“No, not
now
it isn’t, but it should have been back when we were together,” he growled, leaning
his elbows on the table. Shit, nothing was coming out right. “I just … I would have
tried to help! I would have tried to make things better for you!”
She grumbled. “You can’t
fix
people, Mason!
I
can’t fix people either. I only just figured this out myself! Maybe it’s time you
did too.” She stood, pushed away from the table, and turned to leave.
Oh no. She wasn’t running.
Nobody
was running anymore. His chair screeched across the sidewalk as he stood to follow
her. He grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him. She stiffened under his touch, but
slowly, she turned around, lifting her sad, thankfully dry eyes to meet his.
“Just talk to me, okay? I’m not asking for anything else here, little beast…”
Yet.
Her chest heaved as she blew out a breath. “I suffered from severe anxiety after Aiden’s
death, and it just … never went away, alright? Everything set it off. I couldn’t control
it. I still can’t fully control it … but I’ve tried. I’ve tried damn hard, and I’m
still trying today,
everyday…” She shook her head. Her words tumbled out so fast, that he almost missed
them.
But her stare never wavered as she glared up at him. Pride radiated throughout his
chest. She was amazing. “Why the hell do you care anyway?
You
left
me!
” His eyes widened, the blow hit him full force, but it was deserved. He
expected
it actually because yes, he was a douche bag.
“I just…” he sighed. “You know the answer to that, Har.”
“Um no, really, I don’t. Care to enlighten me a little?”
“That night,” he pulled at his scalp. He’d be balding before twenty at this rate,
“I just …
I…” He closed his eyes. When in the hell had he become such a stuttering monkey ass?
“You …
the pill thing … I –I didn’t know what to do.” Her eyes fumed with rage. It was almost
impossible for him not to flinch, but he managed to keep a straight face.
“So I freaked you out then?” Her jaw was rigid. She crossed her arms over her chest.
“Grrrr … Harley, come on. Don’t be like that. It’s not always about you!”
“So tell
me
something then if you’re going to play
that
game. Why in the hell
did
you let Kylee crawl all over you?” she whispered, “And kiss you…”
Crap. He didn’t want to go there again. “That’s the thing, Harley.
I
didn’t
let
her do anything. Every single time that girl tried come on to me, I always pushed
her away. I told her that I was with
you,
over and over again. She was just trying to hurt you because she had this freaking
obsession with me, and she wanted you out of the picture.”
He pulled her tighter. His hands gripped her elbows, and her hands went to his chest.
Her
body wasn’t quite as stiff anymore. He smiled internally at the progress. “I tried
so
hard to find you that night, Harley. I swear to God. You needed to know the truth
about what happened, but I failed you. I didn’t get to you on time.”
She sighed. Defeat was obvious on her face as she nodded her head. Her palms were
hot
against his chest. He sucked in her warmth and used it to his advantage. “I had absolutely
no idea that you would go back to that party. If only I would have thought to do that…”
Harley’s eyes softened, and so did his.
Maybe she felt the same way.
“What’s done is done, Mase. There’s no point in hashing out something that you can’t
change.” She looked away. It was as if she was at war with something.
Determined to help fight her battle, he reached up and placed both his hands on the
back
of her neck, drawing her face nearer as she did. He brushed his thumbs over her chin
and cheek.
“Harley, talk to me here. Help me understand what’s happening because right now, I
don’t know think I could go back to not talking to you anymore. Do you understand?”
She batted her lashes at him, and a single tear zigzagged down her cheek. “Mason …”
she sighed, resolve washing over her features. He grinned. She was wavering. “I just
got over the pain of losing you once and I can’t go back to that place in my life
again. I’ve lost too much already.” He nodded. He was prepared for that answer.
Good thing he was ready to convince her otherwise. He wasn’t going to let her get
away.
“I know I screwed up, Har, but you need to know that my leaving was something that
I
had
to do for both of us.”
“How in the hell do you know what’s good for me, Mason? I asked you that before, and
you never answered me. I’m a big girl. I know what makes me happy and what doesn’t.”
“I’m sorry, Harley. I honestly am, but you’ve got to believe me when I say that I
didn’t
know what else to do. You took those pills, and I blamed myself. I blamed myself because
I
drove you to that point, just like I blame myself for not being there to save my dad.”
Her eyes, they were all-knowing, but there were questions lingering in them too. He
could practically hear them. He swallowed. The lump building in his throat wasn’t
getting any smaller.
“Mason, listen to me here. I’ve been dealing with the guilt of my brother’s accident
and
Aiden’s suicide now for years, and it’s taken me all this time to finally realize
that what happened was nothing I could control. Nothing was my fault. Just like it
was not
your
fault that your dad died, and it most definitely wasn’t your fault that I took those
pills and drank all that crap that night.”
She reached up, and grabbed his wrists, tugging them closer to her chest. Mason closed
his eyes at the burn. Warmth and need took over so severely inside of him that he
thought he’d die from the fire currently building inside his chest. His brave little
beast continued on. Her words were final, like she’d practiced them many times before.
“I’ve suffered from depression and extreme anxiety for almost three years now, and
I’ve finally began to get it under control. If I let you back in, can I trust you
not to set me back?”
“I can never guarantee perfection Har, but I can do my best … for you.” This time
he
knew he was making a promise he’d never break. “And so what if we’re both a little
messed up!
Together … we could be so damn right.”
She smiled softly up at him, and with that one small curl of her lips he knew things
were
right and maybe even about to get better. “Come on, little beast. I’m taking you home
with me!”
He wiggled his eyes teasingly at her.
She giggled. “Oh you are now, huh? You think I’ll just fall at your big old feet then?”
She was all sass.
He reached for her hand, interlocking it together with his as they headed towards
the car.
“Hell yeah I do!” She shook her head. She obviously knew he was right. It was about
time she believed him.
In a record five minutes flat they were at his house. Somehow or another, he found
his
hand at the small of her back, ushering her inside to the one place he never thought
he’d bring her. He was excited to show her this little piece of him, to open up this
part of his life that he had kept away for seven months. Granted, it was just a house,
but still…
She removed her sweater as they stepped inside, handing it to Mason. He was drawn
to
the bareness of her smooth back and neck, and he fought for control against his own
damn body.
God, who knew a simple black dress, could be so amazingly … hot?
Harley’s eyes grew wide as she looked around his house. That mega-wattage smile was
bright, perfectly Harley. “Wow, Mason! Your house is gorgeous! I can’t believe how
big it is!”
She stepped out of her flip-flops and moved with ease into their living room. Not
wanting to be apart from her, he lowered his hand to her back again as he guided her
towards his room.
She smiled as she glanced at the few pictures at the wall. It was not as homey as
her
house, but her being there created a heat that it never had before. “Is that you?”
she grinned, nodding towards a picture of him as a toddler, gracing his dad’s lap
as they sat on a floating board. His dad had said he was born to ride the waves, even
at the age of two.
“Yep, that’s me. I looked like a girl with all that white long hair. My mom said that
people used to tell her that I should be in beauty pageants because my hair was so
silky
and
long
.” The sarcasm oozed off of him as Harley ran a finger over the face of the little
boy in the picture.
That little boy was lucky. His dad was still alive, but big Mason had the memories
at
least. And that would have to be enough. “Yeah, Mom used to tell people that I was
her pretty princess boy since I apparently liked dolls and, um, dresses too.” His
cheeks flamed with heat.
God, why was he telling her this? Guess it was sort of payback for the naked pictures
he’d seen of her on the walls of her own house. “But that finally changed when I got
my first board.”
“You were actually pretty adorable back then, Mase. What happ … Oh my god, are those
braids in your hair?” Harley nudged his shoulder. He rolled his eyes.
“You are so done for, little beast!” Mason darted off after her as she sprinted away.
Somehow or another, she managed to find his room, and he chased her in, catching her
the
moment they’d slipped through the doors. He wrapped his arms around her waist, throwing
her across his bed like she weighed nothing more than a rag doll. He crawled over
her, straddled her legs, and pinned both of her hands above her head. Their breathing
went rapid in that moment.
Their stares held tight. Her whispered words were strangled.
That’s when it all changed…
“Mercy…” she whispered back.
His heart clawed at his chest. Harley’s eyes went black as if she knew what he was
thinking. He lowered his head. His long hair spilled over her face, and she gasped
as their noses brushed. He brushed his cheek over her face, taking in the feeling
of her breath and soft skin against his cheek. Their chests rose and fell in unison.
The intensity built a flame between them.
He’d fought for control for too long with her. It was finally time to break free.
He used his free hand to grab her waist, instantly whipping her back up into his lap.
Her legs were positioned on both sides of his body. Their fronts were pressed flush
together, and nothing but her dress and his shirt separated them. Their stares never
once wavered until Harley closed her eyes.
“Mason…” she whispered again. His name on her lips was as wanting as his own. There
was no denying that fact anymore.
“Harley, I need you. Please.” Harley opened her eyes slowly again, and her mouth
formed a sexy little O that he couldn’t help but stare at. Like always, those eyes
of hers sucked him back in.
He waited. His breathing went ragged as she bit her lip, and then she nodded slowly.
In
that moment, he knew, without a doubt, that this was it for him … this was the forever
kind of it.
They were young, but he knew there would never again be another girl that touched
his soul like Harley had. With no regrets and no fear, he sealed his lips to hers
in a personal and secret promise of eternity.
Electric. That was the only word he could think of to describe their kisses. He pushed,
she pulled, and then he was there on top of her again yanking at her dress, his hands
creeping up the side of her leg. She arched her back, pushing against him, raising
her hands above her head, obviously just as eager to get the material off of her body
as he was.
Even after her dress was torn away, it still wasn’t enough.
Her fingers ran through the back of his hair, and he was so damn glad that he’d let
it grow so long because her hands felt incredible in there. He pulled back to stare
down at her perfectly curved body. It was toned, smooth, the epitome of gorgeousness.
His lips curled into a crooked grin as he ran a single finger along the strap of her
bra. She squirmed as her cheeks reddened, suddenly appearing shy as he moved his hands
over every inch of her exposed skin.
“So perfect…” he whispered, bringing their mouths back together.
Then it was apparent that she wanted more because her paced increased, and she slipped
her cool hands under the sides of his shirt. He hissed at the sensation, loving the
gentleness, but hating it at the same time. He wouldn’t be perfectly happy until neither
of them had a single inch of clothing on.
Finally, he did as she silently commanded and lifted his shirt off with a quick, sweep
of
his hand. She giggled, and he grinned just as she ran one of her free hands over the
top of his head. His hair was most likely wild, but that was okay. She made him feel
wild, so if the shoe fit, he’d sure as hell wear the hell out of it. Shivering to
the point of almost being out of control, Mason took his turn, slowly reaching down
to unbuckle his black dress pants. She didn’t hesitate to help him, pulling them down
with her feet. He grinned widely, and she shyly shrugged in
return.
Yeah, he liked this eager version of his little beast.
But behind her needy eyes, he could almost see her fear, and he paused, suddenly worried
that she’d regret their time together once it was over. “Are you sure this is okay,
Harley?” he whispered, leaning down to nuzzle her neck. He took the time to breathe
her in. God, she smelled good. She tasted good. She felt good. She was
too good
for him, but if she accepted him, then he’d do everything in his powers to make her
happy.
He’d never let her regret this, any of it, for her entire life. This was where they
were both meant to be.