What We May be (3 page)

“So what exactly is it that you do?” Rick asked.

Jared answered without turning around. “I’m a designer. I love clothes. That was most of the reason I modeled.”

“You modeled?”

“Yeah, that’s how I knew Leo.”

It hadn’t even occurred to Rick to ask before now, though it made sense, considering how good-looking Jared was. Leo 18

WHAT WE MAY BE

hadn’t talked much about his modeling days, and when he did, it had been with a distinct nostalgia that usually brought another bout of depression. Rick had done everything in his power to distract Leo from those kinds of thoughts. Leo had had enough dealing with his failing health there at the end.

“I’m not anywhere near where I want to be yet,” Jared was saying. “But it’s coming.” He waved a long hand toward the mess behind them. “All this is because I got invited to a show at the last minute. I had to get the supplies I needed in order to actually have enough things for the models to wear.”

“I guess I never thought of it before. I don’t really care too much about clothes.”

His announcement brought a double take from Jared, but after a moment, the other man shrugged. “I guess if I was stuck in a uniform all day, I’d probably not think about it too much either.”

Rick frowned. “I don’t have to wear a uniform. Well, not since I went into home practice anyway.”

“Don’t bodyguards have to blend into the background?”

“What makes you think I’m a bodyguard?”

Jared froze in mid-reach for a cupboard door. Slowly, he turned and swept an assessing gaze over Rick’s seated form, his brows drawing closer and closer together with every inch.

“You were working security at the dinner, weren’t you?”

“Nooooo,” Rick said carefully. “I
organized
the dinner.

I’m an RN. I provide home healthcare for people with AIDS

and HIV.”

Understanding dawned in Jared’s eyes. “You took care of 19

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Leo.”

“For the last year of his life. I lived with him for the last two months when he needed round the clock care.”

The mood had shifted, Jared slightly wary now and definitely less excited about his presence. Rick didn’t know if that had to do with the fact that he’d nursed Leo, or not been the macho cop ideal Jared seemed to have thought he was getting. Either way, he wasn’t entirely pleased with the change.

“I didn’t realize you were so close to Leo,” Jared said quietly. He turned back to the cupboard and resumed his preparations for the coffee. “I’m sorry.”

“No reason to apologize. I thought you knew.”

Jared shook his head. “I haven’t actually seen Leo in years.

I knew he’d quit modeling because of the AIDS, but I didn’t know anything else until I found out he’d died.” He seemed intent on not looking at Rick now, focusing on the task at hand with even more diligence than before. “And no offense, but you
really
don’t look like a nurse.”

This brought a small smile to Rick’s lips. “I know. You wouldn’t be the first guy put off by what I do.”

His head snapped around. “I didn’t say I was put off. It just took me by surprise.”

“So you’re not just making the coffee to be polite?” Better to be open about it now. They were both grown men. Busy, too. They didn’t have time to fuck around.

“No. Absolutely not.” Rick caught a wicked glint in his eyes before losing sight of Jared’s face altogether as he 20

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reached for the pot. “The only time I’m polite is when my parents are watching. And then, only when they’re sober enough to remember.”

Rick laughed at his irreverent words, relaxing back into his chair. “As long as we’re clear.”

“Oh, we’re clear. I’m crystal, you know. What you see is what you get.” He grinned as he set the steaming cups down on the table and lounged in the chair opposite Rick. His long legs slid under the table to nudge against Rick’s calves. “It’s one reason why I’m so obsessed with the way I look all the time.”

He waved off the sugar and milk Jared pushed toward him.

“I’ll remember that for next time.”

Jared’s jewel green eyes fixed on him, his lips soft and wet where he’d just licked them. “You think there’s going to be a next time already?” The toe of his shoe rubbed along the back of Rick’s leg, sending shocks straight up to his ass.

He didn’t look away. “Let’s say I think there’s a very good chance of it.” Lifting his cup, he added, “To Leo. For giving us a chance to meet.”

Jared echoed his toast, and though the sound of their mugs meeting was drowned out by Theresa’s shout at one of the delivery men, the reverberations traveled through Rick’s fingers, into his palm, all the way to his gut. Everything about this man seemed to make him vibrate to an entirely new, and definitely not unwelcome, beat.

“So you organized the charity for Leo?” Jared asked without taking a sip from his coffee. “Does that mean you can 21

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tell me who had the T-shirt idea?”

“That was mine, actually. Well, mine and Leo’s. We thought it would represent solidarity if everyone was dressed the same. You know. Everybody united to fight this.”

“Do me a favor then, would you?” He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “Next time, call me and let me help pick it all out. The colors, the clothes, that kind of thing. Because honestly, the only one who looked good at that dinner was you. The rest of us looked like we should be hauling gear for a Radiohead concert.”

He could get addicted to the way Jared always made him laugh. “I’ll remember that. Though hopefully, I won’t be doing it again any time soon. Even with all the notes and arrangements Leo made, I still felt like my head was going to explode, all the way until people started arriving.”

“But it came off great. I wouldn’t have guessed it wasn’t a professional running the whole thing.” His sly grin returned.

“Except for the awful T-shirts, of course.”

“It did make a nice change from what I usually do.” He hadn’t expected it would be this easy to talk to Jared. They’d flirted well enough at the charity dinner, but this was a bona fide conversation. Jared was more than coming through on his promise. “I love my job, but it’s ballbusting work a lot of the time.”

Jared finally took a drink of his coffee, his bright eyes thoughtful. “A nurse. I still can’t believe it. I would have believed a lot of things before believing that. You could model, for instance.”

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His bark of laughter was cut short when he realized Jared wasn’t kidding. “Not me,” he said with a shake of his head.

“I’ve got two left feet.”

“Trust me. Nobody’s looking at your feet.”

“It still means being in front of a lot of people, getting stared at.” Rick gave a short shake of his head. “Not my style.”

“Maybe not. But that doesn’t mean they won’t stare anyway.”

Like Jared was doing now. Pinning Rick to his chair with only the strength of his attention, the rising desire in his eyes.

The tremors that had taken up residence in his gut spread throughout his flesh, returning his arousal to full mast. He couldn’t leave now even if he wanted to. One look at him, and Jared would know exactly what Rick was thinking about.

So he sat there, trying not to fidget every time Jared shared a new innuendo, or nudged against his leg in a new spot, or just looked at him through his long lashes while he waited for Rick to respond to something he’d said. He’d hoped for some kind of added camaraderie on top of their attraction, but the way Jared made him laugh—hell, the way he made him totally forget time—was far more than he’d anticipated. Before he knew it, an hour had passed and they had gone through two pots of coffee, only stopping when a red-faced Theresa asked for Jared’s intervention.

“I should probably get going anyway,” Rick said, rising to his feet. “You’ve got work to do, and I’m holding you back.”

Jared stopped and frowned at him. “I’ll only be a second.”

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“Yeah, but this is my one day off and I should probably spend some time getting caught up on other things. Like grocery shopping and laundry.”

Waving Theresa off, Jared stepped closer, invading Rick’s space until the musky scent of his mouth-watering cologne filled Rick’s nose. “Does your schedule mean you can’t have dinner with someone dying to spend more time with you?”

The low pitch of his voice cascaded fresh tremors down Rick’s legs. He smiled. “I’d love that. As long as that someone is you.”

“Oh, it is. It most definitely is.” Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a business card and slid it into the front pocket of Rick’s jeans. His long fingers grazed along the side of Rick’s erection before pulling out, and Rick had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from moaning out loud. “That’s got my home number on it, too. If I get too swamped down with stuff here today and you don’t hear from me, call me tomorrow so we can work out a date. The sooner the better.”

“The sooner the better.”

He left before he made a complete fool of himself, but on the stairwell, Rick stopped and leaned against the wall. Taking deep breaths, he steadied his racing heart, thinking the unsexiest thoughts he could in a vain attempt to will away his erection. Nothing worked. Every time he managed to conjure an image that would kill his desire, Jared’s long hands and longer body showed up to shove it out of the way. The only way to get rid of his arousal was to do something about it.

Maybe he’d do his grocery shopping online today.

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Jared was nervous. He didn’t know why. Well, he did know why, but he didn’t understand it. He’d been on a lot of dates in his lifetime. A lot. Enough to make him feel mildly promiscuous when he stopped for a second and actually thought about the numbers. He was an old pro at this. He’d dated models, playboys, athletes. He’d dated old and young.

He’d once dated a contortionist who worked with the Cirque du Soleil in Vegas, just because the guy could suck his own dick. There was very little in this life that he thought he hadn’t seen or mastered.

But standing in front of Rick Paulson’s apartment door, ready to knock for their dinner date, made his palms sweat.

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It was actually a little surprising how much effort it took to coordinate their schedules. Jared was a pretty busy guy, but nothing like his current workload. It figured that the one man he was dying to get his hands on would show up at the worst possible time for his availability. And he didn’t understand Rick’s schedule at all. The man only got one day off a week.

He didn’t have an office he had to go into, yet he was gone at the weirdest times of the day.

“I’m on call for my terminals,” Rick had explained the third time they’d had to reschedule. “I have to be there. That’s my job.”

“No, no, that’s okay,” Jared had said. And it was. Mostly.

Except for the fact that the longer it took to actually set a date, the more he feared they’d never be able to hook up. It also left him wondering just what had been different about Leo since Rick had mentioned he’d lived with him the last few months of his life. But those were questions for a third or fourth date, not this one.

If he ever summoned the nerve to actually knock and start this one, that is.

He refrained from wiping his hand on his pants and spoiling the fabric. Instead, he slipped his hand inside the pocket and dried it there where it wouldn’t be seen, then knocked before his nerves failed him. Sliding his hand back into his pocket made him appear laidback by the time Rick opened the door, but the first sight of him made his body throb almost immediately.

Not because of what he wore. The black pants were off-26

WHAT WE MAY BE

the-rack and probably a smidge too tight across the thighs, while the light tan shirt was well-pressed but clearly a cotton blend. But it molded over Rick’s upper body like it had been made for him, the hint of darker blond hair on the man’s chest visible at the open collar. He’d rolled the sleeves up, too, exposing his strong forearms. Normally, Jared would’ve yelled at his models for doing that to a garment, especially since the wide cuffs were such the rage at the moment, but for Rick, he’d make an exception. The casual look accented one of Rick’s best attributes. That kind of fashion sensibility always trumped what might currently be on the runway.

Rick’s eyes darkened as they swept over Jared. He didn’t think for a second Rick knew he was wearing a Cavalli suit, but there was no mistaking the naked appreciation for how good Jared looked. After all, looking good was the one thing Jared knew how to do right.

“I’m almost afraid to ask where we’re going.” Rick ran his tongue over his lower lip, leaving it glistening by the time his eyes returned to Jared’s face. “Do I need to change?”

“Absolutely not.” Jared stepped back and out of the way, giving Rick plenty of room to come out and lock the door.

“I’ve got the cab waiting for us downstairs. Our dinner reservation is in half an hour, but we should have plenty of time to get there.”

“Where are we going?”

“Nobu.”

“Naboo? Someone named a restaurant after something from a crappy Star Wars movie?”

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Jared chuckled as they waited for the elevator. “No, Nobu.

The Japanese restaurant in Tribeca?” When Rick continued to stare at him blankly, his eyes widened. “You’ve never heard of Nobu?”

Rick’s shrug was almost embarrassed. “I’ve never had Japanese food, either.” An easy smile spread over his face.

“You still want to go out with such a peon?”

“Oh, you’re not getting rid of me that easy.” The doors whispered open, and they entered the empty car. As soon as they were descending, Jared risked reaching out and smoothing his palm over Rick’s chest. A muscle rippled, detectable even through the fabric, and the nipple visibly tightened until it stood out underneath the shirt. “Do you have any idea how sexy you are?”