
But, get this; he doesn’t want to be my best man.”

“What? Are you kidding? Why not?”

“He wants to be the minister. Said
he can get a single-use license on the Internet,” Kevin laughed. “Won’t that be
great?”

“A single-use license? This isn’t a
fishing trip. Is that even legitimate?”

“I’m sure it’s fine. But I’m still
short a best man, so I was thinking of asking you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, come on.” He convinced her
it was going to be a non-traditional event, which was easy considering his
choice of minister. He also told her that Annie was asking Jeremy to be her
“Man of Honor” so it would work out perfectly; with the two most instrumental
people in getting them back together standing up for them.

“OK. I’m in. But I’m not getting
you a stripper for your bachelor party.”

After she hung up, Maggie decided
to call Mom to get her reaction to the no-church-wedding news. She guessed that
Mom wouldn’t care; her “baby” could do no wrong.

“Oh Maggie, have you talked to
Kevin?” She could hear the excitement in Mom’s voice.

“I sure did. That’s why I’m
calling. Pretty great news, huh?”

“Yes, I’m thrilled! But, I’d be
more thrilled if all my children were settled down—”

“Mom,” Maggie cut her off. “Could
we not go there? Can we just both be happy for Kevin for like five minutes?”

“I’m very happy for Kevin, honey.
I’m over the moon.”

“I know you are, but... never
mind.” She rolled her eyes. Since Mom had already managed to make her crazy fifteen
seconds into their conversation, she decided not to bring up the whole civil
ceremony thing. She figured she’d try to move on as if her mother was not
completely irritating her. She was usually pretty good at that. She’d had a lot
of practice. “So, Kev says you’re driving up with Gram and Humphrey.”

“Yes, your Grandmother’s very
excited. It’s been such a long time since we had the whole family together. And
it will be nice for you to meet Humphrey. He’s very sweet with her.”

“I can’t wait. They sound adorable.
Gram told me she had to warn him she’s not on the pill.”

“Margaret Anastasia.”

“Hey, I’m just repeating what
your
mother said.” She was pleased to hear Mom let out a
small laugh.

“Hmmm. I just realized, you and I
will be the only single ones there from the family,” Mom said. “We can compete
for the bouquet. We’ll just be two old spinsters together.”

“Actually, I’m bringing my new
boyfriend, Brian.”
I am?
Is
he
my boyfriend? How many dates does it take to make a boyfriend?
It seemed
early in their relationship. (Did they even have a relationship? Where was the
line that demarcated the border crossing from “just dating” to “in a
relationship?” Had they passed it? No one had asked for her passport. She was
pretty sure her papers were not in order. They’d had the “let’s be exclusive”
discussion regarding sex. But, did that conversation also mean he qualified as
her boyfriend? She figured it sort of did, but thought she’d ask Helen for a
ruling.) And was she really going to ask him to travel cross-country with her,
for cross-examination by Mom? “I mean, if he’s not already going home for
Thanksgiving.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were dating
someone.”

Maggie told her a bit about Brian,
then made up an excuse to hang up. She hadn’t really been ready to talk to Mom
about dating. It just came out.

After she hung up she wondered if
she should ask Brian. It would be nice to have someone there with her. It was
going to be odd to see her family without Dave. Except for Kevin, none of them
had seen her single since she was a teenager. Dave had been such a long-term
fixture in her life. She thought if she went alone they’d all be feeling sorry
for her in her new sans-Dave state; looking at her as if she’d lost a limb.

She appalled herself. Had she just
thought of Brian as nothing more than Dave-filler? Human-Spackle to fill up the
hole in her personal life?

No, that’s not it, she reasoned.
I really do like him. I’m not just trying to plug a hole...

She needed to think seriously, and
quickly, about inviting him. Thanksgiving weekend flights would fill up fast.
If she was going to ask him, she’d need to do it soon.

Pro: I’ll have
a date; con: he might read too much into it. No
. She shook her head.
Stop it. Go with the flow. Besides, I’m in too good of a mood
today; I’m not going to worry about it... at least, not today
. In her
best Scarlett O’Hara voice she said aloud, “I’ll think about that ‘tamarra.’”
She got up, intending to flounce out of the room, but, before she could even
learn that flouncing really only works in a hoop skirt, she stopped in her
tracks. She’d put her bare foot down in a puddle of what, judging by its
viscosity, could only be dog drool.

Ewwww
.
She peg-legged her way to the kitchen for a paper towel.
Scarlett
never had these problems
.

She thought about how Scarlett
could have benefited from a dog. After all, nobody but Rhett really understood
her. A dog would have been a good friend. A dog would have advocated her
I’m-not-going-to-worry way of thinking, and been fully supportive of that
I’ll-never-be-hungry-again stuff.

~~~

“Down to the last thing on the To
Do list. Can you come by Saturday a.m. and help fix the fence?” Maggie emailed
Russell from work on Thursday. Her realtor had said the house looked great, but
suggested Maggie fix the back fence (where Kona had tried to tunnel under to
eat the neighbor’s cat) so that the place would be picture perfect for the Open
House a week from Sunday. “Tried to fix it myself, but need a power saw. I
already bought the boards. Shouldn’t take long. You have a saw, yes? Hate to
bug you again, but can you come by??”

She should have called, but email
was easier when you were feeling a little guilty. For one thing, he’d already
helped her with several projects and she didn’t want to take advantage. She’d
tried to hire a handyman this time, but the first one never called back and the
second stood her up. It had led to another career idea: a handyman business
that catered to single women. She’d pictured herself in tool belt and safety
goggles.
That would probably be really popular. I could be
my own boss. And if it really took off I could franchise it... Of course, I
have no interest in home repair. OK, keep thinking
.

She’d also asked Brian if he owned
a saw. He’d chuckled and said, “Yes, it’s right here, next to my jackhammer and
steel-toed boots.” So, she didn’t have much choice but to ask Russell. Besides,
she also needed to talk to him about skipping their Sunday ride, which was the
other reason she felt guilty. But she could at least do that in person. Nice; ask
the man to give up his Saturday morning, then tell him you’re blowing him off
on Sunday, she thought as she hit send.

A few hours later he replied: “Got
the tools and the talent. I’m in San Fran right now. (Just closed a big sale
for a new clinic here!) But I’m flying back this afternoon. So, 9:30 tomorrow? I’ll bring donuts to celebrate the end of the To Do list.”

Saturday, he was on her doorstep
with a circular saw under his arm, his red metal box full of tools in one hand
and a small white cardboard one full of donuts in the other.

“That won’t take any time at all,”
he said when she showed him the chewed fence. “Let’s eat first. I’m starving.”
Maggie was hungry, too, having just come from working out with Helen.

Maggie had made coffee and they
carried their mugs and donuts outside. It was a sunny day, but cool under the
covered patio. Kona followed along as though an invisible cord led from the
cardboard box to his nose.

“I haven’t eaten a donut in
forever,” Maggie said. The glossy surface of the chocolate frosting splintered
like cracks on an ice-covered lake as she picked up her selection. “Going to
undo all the good I did at the gym.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Russell
swallowed a bite of jelly donut, parentheses of powder at the corners of his
mouth. “We can work these off on our ride tomorrow.”

“About that... I can’t make it.”
Brian had invited her to a play that night and, since she’d had to leave the
last time because of Kona, he’d told her to bring the dog along and spend the
night. He’d been very understanding about the fact that she felt uncomfortable
having him over to her house.

“Why not? You and Brian going away
or something?”

“No, we’re just going to a play
tonight, and then... ya’ know, I’m gonna spend the night.” She tore a chunk off
the bottom of her donut and tossed it to Kona who swallowed it without so much
as a single chew.

“So what? Get your butt out of bed
tomorrow and come biking with me.”

“I can’t jump out of bed and say, ‘Gotta
go. Things to do. People to see.’”

“Why not?”

“Well, I don’t want to. And... I
think that’s sort of rude.”

“It’s not rude. I do it all the
time.” He finished his jelly donut and wiped his mouth with his napkin before
reaching for a cruller.

“I know you do. You explained the
whole stupid ‘Twelve-Hour Rule’ thing to me.”

He glowered at her; it was the same
face her mother had made when Maggie admitted she didn’t go to church anymore.
“The Twelve-Hour Rule is a time-honored, tried and tested system. It’s not
stupid.”

“Whatever. Look, tonight’s the
first time I’m spending the night and I’m not leaving early. I promise I’ll try
to make it from now on, but not tomorrow, OK?” She closed the box of donuts and
stood up. “Come on, let’s get to work.”

Russell whistled
Oh What a Beautiful Morning
while they carried his tools
across the grass and set up shop next to the fence under the warm sun. White
clouds streaked in thin wisps across the deep blue sky, as if a child had taken
a swipe with the broad side of his chalk.

“I’m surprised you know the music
from
Oklahoma
,” Maggie said.

“What are you talking about?”

“
Oklahoma
.
The musical.” He stared at her. “You’re whistling the opening song.”

“I don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout no
musicals. It’s just something my grandma used to sing all the time.” Maggie
knew Russell had lived with his grandmother for several years after his parents
went through a nasty divorce when he was ten. “She taught me lots of things
that I was too stupid to appreciate at the time. She’s the one that taught me
to knit. She was a great lady.” He looked up at the sky. “I miss you, Grandma.”

She smiled as he belted out the
first few lines of the song while they took down the old boards.

While they used them to measure and
cut the new ones, Maggie mentioned how excited she was about Kevin’s news. She
hadn’t had a chance yet to talk to Russell about the wedding, other than a
short email exchange earlier in the week. He agreed, saying he couldn’t wait to
go to Boston.

“Kev tells me you’re going to be
Mr. Minister. Is that... legit?” She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She
and Dave had been married in the church, but that was back when she still felt
some small connection to the religion she’d been raised in. She could
understand Kevin’s choice of a civil ceremony, but having a friend play
minister-for-a-day didn’t seem right.

“It’s legit. I Googled it. For Massachusetts,
it’s fine to have a friend perform the ceremony. I downloaded the application
from the Governor’s office. It’s twenty-five bucks and then I get a one-day
license to—what was the word?—solemnize the wedding. Cool, huh?”

“Super cool,” Maggie said, dead
pan. “So, solemnize... as in ‘to be solemn.’ You’re not going to be cracking
jokes and whatnot, are you?”

“No, I am not going to upstage my
best friend’s wedding. I can
be
solemn.”

“OK... For Annie’s sake, I hope
so.” She tried to lighten her voice and changed the subject. “Anyway, you’ll
get to meet the rest of our family. You’ll love my grandma.”

They talked for a while about her
family and the trip. He asked if she planned to bring Brian.

“Not sure.” She’d asked Helen’s
opinion that morning at the gym. Helen had said, “What would Kona do?” and
Maggie had said he’d obviously go for it. Kona always preferred to travel in a
pack. On the phone last Sunday, Shannon had also voted in favor of Brian being
invited. She wanted to meet Maggie’s younger man. When Maggie had emailed Kevin
about it, he’d replied, “Sure, bring him. The more the merrier.”

“We haven’t been dating that long,”
she continued. “If the wedding was here in town it would be no big deal, but
asking him to fly across the country and meet my whole family and, on top of
that, not spend Thanksgiving with
his
family...
Seems a bit much, don’t you think?”