When Love Comes Around (Love Conquers All) (6 page)

“Oh, honey, you are so welcome. I knew you and Henry were going to get together after last Christmas. The man kept sniffing around you ever ten minutes.”

The two women laughed, remembering how Henry shamelessly flirted with Joan.

“Did you have a good time?”

“I sure did.” Nita again for the hundredth time threw the trio a scowling gaze. “With the exception of that boy shaking his funky behind all over the place.”

Chuckling, Joan said, “Tell me ‘bout it. Boy young enough to be my grandchild…but, Lawd knows I sure hope Henry can move like that!”

Nita gasped, the younger women snickered. “That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!” Ava yelled, grinning with mischief as she pulled a plastic trash bag from a box on the table.

“Mmm hmm, that’s what I thought.” Nita gave Ava a stern motherly look. “Ought to come over there and whoop your little fast behind.”

Ava covered her mouth, giggling, she was busted. Summer and Starr tried to tell her weeks ago not to hire a stripper. But of course, Ava being Ava hadn’t listened. Blowing a kiss in Nita’s direction, “I love you, Mommy.”

Nita couldn’t resist smiling at Ava. She would never admit it to them, but that young, fine thing gyrating had her eager to get home to James. “I love you too, baby.”

Pulling crape paper from the wall, Starr hadn’t notice Ava coming over to her holding open a trash bag. “Here, you can put that in here.”

Ava let out a soft sigh. Starr hadn’t had much to say to her after their disagreement a week ago. Tonight was no different. She barely said much of anything. When Karen asked, “What’s up with my sister?” Both Ava and Summer hunched up their shoulders. If Starr hadn’t told her sister about her condition, it wasn’t their place to do so.

Clearing her throat, Ava whispered, “Starr, I’m sorry about the other night.”

Starr just looked at Ava. She loved her dearly; however, Ava needed to work on being a bit more tactful. “Av, you really hurt me.”

Dropping her head in shame, she mumbled, “I know I did and I really, really feel bad about it. Do you…think you can forgive me?”

“Of course I can, you’re my friend. But what you said still hurts.”

Ava pulled her friend into a tight embrace. “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She returned the embrace. “Don’t worry about it, Av. I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?” Ava was no dummy. Although Starr was saying one thing with her lips, her eyes told a different story. She was not okay and Ava didn’t know what she could do to make it better.

Feeling like she needed some space, Starr broke the close contact. “I’ll be right back; I have to go to the bathroom.”

With curious gazes, the other women in the room watched the two friends. Everyone noticed how uncharacteristically quiet Starr had been all evening. Usually she was a social butterfly at events such as this. Seeing her talk with Ava was the most anyone had seen her do all night.

Summer let out a sigh of relief. Hopefully with Ava apologizing things would get back on track. She didn’t like it when there was friction between them. All week she listened as Ava went on and on about how she didn’t mean any harm. Summer point blank told her, “Then you need to think about what you’re gonna say, before you say it.” Miserably Ava responded, “I know, I know.”

With her back to the bathroom stall door, Starr massaged her temples. “What a night. I’m so ready to go home…so I can be alone.”

It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy for Joan, really she was. However, it was so hard to put up a front for everyone. She knew they all were wondering why she wasn’t her usual wild and crazy self like she always was at parties. She could see it all in their faces as they asked, “Is everything alright?” Though she tried to get into the spirit of things, especially when the stripper was making Joan blush, her laughter was faked; it was forced. How could she be happy when she felt no hope? Why did it seem everywhere she went she saw pregnant women, or women pushing babies in strollers? A thousand times she wanted to know, “Why can’t that be me?”

All night as she looked at Karen and Summer, a twinge of guilt nipped at her. All week she avoided talking to them. How could she tell them that it was too painful overhearing the pitter-patter and angelic chattering of toddlers and school aged children in the background? Would they think she was over reacting? Or worse, just being jealous of their lives? Most likely they wouldn’t. After all, both women had had their own heartaches to deal with.

Karen one morning woke up the wife of her high school sweetheart, Gregory Johnston, only to be widowed forty-five minutes after he’d left for work. Not wanting to be bothered with driving downtown, Gregory had taken the Regional Rail Line. Karen nearly came undone when a newsflash interrupted Good Morning America announcing a grave commuter accident. The news announcer reported that the signals had somehow crossed resulting in a head on collision of north and southbound trains. It took everything out of her to hold it together as she completed the task of dressing her two small children, Alicia and Kyle, who were at the time one and three years old.

And though Summer had two beautiful children, she was devastated when she start having cramping and spotting during the first trimester of her third pregnancy. An ultrasound confirmed the absence of a fetal heartbeat. Starr remembered how frantic Nick had been when he called her and Ava to give them the news. She also would never forget how they had to help Nick take care of NJ and Autumn because Summer had temporarily shut down for days. All her body would allow her to do was cry, sleep, and then cry some more.

Starr let out a groan,
How can I be so selfish? Why am I pushing away the people who love me the most?
Facing the music, she painfully admitted to herself,
Because I want what they have.

“Starr, you in here?” The familiar voice asked as she squatted looking under each stall.

“Yeah, Karen. I’m coming out so stop looking under the doors.”

Karen gave up a little laugh. Ever since they were little girls, they’d peep under stalls looking for each other, especially at church during Sunday school when one of them tried to get out of having to recite a bible verse. The only safe place to hide had been in the bathroom stall.

Oh boy, I know Karen’s gonna grill me to death. I’m so not up for this,
Starr thought as she mentally prepared herself to deal with her sister. She knew Karen would not leave her alone until she found out what had been troubling her.

Karen leaned against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest as she patiently waited for Starr to come out. She was finally going to find out why Starr was avoiding her like she had some communicable disease.

Alarm over came her as she looked into her baby sister’s red, puffy eyes. Karen’s heart rate accelerated as Starr laid her head on her shoulder for comfort. She hadn’t been this distraught since her Marcus years.

“Hey Starry, what’s going on?”

Automatically Karen’s arms wrapped around her sister and soothingly rubbed her back. She always affectionately called her Starry when something was troubling her. Karen had an uncanny knack of knowing when her baby sister was hurting. Like the first time she’d caught Marcus cheating, it was Karen who for some inexplicable reason had to drive over to Starr’s apartment in the middle of the night to check on her. Or the time their father unexpectedly showed up
again
wanting to play daddy, only to disappear after becoming bored with a wife and two kids. Again, it was Karen who assured her it was their father who had issues and not them or their mother.

Putting all defenses aside, exposing her deepest desire, Starr blurted out, “I want to have a baby.”

Confused, still rubbing Starr’s back, Karen assured her, “Oh, Starry you can have a baby.”

Shaking her head on Karen’s shoulder, she cried, “No, no, it may be too late.”

Karen was still confused. Starr wasn’t making sense. “Huh? I don’t understand?”

Freeing herself from the protective embrace, Starr began telling her story. By the time Starr told her everything, starting with her diagnosis of endometriosis, her contemplation of artificial insemination, and her fall out with Ava, Karen felt slighted. Mostly because she felt like she’d been left out of the loop. Her own sister hadn’t even come to her for support.

Karen didn’t mean to sound disappointed, but she couldn’t keep the hurt from her voice when she asked, “Why didn’t you come to me with this?”

“Because I thought you would have felt the same way Ava had.”

Well, that explained why she was so distant. Karen didn’t think now was the time to tell her she agreed with Ava. All of their lives they dealt with their father’s lack of interest in them. She recalled all the times they had tried to be good little girls by keeping their room clean and doing all their chores, hoping that doing so would keep their father home. It never worked; he’d end up leaving anyway.

Gently taking her by the shoulders, she said, “Starry whatever you decide to do I’m behind you one hundred percent.” Karen paused. She had to say it. She just hoped it came out in love. “But I really want you to pray on this artificial insemination thing. You know what we went through not having Daddy around. Like I said, whatever you decide I’m here for you, all the way, baby sis.”

Starr nodded her head in understanding. “I know you’re right, and so is Ava. That’s why I’m leaning toward adoption.” Lowering her head, she softly admitted, “But I still want my
own
baby. I want to experience carrying my child in my body. Is that so wrong?”

Karen pulled her sister back into her arms. “No Starry, it’s not wrong. Not at all.”

♥♥♥

Oh my God! I look a hot mess!
Starr knew her eyes were bloodshot from all of the crying on her sister’s shoulder. If she had known Kevin, was coming, she would’ve stayed in the bathroom until everyone left. But she knew that that wouldn’t be fair to Joan. This was her night to celebrate her upcoming nuptials and she didn’t want to spoil it. It was bad enough everyone kept asking her if she was okay. Lying through her teeth she pasted on a fake smile telling everyone she was fine. Taking a deep breath, she pulled herself together and pushed her troubles to the farthest corner of mind. Self-consciously she ran her fingers over the smooth hair on her neck.

Joining the group, Starr put on her best smile. “Hey, everybody.”

“How’s my other favorite girl?” James Jackson’s voice boomed as he affectionately swept her up in a hug.

Starr was only too happy to return the hug. Every time she hugged this gentle soul, she wished with everything in her that he belonged to her. That he was the daddy her father had never materialized into. Enjoying the warmth of the fatherly embrace for the moment soothed her aching heart. Yes, James Jackson was her daddy, if only for that moment.

“Thanks, Mr. Jackson, I needed that.”

Playfully he tweaked her nose as if she were a little girl. “Anytime sweetheart.”

“Hey, can another old man get a hug?”

Starr squealed as Henry Stiles squeezed her in a gentle bear hug, released her and then swirled her around as if dancing, into the arms of Nick. Nick continued the playful choreography as he twirled her round and round.

Standing back watching the other men having a good time with Starr, Kevin noticed how the sullen expression she wore when she entered the room had dissipated. He couldn’t explain it, but seeing her so sad had bothered him.

Kevin was slightly caught off guard when a laughing and squealing Starr was hurled into his arms. Quickly recovering, without hesitation he drew the soft feminine body close.

“Nick! I’m gonna kill you!” Starr continued to laugh breathlessly. Attempting to maintain her balance, dainty fingers curled around bulging biceps as her breasts firmly pressed against a set of rock hard pecs.

Starr’s breath caught and held as she felt large hands being planted on her hips holding her in place. Everything and everyone stood still in time. The only thing she was aware of was the loud beating of her heart in her ears and the warmth of a very male body.

Closing her eyes, Starr thought this might be a dream. It had been so long since a man had held her like this. The feel of him, the smell of him, was making her come apart. A soft moan escaped her lips. She could stay in his arms forever.