Whatever It Takes (13 page)

“
I'll sleep on the couch and you can have the bed. We don't have a lot of time before school starts back to get to know one another. Are you up for some talking or are you ready for bed?”

“
I think I'll go to bed.”

“
Your pajamas are in the third drawer down.”

“
Thanks,” she calls over her shoulder as she disappears into our room.

I walk over to the closet and retrieve blankets and a pillow. I settle on the couch and close my eyes. An hour later and I'm still awake. Ever so softly, the sound of crying drifts to my ears. My first thought is that Emily may be having a nightmare. Would she still have them even though she has no recollection of the miscarriage?

I can't just sit here and listen to her cry. Tossing the covers aside, I silently walk to the bedroom. The door creaks open and the crying immediately stops.

“
Sweetness, are you okay?”

No answer. I come closer and sit on the edge at head of the bed. Emily is facing away from me. She rolls over and buries her face in my stomach. Tears quickly soak my shirt. I slide my hand up and down her back in an effort to calm her.

“
I'm sorry,” she cries.

“
For what?” I ask quietly.

“
I'm supposed to be your girlfriend and here I am crying over Conrad. I'm sorry I don't remember.”

“
Don't worry. Cry all you need. You survived. You were able to move on and so was Conrad. You fell in love with me and you were happy.”

Sweetness delicately sits up and brings her knees to her chest. Her arms wrap around her legs and her chin rests between her kneecaps.

“
What did I like about you?”

“
I play hockey. You liked my little brother and how I cared for him. Long story short, I have many incredible traits and you love them all.”

That brought a small smile to her face.

“
Would you like me to tell you how it happened?”

She tilts her head at me and nods.

So I start at the beginning. How we were paired together for an English project and how the verbal abuse from her mother had left her in a bad state. I told her how she hit it off with my brother and then began babysitting him.

At night when she couldn't sleep, she ran. I told her that she stopped by my house one night and how it soon became routine. I stopped once I got to Valentine's Day.

“
Sounds like we were good together.”

“
We are.”

“
I can definitely see why I was interested. You're hot and seem nice enough.”

Chuckling, “Thank you.”

“
I think I'm going to go to sleep now.”

“
Sweet dreams.”

I leave her to fall asleep. I'm not too far behind her.

***

In the morning, Emily is nestled against me. Vaguely, I  recall going to the bathroom during the night. I must have crawled into bed with her. The need to use the restroom is strong, but I don't want to wake Sweetness. She's going to freak out when she finds me in bed with her.

The strawberry scent of her shampoo fills my senses and I can't resist the urge to play with her hair. Slowly, my fingers wrap around a strand and twirls. I lose myself in the softness of her messy brown hair. Sweetness looks up at me with those beautiful sleepy eyes and smiles.

“
That feels good.” She returns to her position before popping back up. “What are you doing in here?” She holds the covers up to her neck even though she is well dressed.

“
I got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and must have come to bed instead of back to the couch.”

She leans back down and turns away from me.

“
Please leave.”

“
What is it?”

She whispers, “I thought I remembered something, but it went away.”

Without thinking, I ask, “Want to go ice skating today?”

“
I don't know...” she trails off. Then, just like that, she changes her mind. “Yeah. Why not?”

“
Great. Go get ready and I'll fix breakfast.”

I toss the covers aside. Shuffling my feet, I head to the kitchen. Sizzling pops of grease sound as bacon is laid on top of the skillet. I turn another burner on high to start eggs as biscuits bake in the oven. Scooping the cooked eggs onto their respective plates along with the bacon, I walk over to the oven and pull out the biscuits.

Turning around, I find Emily leaning against the wall watching me.

“
You look extremely good cooking. Do you fix meals often?”

             
She takes a seat at the bar and I place a plate in front of her before rounding the island to sit beside her.

“
Unfortunately, that is something we argued about recently. You do most of the work around the house.”

Emily just nods and digs into her food. We eat silently and I can't help but wonder what she's thinking. Glancing over, I see that she is dressed in jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt and a scarf thrown around her neck. I didn't even know she owned a scarf. That's the first I've seen her wear one.

After we eat, Emily offers to wash the dishes so I can get ready. Opening the drawer, I pull out a black long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. I slip into my clothes, brush my teeth and hair, and put on socks and shoes.

My skates are already in my bag. We'll have to rent Emily a pair once we go to the local ice skating rink.

“
Ready?” I ask.

“
Yes, I am.”

I open the door and we're off to the rink.

15

Emily

How could I have ever gotten over Conrad? I hate to admit it but waking up in Jake's arms this morning stirred a feeling of safety within me. That said, if I got over Conrad, even though I didn't remember the past three years, then why can't I enjoy the presence of this hot guy? On wobbly legs, I step out onto the ice. Immediately, I reach behind me for Jake. His strong hands firmly grasp my hips.

“
It's okay. I've got you.”

His words are promising.

“
Alright. Now pretend you are rollerblading. It's that easy.”

“
I've never roller-bladed.”

Chuckling, he says, “Push off on your left then your right.”

I do as he says and slowly inch forward. My foot slips as I attempt to speed up just a little. Strong hands keep me upright and my insides shake as Jake's breath warms my ear.

“
I told you that I've got you.”

I focus on trying to skate. After ten minutes, I sort of get the hang of it. Jake releases me and instantly, I know that it's Jake that has kept me standing thus far. My arms flail about as Jake skates in front of me. He takes my hands in his own.

“
C'mon. Skate, Sweetness.”

Jake begins to skate backwards and tugs me with him. Backwards! I've no choice but to skate. My hands hold on tightly to Jake's. I can feel that I'm going to fall. If I'm going down, Jake is going down with me.

Three times I almost fall and each time Jake catches me, giving me a sly smile that screams he is keeping his word. I squeeze my eyes shut as a memory tries to come forward. I can see a smiling Jake and me telling him to quit giving me the I'm-incredible-and-I-know-it look. Everything appears blurry and strong arms wrap around my waist.

“
Sweetness? Emily? Everything okay?”

I slit my eyes and then they pop open. Leaning against Jake, I rest for a second. There's a sudden weakness in my legs and I hope it disappears soon. Jake's pleading eyes remind me to answer him.

“
I remember telling you to quit looking at me with a look that says I'm incredible. That's it though. It was like I was an outsider looking in.”

A faraway look appears in Jake's eyes and that sly smile just barely appears.

“
C'mon; let's skate if you're feeling okay.”

Nodding, Jake starts skating backwards once more. I still stumble a few times, but confidence fills my veins as Jake picks up the pace little by little. It's an amazing feeling to glide across the ice - with Jake's help, of course. I know that if I start to fall, Jake will catch me.

Two hours and dozens of almost falls later, I'm exhausted as we take a seat at a picnic table with hot cocoa between our hands. It has been a fun and wonderful today. I would love to come back and have the security of Jake's hands in mine again.

“
Thanks for today. I had lots of fun.”

“
You're welcome. It was good to go out and skate for pure fun instead of worrying about the game.”

The hot chocolate warms my insides as it slides down my throat. Thinking about today puts a smile on my face and I sneak a peek at Jake when I go to take a slip of my drink. His clenched jaw is looking in another direction and what I can see of his eyes are fierce. Following his gaze, I see a cute guy with long blonde hair approaching our table.

He takes a seat, nods to Jake, and focuses on me.

“
Hey Emily. Enjoying your day at the rink?”

Confused, my eyebrows furrow and I look to Jake.

“
Do I know him?”

“
Of course you do, Em. It's me. Kyle.”

Back and forth between Jake and this Kyle my eyes dart. A memory of being kissed by Kyle flashes in my mind.

“
I've kissed you before. But how? If I went from being with Conrad to Jake then how did I end up kissing you?”

The look that passes over Jake is one that I haven't seen in the past twenty four hours. He looks angry. Did I cheat on Jake? Did he know that I did such a thing? I would cheat on someone?

“
I didn't cheat on you, did I? I didn't think I was the kind of person who would do that.”

A calming look comes over Jake as he turns to me.

“
No. You didn't. He kissed you when you didn't want it. That's what you're remembering. You did nothing wrong.”

Relief courses through me and suddenly, I don't want to be here with this guy anymore. I feel too uneasy and a headache begins to form.