When Hari Met His Saali (12 page)

‘Tia,
beta
, you don’t have to stress so much.
Sab
guests
apne hi log hai.
’

‘But it has to be perfect not for the guests Mary, but for me!’ Tia said, looking at no one in particular but staring someplace else, with the look of a villain making an ambitious evil plan of his own.

Mary chose not to point out the narcissism in her statement and instead encouraged Tia.

‘I know you will make the ceremony a grand success, Tia. Barry’s most important colleagues, all our relatives, friends, everyone will be there. Since Hari is our only son, this is going to be a much-awaited occasion.’

Instead of encouraging her, this only freaked Tia out even more. She wanted to do her ‘whoo-whoo’ breathing but decided to split from there.

‘Oh, God, I must leave, I have to meet Jenny. Running late. Bye!’

Once she had driven a little away from Mary’s house, Tia controlled her breathing.

Oh, God, I feel so lost. How am I going to do all this in addition to my work commitments?
She asked herself out loud.

Forty-five minutes later — Downtown Los Angeles

When she reached Jenny’s office after driving in woeful traffic, her friend was grinning from ear to ear.

‘Whoa, let me guess, you’re pregnant?’ Tia asked confidently.

Jenny’s smile disappeared.

‘No silly, I was just appointed to the panel of immigration reforms by Los Angeles Governor Jerry Brown.’

‘Oh!’ Tia slumped down on the chair disappointed.

‘Babes, this is like a big deal in my career, OK? Show some enthusiasm. It’s equivalent to you being made a partner in your firm!’ Jenny said, knowing it would get Tia’s attention.

‘Wow, really? That’s exciting Jen …” but even Jenny could sense a tinge of jealousy in Tia’s voice. Tia had always competed with Jenny. In fact, Tia would compete with anyone and everyone who came into her life and that competitive spirit was not limited to her work.

‘We gotta celebrate then, Jen!’ Tia said, trying to continue her fake enthusiasm.

But Jenny wasn’t easily offended.

‘I know why you are here, bitch. Here’s the sponsor letter you wanted for your sister and mom’s visa. You gotta courier it to them and not fax it, OK?’

Tia took the letter in her hand and looked at the stamp at the bottom. It was a golden seal.

‘You slut, tell me one thing, this … this new appointment of yours, is that going to help my sis get her visa?’ Tia engaged Jenny in the banter.

‘You bet your spicy Indian ass it will. That’s the golden seal babes. That’s
like the U.S. government telling the visa granting authority that it wants this person to visit America.’

‘You are a darling. A slut, but a darling slut!’ Tia was genuinely happy.

‘You’re welcome. I’ll bill you, you whore!’ Jenny leaned back in her chair proudly.

‘I am not paying you a dime, you leg-spreader white trash …’ Tia tossed the letter back at Jenny. ‘And do me a favor, can you courier it for me please, you vamp, I just don’t want to do it from my office.’

‘Only because you’re my only friend from a starving third world country.’ Jenny took the letter and put in an envelope.

‘Thanks, floozy!’ Tia got up and opened her arms. ‘Now give me a hug, you slutomania!’

Jenny hugged her. They squeezed each other’s bodies.

‘Congratulations, Jen, you deserve it!’ Tia said, trying to remove herself from the embrace, but Jenny was holding her tight.

‘Don’t go, your body feels so nice.’

Of course Jenny was teasing Tia, and Tia knew it.

‘Get off me, you harlot! You can’t afford me!’

Jenny was still teasing her as Tia started to leave.

‘But I always thought the two of us would go lesbo eventually …’

Tia flipped her middle finger.

‘Dream on, dork,’ she said as she walked out.

That was the relationship between Tia and Jenny. Underneath all that casual banter was a solid friendship and a sense of togetherness. They had always depended on each other and they knew that they had each other’s backs whenever needed. The good thing about the depth of their relationship was that they had never discussed the depth of their relationship, but both knew they
felt
the relationship. They would have been best of sisters.

Lunch hour — Tia’s office

Stephan had just walked into Tia’s office and she immediately covered her mouth with a napkin; she didn’t want him to see her chewing food.

‘Sorry to interrupt your lunch,’ he said, sitting down. ‘But we have to go to New York!’

Tia nodded, using all her concentration to swallow her mouthful.

‘Don’t choke on your food. I don’t mean we have to go now, now!’ Stephan said mockingly.

Aah, he is making a joke about my eating habits. How cute! Go, go, go down you chicken burrito.

She shifted the food to the left side of her mouth and chewed faster, harder, then shifted it back to her right side and kept chewing. There was no way she could open her mouth without spraying food everywhere. If she was in a slapstick movie, at this point she would have run towards her sixth floor window with her arms flaying up and down and crashed through the glass panel. Tia was that embarrassed. She found herself signaling Stephan to give her a second. He nodded and then leaned back. This made her even more nervous, as if he was expecting her abnormal chewing to go on even longer. In her mind she saw Stephan looking at his wristwatch wondering how long she was gonna take.

Oh gosh, why? Why? Why do I take such large bites? It must look inhuman to him! Look at his ocean blue eyes, he is just waiting for … gosh, he is so perfectly tanned … Stop, stop thinking about him and focus on chewing. OK, on three, just gulp! One, two … GULP!

Sure enough, Tia swallowed her food making a very obnoxious sound.

‘So, when are we going to New York?’

‘As soon as you finish eating that … whatever you were eating. No actually, we’ll have to leave tomorrow. For two days.’

This made her nervous. Tia was aware that she became jelly-legged in Stephan’s presence. She had concluded that it was just how her body reacted to him and that she couldn’t do much about it, but she knew she could focus on not making it obvious to him — or to anyone else in the office.

Clara is your good friend; Clara is your good friend.

This loop of affirmations helped Tia resist the urge to rip his clothes off, throw him on the table and … and … just stare into his deep blue eyes. All that talk in her head made her say, ‘OK. Two days in New York. With you.’

What the fuck, girl? What was that last part about ‘with you’. How stupid!

Whether Stephan caught the last part or not was unclear.

‘Showtime, Tia,’ he said, walking out of her office. ‘Your pitch has gotta be rocking. Sorry couldn’t get you more time to prep …’

‘No worries. I am ready, Stephan.’

Tia was glad that sentence didn’t have any
snafu!

But no sooner had Stephan stepped out her office, Tia was panicking. She had already scheduled so many engagement ‘to-do’ activities for the next two days. She told herself that if she could clinch the New York contract for the firm, she could begin to sow the seed of becoming a partner in the firm. She would at least have a good excuse to bring it up with Stephan.

Although she knew nothing could happen personally between her and Stephan, the idea of being away from the office with him for two whole days in New York excited her. But more importantly, Hari was landing tonight, and she knew she’d have to postpone her plans to spend the night with him, as she’d have lots to prepare for her pitch.

That night — Los Angeles

By the time Hari had landed at Los Angeles airport it was midnight. He had got to know Swati and Abhijat during the flight in spite of his reservations. Swati had eagerly asked for all of his contact information but he decided to only give her his mobile number and email address. He was conflicted about sharing so much information with her because, as he knew, it all starts out innocently like it did years ago when his father asked him to look up a girl at UCLA and now he was marrying her! He shuddered as the thought of it happening again with Swati entered his mind. She was also going to UCLA, but he figured that this brother-sister team was too fresh-off-the-boat to be a risk. He waited for them to come out of the customs and immigration check and then helped them to get them a cab to their destination. Both Swati and Abhijat were overwhelmed by Hari’s thoughtfulness and thanked him so many times that Hari felt like the white man welcoming the pilgrims.

Swati and Abhijat would soon learn that this United States of America was a land of immigrants; that people from all over the world arrived there daily and that being polite didn’t translate as “we’re best friends”. But they would be all right and soon they would be advising others on how to assimilate into American society. This was the land that welcomed everybody.

Feeling satisfied that he had done the right thing, Hari took out his mobile to dial Tia. More trivia.

Hari’s Trivia # 801: In 1890, the German population of New York City was larger than the German population of Hamburg.

Before he could dial Tia his phone rang. He wasn’t surprised to see it was her.

‘Welcome back, honey!’ she said excitedly.

Hari was tired after his journey.

‘Hello babes, how are you?’ he said in a tired voice as he got into the back seat of his cab, instructing the driver: ‘Malibu. Take PCH.’

‘I so missed you. Can’t wait to see you!’ Tia screamed into the phone.

‘It’s gonna take me at least an hour to reach home, babes.’

Hari wasn’t sure if he wanted to see her that night. Sure, he had missed
her, but what’s up with this meeting instantly? It had only been four freaking days. They’d been apart for three to four days many times, but maybe there was something about being away from each other and in a foreign country that made the heart grow fonder? Maybe, he concluded.

‘Hari, sweetie, I have to be in New York tomorrow for that museum job. I’m the head architect and I have to pitch it to the committee there. I gotta prepare it tonight.’ Tia did not say more than was required.

Hari was strangely glad that he was going to get a couple more days away from Tia to focus on work, but he masked the surge in his voice.

‘Oh, well, we gotta do what we gotta do for work, honey. We’ll celebrate once you’re back from NY!’

But he should’ve known better.

‘
Arrey
, we are definitely meeting,
yaar.
I am at your place waiting for you!’

The sentence hung in the air for a moment, and, as always Hari just accepted that there was no escape.

‘Oh, OK!’

Fortunately for him, when he reached home there was limited hugging and that too because Barry and Mary were still awake. Tia handed him her file.

‘I have marked some work for you. It’s highlighted in yellow. Please get it done by the time I am back from New York?’

Hari was too tired and so he just accepted the file and put it on the table. Tia said goodbye to everyone but dragged Hari outside to her car because she wanted to kiss him. He followed her like a zombie. The kiss involved Tia trying to force her tongue into Hari’s mouth and Hari keeping it firmly shut.

‘I need to brush, Tia!’

‘I want to know all about your India trip and what all went down with Simi and Mom, OK? I’ll call you tomorrow from New York and then you can give me all the dirt …’ Tia said as she caressed his arms.

‘Dirt? There was no dirt, Tia’ Hari managed.

She hugged him again.

‘Welcome back, Hari!’

Tia almost had tears in her eyes. It was all so melodramatic to Hari, and so forced. I mean, she wasn’t going to a war zone and she would only be away for two days! Hari went back inside, took a long shower and then flopped onto his bed.

Oh, home sweet home!

Just as he shut his eyes his phone dinged. It was a message from Simi.

Hope you have landed,
Jiju
— XoXo, Simi.

Same time — Nagpur

Simi was in her office and had just texted Hari.

Why would you put XoXo, dumbo. You sound like a desperate sixteen-year-old.

Simi immediately deleted the sent message from her phone but of course it had gone through already. Since she didn’t get a reply from Hari, she figured it couldn’t have reached him. She distracted herself by getting her visa file ready. Mr. Khanna had helped her with some documents and assured her that she’d get the visa. He had also asked Shabnam to help Simi with her visa. Shabnam’s behavior towards Simi had changed as soon as she heard that she was going to the U.S. In the complex, small-town social hierarchy of Nagpur the equations changed often. Simi’s status had been elevated while Shabnam had slid two spots downwards. But Shabnam was not the malicious type — she genuinely felt happy for Simi.

‘Once you get the visa and land in America, don’t come back. Ever,’ she told her. ‘Like your sister, just find some guy there, marry him and
bas!
’ she said, repeating the same thing to Simi for the fourth time that day.

Every time Simi had responded in the same way.

‘No ways, I am going for Tia’s wedding and will be back in Nagpur in a month.’

It was beyond Shabnam’s comprehension that someone would escape Nagpur and willingly come back. And she had an interesting way of letting Simi know that.

‘You’ve won a lottery, Simi, but God works in mysterious ways. He gives the winning lottery ticket to those who don’t value it.’

Shabnam didn’t know that Simi was preoccupied with worrying about how she was going to cover all the expenses of her trip and a big gift for Tia. Something in gold, obviously.

How am I going to manage it?

When she reached home that evening her mother waited until she freshened up before talking to her. They hadn’t spoken much that morning because of last night’s argument. When Simi came out of the bathroom after her shower, her mother took her to the bedroom. She asked her to close the curtains.