âBeth, we're here.' As if by magic Oliver came running towards them between the rows of vegetables. âThis morning Mum didn't send me on and then come on her bike. No, we walked together. Good morning Mrs H. Is it all right for Beth to come to the common, or has she got to work? I'll do jobs if you like. Mum's saying hello to Mr H. She said I had to tell you she'll come and see you in a minute.'
âMy word, Ollie, I'm spoilt for choice with so many workers. Thanks for offering, love. By this afternoon when we're getting the order together for the shop I may be glad of a hand, but you two run off and enjoy yourselves.'
They didn't need twice telling. Like cage birds finding the door left open, they were off. Kathie laid down her hoe and went to change the position of the sprinkler. There had been no rain and she had to make sure not a square foot of the field missed out. This was a job she found more difficult than most. The water hydrant was deep in the ground about halfway down the field and the water had to be turned on and off with a long metal pole. First she turned it off, then she moved the heavy four inch diameter hose further towards the end of Westways' land, then back to the hydrant to turn the water on again. It was as she started back to where she'd been hoeing that she heard the sound of Claudia's laugh. Tempted by the sound she walked to where she had a glimpse of the patch of grass. What a dear Claudia was! There she sat crossed legged on the ground in front of Den's chair, clearly telling him some story that was lifting his spirits.
It was Den who noticed her and called, âHere a minute, Kathie.' It looked such a happy scene, she was glad to join them.
âI've been telling Dennis about my weedy patch and trying to persuade him to use his brainbox to advise me what I ought to do with it,' Claudia said as Kathie got within earshot.
âAnd what have you come up with, Den?'
âNothing. How could I without even seeing the plot and knowing.'
Looking as excited as a child promised a treat, Claudia took up the tale.
âThat's easily remedied. I can take him and, once we're there, the brick paths are wide and very wheelchair friendly, he can potter around by himself. You haven't got a spare hoe we can take along have you, Kathie? I tell him I'm open for all the help I can get and if he can loosen the roots, I can grapple with removing the weeds.'
âDo you want anything other than a hoe, Den?' Kathie asked, purposely letting him see that he was in charge of the expedition.
âMaybe a rake might be useful. There are no tools there. What about that length of tarpaulin we've had for years and never use. With no wheelbarrow, Claudia can rake the weeds and dead growth into a pile on the canvas, then she can haul it to wherever looks the best spot for a bonfire.'
âThere, you see!' Claudia proclaimed triumphantly. âDidn't I tell you it makes no difference whether it's peas or petunias, gardening is gardening.'
Dennis's laugh was spontaneous and, hearing him, Kathie realized it was the first time she'd heard that sound since they'd lost Jess.
âI'll get the things you'll need,' she told them, as excited at the thought of the project as they were themselves. âCan you manage them on your knee, Den? They're awkward and the tarpaulin is heavy.'
âRubbish. If you'll get them from the shed, I'm sure I can nurse them on my lap.'
With hope in her heart she held the garden gate open for Claudia to push the chair into the lane. This was only day one and already he was starting to get into his stride. Still watching them as Claudia negotiated most of the rock-hard ruts in the unmade track, did she imagine it or did she actually hear Den laugh? What she certainly didn't imagine was just as they were about to be lost to view around a curve in the lane they met Bruce. Briefly they stopped to speak. The previous day, knowing Den was expected to arrive, Bruce hadn't been to Westways, so this was the first time she'd seen him since those stolen moments the evening before last. She had said they must forget, but how could she? If she lived to be a hundred, she wanted the memory never to fade.
âYou must feel very proud, Kathie,' he greeted her as she held the gate open for him, his tone telling her that he meant to keep his word and âforget' their brief moment of forbidden truth. âI don't think I could accept with his sort of courage.'
âI think you could if you had Claudia to take you out to play,' Kathie laughed, acting her role. Neither of them were prepared to admit to hearing unnatural brightness in their voices.
âAs you see, I'm not dressed for labouring. I just called in to tell you that I'm going away for a few days. I have an elderly uncle in Bath. Poor old boy, he lives alone with just a daily. Ethel is almost as old as he is himself and has looked after him for as long as I can remember. I usually have a few days with him during the holidays. He telephoned me yesterday and I could tell from his manner that he could do with company. You'd get on well with him, Kathie. He's over ninety but his mind is rapier sharp.'
âYou'll do him a power of good, and I expect enjoy your stay every bit as much as he will.' What a game of lies this was.
âIndeed, yes. As I say, he is remarkably good company. So Dennis is going to give Claudia guidance with that overgrown patch she calls garden.'
Like an amateurishly dull game of tennis with the ball being lightly sent backwards and forwards over the net, no hard hitting, no clever shots, so the conversation continued. Only when he turned towards the gate to leave her did her control snap.
âBruce!'
Immediately, he turned towards her. Retracing his steps, knowing they were being wrong and foolish, yet neither with willpower enough to put a brake on where they were heading. The small, enclosed porch by the front door was only feet away and instinct turned them into it. Cut off from the world, even though there were no prying eyes to see them, for one brief moment they clung to each other.
âNo!' She was the first to draw away. âWe promised.'
He took her hand, a hand hardened by work on the land, and carried it to his face.
âCareful, it's as rough as sandpaper.' She tried to bring a lighter note. Her heart was thumping; she had a million butterflies in her stomach. âBruce . . . we promised, but how can we pretend? What can we do?' She wasn't crying, how could she be when there were no tears? Yet her whole body was shaking as dry, rasping sobs shook her. Tenderly he drew her into his arms.
âI know, my darling Kathie, inside I feel half dead with misery. Years and years ahead of us, making a charade of our lives. Could you play it differently? Could I?' He felt the movement against his cheek as she shook her head. âLying awake last night I thought of you with him, of how he must have longed to be as he used to be. I saw you lying in his arms. I even forgot his injuries as I pictured him making love to you. I'd never realized that jealousy could fill me with such hatred. Then, I felt sick with shame that I could resent a man who had lost his future â and, with Jess, so much of his past too. You are all he has.'
This time he knew she nodded.
âAnd I
do
love him, of course I do. Are we kicking against losing our youth? Are we pining for romance to fill our lives?'
This time his laugh was natural. âI'm not pining for it; it seems to have taken possession of me. And as for
you
, you have a spark of eternal youth. Never let it die, Kathie.' Then holding her away from him and speaking in a matter-of-fact voice, he continued, âI had a second reason for coming this morning. There are still three weeks before the Brockleigh term starts. I can't kick my heels at the Hall, keeping away from here as I must. So when I leave Bath I shall take a train to . . . to . . . I'm not sure, but somewhere where I can be alone and walk. I have to be back a week or so before the start of term but we
must
have some time apart, where we can't be tempted to see each other.'
She nodded. He had talked of the hopelessness of Dennis's future, but at that moment if she tried to look ahead she seemed to see nothing but years of joyless monotony.
âMay Nanny continue to bring Elspeth here? You won't hold it against her that this has happened to us?' His question surprised her. In her mind there was no connection between poor childlike Elspeth and the torment of her own feelings for Bruce.
âSilly question! Of course they're welcome to come as often as they like. Beth looks on walking with Elspeth as her special prerogative.'
âBeth is an unusual child. I have watched them together, and I don't think there is anyone â anyone at all other than Beth â who can bring that look to Elspeth's face. She comes to life. Not as a woman, but with all the innocent joy of a child. Beth was lucky when she was sent into your care; but you are privileged to be her mentor.'
They faced each other as they talked, but they didn't quite let their eyes meet.
âI must get on,' she said with a too-bright smile. âI have a market garden to run.'
âYes.' He moved towards the entrance of the porch but stopped before he stepped out onto the front path. âKathie,' he said and there was no way he could keep the emotion from his voice, âdon't let us â all this â don't let it get in the way of finding the happiness you and Dennis used to know. He needs all the love you can give. What was it you said the other evening, that this is just midsummer madness.'
âYes,' she said tonelessly, like an obedient child. Then, the words coming in a rush, she added, âBruce, don't stay away from us. Even neighbours can be friends. Den hasn't a jealous streak in him and he'd never consider even midsummer madness possible for me. Promise when you come back you'll come â I don't mean to work, you'll be busy at school â but just as a friendly neighbour.'
âHe might like some male company.'
She too had moved towards the front garden and for a moment their hands met and gripped before he walked down the short path and into the lane.
Although Sedgewood was miles away from the dogfights which were taking place in the skies over the south east of the country, people everywhere listened to each news bulletin and despite an underlying fear for what might lie ahead, a new pride was being born. And when late in September Winston Churchill's voice was carried to every corner of the land proclaiming that ânever had so much been owed by so many to so few' there was a surge of hope. The end may be a long way off, but this was the end of the beginning. The threat of invasion had been lifted by the courage of young fighter pilots. The newspapers referred to the Battle of Britain, a battle fought and won in the skies and, coming so soon after the retreat from Dunkirk, it added steel to the people's determination.
At the start of a fresh school year in the third week of September a new working party took up the cudgels in the market garden. On the first Saturday morning of term Bruce came to introduce them to their first insight into the working world. Sally and Sarah looked on from behind the shield of runner beans; they were seventeen and considered themselves too adult to be attracted to mere schoolboys. In fact, back in June when Bert had spent much of his leave working at Westways, Sarah had brought her Brownie box camera to work with her. He had given her no encouragement, neither had she needed any. Ten years older than her, perhaps he had a girlfriend in the village. Sarah knew nothing about his life and she was young enough to find all the excitement she craved in keeping his pictures, listening to his name being mentioned and weaving her dreams around the time when another leave would bring him back to Sedgewood.
âHere, Sal,' she hissed to her friend further along the row of beans, âlook at the one talking to Mr Meredith. Bet he's outgrown his school cap! Gorgeous, isn't he.'
Sally had already noticed the good-looking dark-haired lad with the headmaster, but she wasn't going to admit to her interest, not even to Sarah.
âHope he's as strong as he looks. That's what we need here, Sarah, someone with brawn to help with the winter digging. Mrs H'll have to use the digger like she did last year but think how rotten it'll be for him to have to sit doing nothing while she struggles with it.'
âMaybe that's what she'll set the boys to do. She won't have that much time herself, not with him to look after. She must have to do everything for him â however could she get him in a bath? If he were mine he'd have to stay dirty.'
They laughed good-naturedly, enjoying the images that sprang to mind, but not without sympathy. Then, sizing up the spoils of their labours, they decided that they had plenty to box up for the school delivery.
âClaudia's come,' Sally observed, âbut she seems to have given up helping in the garden.'
âGot a garden of her own these days. She looks so sort of posh and better than everyone else, but when you get to know her I reckon she's great. I miss having her working here, don't you?'
âYes, she â what was it my old gran used to say about anyone who made everything seem like fun? It was something like being “a bit of God-given sunshine that warms the soul”.'
âA bit mushy, but it's sort of right. See how Mr H perks up when she comes for him,' Sarah said, having a good view of the patch of grass from behind her shield of runner bean leaves. âI wonder Mrs H doesn't feel her nose is being put out of joint.'
âDon't be a nit,' Sally laughed. âClaudia may be a bit of God-given sunshine, but she's not likely to fall for poor Mr H. And I expect it's a relief to have him occupied for the day; it must be an awful strain on Mrs H to watch after him and work in the field too. Let's go and weigh up what we've picked and put them with the other things for the school.'
The handsome young lad with Bruce was forgotten as Kathie bore him away to initiate him and the other two who had come for the first shift into the tasks she had lined up. Claudia wandered over to say hello; Bruce went to talk to Dennis before returning to the school, then while Kathie and her team of three boys and two girls set to work, Claudia went back to Dennis.