What the Duke Desires (18 page)

What he wanted was a large tumbler of brandy and a warm bath. More to the point, he wanted Lillian if only he could manage to convince her to join him in those other pleasures.

He opened the door to the library, intent on calling for her. But he came to a stop when he stepped inside and spied Rhys and Anne sitting together beside the fire. His best friend’s face was pinched, but Anne lifted her chin with a genuine smile as he entered.

“Hello,” he said, closing the door behind him. “I wasn’t informed you were waiting for me.”

When the pair did not reply, he tilted his head and speared Rhys with a stare. “You
are
waiting for me, aren’t you?”

Anne pushed to her feet and crossed the room with both hands held out. As she reached Simon, she pressed a kiss to each cheek.

“Of course we are, dearest Simon. We wanted to congratulate you on your engagement.”

“Anne,” Rhys said, his sharp tone making Anne wince before she turned on her fiancé.

“Don’t make this more difficult,” she said softly. “Simon is your best friend.”

Suddenly Rhys was on his feet. “And that is why I won’t stand by and let this travesty happen. Not without offering my assistance.”

He moved toward Simon with an intense focus in his eyes.

“You do not have to do this,” Rhys said softly.

Simon smiled. “But I will.” He clapped a hand on Rhys’s shoulder. “And I do not desire an escape, though I appreciate your offer of one. I know it is kindly meant. But I hope you’ll never make it again.”

Rhys’s eyebrows arched. “Truly?”

Anne moved closer now. “Look at him, Waverly. I don’t think he is saying this out of duty. Let it go.”

Rhys pursed his lips, and Simon could actually see the capitulation on his friend’s face.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

Rhys shook his head in disbelief before he said, “You realize Anne and I are leaving this afternoon, just as we originally planned.”

“Ah, yes,” Simon said, grateful for the reminder, for he had forgotten that fact. “The wedding is so close now. Who would have thought I might beat you to the altar?”

Anne smiled. “You’ll marry upon your return, then?”

He nodded. “As soon as the special license is procured we will take our vows.”

Rhys shifted. “We could delay our departure if you require my assistance.”

“Great God, no!” Simon laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of keeping you here when you have so much to do. I will send word when we arrive in London. Perhaps you’ll stand up for me, just as I hope to still stand up for you.”

Rhys tilted his head, as if the idea that there was any other choice was foreign to him. “You know I will.”

Simon smiled. So much for utter snobbery.

“We must hurry along, then, if we hope to depart amidst the crush of upset debutantes.” Rhys sighed. He moved toward the door, but Anne held back a moment.

She took Simon’s hands and squeezed them.

“Be happy,” she whispered, being sure that Rhys could not hear her. “We have so few chances at love. You deserve it if you can find it.”

She released him and turned, but not before Simon saw a look of sadness on her face when she moved toward her fiancé. It was then Simon recognized that Anne was in love with his friend, a man bent on marrying for position, not passion.

He frowned as the two departed. He hadn’t expected to be so troubled by Rhys and Anne’s farewell, but he was left feeling sad. And resolved to do as Anne had suggested. Try to be happy with the future that had been laid out before him.

And yet, when she thought of marrying the man, it wasn’t terror that filled her. It wasn’t guilt, although that emotion waited just below the surface since he did not yet know the truth of why she had come here.

No, when she pictured being by Simon’s side forever…it was pleasure that came to the front of her mind. A peaceful happiness that she shoved aside with all her might.

There was nothing to be happy about!

“This is a colossal mess,” Gabby said as she stomped into the room.

Lillian turned on her friend and just barely resisted the urge to hug Gabby for reminding her of the bare facts of this situation. She could not be joyful. She had to see the truth.

“Yes,” she agreed far too slowly. “It is not the way I planned.”

Gabby’s eyes went wide. “Well, I should hope not, Lillian! I would hope you would not be capable of such treachery, such
duplicity
as to seduce a man you are bound to destroy. To marry him so you could further access secrets which aren’t even his.”

Lillian’s lips parted as she realized Gabby wasn’t actually defending her. She was asking her a question. Her friend was wondering if that, indeed, was what she had done.

“Do not think so low of me,” she pleaded as she lurched forward and caught Gabby’s hands. “Please, you are one of the few friends I have and I cannot have you think such of me. Today I decided…there will be no revenge.”

Gabby stopped and stared at her. “Because you will wed him?”

She shook her head. “No. I decided before that. You were right all along, my dearest friend. I should have listened to you.”

Her friend’s smile was brief but soundly triumphant.

Lillian did not return it. “We talked today and I understand more about what Simon is facing. I realized I cannot make him suffer for something someone else did. At least, no more than he already is. It would do neither of us any good, nor would it change either of our circumstances.”

“I’m so glad.” Gabby grabbed for her hand. “But Lillian…do you—do you think you’ll be happy?”

She froze. “I don’t know. I have such hope that I could be, but I fear the future still. It was one thing to keep the truth about my motives a secret when we were surely to part in a few days and never meet again. But now I’ll be his wife. I must tell Simon what my true intentions were when I arrived here. I must reveal all to him. If I don’t it will hang over us like a guillotine, coloring everything we do and say. And when the truth comes out, it will only be worse.”

Gabby’s face softened and she wrapped her arms around Lillian. They stood that way for a long moment before Lillian sighed.

“What will I do, Gabby?”

Her friend pulled away and paced the floor to the window. “I overheard the dowager duchess speaking to my aunt when I was downstairs.”

Lillian winced. “She must be murderous.”

“She didn’t sound pleased, I can tell you that much,” her friend said with a grim nod. “But there is little she can do after such a public display. Apparently we’re to stay here until Simon obtains the special license, which shall take a few days. Then we will all travel to London as a group and you shall be married there. It seems all the Billingham brides are married in the same church, and Lady Billingham doesn’t want that changed for fear of even more talk.”

A shudder worked its way through Lillian and she sank into the closest chair. “While that is all very good information to have, it isn’t exactly what I meant when I asked what I shall do.”

Gabby smiled sadly. “I know. But since the wedding is in such short order, perhaps there is no hurry in telling Simon the truth. You imply he already has much to consider, and now there is the scandal of your engagement on top of it. In time, you’ll find the right words to say.”

Lillian considered her friend’s statement. It offered her a lifeline. She could wait just a short while to reveal the truth, perhaps she could find a way to do it and cause the least amount of hurt.

“Perhaps you are right. A few more weeks can’t really make things worse, can they?”

Gabby nodded, but Lillian could see the hesitation in her eyes. It reflected her own and she turned away from it.

“Well, I should return downstairs. My poor aunt is mightily confused by all these happenings and I’d like to reassure her.”

With a nod, Lillian stared as her friend stepped outside and left her alone in the chamber. She turned to look at her reflection in the mirror and gave a long sigh. She looked as haggard as she felt.

“There are so many lies,” she whispered. “So many secrets, both mine and his father’s. Could a marriage built on those things really stand the test of time?”

She didn’t know the answer, but for the first time she acknowledged, if only to herself, that she wanted that to be true. Desperately and with enough passion that it frightened her.

But a new day had dawned with only a slight improvement in the dowager’s mood. Lillian thought perhaps Simon had said something to his mother, for at least now she occasionally engaged with Gabby’s aunt, but as for Lillian…well, the lady was behaving as if she wasn’t in the room at all.

Except to send her dark and hateful looks from time to time.

Of course, she sent an equal number of looks toward the door and they were far less cruel and more anticipatory. Today Simon’s sister and the dowager’s only other child, Lady Westford, was to arrive, and it seemed Her Grace was actually excited to see her.

That fact surprised Lillian. When she looked at Lady Billingham, all she saw was a frigid woman, so embittered by life that she couldn’t even summon love or friendliness to her own son. But here she was, practically bouncing with delight every time she so much as looked at the door through which her daughter would enter in a short time.

Suddenly the butler appeared in the entryway. Before he had even spoken, the duchess was on her feet, hands clasped in front of her.

“Lady Westford has arrived,” he intoned, then stepped aside to allow a very pretty woman to move into the room.

Lillian rose to her feet and watched as the newcomer crossed to her mother and embraced her.

“Mama!” she said, her voice filled with joy.

The dowager was completely transformed, her smile wide and genuine and her hands trembling as she returned her daughter’s hug with a heartfelt one of her own.

“Dearest,” she breathed as she clung to her child. “How glad I am that you are finally here.”

Lillian’s stomach clenched at the scene before her and she found herself turning her face away, an unwanted outsider to the love of mother and daughter.

God, how she wished she could have that kind of reunion. How she hated that she never could.

As if he sensed her longing, suddenly Simon was beside her. She jumped as he rested a comforting hand on the small of her back while they waited for the two women to part. It seemed he could read her body language. Thankfully, he couldn’t read her thoughts, or else he would be privy to the intense hatred she felt for his father at present.

She forced a smile for him.

“Don’t be nervous,” Simon whispered as his sister broke away from their mother and turned toward the two of them. “She is as kind as she is beautiful.”

Shaking away her dark thoughts, Lillian stared at the lady who was now walking toward them. If Simon’s statement was true, then Naomi would be the depth of compassion, for she was as lovely a woman as any Lillian had seen.

Despite the fact that she was six years older than her brother and had borne two children of her own, Lady Westford could have easily been mistaken for a woman in her debut year. Her brown hair had not a streak of gray in it and was full and lustrous. Her eyes, a warm brown more like her mother’s than Simon’s remarkable jade, were bright and filled with good humor and intelligence. And her skin…well, Lillian knew of women in their circles who would quite possibly kill for such flawless perfection.

She looked everything a lady should, and Lillian couldn’t help but tense as she stopped before the two of them. Would Naomi hate Lillian as her mother did? Would she blame Lillian for “entrapping” her brother into such a poor match?

But she seemed to do neither. After an appraising moment, Naomi launched herself at her brother, giving him a loving hug that Lillian couldn’t help but smile over. There was some relief in seeing that Simon hadn’t been ostracized by everyone in his family.

“My dearest,” Naomi said as she pulled back to look at him again. “Oh, you do look well. Happier than I have seen you in an age.”

Then the other woman turned on her and Lillian held out a trembling hand. Naomi ignored it and instead she hugged Lillian just as tightly and warmly as she had her own brother. Lillian hesitated a moment in shock, but then put her arms around her future sister.

“I assume his happiness has to do with you. Mother sent word along the road that you two were to marry. A most felicitous union to you both. I’m very happy for you.”

She withdrew, and there wasn’t a hint of censure or sarcasm in Naomi’s eyes as she looked from one to the other, though Lillian had little doubt as to how the dowager had stated their engagement in her missive. And yet Lady Westford was like Simon. She hadn’t taken her mother’s side immediately, but was willing to give Lillian a chance to prove herself.

Shame filled her at the thought.

“Thank you, my lady,” Lillian managed.

“Posh,” Lady Westford said as she briefly touched her cheek. “We are to be sisters. You shall call me Naomi and I shall call you Lillian. My husband has no sisters of his own so you are my first and I am quite thrilled at the prospect. I’m convinced we will cause all kinds of trouble together.”

Lillian couldn’t help but join in Naomi’s laugher.

“I think for now we shall avoid trouble. I don’t think I could bear any more surprises at present,” Simon said with a wink in Lillian’s direction that made her stomach clench with nerves and just a hint of desire. Then he took his sister’s arm. “Now let me introduce you to our other guests.”

Naomi let out a small sound of distress and clasped Lillian’s hand. Simon’s response was a laugh.

“You will have plenty of time to acquaint yourself with my fiancée later. Come.”

Naomi gave her hand a quick squeeze and then she allowed her brother to lead her away. Lillian watched, her heart growing heavier with each of her future sister-in-law’s warm smiles for Gabby and her aunt.

Gabby caught Lillian’s eye. For a moment, concern darkened her face. She quietly excused herself and made her way across the room. When she reached Lillian, Gabby slipped an arm through hers.

“You seem out of sorts. But Lady Westford likes you, she is nothing like her mother.”

Lillian nodded, the action jerky. “Yes. She’s more like Simon, and I admit that my first reaction is to adore her. However, I am increasingly troubled by my lack of honesty with this family. Here she is welcoming me into her life and I—”

She cut herself off as she found the dowager duchess watching her through narrowed eyes. Almost
knowing
eyes, as if she recognized Lillian for a fraud and was just waiting for the right moment to prove it.

With a shiver she turned away. Gabby shot a glance at Lady Billingham and then slipped an arm around her shoulders.

“Simon is already beginning to understand more and more about his father. What you tell him later won’t be a total shock to him.”

“But the lie will,” Lillian murmured.

“It may take time, but I think they will all come to understand your motives eventually,” Gabby whispered.

“I hope so,” Lillian replied as she felt Lady Billingham’s stare still burning at her back. “Either way, at least his mother will be pleased. I shall prove her right that I was unworthy all along. How she will crow at that.”

She could only pray that Simon would understand as Gabby had said he might. The idea of facing his reaction was becoming harder to take.