What You Do To Me (Unexpected Love) (37 page)

When I finally
got out of the building,
I took
off, but
I had no clue where I was going. I knew I needed to stay
within
a
well-lit
area with lots of
people.
I didn’t know where the hotel was or if I wanted to go there now. I walked for
a while
and found a
24-hour
coffee shop open. I walked in and ordered a coffee. I sat down and pulled out my phone. There were missed calls, texts messages and voicemails from Derek, Alex and Sam. I didn’t want to read or listen to any of the messages. I dialed a number and waited. When someone picked up, it wasn’t the person I wanted to talk to. “Mom, is
Dad
home
,
I need to talk to him.”

             
“
Abby, baby,
what’s wrong?” I
felt
my throat tightening
and I
was fighting back the tears.

             
“I’m such an idiot. I can’t seem to do anything right and I am always letting the wrong people into my life. Why am I such an idiot?” I started to cry.

             
“Listen to
me.
You
are not an idiot and you do everything right. Look at those girls. You are a great mother. One of the best moms I know. Those girls are happy and well taken care
of.
I’m so proud of you and the job you are doing with them.” I
had
never heard her say any of
that
. I always
believed
that she thought I was a shitty mom.

             
“No I’m
not.
I’m giving them skin cancer remember.” I
said,
hoping
she’d
realize how shitty I
was
as a mom.

             
“
Please,
you
bathe
them in
sunscreen, so
they are fine. I’m sorry, I should have said it weeks ago. Abby,
you’re
strong and I was jealous. I shouldn’t have
been.
I should have
told you how  proud I am of you.
I am proud, but I should
have
acted better.”
I was
confused by
that
.

             
“What are you jealous of? The fact my husband ran around with everyone and it seems everyone
except
me knew, or the fact that the man I thought I was falling in love with clearly doesn’t feel the same way, or the fact that my girls are going to grow up and realize
their
mom is a complete head case. Tell me, which one of those things are you jealous of?”

             
“I’
m jealous of your strength. I’m jealous that when everything happened with
David,
you were strong and you didn’t need me or want me to help. You wanted to do everything on your own. I’m
jealous,
because I know if I was in your shoes, I couldn’t have done any of it. I wouldn’t have been able to continue working, I know caring for three girls would have pushed me to my limits and I sure as hell wouldn’t have had the strength to face people after finding out my husband was running around. You are tough; you are the one lone building standing after a tornado wipes out a town.” Tears
were
streaming down my face. I didn’t know any of this and
I was
now glad that she was telling me how she felt.

             
“But everything you’ve said. You hated David and I always felt like I was a
screw-up
to you.”

             
“I did hate David. I hated
David,
because I knew you deserved better and I felt like you settled. The love you deserve is from someone
who
would walk through fire for you, someone who needs you to get through their day, someone who can’t function without you and tells you
that
so you know you mean everything to them.
The same person who will fight for your love and do everything to keep it and not lose
it.
Abby,
I’m scared you’ll settle again and I don’t
want that for you or the girls.”
I was speechless.
Why
had she never said any of this
before?
“I’m sorry
about
how I treated you or the things I said. I was hoping my harshness would make you want to strive for more and I feel like I’m the reason you settled and never left David.”

             
“No, that was my entire
fault.
Nobody
can take the blame for me staying,
except
me. I wanted the
family.
I wanted what you and
Dad have,
and
I
thought that by staying I could give that to the girls. I
now
realize
that
I could have done that on my own without David.” My mom and I
talked
a little bit longer and I
felt
better, more at
peace,
even though my heart
was
hurting. I
ended
the phone call with my
mom,
because the beeping and buzzing of incoming calls and text messages
was
getting to be a big distraction. I
told
her I
loved
her and that I would call in the next couple of days. I told her I would get into the reason I really called then, but after the conversation
tonight,
I felt better and there was no reason to ruin it with my stuff.

             
When I
ended,
my phone immediately started vibrating with an incoming call from Lexi. After talking to my
mom,
I knew that I needed to make things
okay
with
her,
so I
decided
to
answer.
“Hey, long time no speak.”

             
“Not funny, are you
okay
, where are you? Derek called
me,
freaking
out,
hoping I talked to
you. He
said he
couldn’t
reach you and told me everything that happened tonight. Are you
okay
? Should I fly out?
Abby,
talk to me.”

             
“It would be easier to talk if you shut up.”

             
“Sorry, I’m worried though.” I
knew
Lexi really
was
worried about me and for her to call
was big
in
showing
that. Lexi
was
just as stubborn as I am.

             
“I’m
fine.
Well
I’m not
really.
My
heart hurts, but the good thing in all this
,
is my mom and I are
now
talking and
we
have come to an understanding.”

             
“What, did hell freeze over too?” I
could
hear the puzzled voice in
her
question. So I explain to Lexi
about
the conversation with my
mom,
stopping
only
to thank the
waitress for the refill of my coffee
.

             
“Wow, I’m glad that you guys are working towards a better place. Abbs, I’m
sorry.
I
should’ve
told you. I was wrong, but I thought I was protecting you.” I could hear the sadness in her voice when she said
that
.

             
“You were
right.
I wouldn’t have left. I would have stayed anyway and knowing would have eaten at me and destroyed me. I’m sorry for treating you so bad the last few days and for shutting you out. Do you know how many times I wanted to call you? I didn’t know what to do with myself on the drive here.” I could hear her
laughing.
If
anything
,
at least seeing Alex like that tonight fixed two important relationships in my life.

             
Lexi and I talked for a few minutes
longer and I promised to call her in the morning. I also promised her
that
I would call Derek as soon as I got off the phone, which I did. I
didn’t
even remember hearing it ring on my end and Derek was on the line. “Where are you, are you
okay
?
Why didn’t you come back to the hotel?”

             
“I’m getting better. I just walked and
honestly,
I’m not sure where I am. I’m in a coffee shop now. I’ll get a cab and have it take me to the hotel. Are you there?”

             
“Yeah, I came here looking for you.
God,
Abby,
I’ve
been
going out of my
goddamn
mind here. Why the fuck didn’t you answer the phone?”

             
“
Well,
this should make you
happy.
I was talking to my mother and then
to
Lexi.” There was a long pause before Derek spoke.

             
“Are you fucking with me?”

             
“No,
seriously,
I’ll tell you all about it when I get there. So something good came out of this shitty night.”

             
“Abby, I don’t think what you think was
happening
with Alex.
I don’t think he wanted that girl.” I
didn’t
want to talk about
it.
I
couldn’t, because
I
needed
to move on.

             
“You promised, I think I found my closure as harsh as it was, I found it, so please no more. I can’t take anymore.”

             
“
Okay
, done, so please comeback to the room.”

             
“On my way,
as soon as I
get a cab.” I hung up the phone and left a tip on the table. I asked the waitress if I nee
ded to call a cab or if they were
around. She told me
that
just around the
corner, there was
a
nightclub
and I could find them lined up o
utside. I left the shop, turned
the corner and climbed into a waiting cab.

             
When I arrived back at the J.W.
Marriott,
Derek was waiting for me in the lobby. He ran up and scooped me up in a hug, kissing me on the forehead. I embraced the hug, feeling the security in the hold.  “What do you want to do? It’s early or
late,
depending on how you look at things.”

             
“Can we just head to the room, order a bottle of wine or two and rent a movie? “ I was emotionally exhausted and felt like crap.
I was
sure I looked just as shitty from all the crying that occurred after seeing Alex.

             
“Sounds perfect,” Derek slung
his
arm over my shoulder and we headed to the elevators. Once we got to our
floor,
Derek seemed to tense up a bit.

             
“What is going
on?
Why
are you tense?”

             
Derek let out a sigh and I wasn’t sure what was wrong
, until he said,
“The oth
er suites on this floor belong to Alex
and the guys. As far as I
know,
Alex still doesn’t know you are staying here, but I don’t want to run into him in the hall.”

             
“
Christ,
Derek, why are we still here?” I
was
mad, but after my night, I ha
d
no energy left in me to fight.