When Saint Goes Marching In (17 page)

Saint closed his phone and rubbed his head anxiously as he approached his house. He was too upset to see the truth, so he just wondered.

What is going to happen when I get in this house?

* * *

CHAPTER FIVE

Saint sat in his car briefly before opening the seven-car garage door. His heart pounded as he watched it lift slowly, showcasing his man-toys all lined up neatly, one by one.

His infamous white Lexus SUV, even though it was seven years old – he refused to part with it. He had too many good memories attached to it. Next to that was the new car he had bought for Xenia that he would also joyride himself, her fire red Diablo with custom chrome wheels. Memories of teaching her how to drive a stick crept into his mind.

It led to sex afterward, it always led to sex because he was so enamored with her and almost everything she did, he found sexy.

His shiny black Harley with hand-painted blue flames was close by, along with a few other vehicles that he just had to have. Saint pulled inside and turned the car off. He closed his eyes and laid his head on the leather headrest. He immediately felt her energy again, now even stronger as his proximity to her grew.

He opened the car door and made his way across the garage. The heaviness was debilitating. Saint felt as if his heart had been anchored to the floor with each labored step. He perspired heavily as he made his way through the dark, quiet house, and was drenched by the time he reached his bedroom door. Closing his eyes, he placed his hand on the cool doorknob and opened it slowly. The blackness filled the room like air fills a cavity – pain engulfed him immediately. He reached to turn on the light.

“No, leave it off,” Xenia said softly. Saint’s eyes adjusted. As if he were a snake doing nocturnal hunting, a glow surrounded her, illuminating her heat. What was once cloaked in pitch was now vibrant for his eyes only. In the darkness, he saw her shapely silhouette as she sat on her side of the bed, a balled up tissue in her hand and her mascara streaked down her face in long, black, wet, jagged stripes.

“Xenia,” Saint swallowed. “I sent you text messages, I called you. I promise you baby, I didn’t cheat on you. She put something in my drink. Please believe me.” Saint’s heart shattered as he felt her energy totally drained and her sorrow eating at his soul.

“Saint, I took a huge gamble on you, on us,” she murmured, her voice barely audible. “I trusted you. I let you lead me. I never told you ‘No.’ I did everything I thought a good wife should. I followed you, and I’m not a follower, you know that. I let you take the lead and be the man – I was, I am, so in love with you, that no matter what you’ve asked of me, I’ve usually done it. I gave you two babies, two sons.”

“Yes, you did, and I’m grateful for you giving me the two most important people, besides you, in my life.” Saint pushed his hands in his pockets as he looked down at the ground. His heart sank.

 “The pregnancy with Dakarai was hard on me, and you were there waiting on me, taking care of me. You rubbed my feet every night, came to my doctor appointments, helped even more with Hassani and got me whatever I wanted, no matter what time it was. He was born a month early, he was so small. I was worried and you were right there by my side, assuring me everything would be alright. Y
ou told me how beautiful I was, even when I’d be having horrible mood swings or complaining about all the stretch marks I was getting. You would look at me, hold me, and tell me you couldn’t have made me any better than God had, if you were asked to create your perfect mate yourself.”

“And I meant that.” Saint briefly shut his eyes.

“I thought I had found my Superman.” Xenia laughed – a mirthless laugh – as the tears continued to stream down her face. “Everything seemed perfect. I’ve spent the last several years just trying to make my family happy and that made me happy, too. I did everything for you, Saint. Now, our children, the children we wanted and planned, will suffer because of your actions. I never wanted to end up like my mama, struggling as a single parent.”

“What are you talking about?” Saint asked as his eyes glossed over. “You’re not going to…”

“Things I would have never done for another man, I did for you. You went and had sex with another woman and I thought I had secured my spot in your life by showing you how much I loved you, time and time again. Sexually, I made sure you were taken care of and then some. My mama always told me, do what you have to do for your man because whatever you won’t do, another woman will. I don’t recall anything you wanted to try that I didn’t at least try once, and believe you me, Saint, you’ve asked for some pretty raunchy shit! I did it, because I love you and wanted you to be happy and never have to wonder about another bitch taking my place or you feeling like I wasn’t playing for keeps. I know you have a high sex drive; I’ve known that since the day we met. I’ve tried to keep up – I loved making love to you so it wasn’t hard to want to in the first place but you’re just greedy, Saint. Two, three, sometimes even four times a day haven’t been enough! You had to go and get someone else, too.”

“Xenia, I didn’t…”

“I gave you my body completely. I trusted you. I knew with the way we loved one another, everything with you would be different, and it was – or so I thought it was. I see I wasn’t enough after all I’ve done for you.” Xenia’s entire body trembled with anger and sadness. “You got my pussy, my mouth and my even my ass anytime you wanted it. You got to tie me up, flip me around, fuck me in public, blindfold me, fuck me upside down, in your cars – I don’t know how many times – on your boat, all over this damn house and we even fucked on your desk a few times in your office at work because that was your fantasy!” Xenia sniffed. “I always tried to stay creative, buying outfits for role-play, I tried to make sure you’d never look at another woman for sex and I thought you were happy. You told me you were, but you lied. Your appetite is limitless. But worse of all, is the cruelty.”

“Xenia, I need you to believe…”

“Don’t say another goddamn word to me! Just shut your mouth!” Xenia screamed as she pointed her shaky finger up at him. “I’m not finished speaking. You made me crave you! You had me begging you to do all kinds of crazy shit to me, like I was half out of my mind. You turned me out, made me your willing sexual slave. You’re a bottomless well, Saint. There is no filling you up or making you whole. You’re a whore and you’ll always be a whore!”

“Why won’t you believe me, Xenia?” Saint asked, unable to keep the begging from his voice.

“Just like Stacy tried to warn me, you’d never stop needing more women. You were a whore for too long to be able just to snap out of that. It’s in you, it’s who you are. What I do know is that it’s not who I am. You’ve broken my heart completely. I wish I had never met you! That day you came into the studio for the first time was the worst day of my life, I just didn’t know it. Then I foolishly allowed myself to get seduced by you, and you did some shit that blew my mind, and I was addicted to you from that point forward and you knew that was what would happen. You’re like heroine, Saint, and you’re no good for me. The best thing that came from you was from your dick, but not for the reason you think. At least I got two wonderful children out of the deal. Too bad their father is a fucking, lying ass slut!”

Saint shook his head, crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her while he chewed his inner jaw. He narrowed his eyes in the darkness, trying to see the details of her face, but couldn’t. His emotions swung wildly from anger to sadness. He could feel it, though it was naked to the eye – the purple haze slowly flowing from his nostrils as his heart thumped harshly. His entire body felt hot, from head to toe. The flames grew deep inside him as his anger threatened to burst forth. He knew he was losing her, and now his body and sixth sense were malfunctioning like water thrown on open circuitry, upon the sudden awareness.

“I honestly didn’t think you’d ever do anything like this to me!” Xenia continued. “I’m so stupid. Like you always told me, when someone shows you who they are, believe them! You messed around on me, the woman who did everything for you!”

“I didn’t, Xenia,” Saint uttered from his position just inside the doorway.

“Just shut up, Saint! I really can’t even believe this is happening.”

Saint shut his eyes. The whites had turned red and though he couldn’t see the color change, he felt it. They glowed like flames. He tried everything in his power to extinguish the emotions that fueled the psychic glitches as his spirit communicated with his soul mate. He couldn’t reach her and now his frustration was mounting. He felt her further slipping away, while his desperation increased.

 “Now I see, though. I see you were mad about me going back into radio. You fucked me over on my award night. You probably had this shit planned.” Xenia’s voice quaked as she cried a river. Goose bumps covering her arms and legs. “And our children? Look what you’ve done to our family. How can you be a role model for two young boys who will become young men? How can you teach them about love and sex when their own father couldn’t keep his dick in his pants?”

Saint opened his eyes and stepped closer. She looked up at him as he now stood just in front of her. He’d successfully pushed the anger away and made his eyes return to their natural, off white color.

He looked into her eyes, and saw her face better. The black make-up pooled on her cheeks and streaked down like zebra stripes. He reached to touch her face but she turned quickly away.

He lowered his hand and fisted it at his side.

“Xenia, I’m telling you the truth.” He swallowed hard. “None of what you’re saying is true because I didn’t do it.”

She gave a mocking laugh. “You must think I’m dumb as hell, Saint! No, I’m not from New York. I don’t have that born hustle that you have but I’m far from stupid. I have street smarts, you must not know about me. I thought you did, Mister Psychic. Don’t try to play me.”

“Xenia, I’m telling you the truth! All this time you’ve known me, have you ever thought even one time that I was fucking around you? You know you haven’t so why all of a sudden, tonight, on this night of all nights, would I fuck another woman and then let her have my phone and call you, text you, so that we could be where we are here, right here, right now? Don’t you think I’m smoother than that? I’ve always been upfront with past women. I let them know they weren’t the only ones and when I decided I wanted to commit, when I had found the one, my one, that being you, I never thought about boning anyone else, ever. I had to have been incapacitated for this sort of shit to go down! She fucking drugged me and sexed me without my permission!” Saint yelled. “I’m the victim here. She is mad at me for how I had treated her in the past. This woman is an ex-girlfriend of mine, Xenia. I saw her a few months ago and…”

“You saw her a few months ago and I’m just now hearing about it? Really, Saint? You’re about as trustworthy as a snake that hasn’t eaten in two weeks. Get the fuck out of my face.” Xenia waved at him, disgust tingeing her every word.

But he didn’t leave. Instead, he grabbed her arm and yanked her up from the bed.

“Xenia, please! Look me in my eyes! Do I look like I’m lying to you?” he pleaded fiercely.

Xenia
searched his face, uncertainty in hers. “Saint, I know what my eyes saw. The eyes don’t lie. You weren’t fighting her, you weren’t trying to get away, and for all I know, you may not have even known she had your phone. There have been a few times when you and I made love and you were totally oblivious that your phone was buzzing. Sometimes I’d pick it up and look at it to see who was calling and you didn’t even seem to notice. You know damn well you were there willingly. Well, you know what? I’m leaving willingly. I’m going to pack up some of my stuff and get the boys ready to go.”

“You’re not listening. God, I hate this about you! Once you get something in your head, no matter what I say, you don’t believe me, shit! I’m still paying, six years and two kids later, for what other mothafuckas did to you. I’ve never once given you a reason to not trust me.”

“Don’t try to blame this on my ex-boyfriends or my past, Saint. This was you, and you alone.”