What The Heart Knows (20 page)

But
it wouldn't be right.

She
whimpered, leaning forward and resting her head against his shoulder.
There wasn't a hesitation as his hands went up and around her,
pulling her tightly against him. They stood that way for a long time,
Emily taking comfort, Dane offering it without having to be asked.

“You
know...” he said after a long time. “I have a full summer
of Boy Scouts under my belt,” he said, sounding light and
silly. “I'm really good at untying knots.”

Emily
laughed, a unexpected burst of giggles into the side of his neck,
bringing tears to her eyes.

Dane
grabbed her shoulders, moving her a few inches from his body,
reaching up and wiping the happy tears from her cheeks. “Look,”
he said, leaning down to look her in the eye. “I'm here. I am
gonna con the bar into giving me my job back...”

“That
wont be hard,” Emily said, snorting. “that new kid they
have working the bar keeps cutting people off after two drinks. Eric
threw a fit earlier this year when he was trying to throw himself
into a bottle over Lena...”

“Wait,”
he said, holding his hands up to stop her. “Eric was throwing
himself into a bottle... over a woman?”

Emily
laughed, nodding. Dane and Eric had always been good friends, both
shameless bad boys and womanizers. “I know. Hard to believe,
right? She's some chick from the city. She was wound like a top when
she showed up here. But he's like head over heels for her now. She's
our baker.”

Dane
rubbed a hand over his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. “I
lived here for thirty-four fucking years and nothing interesting ever
happened. I leave for six months and the whole damn town turns upside
down.”

“You
should go see him. I think he missed you. And your little bromance
thing.”

Dane
laughed, giving her a familiar smile. “I will. I need to see
this woman who was able to cut off his balls. But look,” he
said, the smile dropping suddenly. “Like I said... I'm here.
I'll be here. Taking my bar back. Getting a new place. Catching up on
everything. I know you're not ready for me yet. But I'll be here. So
whenever you're ready...”

Emily
smiled oddly, turning her head slightly. “Are you telling me
you'll... wait for me?” she asked, sounding dangerously close
to laughing.

Dane
ducked his head, running a hand over the back of his neck. “I
guess I am.”

She
squinted her eyes at him. “What happened to you in California?”
she asked. She looked at him, shaking her head again. “Okay. I
need coffee,” she said, opening the door and practically
running into the hallway.

What
kind of twilight zone had she stepped into? Had they driven into a
wormhole or something on the way back from the lodge? Hell, on the
way to the lodge? Because that was the only possible explanation for
what was going on in her life.

In
all honesty, she thought Dane was gone for good. A week after he had
left, she had gone to his apartment to collect a few items of clothes
she had left there only to find the entire place empty. Everything
was gone from the pots and pans in the kitchen to the furniture. She
had found her clothes neatly folded on the kitchen counter though.

He
had been thinking about leaving for a long time before he had
actually decided to go. She had been working under the assumption
that he had just made a spontaneous decision to head out, do some
exploring. Something she didn't even really blame him for. She had
understood that even if she
felt
a little betrayed.

But
the planning had sent her into wronged woman mode.

Because
he should have told her. No matter how convoluted their strange
relationship got, they were always supposed to be friends underneath
it all. He was supposed to talk about her about stuff like that.
About feeling antsy. About feeling the need to flee.

If
they didn't even have the friendship... what was the point?

No
one had heard from Dane either. His family had scattered over the
years, his siblings off to the city, his parents down to the warmth
and easy winters of Florida. Emily had been the one who had to tell
everyone he was gone. Had tried to field the questions. But she
didn't have the answers.

The
last thing she had expected was for him to blow back into town. Just
when she had stopped wishing she could call him after a bad day, or
tell him something crazy that happened in town. Just when she had
smoothed over the tattered edges.

Just
when she had started to... what? Like someone else? Was that what it
was? Because there had been other guys. Dates. A fling or two. Little
nothings.

It
was like exes had new feelings radar. They always popped up when they
sensed another cock in the hen house. Ready and happy to throw more
complications into an already messy situation. Yeah, exes were really
good at that.

Emily
pushed into the kitchen to find Meggie standing there waiting.
“Jesus,” she said, grabbing her chest.

“Spill,”
Meggie demanded, looking like she wasn't going to be deterred.

“Dane
is back,” she started with, knowing she was just trying to
skate around the issue Meggie really wanted to talk about. Knowing it
would work.

Meggie's
mouth fell comically open. “Wait... what?”

“Yeah.
He's in my room right now.”

Meggie
looked around the room for a second, fighting the frustration, the
confusion, the feelings she had regarding Dane because of loyalty to
her friend. “Alright... what the actual hell?”

“I
know,” Emily said, going toward the coffee pot. “He's
talking about how he is going to get his job at the bar back, get an
apartment... and... um... wait for me.”

“Dane?
This is DANE we are talking about here, right?”

“Yup.”

Meggie
looked at Emmy and in her best eery voice sang, “Do do dodo, do
do dodo...”

Emily
threw her head back and laughed. That about summed it up alright.

–

James
went back to the paperwork with determination to find, like Emily had
so emotionally demanded, any other explanation for the discrepancies.
The absolute last thing he wanted to do was make her feel the way she
had felt when he had first brought it up. She had looked like she was
going to break. Strong, force of nature Emily looked like she might
just splinter into a million pieces.

He
wasn't sure he could take it if that happened. He didn't want to be
the source of that kind of hurt. Betrayal. The messenger of news he
could never forgive him for bringing to her attention.

He
went through the papers. He went through the computers. He called the
insurance company. He called the bank where the money for the inn was
deposited. And that was where he found the proof. Withdrawals from
the account. That shouldn't be there.

He
sat at the desk for a long time, his face in his hands, trying to
find some way to tell her again without her feeling like her world
was collapsing around her. Like she could never blindly trust her
friends again.

Eventually,
he gathered all the bank statements, the papers, the everything. He
took a deep
breath.
There really was no good way to tell her. There was no way that
wasn't going to hurt. So he just needed to tell her and get it over
with and deal with the consequences.

It
wasn't her fault. And he had met all the employees himself. There was
no one he would have pegged as a thief. Everyone seemed to love the
inn and was personally invested in making it be the best it could be.
He couldn't imagine it was Meggie or Dev or Alec. But they also
couldn't cross anyone off the list.

He
stood outside her door for a long time, trying to get the nerve to
knock. He needed to get a grip. This was work. This was what he was
brought in to do. Check the books. Find where the money was going.
Seeing what they could do to help free up some capitol. This was not
about Emily and her feelings. This was not about being the bad guy.
He was the boss. He had to inform her that this issue needed to be
fixed. No matter what it took.

But
he couldn't untangle the issue from the woman. Because she was the
inn. The inn was her. These people were a part of her. And he wasn't
the kind of person who could be so cold to tell her to just suck it
up and fire her staff. He couldn't be that guy.

He
lifted his hand and knocked twice before he could talk himself out of
it, convince himself they could just ignore the issue.

The
door opened a long time later, and everything James had been thinking
flew away. Because there was a man in her room. A half naked,
barefooted man in her room.

James
was comfortable enough with his sexuality to admit the guy was good
looking. Dangerous. Bad boy material. He was the kind of man they
wrote romance novels about. He was the exact kind of man he could
picture Emily with.

And
there he was in Emily's room.

“Hey,”
the man said after waiting a moment for James to speak.

James
shook his head, taking a breath. Well. That settled things, didn't
it?

“Hey,”
he said, holding out the pile of paperwork in his hand. The man took
it, looking curiously from it to him. “Tell Emily that this is
the proof she wanted,” he said, already moving away from the
doorway. That was that. It was settled.

“Wait,”
the man called, stepping into the hallway. “who do you want me
to tell her came by?”

“She'll
know,” James said, turning and walking away. Slowly.
Deliberately. Not like he was running.

But, fuck, he was running.

Seventeen

“What
do you mean he checked out?” Emily asked Devon later that night
after she had shooed Dane into an empty room upstairs. After she and
Meggie had a long talk. After she took a walk in the woods and
cleared her head a little bit.

Devon
shrugged an apologetic shoulder. “He checked out.”

“Like
he is saving the room still but needed to go away on business for a
few weeks?”

“No,”
Dev said, sighing a little. “No. He's like... gone gone. He
took all his stuff and he paid his bill.”

“What
did he say?”

“He
didn't say much. He said he was going home.”

“He
doesn't have a home,” Emily shot back.

“Well
then I guess he's... I don't know.”

Emily
watched the concern on Devon's face and found herself pulling herself
up straighter, making her face impassive. “Well,” she
said, sounding chipper. “this is good. This was what we wanted:
him out of our hair. Now things can go back to normal.”

“Right,”
Dev said, raising a brow, looking at her like she may have just lost
her mind.

“Okay,”
Emily said, reaching to straighten the items on the desk. “This
is good. I'm gonna go grab his linens so we can get that room ready
as soon as possible. We should start getting reservations for the
holiday soon.”

“Mmhmm,”
Dev agreed, watching her flit around the room like she used to.
Before James had showed up. He wondered if she even realized how calm
she had been around him.

Emily
sprinted up the stairs, opening the door to his room and going
straight to the bed and pulling the blankets off onto the floor. She
walked deliberately around the room, grabbing towels, straightening
things that had been pushed out of place. She opened the closet and
froze. There hanging inside was the sweatshirt he had been wearing
when they had hooked up. The one he had bought at the lodge gift
shop.

Without
thinking, she felt herself reaching for it, pulling it to her chest
and burying her face in it. She sank slowly to the floor, a crack
starting in her chest, feeling the sensation she had been dreading.
The sensation that forced her to try to pretend it was no big deal,
that this was a good thing.

It
was the feeling of the parts of him slipping away.

It
was the realization that she would never feel that way again.

She
closed her eyes tight, trying to keep the tears from coming. They
wouldn't help. They would make it too easy to lay around and wallow
for something that was never hers to lose in the first place.