What's His Is Mine (10 page)

I
was tired as hell. I had just worked a double and I just wanted to get in the shower and go to sleep. I didn't feel like working out at 12 a.m., but I had to get my one hour in. Losing weight is an essential part of my plan to get DeCarious back.

Dina told me about these Chinese diet pills that her sister-in-law took to lose sixty-three pounds. She brought them into work, and I looked at the bottle and couldn't understand anything that was written on it. All of the writing was in gold Chinese letters.

“I am not taking pills when I don't even know what the bottle says,” I said.

“I'm telling you, she took them and she is so skinny now—and she was really fat. All you're trying to lose is a few pounds. They work and they are safe. She got them right from Chinatown,” Dina said, then she pulled up her sister-in-law's before-and-after pictures on her Facebook page. It was a big improvement, but I wasn't taking them.

Another week went by and I only lost two pounds. That was good normal weight loss, but I needed fast results. I needed to lose like eight pounds a week. I thought about the Chinese diet pills, but I didn't want to ask Dina to bring them to work again. So I drove to Chinatown in search of the magic pills. There was a big red, gold, green awning with yellow dragon heads, I parked and then I stopped at what looked to be an herbal store. I went in and asked for diet pills. The woman shook her head and spoke in her language, and a young Chinese girl came out and said, “Hi, may I help you?”

“I'm looking for diet pills.”

“What kind of diet pills?” she asked.

“I'm not sure. I just know they are in a white bottle with gold writing.”

She walked over a few aisles and said, “Are you talking about these?”

“Yes, that's them,” I said as I studied the bottle. “Do you know if they work? And what does it say on the bottle?”

“They're just diet pills and they work. I haven't taken it, but I heard about girls who have. You need this tea also. You take the tea right after you eat dinner. You only need the tea once a week.” We walked up front, she talked to the other woman in Chinese, and then the lady rang me up.

I was so excited. If that big fat lady lost all that weight, I was sure to get skinny fast. I needed to be Mrs. Simmons, so I had to get this excess fat off my ass before my next trip to Atlanta. Therefore I was going to do anything and everything, including taking pills that I couldn't read the ingredients of. They couldn't sell me anything that would kill me.

I went home and made some of the tea so I could get ahead of the game. I was going to start the pills tomorrow.

Taking the tea was not a good decision. The tea did something crazy to my insides. My mouth was watering and I was weak. It felt like a little man was inside my stomach bouncing around. Let's just say I had to make half a dozen trips to the bathroom. The next day I had to call out of work and call my mom to come and get Asia to take her to school.

However, later that evening I felt much lighter. I felt like I lost twenty pounds in one day. I didn't lose twenty pounds, but I was down five pounds already. I felt energized and was going to head for the gym.

I
n two weeks my clothes were falling off. Everyone at work had noticed the thirteen pounds I had already lost. It wasn't time to buy a new wardrobe just yet, but I did look nice. The Chinese pills jump-started everything, but they made me jittery, so I stopped taking them. However, now I was a regular on the elliptical and treadmill at the gym. I'm just a few pounds away from my slim-fitting size sixes. I just hope DeCarious takes notice. I was going to do everything in my power to show him I was the woman for him.

I had DeCarious before and I can get him again with careful planning, hard work, and dedication. All I have to do is be extra nice to him, kill him with kindness, and let him believe I've changed.

 

 

I flew into Hartsfield and picked up my rental car. I didn't want to rely on DeCarious and I didn't want to be stuck in the house again.

“Hi, Miss Anne,” I said as I came in the house with Malaysia in one arm and my suitcase in the other. She took Asia and said, “Oh, look at my precious baby. You down here to visit Ma-Ma again.” Asia smiled back at her as she took off her jacket and said, “How you doing, Adrienne? DeCarious, I guess he will be back. He went out a few hours ago.”

“Okay,” I said.

After I settled in I sat at the kitchen island and watched as she prepared dinner and played with Asia. We didn't really talk that much during that last visit. I was going to make it my business this time to get her to like and understand me. “You need any help, Miss Anne?”

“No.”

“What are you cooking?”

“Macaroni and cheese and a roast.”

“That's Asia's favorite food.”

“She looks like her daddy. That's for sure,” Miss Anne said, smiling.

“I think she acts like DeCarious sometimes. Nice, but sometimes she is stubborn.”

“Yes, she does get that from her daddy. He can be mean and stubborn if he wants to be,” she said.

“And that's all Asia is saying right now too—Da-Da. All day long.”

“Oh, wait till DeCarious hears her say Da-Da. He is going to be so happy.”

“Oh, let me show you the pictures, Miss Anne, that were taken at her day care.”

She wiped her hands on her apron and then put her reading glasses on. “Oh, she looks so pretty. You are definitely a Simmons baby,” she said, tickling Asia. “Which one can I have?”

“All of them. Oh, and I brought something for me and Asia to wear to church with you on Sunday.”

“Oh, you did. You're really going to come out?” She got so excited and her demeanor changed drastically. “You will enjoy it. My pastor is a young, dynamic pastor. He knows the Word, but he brings new life to it for the younger generation. You are really going to like it.”
I don't really care about her pastor,
I thought. I just was trying to win points with her, by any means. Her being one of my supporters was essential to getting DeCarious back.

I heard DeCarious come in the house accompanied by Rock. Malaysia saw her daddy and became excited, extending her arms to go to her father and trying to run to the door. He came in and picked Malaysia up, gave his mother a kiss on the cheek, but barely spoke to me, even though I was dressed and looked beautiful.

“Where are you coming from?” Miss Anne said.

“The studio, Aunt Anne,” Rock said.

“You staying for dinner, Rock?”

“No, I have to go back to the studio and make sure everything gets handled.”
Thank God, good-bye,
I thought as Rock headed for the door. Now that Rock was gone DeCarious could pay attention to me. I hoped he noticed my new shape. I sashayed over to him.

“DeCarious, I got Asia's pictures taken,” I said as I reached over his shoulder, letting my breast come in contact with his forearm, and handed the pictures to him.

He glanced at them and said, “These are nice. Why didn't you call me when you got to the airport?”

“I figured you might be busy, so I rented a car—and I can go out if y'all go anywhere this weekend.”

“Makes sense,” he said, not looking up at me and still giving Asia all his attention. So I walked back past DeCarious again and over to the sink.

“Girl, what are you doing? Why are you so skinny again?” Miss Anne said.

“I'm not so skinny.” DeCarious looked over at me. He still didn't say anything, but I could tell he noticed, too.

“You are skinny—you better get some food.”

“I do eat.”

“Well, not enough. I don't like skinny. It makes you look like you're sick. Like you got problems.”

“No, I don't.”

Over dinner I smiled and was attentive to DeCarious and Asia. If he needed more juice I got up and got it. I laughed at all his jokes and smiled at him. I was very complimentary. When he walked past me in the kitchen to put his plate in the sink, I poked out my butt slightly, just so, so he could get a little feel of what he was missing. I thought I got a rise out of him. I'm also certain I did. He wants me, he just doesn't know it yet.

 

 

As promised, I went to Sunday service with Miss Anne. She was dressed in her big, black-and-white polka-dot hat and this black pleated dress. Her church was a mega church. We had to catch a bus from the parking lot just to get to the front door. Once we entered, I saw rows and rows of stadium-like seating. There was even a balcony. I felt like I was going to see a concert or something. Miss Anne must be important at the church, because the usher sat us in the third row.

The preacher was young and dressed in a burgundy suit. He stood behind the pulpit hyper and screaming. I had no idea what he was saying, but the crowd was excited. My mom was Catholic and the few times she took me to church, they didn't do all this. His preaching was electrifying. I felt like he was talking to me and he made me feel like I could do anything. He talked about how I was born with a purpose and I had roadblocks and things that needed to be lifted, and in order to get it done, I had to let God in and believe in Him to see change. After the preacher finished speaking, the large choir took over and began singing a bunch of songs. It was very interesting.

After service everyone walked up to Pastor Sneed like he was a rock star. Everyone was vying for his attention and wanted to be able to say just one word to him. As members of the congregation walked out, they patted him and said
Great service
. I was ready to go, but Miss Anne had to be one of the hangers-on. We had to wait damn near fifteen minutes so she could speak with him.

“Sister Anne, how are you doing today?” he said with a gigantic smile.

“I'm great, Pastor Sneed. I want you to meet my granddaughter and her mother, and say that service today was awesome, praise God.” He thanked her, and I was mad because she waited all that time just to tell him that.

 

 

When we came in from church, I changed my clothes and helped her clean the greens, chop the cheese for her macaroni and cheese, and season her baked chicken and put it in the oven. She would have to cook and clean the ham hocks and pigs' feet on her own. I was not touching it.

After several hours of preparation there was a nice Thanksgiving type spread on the table. All Miss Anne seemed to do was cook, eat, and sleep, and then get up and start cooking again. And she got a little bit of church in between.

DeCarious walked in with the same clothes on from the night before. He picked some of the chicken off the bone and said, “Where ya'll go today?”

“They went to church with me.”

“Church?”

“Yes, church. And stop touching my food when you haven't washed your hands,” she said as she slapped his hand.

 

 

After dinner, I left Asia downstairs and went upstairs. I closed the door to my room and turned on the television. I was bored and tired of playing with Miss Anne. I called Angelique and caught up with her. She said that she dropped Nytika from the inner circle 'cause she was making her look bad. I laughed at her usual animated convo. I then called my mom and took a nap.

I was awakened by DeCarious knocking at the door. He came in and said, “What's up with all this church stuff?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Adrienne. If you don't want to go to church with my mom, all you have to do is say no. Don't go with her just to be nice.”

“I wouldn't do that. I wanted to go. Your mom gave me this Bible and everything. She is teaching me some things I didn't know,” I said, grabbing the Bible off of the nightstand.

“Wow, and you're reading it.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, like why are you laughing? I'm really trying to make changes in my life. I'm down here, right? I'm learning a lot. My mom never took me to church like that. And I've never been to a Baptist church, so it's good. And I want Malaysia to know about religion and stuff.” I was saying anything and everything that sounded good and DeCarious was falling for it.

“Yeah, that's true. That's nice. That's real nice. I like that, Adrienne. Well, I'm outta here. I'll be back before you leave to go home.”

“All right.”

“Oh, if y'all going to be coming down on a regular basis, what I'll do is fix this room up for y'all.”

“Yeah, that will be cool.”

 

 

Tuesday morning DeCarious dropped us off at the airport. He gave Asia a kiss and then just said good-bye to me. It wasn't a bad visit, but the next visits had to be better. It seemed like it was taking him forever to warm up to me. This was going to be so much harder than I expected.

D
eCarious has called and texted me a lot and we went on two dates. Right now I was just taking it slow. I liked him, but I didn't want our relationship to interfere with my job. There wasn't anywhere written that I couldn't date DeCarious, but it was a conflict of interest. As a reporter I was supposed to be objective, and that's hard if the person you're covering is your boyfriend. I wasn't sure how this would work out yet. Then there was the athlete factor that worried me. Even Toni said he probably had a lot of women, because of what he does. She told me to have fun with him, but not to take an athlete seriously. But it didn't seem that way. He came off as a genuine good guy. DeCarious was always helping out his parents or he was at the studio helping out.

Toni and I were about to go to Charlotte to visit our granddaddy. He was sick and Auntie Rose said the doctors said he could go either way. So we had to go and check on him.

“Toni, be ready. I will be at your house in the next half hour.”

“I can't go,” she said.

“What? You are the one who convinced me to go. So now I have to go all the way Charlotte by myself? Auntie Rose is cooking a big dinner because she thinks we are coming.”

“I know, but I can't go.”

“If something happens to Granddaddy, you are going to be so upset with yourself.”

“He'll be all right, until next time. Give him a kiss and tell him I love him. Dave wants to have a talk with me. It is real important. He is trying to save our marriage.”

“Okay, whatever.” I sighed.

“So are you still going to go?”

“I really don't have a choice, Toni.” I hung up on my sister. Sometimes she made me so angry. I hated going home to visit or deal with my family. For the most part, I didn't deal with our family because of our cousin Patrick. Patrick was right between Toni and me. We all were close because our parents were always on the road, and his mom was on drugs.

My grandfather and grandmother took care of us all. Uncle Duke was my father's youngest brother. And when I was about nine and Patrick was eleven and Toni was fourteen, Patrick confided in us that Uncle Duke was molesting him. We convinced him to tell on Uncle Duke. He did, and we all swore that Duke was going to go to jail and they would kick him out of the house. But when he told, no one believed him and they said Patrick was crazy.

All the adults in the family said Uncle Duke would never do anything like that because he had so many women. But I knew what Patrick was saying was the truth because he repeated the same story over and over to us. And every time he would see Uncle Duke he would tremble and get scared. But every time he said that Duke touched him, my granddaddy beat him until he stopped saying it. Like it wasn't true. Right then and there is when I lost respect for all the adults in my family, and we all plotted to get out of Charlotte and never return. Toni and I did it, but Patrick is still there, and he was the one who needed to leave most.

By the time we were teenagers, Patrick was on drugs, a runaway, and a male prostitute. And then our family shunned him altogether. But Uncle Duke was still allowed to come around and no one ever said anything.

I tried to keep in contact with Patrick, but he was always moving around and changing cell phone numbers. I even tried to get him to move to Atlanta with me. Once I got to Charlotte I was going to see if I could get in touch with him.

 

 

I was mad that I had to drive to Charlotte on my own. I turned the radio on to V103. This was a time I wished I had invested in satellite radio. I hated when the stations changed. I heard the phone ring and I turned down the radio. I thought it was Toni calling back.

“How you doing, Ms. Long?” I recognized DeCarious's voice.

“I'm fine, Mr. Simmons. How are you?” I giggled.

“I'm fine. What's up with you?”

“Right now I'm starting my long journey up I-85 to Charlotte.”

“By yourself?”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“You should have told me. I would have rode with you.”

“That would have been nice.”

“I still can go. How far did you get?”

“I actually just got on the road. My sister was going to drive with me, but her and her husband have to take care of something.”

“Do you want me to ride with you? I'll drive and that will give us a chance to talk some more.”

“You'll drive up there with me?” I really didn't want to drive four hours by myself.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I can meet you off the highway at the Exxon.”

We met at a gas station. I parked in a supermarket parking lot and turned the alarm on and jumped into his big truck. I would normally not take anyone home to Charlotte, but it was only my aunt and sick grandfather.

 

 

My auntie Rose was sitting on the porch in her big blue-flowered dress when we pulled up in front of my granddaddy's house. My auntie Rose was my father's older sister. She never moved out or married, she just took care of my grandfather and the house. She stared at the truck, trying to see who was in it.

She stood up and said, “Cherise, I'm glad you made it.” She gave me a great big hug and then turned to DeCarious and said, “How you doing, young man? What's your name?”

“DeCarious.”

“Nice to meet you, DeCarious. Come on in and have a seat.”

Granddaddy was in a hospital bed, by the steps. I walked over to his bed and said, “Hey, Granddaddy.”

He looked up, saw me, and called me by my nickname. “Ju Ju Bean.”

“Granddaddy, it's me, Ju Ju Bean. You okay?” I asked him. He didn't have enough energy to sit up so I leaned over and hugged him. I always had mixed feelings about my grandfather. He treated us good, but allowed everyone to treat Patrick like he wasn't his grandson.

“Yeah, doin' as best I can.” He coughed and paused and then said, “Where Sweet Pea?”

“She couldn't make it, Granddaddy, but she told me to give you a kiss and tell you that she loves you.” I sat next to the bed and talked to him for a while and then went back to the sofa where Auntie Rose was talking DeCarious's ears off.

“Why Toni ain't come? What, she too good?” she asked.

“No, Auntie, she had a meeting she had to go to.”

“Oh, 'cause I know how y'all spoiled girls be thinking about us and coming home,” she said as she went into the kitchen and came back with a few glasses and a pitcher of lemonade. She poured us both a glass and then asked, “You talk to your parents?”

“No, I hear from them twice a year. They send me a big gift on my birthday and Christmas. You know.”

“Yeah, your father does the same thing to me.”

I looked over at DeCarious. He was being friendly, but he looked bored and so was I. I felt like I did— what was I supposed to do? I checked on my Granddaddy and chatted a little with Auntie Rose and now I could leave.

“Well, Auntie Rose, I think we'll be getting back on the road soon. I have to be to work early.”

“Ya'll not staying for dinner?” she asked, disappointed.

“No, we can't. I have to get back and so does he.”

“But I made all this food y'all better eat up. Toni was supposed to come. So was Duke, Duke's girlfriend, my friend Josie, and her husband. You know Duke is ill, too! Got cancer.”

“I didn't know that.”

“He got some other things going on with him, too. Good thing he has a good girlfriend now. She takes good care of him.”

“Auntie Rose, I would love to, but we have to get back on the road.” Just as I said that as I was leaving, there was a knock on the door. It was Patrick. I walked out and saw this skinny frame—he looked like a fraction of my cousin. I screamed as I gave him a hug. “I didn't expect you to get my message and just come.”

“Yeah, as soon as I heard my favorite little cousin was in town, I got a ride over here. Look at you looking all pretty,” he said. I couldn't say the same for him. He always stayed on top of his wardrobe and looks. But everything on him looked raggedy. His tan shirt had a few grease spots and his jeans were loose, like he wore them too many times in a row. His appearance made me a little concerned.

“I was just about to have dinner. Why don't you stay for a little bit? Come in and get yourself something to eat?” I said as I changed my mind about having dinner. Patrick looked like he needed a meal and someone to talk to.

“No, my ride is waiting. Plus you know I don't mess with them,” he said, looking over at the running pearl-colored Cadillac and the older man driver.

“I'm here. I'll take you home. Auntie Rose is cooking dinner and Granddaddy is not doing so good.”

“Then I'll stay.” He went and told his ride he was staying.

Patrick came in and sat with our grandfather as Auntie Rose began making our plates in the dining room. Auntie Rose was never a good cook, but the ham, mashed potatoes, string beans, and biscuits and gravy looked edible. I introduced Patrick to DeCarious and he gave me a thumbs-up sign when DeCarious wasn't looking. We all talked a little and went to sit at the dining room table to eat. I picked at my food and so did DeCarious. However, Patrick was eating the bland food like he hadn't had a hot meal in months. Auntie Rose didn't mind—she was happy to take his plate and serve him seconds. Just as Auntie Rose placed Patrick's plate in front of him again, Uncle Duke came walking through the door. Auntie Rose gave him a big king's welcome. Damn. I saw Patrick's eyes go down and his whole attitude changed once Duke entered the room. Duke was in his late forties, tall, dark brown, with a thin mustache. He always dressed like he was on his way to church somewhere, even when he was just going to the corner store. His girlfriend looked like she was in her late twenties and her son looked to be about ten. I couldn't wait to hurry up and eat my food and go. I knew something was going to happen, I just didn't know what. I should have left when I had the chance.

Uncle Duke's girlfriend, Francine, sat next to me and Duke had the audacity to sit directly across from Patrick. I could feel the tension building. So to break up the uneasiness in the room I made small talk with Patrick. Then in the middle of the conversation Duke asked Patrick to pass the gravy to him. Why would he do that? I saw how Patrick looked at him, but I was surprised that he just passed it across the table.

He finished answering my question and then out of nowhere Patrick said, “I know you're not going to sit across the table from me like nothing happened, like you didn't used to come in my room and touch me.”

“When are you going to stop telling lies?” Uncle Duke said.

“You mind your manners, boy,” Auntie Rose said.

“I don't have to mind shit. I'm grown now. I told y'all that motherfucker touched and raped me and y'all ain't do shit about it. Y'all always taking up for him and he is the motherfucking devil.” He turned to my uncle's new girlfriend. “If you know him like I know him, you better watch your son.”

“You going to keep on lying. Why are you trying to talk that crazy shit?” Duke asked.

“I ain't lying shit. You know it's true. When you look in the mirror you should see Satan because you the fuck are him.”

“You little faggot, you better be quiet.”

“I'm a faggot? How did I get this way, you fucking asshole?” Patrick said as he lunged across the table and punched Uncle Duke in the jaw. Once they got in contact with one another no one could break the fight up. It was total chaos and happening so quickly. They knocked all the food off the table, and the fight was going all around the house, from the dining room table to the living room, where my grandfather was sleeping comfortably. It was just a mess. The best thing for everyone was to just move out of the way. DeCarious attempted several times to break it up, but Patrick was just throwing wild, fast punches. My aunt was crying and rocking back and forth. She kept saying she couldn't believe he would keep telling a lie for all these years. I couldn't believe that she still didn't get that her brother was a child molester. Uncle Duke was trying to stop fighting, but Patrick wouldn't let him. He didn't have enough energy to punch him anymore, so he began kicking him, screaming, “That's why you got cancer in your ass and you going to get AIDS in your dick, bitch. 'Cause of what the fuck you did to me.” Patrick finally stopped hitting and went back to the table and began trying to salvage what was left of the food to make another plate. Uncle Duke's girlfriend picked him up off the floor. He stood up and wiped down his clothing and left out the door.

Moments later, the cops arrived. One of the neighbors must have heard the commotion and called. The police came in the house and saw the damage. They questioned Patrick and then put him in handcuffs and interviewed everyone else. They were going to let Patrick go, but he kept talking trash.

“Patrick, just shut up. They are going to let you go,” I said as I walked over to the police car.

“Man, fuck that damn cop.”

“Don't say that. If you get locked up right now, Duke wins. Don't let him have that kind of power over you.” I walked over to the police officer and tried to reason with him. He said since Uncle Duke had left, he would let Patrick go if he was quiet. I finally was able to get him to be quiet and the police let him go.

We calmed my aunt down and then began trying to straighten the house up. Everything was everywhere. I looked over at DeCarious, sweeping up pieces of glass, and thought,
What a great third date.
I was so embarrassed. I couldn't even imagine what he was thinking about. All I kept telling myself was, this is why I never go home.