When You Make It Home (8 page)

He picked an apple from the fruit basket and tossed it in the air. “Hey, don’t blame me because you excel at being deceptive.” His voice was casual, but I sensed undercurrents of hostility. If I were a dog, my hackles would have been raised; I was in no mood for his brand of nonsense.

I turned to face him. “Oh, what difference does it make to you?” I snapped, shaking the paring knife in his direction. “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

“Point taken—I’ll leave you alone. You don’t have to wave that knife at me.” He took a bite out of the crunchy apple.

Tired of pretenses, I let my guard down. What did I have to lose? “Why didn’t you come see me again… after the other night?” I cringed at how pathetic I sounded.

“You left without saying goodbye. I’m not dense, Meg.” His gaze traveled down to look at my belly. “Anyway, you’ve got enough problems, you don’t need me around.” His focus returned to the apple. When he took another bite, his lips glistened with the juice. As I watched him chew, my mind went blank.

He looked up at me.

“Don’t call my baby a problem.” I blinked and stepped back. “I overslept. I had to pick Ellie up for our doctor’s appointments, and I was late.”

“Nice excuse, but you could’ve left your number,” he shot back.

“You know where I work, you know where I live—you can come by any time you want.” My eyebrows shot up. “How was I to know you were waiting for an invitation?”

Jake walked in through the back door with the burgers covered in foil. He shook the rain from his disheveled brown hair. “You guys ready to do this?” He looked from Theo to me.

“Let the fun begin.” Theo tossed the half-eaten apple in the trash and pushed away from the counter, returning his weight onto his crutches. He followed Jake to the dining room.

I took my frustration out on an unlucky pepper and a defenseless tomato. Why had I let Theo get under my skin again?

Ellie came in with Steve on her heels and paused to close her umbrella. “I can’t take it anymore. I won’t be able to eat until I find out what we’re having.” She rushed to the dining room, leaving me alone with Steve.

I focused on tossing the salad. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught him glaring at me. I sighed, reluctantly turning to him. “Look, let’s keep it together for Ellie tonight, and we’ll hash it out tomorrow.”

“Deal.” Steve took the salad from me, and we made our way down the hall to the dining room.

Jake motioned us to our seats. “She’s tearing the envelope.” Jake hovered near Ellie as if she were a feather floating to the ground, and repositioned himself around her, making sure she stayed adrift. I wanted to know the pleasure of someone holding me up. But maybe some of us were meant to hit the ground. Otherwise we’d never learn to bounce. I could bounce.

Ellie’s hands shook as she unfolded the paper. “A boy!”

Jake wrapped Ellie in his arms, stroking the sides of her face, murmuring to her.

“Congratulations, Uncle.” Steve gripped Theo’s hand. Then he turned to Jake. “It’s a boy!” They high-fived.

I hugged Ellie. “Yours better be a girl,” she whispered. “I have a closet full of pink.”

The festive energy made the time fly by. Jake, at the head of the table with Ellie and me on either side of him, kept the conversation going. Steve sat on the other side of me. The casual observer wouldn’t have noticed how much tension hung between Steve and me—except when our elbows would bump, and he’d jerk away as if I’d poisoned him. He cheerfully joined in with ideas and questions about Ellie’s plans for the baby’s room. I didn’t pay any attention to Theo at the other end of the table. Instead, I put all my energy into pretending everything was fine.

After dinner we moved into the living room, and Ellie brought out coffee and a plate of her famous brownies. My anxiety slipped away once she sat with me and we compared our growing bellies. I had tuned out the men, only taking in the soothing melody of their voices mingling. So when the conversation turned abruptly back to me, it took me a moment to catch on.

“Since everyone else here is already clued in, what does Bradley think about all this?” Steve said. The room went quiet. One of my worst fears hit me: Steve assumed Bradley was the baby’s father.

“Not now, Steve,” I pleaded.

“Come on, Meg, don’t tell me that even Bradley doesn’t know you’re pregnant?”

He waited for me to speak.

“No, he doesn’t know.”

Steve’s jaw clenched. “Crap, Meg—if I was going to be a dad, I’d want to know. This isn’t only about you.”

“Leave her alone, man.” Theo’s tone was low, but firm. All eyes turn to him.

“Stay out of this!” Steve snapped back, and Ellie gave me a pained look.

“Let’s all calm down,” Jake said.

I got up because I knew I had to leave once I revealed the truth. Turning back to the room with my arms crossed in front of me, I took a deep breath.

“Wait a minute,” Steve said, the hard look on his face made it clear he’d had enough of my vagueness. “I’m calling Bradley, tonight. He has a right to know.”

I blinked, still trying to work out how to explain
that
part of the truth.

Theo crossed the room to Steve. “Back off, man,” he barked, getting right in Steve’s face. “It’s not your place.”

“Dude, I’m not going to fight a man on crutches—move out of my way.”

“Steve…” I looked around the room, trying to mask my embarrassment. “Bradley did not get me pregnant.”

His eyes narrowed. “Who, then?”

“After Bradley and I broke up, Jason and I reconnected… on Facebook.”

“Are you
kidding
me?” Steve’s hands were knotted into tight fists at his sides. “Why haven’t I seen him around? Did he get a divorce? Did you tell him?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Meg.” Steve closed his eyes. “How many times are you going to let that dirtbag hurt you?”

“Yes, he knows.” I nodded. “He’s back with his wife.”

Chapter Five

T
hunder boomed as I raced, splashing through puddles, across Ellie’s rain-soaked lawn. Rain pummeled me and seeped through my layers of clothes. I fumbled with my keys. Shivering, I bit down on my lip. I flung the car door open and collapsed onto my seat, choking out sobs. I jammed my keys into the ignition, managed to start my car, but couldn’t calm myself, trembling as rain and tears dripped from my face.

The car door flew open.

My gaze shot to Theo. “Have you not had enough of the train wreck of my life? Go away!” I yelled over the downpour drumming against the car.

Lightning flashed, illuminating Theo. “Scoot over to the other side. I’ll drive.” At first I didn’t move. “Listen, I got my driving leg, and that’s all I need to get you out of here. I’ll take you home.” His calm manner and words were exactly what I needed. I wanted home.

When I climbed across to the passenger’s side, he tossed his backpack and crutches into the back and situated himself in the driver’s seat.

At first we drove in silence. I sat with my back angled toward him, dragging fingers through my wet hair. Theo deftly maneuvered through the downpour. His driving kept me preoccupied. It hadn’t occurred to me that he could still drive.

He glanced my way. “I keep my old chopper in Mom’s garage. A Harley-Davidson.” He spoke as if he were talking about a lover. “I miss her. It’s only a matter of time before I ride her again.”

I looked at his profile in the darkened car and tried to imagine him racing down the highway on a bike. I figured he needed more than time to get back on a bike, but I could imagine his long, hard body straddling a motorcycle, his face set in an unapproachable, cool-guy expression. Theo was hot enough to pull off any variation of the American bad boy.

“Why can’t you get a car, like everyone else?” I asked.

“Because I’m not everyone else.” He rubbed his hand over the top of his head. “Who’s Jason?”

“My best friend growing up.
Our
best friend. Twins share everything, you know?” Leaning my head against the cool glass of the car window, I sighed. “He lived down the street from us. The three of us did everything together.”

Theo nodded, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Well, until high school when Jason and I started dating. He was my first love.”

Remembering that time still made me sad, not for the loss, but for how easy and simple falling in love was back then, full of naive dreams that things were meant to be. I shuddered to think about all those years I had wasted, heartbroken over him.

“Steve didn’t take it well?”

“No, he had it out with Jason. Steve’s always been extremely protective of me. My relationship with Jason had destroyed his friendship with Steve. But I couldn’t stop seeing Jason. First love is powerful. It consumed me. It also put a huge strain on my relationship with Steve.”

Theo gave me a knowing look.

“We were all going to go to University of Texas, but out of nowhere, Jason decided to move over an hour away and go to Baylor. He promised me nothing would change between us, but once he left, I didn’t hear from him again.”

The corners of Theo’s mouth turned down as he drove through the dark streets.
“What?”

“I know. I couldn’t understand it either. I went to confront him. We’d only been apart for a month. I thought maybe he needed to see me to remember what we had. A girl answered his door. She was alone. I told her I was his girlfriend, and she said Jason told her he’d dumped me. So I turned around and went home.”

Theo shook his head in disbelief. “He didn’t call you?”

“No. But I waited anyway. For a long time I believed he’d come back. But he never did. I learned later that Jason married the girl after she got pregnant. For a while I wanted to be Jason’s pregnant wife more than I wanted anything else.” I was fully aware of the irony of what I was saying. “But Jason moved on without even telling me goodbye.”

“That story is a pretty close match to your one with Bradley,” Theo said.

“Yes, my history repeats itself,” I agreed warily.

“Did you sleep with Jason to get back at his wife?”

“No, I would never do that.”

“So when the chance came, you hooked up with him?” Theo turned into my parking lot.

“It’s not that simple.”

“It can’t be that complicated.” Theo circled the parking lot, looking for a vacant spot.

“I was on Facebook one night after Bradley and I broke up. Jason contacted me, and I gave him my phone number. The timing seemed perfect to reconnect. We talked for hours that night. He’d been married for seven years, and they had four kids. He left his wife after finding out she was having an affair.” I wanted to justify my actions, but I still felt the bitter aftertaste of shame after I swallowed the explanation.

“He said counseling didn’t help and they were preparing to divorce. I told Jason all about how I had called off my wedding. After a while, we stopped talking about our exes and moved on to reminiscing about our past. He called me again the next night. And then every night for a week. He was an escape. I saw my chance for closure.” We were sitting in the dark corner of the parking lot. The rain had eased to a light sprinkle. Theo turned off the car but made no move to get out; he reclined in the driver’s seat. Even with his injuries, he looked powerful, his hand behind his head, eyes locked on me.

“That Friday morning, Jason called and told me to pack my bags. He insisted we should be bold and jet off to Cancun for the weekend, celebrate being single again. The idea was outrageous, but I went with him. We reunited for the first time in eight years at the airport in Houston. We had a toast to our freedom, and then we jumped on a plane to disappear for forty-eight hours. I emailed Steve that I was visiting an old college friend who was struggling with an impending divorce and told him I’d be back on Monday. He emailed back to ask who I was with, but by then I was already in Cancun. I never replied.” I didn’t want to tell Theo about the drinking and dancing Jason and I did on the beach. “It started out pretty cool, being with him again after all those years. But something was off, and Jason knew it, too. We used each other to fill the missing spot in our hearts. Being with Jason was familiar and safe, but we didn’t have a real connection. By the next morning, I wanted to come home.”

“And that’s it?”

“Yes. We both knew our night together was a mistake. Even though he was separated from his wife, even though she had had an affair, Jason believed he’d betrayed her. He was determined to go home and do whatever he had to do to mend his marriage. So we came back and went our separate ways. And that’s it.”

Theo’s gaze penetrated me. “How come you didn’t make him use protection?”

The question was almost too personal, but I couldn’t blame anyone for asking.

“I did.” My face heated. “We bought condoms on the way back to the room that night. I thought he used one.” I looked away. “But in the morning I realized he had never opened the box. We both drank so much. He claimed he forgot, using the excuse that he wasn’t used to needing them.”

Theo punched the dashboard, and I jumped.

“I know…” My stomach churning with the memory of how reckless I’d been. “The whole weekend was a mistake.”

“I’m not pissed at you. I’m pissed at him.”

“I found out I was pregnant, and I called Jason. Before I shared the news, he cut me off. He didn’t want to meet or even talk. He said things with his wife were better than they’d been in years, and he was grateful to me for helping him see the light, but he insisted his wife could never find out about our trip to Cancun. So I said it. I said: I’m pregnant.”

Theo’s eyes smoldered with concern and interest. I was grateful to have someone to talk to, someone who didn’t seem to judge me for messing around with an ex.

“Jason stopped short of asking me for an abortion, but his relief was obvious when I told him I would do it all on my own, that I didn’t need his help.”

Theo’s eyes scanned my face for several moments. “He doesn’t want the baby? He doesn’t care?”

“He has four kids already, and he knows I have support.”

“Support?” Theo coughed as if he was choking on disbelief and his eyebrow arched. “From who? I haven’t seen anyone around here taking care of you.”

“Well, I have my brother—”

Theo interrupted me. “You mean that guy back there?” he asked with a jerk of his thumb.

I waved away his concern. “He’ll get over it. Plus I have Ellie and Jake and my other friends and family.”

He shook his head slowly. “Other than Ellie and Jake, does anyone know?”

“No, but the point is,” I said, placing my hand on my belly, “we don’t need him.”

“You are a stubborn woman.” Theo opened his door and pulled his crutches from the backseat. He came around to my side before I had both feet on the ground, and he reached for my hand. “I should go kick that guy’s ass.”

Startled by his words, I couldn’t stop myself—I grinned foolishly at Theo.

Returning to my condo with Theo was not what I had anticipated for the night. I found it cathartic to dump the events with Jason that had led to my present state. Being candid with someone who was completely removed from all parties was about as close to therapy as I was going to get. It would be a lie if I claimed I didn’t care what Theo thought of me. But if Theo passed judgment on me, it didn’t show.