When the Stars Threw Down Their Spears: The Goblin Wars, Book Three (22 page)

“What exactly were you promoting?” Raynor asked.

“My business. When I’m on the clock, people who have computer systems they think can’t be broken into pay me to try. After I break in, I tell them how it can be done and they fix it. It helps them keep the bad guys out.”

“You always get in?”

“There is always a way.”

“And when you are not on the clock?”

“Then I find missing apes to impress pretty ladies.” He winked at Abby. “And I understand we’re in a hurry here.” He spotted the computer on the other side of the room. “I’ll need to plug into your cable.” He set his briefcase on the desk and pulled a battered old laptop out. “I buy reconditioned computers for burners. Like a burner phone? Use it once, and throw away. I don’t know what kind of nasty surprises Tea’s cousins might have left behind, and I don’t want to risk any of my good systems. Do you have a password for the computer at work?”

“Yes,” Teagan said. “It’s
Daktari
. Capital
D
, with a
K
. We all use the same password.”

Jing shook his head. “Really,
really
bad idea. Bad password, too. Get them to change it as soon as I’m done.” Jing was so focused on the computer now he didn’t seem to notice that they were all staring at him.

“Dead end,” he said at last. “My best guess from looking at this is that we might be able to follow the trail through the FDA computer system.”

“Like the guys who test drugs?” Abby asked. “
That
FDA?”

“The Food and Drug Administration has jurisdiction over research chimps,” Teagan said.

Jing took a thumb drive from his pocket. “My private key, and the keys for my friends. I need to send some e-mails. Most of my people are at school or work right now, but Ninja-Skitters and Spatzgirl might be around. I’ll start with them. The FDA’s not very exciting, but someone might be using it as a back door into something more interesting.”

“NinjaSkitters?” Abby asked. “That sounds like a disease.”

“One you never want to catch. Skitters is a social engineer. He calls people up claiming to be tech support and asks for access to their computer. Most people hear ‘tech support,’ their brains turn off and they do what they’re told.”

“Leave it to the experts, right?” Abby stepped closer. “So, Spatzgirl is, like, a klutz?”

“Spatz. Not spaz. And he’s not a girl. Spatz thinks breaking firewalls is fun.” He hit Send a second time, and pushed his chair back.

“Now what?”

“Now”—he took a DVD from his briefcase—“we watch a little Faust.”

“I’ve always hated
Faust
,” Raynor said.

“Really?” Jing looked surprised. “Why?”

“I’m an angel. For some reason, the story of a man who makes a deal with the devil and is dragged screaming into hell has never seemed relaxing to me.”

“Ah.” Jing nodded. “I was referring to Lauren Faust. Story-boarded for
My Little Pony
’s reboot season. A newer classic.”

Abby squealed. “You’re a brony!”

Raynor was looking completely blank.

“You know,” Abby said, “bro-plus-pony. Brony, right?”

“My Little Pony,”
Jing said, “is a chillaxation show full of retro-goodness and sparkly social commentary. Sit and watch. You’ll like it.”

Mamieo and Aiden came through the front door, and Raynor used their arrival as an excuse to escape to the kitchen. Teagan glanced at the clock.
Three already
. Zoë Giordano was going to be over soon for her appointment with Aiden. Things were about to get complicated. Keeping the sprite and
cat-sídhe
out from underfoot would be difficult enough. But as an employee of the state, Zoë would likely take a dim view of hacking into the FDA’s computer systems. Teagan made hasty introductions.

“Aiden,” Jing said, shaking his hand. “The Choirboy Abby’s been telling me about. The man with the music. Come watch a little tube with us.”

“I’ve got to get my whip first,” Aiden said, and ran upstairs.

Teagan left Mamieo, Abby, and Jing glued to the sparkly social commentary while she went upstairs to find Grendal. Aiden passed her in the hall, dragging his whip behind him.

The
cat-sídhe
was curled on Roisin’s bed. He opened one eye when Teagan sat down beside him.

“You have mange,” she said. “I brought some medicine that should help. You should be feeling better within a couple of days.”

He shivered when she applied the medication between his shoulder blades. “Zoë is coming over to dance with Aiden. So be careful if you come downstairs.” Zoë had managed to avoid tripping over Grendal or sitting on Lucy at her last visit. Still, Teagan wasn’t taking any chances.

“Roisin?” the
cat-sídhe
asked.

“She’s still out with Thomas. Do you need anything? A drink? Something to eat?”

“Nnnooow.” Grendal yawned hugely and closed his eyes.

Teagan went down the maid’s stair to the kitchen. Raynor was standing over his Indian Four.

“It’s all put together,” Teagan observed as she opened a drawer and took out a bag of M&M’s.

“Almost.” Raynor wiped a smudge from the gas cap. “Almost ready to roar.”

“Aiden’s dance therapist is coming over in a little bit,” Teagan said, pouring candy on the countertop. Lucy zipped into the room. The sprite had incredible hearing when it came to the sound of colored candy coating hitting a hard surface. She flashed and chirped at the sight of the riches, then scooped up a chocolate and headed for her teacup. The chocolate stupor would keep her out of the way for a few hours at least.

“Zoë doesn’t know anything about sprites,
cat-sídhe
, Highborn, or goblins. Aiden tells her about it, but she thinks it’s coming from my mom’s books. Please try not to do or say anything . . . strange around her.”

“Have you ever seen me do anything strange?” Raynor asked.

Teagan looked at the motorbike.

“Lots of people do mechanics in their kitchen,” Raynor said.

“TEAGAN!” Abby bellowed from the living room.

“Got to go,” Teagan said. “I just wanted to give you a heads-up.”

When she stepped into the living room, a white and pink Pegasus pony was frozen in midflight on the TV screen, and everyone was gathered around Jing at the computer.

“The universe must love you, Teagan Wylltson,” he said. “Whatever you are.”

Teagan felt Finn’s sizzle before he stepped in from the kitchen. He must have just come up from the basement.

“What’s all the caterwauling?” he asked. “It would wake the dead. Oh, it’s you, Gabby. I should have known.”

“Mind your manners, boyo,” Mamieo said. “We have company.”

He rubbed his eyes and squinted at Jing. “You’re the man who threw the desk. Thanks for the help.”

“I hear you caught up with the bast—” Jing glanced at Aiden. “Creature.”

“I did,” Finn agreed.

“So,” Teagan asked, “did you find Oscar?”

“Not quite. Spatz knew someone who had a back door into the FDA. He is willing to trade for . . . something I have.”

“Jing’s on it,” Abby said.

“I’m a wizard of silicon and cyberspace.” Jing cracked his knuckles, then started to type. “A paragon. A master, who usually works his trade in secrecy.”

“Like a superhero,” Aiden whispered.

“Just like that, my little man. No record of an ape picked up on that date. No record of that shipping number. Your goblin deleted it. Deleted it from the shipper’s backup copy, too.”

“So you can’t find him?”

“Don’t talk crazy,” Jing said. “Of course I can. I’m in the system and the box went somewhere. Which means there was an arrival scan. Somebody somewhere scanned that label, found no record of it, and shoved it in the corner to figure out later. So, I check the records for that. There are all kinds of systems in place to keep shipments from getting lost forever. This would only have slowed things down a few days.”

Only long enough for Oscar to die alone in the dark
.

“Wait for it . . . wait for it . . . got him!” Jing put both arms up as if he’d scored a goal. “Your ape is in a shipping container at the docks. Do you want him delivered to your doorstep?”

Tea let a huge breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “He’s a full-grown chimpanzee. He could pull a man’s arm off. Probably
would
pull someone’s arm off after what he’s been through.”

“And I thought I was here to rescue a cuddly little creature.”

“Cindy likes to cuddle him,” Teagan said.

“This man’s a
fan
of cuddling.” Jing grinned at Abby, who flushed red. “So we’ll send him on home to Cindy. Lincoln Park Zoo, is it?”

“How fast can you get him there?”

“I can have him there by tomorrow morning. Special delivery. It will cost a little more, but I can divert funds from an account belonging to a very bad man”—Abby cleared her throat—“or maybe not.”

“That’s too long, anyway,” Teagan said. “He might be dead by then.”

“How about I just flag it for Homeland Security? They could have someone there right away.”

“Good idea,” Teagan said.

“No.” Abby grabbed Jing’s arm as he started to type. “Uncle Gregorio forgot his bag on the curb at O’Hare last year. You know what they did? They
blew up his underwear
, that’s what they did. Because the bag was suspicious, right?”

“Right.” Jing pushed away from the keyboard. “No Homeland Security.”

“Plus,” Abby went on, “they’re already looking into the park, and maybe the Wylltsons. Give the Feds enough dots, and they’ll connect them to get the picture.”

“Or at least figure out who’s in the middle of it.” Jing leaned back. “So what do we do?”

“Can you tell if anyone is on the system at work?” Teagan asked.

“Sure,” Jing said. It took him a moment to get back onto the zoo server. “Agnes Benson is logged in. You want me to drop the information in her lap?”

“Could you?”

“Maybe. If she’s looking.” Jing went to work again. He glanced up when Thomas and Roisin came in the door. Roisin stormed through the room without stopping to say hello and ran up the stairs.

“How many people live in this house?” Jing asked.

“All of us,” Aiden said.

“John Wylltson is the only one missing,” Mamieo said. “He’ll be along.”

“Mr. Librarian.” Jing tapped a key. “I know him well.”

“Is Roisin okay?” Abby asked Thomas. “She don’t look too good.”

Thomas just shook his head. “What’s going on here?”

Teagan introduced Jing and explained as briefly as she could. “They just diverted the crate. I don’t understand why they didn’t just take Oscar and kill him.”

“They enjoy torture,” Thomas said.

“So they wanted him to die of thirst?”

“They wanted you to know he died of thirst. That he could have been saved, if only you’d found him.”

“But the outside of the crate would be clearly marked ‘Live Animal Inside.’ Someone could have called.”

“Never underestimate the power of human apathy,” Thomas said. “Highborn goblins wager on it. Nine times out of ten, they win.”

Teagan’s phone rang.

“I found him.” Agnes’s voice was hoarse from crying. “I found Oscar. Dr. Max is on his way. I did it, Tea, and I don’t have any idea how. Shit. I’m starting to believe in glitter farts. I’ve got to make some other calls.”

“This time”—Teagan snapped her phone shut—“the goblins lose.”

Twenty

T
HE
door opened once more, and everyone turned as Mr. Wylltson stepped in.

“Hello, Jing,” he said. “It’s good to see you.”

“And you, sir.”

“Jing just saved Oscar,” Aiden announced. “With his computer.”

“Just tracked a package,” Jing said. “But it was amazing.” He looked up at Abby. “Do I get a kiss?”

“From the monkey?” Abby shrugged. “You can ask him.”

“I’d prefer a kiss from an Italian goddess.”

“Yeah? I’ll take you to meet Zia Sophia. If she likes you, then maybe we’ll talk.”

“
Talk?
Doesn’t a knight-errant deserve a reward?”

“See, that’s what we’re going to talk about. I don’t give any parts of this package”—she motioned the length of her body—“out as rewards. I’m not saying there won’t be any rewarding. I’m just saying it will be mutual if there is.”

“Mu-tu-al.” Jing pressed his hand to his heart. “I
swear
to give as good as I get.”

“Yuck,” Aiden said. “Why is everybody talking about kissing all the time?”

“Speaking of which.” Mr. Wylltson pulled an envelope from his jacket pocket. “This, Mr. Mac Cumhaill, contains your quest.”

“His what?” Jing asked.

“His quest,” Mr. Wylltson said. “Something any errant knight would understand.”

Aiden ran to the door. “Mr. Seamus McGillahee,” he announced, pulling it open.

“Are there currently any traps or sprites in the room?” Seamus asked.

“No,” Aiden said. “I have a whip now, and Lucy’s in the kitchen.”

“Excellent.” Seamus stepped inside. “Deneux has been chewing my ear off, Mac Cumhaill. It seems you were not very helpful during your interview.”

Finn just shrugged.

“What’s this about a quest, John Paul?” Mamieo asked, and Teagan winced. The old woman had been in another room during that discussion. This was not the time to bring it up.

“John Wylltson’s written down what I’ve got to do before I can marry his daughter,” Finn said.

“
Ask
her to marry you,” Mr. Wylltson corrected.

“Negotiating a pre-nup?” Seamus glanced at Teagan and then at Finn. “You should never bargain with a
sídhe
.”

“I’m not bargaining,” Teagan said.

“But you’re involved. That’s enough. Maybe you should let me have a look, Mr. Wylltson—”

“No.” Teagan and Finn spoke at the same time, but Mr. Wylltson looked thoughtful.

“Perhaps we should talk later, Seamus,” he said.

Teagan took Finn’s hand. “Dad, you can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I don’t mean talk about this.” He waved the envelope. “I’ll put this on the shelf behind the change jar. Six months after we are through the current crisis you can open this envelope, Mr. Mac Cumhaill.”