When It Rains (2 page)

“Oh, I get it Cass, you’ve been talking to Ma.”

“That isn’t what I meant. You know I adore Audrey and love the two of you together.”

We are paused at a red light; near the restaurant we are meeting Kevin Stark at for brunch.

“Forget it Cass. I don’t need your blessing either.”

My hand is tight on the door handle; the light is getting ready to change.

“Joe don’t be like this. I’m happy for you honest,” Cassie pleads but it’s too late, her true feelings are out now, and she can’t take them back. I thought of all people she would be happy for me, for us—Audrey and me.

“I’ll meet you there sis, I need some air.”

I get out of the car before the light changes and step onto the sidewalk.

The light turns and I wave my sister on. The car behind her honks his horn, and Cass throws her hands up as I cross the side street.

Suddenly I am struck hard, my body is catapulted, and I hit the hard fiberglass of a sports car. My body feels like I am shattering from the inside out as I roll from the hood and under the wheels. The last thing I see before my world stops is Audrey’s smile from this morning. Her pink lips curved in a sexy grin—my heaven, amid the hell that is dying.

Audrey

Humming along to Awolnation, I apply my lip balm and grab my phone. I thought Joey would have called to make sure I am up by now. I cannot wait to hear how the meeting goes. I’ve always known Joey was special. He is meant for greatness.

I first met Joey through his sister Cassie when I was waitressing at a hole in the wall pool hall. He walked in and literally took my breath away. He was and still is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. The way he carried himself with such confidence was so damn sexy. I had never met a man so sure of himself. His confidence attracted me first, and then he opened his mouth, his voice was so sweet, like pure sugar. I thought I would melt then and there. He was so cheesy it was endearing with his lame pick up line.
“My prayers have been answered. I asked God for an angel and here you stand.”

He actually made me blush and nothing makes me blush,
ever
. I’m not wired that way. I don’t ever get embarrassed. But Joey, that man, he just makes me feel everything. I’ve never had what we share. He has shown me that it is okay to let people in and it is okay to love them too.

When I first moved to Clemons, I had followed loser boyfriend number three with hope of us making it as a duo, similar to The Civil Wars. Austin had other plans. When things got tough he abandoned me, leaving me here with nothing.

I bounced back, he may have bent me, but I wouldn’t be broken so easily. I took whatever jobs I could and I met Cassie one night by chance. I found her in the bathroom crying over some jerk who had stood her up. I said to her,
“No man deserves your tears.”
Then I bought her a drink, and got on stage with her to sing Ladies Night.

Her voice was terrible but we had a great time. We became instant friends and she started coming in and hanging out with me.

If it wasn’t for her dragging her sexy brother along with her one night, I may have never met Joey. That night changed my life. Joey thinks I have commitment issues, but I’m just scared he will realize how much better he’d be without me. His mom sees it, and one day she will make him see it too. He has such high aspirations. I don’t have any of that. I am floating from one day to the next. I need Joey to keep me grounded. When he looks at me, I feel as if I could do anything and be anyone. No one has ever loved me and believed in me the way he does. He makes me feel as if I really matter.

I keep waiting for the day to come where he no longer needs me, his bubbly sex kitten, and meets someone with goals, who can give him things I can’t.

Joey’s Ma thinks I am just sponging off him, because I like working at the bar with him and Cass. Carwell’s feels like home. I draw in a lot of customers. I’m no Madonna but I can sing. I fill a lot of chairs on the weekends.

Swinging the door open, Lewis is already setting the tables for the lunch crowd. He smiles surprised to see me. One of my worst habits is being habitually late. “Morning sweet thing,” he greets, kissing my cheeks.

I smack his sexy ass and he rolls his eyes.

“You can smack it all you want, but girl, you aren’t getting any of this fine ass. I don’t do women, not even those as sexy as you,” he teases.

Lewis is a delicious hunk of sexual chocolate. His dark skin is so smooth, and the man has lashes I would kill for. He’s beautiful. I have never seen such perfect cheek bones in all my days. He also happens to be gay. All the gorgeous ones usually are.

“Any word yet from your man?”

“No, I am sure they are just getting to the restaurant.”

We fall into our easy routine of preparing the kitchen for Ronnie. The man is an asshole, but he is the best short order cook around. He comes in the back door, right on time, as we finish setting up his stations.

“Good morning Ronnie,” I singsong knowing I won’t get a response. He grunts with a grimace, going up front to clock in on the register.

The dude has little-man syndrome—meaning he compensates for his short stature with his out of this world asshole personality. He never speaks to any of us unless he has to out of necessity.

Sasha and Lena come dragging in. They are Cassie and Joey's’ daytime girls. Lena runs the bar with Lewis while Sasha and I man the floor.

“Rough night girls?” I smirk wondering who their latest conquest was. They always have some wild story to share.

“You have no idea,” Sasha says popping a cherry in her mouth.

“I need some fucking coffee,” Lena whines rubbing her temples.

“I’m waiting bitches, dish,” Lewis pipes in taking a seat next to me at the bar.

This is our daily routine. We trade sexcapades until customers start filing in.

Sasha starts going into some spiel about some college boys they went home with, but quickly stops mid-story when Freddie walks in. Interesting. Freddie is the busboy. There has to be a story there and I will get to the bottom of it. 

Lewis pulls his cell out of his pocket and his face falls. He covers his mouth and steals a glance at me. The way he is looking at me is freaking me out.

“Hey.” I touch his arm gently. “Is everything okay?”

“Don’t freak out on me Audrey, but I need you to keep your cool, and come with me to the hospital.”

Tears prick in my eyes. “Lewis don’t fuck with me. What’s going on?” Deep down in the pit of my stomach I have a sick feeling that something is wrong with Joey.

“There’s been an accident,” he says, his voice shaky and uneven. 

Fear grips me.

“It’s Joey, isn’t it?”

He nods. I don’t know what to do. My hands are shaking and I don’t know how to make them stop trembling. I need a drink or something. Lena reaches me a glass of water. My mouth is so dry. The girls want to come with us, but Lewis needs them to stay and run the bar so he can drive me. I know it must be bad, if Cassie reached out to him instead of me.

The whole drive to the hospital I keep chanting in my head, praying Joey is okay.

He can’t leave me.

I can’t lose him.

He is my world.

He is the beat of my heart.

“Joey will be fine, you’ll see.” Lewis tries to reassure me but I can see the fear in his eyes. He knows more than he is telling me.

The drive seems to take forever. I keep trying Cassie, but I keep getting sent to her voicemail, and I can’t bring myself to call Joey's phone. Something tells me that he won’t pick up.

We finally make it to the hospital, and Lewis drops me at the emergency room, leaving me on my own so he can park.

I am afraid to go in. What if I go in there and Joey is all mangled or worse, dead?

“Sweet girl,” Lewis says approaching me as I pace by the double doors, scared of what the other side holds. “All this pacing isn’t going to change what you are about to face. Joey needs you right now.”

“You’re right.” I nod wiping away my tears. I have to be strong for Joey, no matter what. When we walk through the double doors a blast of cold air hits me in the face, along with all the sadness and pain the waiting room holds.

Lewis holds my hand as I approach the receiving window.

“Can I help you?” An older nurse with beady eyes asks, clicking on the keyboard of her computer.                

I open my mouth to speak, but no sound comes out.

Lewis takes charge being my voice and my strength. “We got a call about Joe Carwell.”

“Are you family?”

“No, but this his girlfriend.” He points to my tear streaked face.

“Sorry, immediate family are the only ones allowed back, he was in a serious accident. I can’t release more than that. If you take a seat, I believe his sister will be out in a moment.”

“Tha-thank you,” I finally stutter out as Lewis leads me to the empty, plastic chairs in the corner.

This room is terrifying and loud. There are so many people bustling in and out. Some in tears, others with smiles of relief plastered over their faces.

Finally, Cassie comes out of the emergency room. Her white shirt and gray slacks are covered in blood...Joey's blood. I just know it’s his, I can see it in her blank stare. I feel faint as bile rises in my throat.

She rushes over to me squatting down and hugging my neck. “I’m so sorry Audrey. I tried to stop him, but he was so mad at me.” She wipes her nose on my shoulder as her tears fall. She sobs into my hair as I clutch onto her, waiting for her to just say the words. Joey is gone.

“He’s in surgery, there is a waiting room for family. I’ll take you there. Ma is on her way.”

Relief floods me, he’s okay.

He is alive.

That’s all that matters.

I take a deep breath.

Inhale and out.

Repeat.

Lewis and I follow Cassie to the other waiting room. As we walk she fills us in. She and Joey had a disagreement. Over what though, I am not sure, that isn’t important right now. Joey became upset and exited the car. When he went to cross the street a car came flying through the intersection and struck him at a high rate of speed. Cassie was preparing to go when it happened. She left her car running in the middle of the intersection, rushing to her brother’s side.

“There was so much blood, and his face. Oh God, his handsome face!” She sobs into Lewis’s arms as he hugs her tight to his chest, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

Joey’s Ma comes in ignoring me completely, I am pretty sure she just snubbed her nose at me.  She goes straight for her daughter, demanding information. I sit with my head in my hands absorbing the story for the second time. Only this time Cassie blurts out what they were disagreeing about with coaxing from Gertie. 

“He told me tonight was special.” She looks away when my eyes meet hers. Panic bubbles in my throat. Were they arguing about me? “I know he wanted it to be a surprise, I’m sorry Audrey. Joe was planning on proposing to you tonight.”

Tears of joy and sadness run down my face with her admission. My Joey wants to make me his wife. But why would they be fighting about that. Oh my God, Cassie doesn’t want me with Joey. I thought she was okay with us, but apparently I thought wrong. I want to comment but refrain. This is hardly the time or place.

She’s my best friend. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about her not wanting me for a sister-in-law.

I accompany Lewis to the vending machines to get coffee and to give Cass and her mom a moment alone. Alone and numb, that’s how I feel right now.

**

We have been sitting in the waiting room for four hours now, waiting for answers, eager to just know something...anything. No one is speaking. We don’t know what to say. I’m afraid if I say anything it will just set Gertie off. She has never wanted Joey and me to last. Even her dog hates me. Bowser barks at me non-stop every time we go over for dinner, which isn’t often. She hasn’t invited me over since she walked in on us last Christmas.

I don’t know what she wants from me. I love her son and we are adults.

A doctor walks in with a somber, telling face. His eyes are heavy with regret.

“Is my son okay?” Gertie rushes over clutching his hands, grasping for hope.

The world is moving in slow motion as he speaks.

“Your son has suffered, multiple, devastating injuries. We repaired what we could, but we don’t expect him to survive the night. He’s on life support, and I wish there was more I could do for him. If you’d like to see him, I suggest you do it now and begin making preparations.” His voice is gravely.

At this point I am frozen in place.

His words can’t be true.

I have to get to Joey, he needs me.

I can bring him back.

He will come back for me.

Cassie is collapsed in a chair wailing loudly that this is all her fault. Lewis is doing his best to console her without much luck. Her light brown hair is knotted and wild.

“Mrs. Carwell. Your son is an organ donor; we will need you to go over the paperwork at your convenience, but the sooner you act the sooner we can save other families from this heartache.”

“Oh my God!” I yell snapping out of my stupor. “He’s not dead yet and you already want to harvest him like he is. Fuck you, whatever your name is. Joey is a fighter. He will fight his way back to me!”

“Miss, I’m sorry. I know this is difficult to hear, but Joe has a good heart. His organs could save a lot of lives.”

Gertie is clutching her chest, wavering on her feet. I grip her elbows offering her my support.

“You make me sick. You are disgusting!” I continue to rant as I help Joey’s mom to a chair. “I’ve read stories about sickos like you. You are all too eager to cut up my boyfriend and steal his parts so you can feel like a hero...Well, not today!” I spit at him.

“Miss please calm down, I understand you are upset, but the situation won’t change, he’s brain dead. If you’d like to see him, I’ll take you in myself.”

I am so angry I am shaking. The tears well up and I can’t breathe, a Mac Truck just parked on my chest. Falling to my knees, I throw up all over the doctor’s shoes.

“Goddamnit,” he curses under his breath, leaning down.  He reaches me a tissue from the nearby table. “I’m sorry. I’ve never been good at this, the telling people their loved one is dying. Losing a patient is hard for me believe it or not.”