Where I Belong (Alabama Summer) (7 page)

“That’s horrible. She shouldn’t be able to keep his own son
from him.”

“Yeah, well, tell that to the freaking judge that gave her
primary custody. Ben still gets to see him but not nearly as much as she does.
And he should definitely get him more. He’s the better parent.” She pushes to
her feet and pulls her phone out of her pocket. “I’m gonna run out for a little
while. Wanna come?”

I stand and glance once more out the sliding glass door.
“Nah, I’d better give my mom a call. See how she’s doing.” Tessa looks at me
knowingly, silently communicating that she is here for me if I needed her. I
never kept any details about my mom’s illness from her, and she and I spent
several nights on the phone together, her just listening to my cries.

I walk back into my room and set my coffee mug on my
dresser, swapping it for my phone. After three rings, my aunt’s voice comes
through the other end.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Aunt Mae. How’s everything going? How is she?”

“She’s fantastic, Mia. Here, I’ll hand her the phone.”

I wait anxiously for my mother’s voice, and after only a few
short seconds, I’m rewarded with it.

“Hi, sweetheart. How are you?” Her voice is strong and I can
hear the smile behind it.

I can’t help the tears that fall down my cheeks but I keep
my voice steady. “I’m so good, Mom. I miss you though.”

“I miss you too. How is everyone there? Are you and Tessa
staying out of trouble?”

“Yes, of course. We haven’t done anything illegal yet.”

My mom’s laughter fills the phone, a sound I went several
months without hearing when she was at her worst. “And her brother? Is he
behaving himself around you?”

I hesitate, not really knowing how to answer that question.
“He’s… different. I don’t know. It’s strange getting used to this Ben when I
was anticipating the old one.”

“Well time changes people,” she states obviously. “It’s
certainly changed you over the years. My little girl became this beautiful
young lady.”

I smile and lie back on the bed, playing with the hem of my
dress. “You sound really good. How is your strength? Are you eating? Are you
having any more of those dizzy spells?”

“Oh, honey, I’m perfect.” More tears fill my eyes and I
sniffle quietly away from the phone. “Your aunt and I went for a walk yesterday
at the park. It was too nice of a day to stay indoors. I fed some ducks for
you.”

“Oh, the duck pond. I love that place.” I sit up when I hear
crying coming from down the hallway. Little dimpled look alike crying. “Hey,
Mom. Can I call you back?”

“Sweetheart, enjoy yourself. Don’t worry about me. I’m feeling
great, okay?”

I swing my legs out of bed and stand up. “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I smile and toss my phone on the bed, walking toward the
cries that seem to get more hysterical the closer I get. Nolan is sitting on
the kitchen counter, wrapped up in a towel and trying to pull his knee away
from Ben.

“Ahhhh stop! No, Daddy!”

“Buddy, let me look at it. I need to clean it out.”

I walk over to them and Nolan’s eyes turn toward me. “Oh,
no. What happened, Sir Nolan?” I place my hand on his shin, wrapping my fingers
around his calf. He tenses a bit but doesn’t pull away from me. “Brave knights
don’t cry when they get boo boos, do they?” He dries up his tears and shakes
his head at me, his tiny lip trembling. His knee is scraped up and a bit of blood
is pooling on the wound.

“I fewl.” He sniffs. “Daddy’s gonna huwrt it.”

I look up at Ben, meeting his gaze that I didn’t realize was
already fixated on me. “Daddy’s not gonna hurt it. Are you, Daddy?” I don’t
mean for my tone to sound seductive, but given the intensified stare that
shifts in Ben’s eyes, I’m guessing it comes off as that. He blinks rapidly,
dropping his gaze to Nolan’s. I do the same. “You know,
some
princesses
carry magical powers. And guess what?”

“What?” His eyes go wide and his voice becomes a fascinated
whisper.

“
I’m
one of those princesses.” I disappear down the
hallway and retrieve a small medicine bag that I carry with me out of habit.
And this medicine bag just so happens to be covered in glitter. Very magical.

“What is that?” Nolan asks, the fear completely wiped from
his voice and replaced with wild curiosity.

“This,” I open the zipper and begin rummaging through it,
“is my magic bag. It’s filled with stuff to make knights feel better.” I pull
out some disinfectant spray, a few pieces of gauze, and a band aid. I place the
bag on the counter next to Nolan, seeing his eyes broaden as he tries to see
down into it. “Look in the bag and tell me what you see.” He becomes
distracted, rattling off the list of items and allowing me to spray the gauze
and apply it gently to his knee. Ben watches me from the side intently, my eyes
meeting his every few seconds. I want to focus solely on my task, but my eyes
betray me and I allow them to wander. I blow softly on the scrape but Nolan
doesn’t notice.

“What’s this?” Nolan pulls out an ace bandage, unraveling it
to the floor. “Whoa!”

I giggle and apply the band aid to his knee. “That is for
brave knights that endure dragon injuries.” I raise an eyebrow at him and he
grins. “Do you have any dragon injuries?”

He nods anxiously. “I got hit by a tail wight hewre.” He
points to the invisible injury on his head and Ben and I chuckle.

“Well, if it’s okay with your daddy, I can wrap you up with
my magic band.”

“Pwease, Daddy?”

Ben picks up the ace bandage and holds it out to me. “Well I
can’t have you bleeding all over my truck with that massive head wound.” He
winks at me, placing the bandage into my hand.

I wrap up Nolan’s head as he adorably giggles. “Sir Nolan,
you look ready to take on a land of dragons.” Ben picks him up, kissing his
cheek before placing him on the ground. I am about to turn when two tiny arms
wrap around my legs. He smiles up at me before running toward the couch,
picking up his sword and commencing the battle he seems to be constantly
fighting in.

“That was amazing,” Ben states, causing me to turn and look up
into his eyes. We are standing inches apart, close enough to touch each other
if we want to. “I couldn’t go anywhere near his scrape, and you cleaned it out
and stuck a band aid on it without him even flinching.”

“Everyone forgets their fears when they’re distracted. And a
magic bag to a three-year-old is very distracting.”

He moves in closer to me, his eyes flicking toward Nolan
momentarily. His hand brushes against mine before he grabs it, interlocking our
fingers. I try to pull mine out of his but he holds it tighter. “How am I
supposed to make you like me if you won’t let go of who I used to be?”

I pull harder, but he moves closer, eliminating all space
between us. “I’m… not ready to like you yet.” He smiles, and it is so
unexpected that I actually giggle like a complete fool. I slap my free hand
over my mouth.

“Yet,” he echoes. His eyes do a quick sweep down my body.
“You look really pretty by the way.”

I swallow loudly. Almost uncomfortably as I drop my hand.
“Thanks.” It’s suddenly feeling a thousand degrees hotter in here and I need to
back up. I need to put some space between us. I
need
to pull my hand out
of his. But for some stupid reason, I can’t. I want to yank my hand away. I
want my feet to move. My brain is screaming at me right now to do the right
thing here, but my body is overpowering it.

God damn it.
Why does it have to feel good to be this
close to him? Why can’t he have halitosis or be all fluffy instead of a
mountain of muscle with inviting breath? I may not have control over my body right
now, but I still have use of my mouth.

Shit. And now I’m thinking about what I could do with my
mouth. Shit!

I take in a deep breath and clamp my eyes shut, needing to
at least take away the visual of him. “Ben, please back up.”

He laughs softly above me. “Why are your eyes closed?”

“They just are. Can you please back up?”

He laughs again. And damn it, I love his sounds too. “Do you
really
want me to back up?”

“Ben.”

“I’m just making sure.” I feel his thumb brush along the
skin of my hand. “You look really pretty, Mia.”

“You already said that.”

“And I’m going to keep saying it.”

I open my eyes and stare up into his. There’s nothing but
kindness in them. No underlining lust. No hidden motives or agendas behind
those crazy gray eyes. I suppose they’ve always been this amazing to look into,
but nine years ago, I avoided them at all costs. Of course nine years ago, he’d
never have put himself this close to me. And he definitely wouldn’t have given
me a compliment.

He smiles, dropping my hand after giving it a light squeeze.
“I mean it. I’m going to keep telling you that. You might as well get used to
it.”

I look down at my feet, concealing my flushed cheeks.
“Okay.”

He finally steps back and I peek up, seeing him turn away
from me. “Come on, buddy. Say goodbye to Princess Mia.”

“Bye, Pwincess Mia.” Nolan waves, tapping Ben’s legs with his
sword.

“Bye, Sir Nolan. If I see any dragons, I’ll send them your
way.”

I turn and head toward the bedroom. And I know I shouldn’t,
I know I’ve had enough of him today, but I look over my shoulder anyway and
lock on to Ben’s eyes. It’s as if he is waiting for that last glance, because
as soon as he gets it, he’s out the door.

Ben

“Goodnight, buddy. Love you.” I squeeze Nolan against my
chest, hearing his sleepy yawn. He rubs his face against my shirt before
looking up at me, reaching his finger toward my face. I smile as he runs his
finger down my nose and he giggles when I do the same to him.

“Nighty, Daddy.” He scrambles down the hallway, Angie
following close behind him.

I hate sharing custody of my own kid. I want Nolan with me
all the time, not just on days a judge allots. The system isn’t fair to
fathers. Angie is a mediocre mom, at best, and she gets primary custody just
because she gave birth to him. I hate leaving Nolan with her. She isn’t very
attentive to him and that shit eats away at me. She never takes him anywhere,
not even outside. Nolan is an easy kid. It doesn’t take much to make him happy.
And the thought of her not making him happy nearly kills me.

Now that he’s getting older and figuring things out, he’s
beginning to ask questions. Questions I don’t want to answer yet. He wants to
know why he can’t spend the night at my house every night, or why I don’t live
with him and his mother. I know I’ll eventually have to answer them, but for
right now, I am able to get away with changing the subject to something that
catches his attention. Like dragons.

And now when
I
think of dragons, I think of Mia.

She was amazing with him today, and he took to her like she
was Tessa, who he also adores. I’ve never been so completely captivated by
someone. She knew exactly how to handle Nolan, and God, she was sexy doing it.
The way her tongue rubbed the corner of her mouth while she cleaned out his
cut. The way her lips rounded out when she blew on his knee. The way her hair
fell past her shoulders, tickling her breasts while she wrapped the bandage
around his head. She calmed him down immediately, and she’d only met him an
hour ago. And the whole knighting thing? Christ, if that wasn’t the sweetest
thing anyone’s ever done for him.

I had to touch her, it was killing me not to. So I took her
hand and held it like I had that night at the bar. That slight bit of contact
was enough for me. Then she gave me a
yet
, and I felt as if I’d been
holding her for years. Pure euphoria washed over me. Adrenaline pumped through
my veins, and I finally had hope. Hope that I was slowly tearing down her
walls. Hope that she’d eventually come to like me, and maybe even more than
that. I could work with a
yet
.

“Who the hell is Princess Mia?” Angie asks, walking into the
kitchen with an irritated expression. “Nolan went on and on about some Princess
that he killed dragons for today.”

I stand off my stool and grab my keys, keeping my smile
hidden. “She’s Tessa’s best friend who’s visiting for the summer. Nolan met her
today when I took him swimming.” I could’ve saved my explanation, because Angie
didn’t care for it. She was too busy rubbing me through my shorts. I grab her
hand and remove it with a disgusting grunt. “Get the fuck off. I’m not
interested.”

“Oh no?” She reaches for me again but I grab her wrist,
pressing it against her body. “Jesus. What’s your problem?” Her forehead
creases as she stares at me but her face relaxes with her next question. “Does
this have anything to do with Princess Mia?”

I don’t answer, because Angie doesn’t need to know about my
personal life. It’s not like we are friends and I can share shit with her. We
aren’t anything. I brush past her and move toward the door. “Tell Nolan I’ll
see him soon.”

“Are you really going to leave with a hard on?”

“What hard on?” I turn, stopping at the front door. “My dick
doesn’t want you, Angie. Stop kidding yourself.”

“Well it wanted me last week, when I sucked you off and
swallowed what you gave me. Or what about the week before that when I jerked
you off on the couch?” She stands with her arms crossed over her chest, trying
to come off as cocky and strong, but her face is giving her away. Angie hates
rejection more than anything and I’ve been rejecting her for years. “We can
make this work, Ben. You know we can.”

“There is no
we.
There never was. You’ve sucked my
cock when
you
wanted to. I’ve never asked you to do that. I haven’t even
touched you in three years.” I open the door and move out into the hallway of
her apartment building.

“What about Nolan? Why can’t you at least try for your own
son, Ben?

My blood boils. I grip the doorframe until my hand stings.
“Don’t
ever
use Nolan against me. How the fuck would seeing his parents
at each other’s throats every second benefit him?”

“You won’t even give us a chance,” she pleads, her eyes
glistening over with tears.

“Enough with the bullshit. I won’t pretend to have feelings
for you just because you’re my son’s mother. I won’t lie to him. Ever.” I
exhale roughly as her face saddens. “Make sure you tell Nolan I’ll see him
soon.” And I don’t give her a chance to respond before I close the door behind
me.

**

 “So, let me make sure I’ve got this straight,” Luke
says behind his beer. We decided to grab a few after our shift ended, and I’ve
just made him fully aware of everything involving Mia. Everything except the
fact that I took her virginity. “You tormented the hell out of this girl eight
years ago—”

“Nine,” I correct him. Not that one year really matters one
way or the other. But I feel putting the most distance between my old asshole
self and my current self helps my cause.

He waves me off with his free hand. “Whatever. You used to
be a little dickhead, and now you’re kicking yourself because she’s smoking hot
and the lay of your life.”

I write her name in the condensation on my glass, wiping it
off before Luke sees it and gives me shit about it. “It’s not just about the
sex. I could listen to her talk for fucking hours if she’d let me.” I sigh
heavily, meeting the eyes of my very amused best friend. “Fuck you. Like you
aren’t completely whipped over my sister.”

“I’m not.”
He is, he’ll just never admit it
. “And if
you asked me—”

“I didn’t.”

He flips me off before continuing. “I think you’re going
about this the wrong way. You can’t expect Mia to just jump into a relationship
with you when she’s hated you for years.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s hated you for years,” he reaffirms. “She’ll
just keep telling you to fuck off.” He states his argument as if it is obvious,
which I suppose it is. Even though I have undeniable chemistry with Mia, she
isn’t going to acknowledge it herself while she still hates me. “Why don’t you
try to be friends with her first? Let her see that you’re interested in more
than just fucking her.”

I contemplate his advice in silence. That could be a better
way to go about this. Winning her friendship meant gaining her trust which
would surely grant me forgiveness. And friends did spend a lot of time
together, and that definitely appealed to me. “Nolan’s crazy about her, and
she’s amazing with him. Would I be a complete shit to use my kid as an in?”

“You
are
a complete shit.” He motions for the
bartender. “Two Sam Adams, and did you card those fuckers at the end of the
bar?” I follow Luke’s finger and notice the two kids he is referring to. And they
definitely are kids. No fucking way are they twenty-one.

“Yeah, of course I did. Their ID’s said they were
twenty-two.” The bartender gives us both another beer.

“Grab their ID’s for me,” Luke insists. The bartender
returns seconds later, and I don’t miss the uneasiness in the eyes of the two
kids. “These are fake. How the hell did you miss this, Ray?” Luke is on his
feet and I’m right behind him. He holds the ID’s out in front of him, showing
them to the kids. “You morons do realize that using a fake ID is a felony,
right? How old are you?”

“We’re twenty-two,” one states with snarky confidence. His
smugness alone makes me want to throw him out on his ass.

 “Are you really that stupid to use a fake ID at a bar
where two cops are drinking?” I ask, seeing Luke tuck their ID’s into his
pocket. Either that or they’re blind. We’re still in our uniforms for Christ’s
sake. “Answer my partner before I make you call your parents and I explain to
them that their sons are getting arrested.”

“We’re nineteen,” the meeker one answers urgently. His
friend starts sweating, his hands shaking at his sides. “Please don’t make me
call my dad, officer. Can’t you give us a warning or something?”

Luke and I step closer to them, seeing them shrink and
cower. I narrow in on the honest kid. “Get out now before your friend screws
you both.” He moves quickly and his friend tries to follow, but Luke shoots his
arm out to stop him.

“Don’t lie to a cop, asshole. Especially when you’re dumb
enough to use your real name on your fake ID, Parker Lance.”

“How do you know it’s my real name?” Wow. This kid is asking
to get locked up.

“Because you’re too stupid to memorize any information that
isn’t really yours. And no one would willingly pick the name Parker. I’d feel
sorry for you if you weren’t such a lying piece of shit.” The kid opens his
mouth to argue but smartly decides to shut it. “Get out.” His now panicked face
disappears out the door and we reclaim our seats at the bar.

“Fucking prick. I should’ve made him call his parents just
for being an asshole,” Luke says. I nod in agreement as I stare at the bottles
of alcohol on the shelf in front of me, taking generous sips of my beer. My
mind is elsewhere at the moment and Luke notices. “Damn, man. I’ve never seen
you this obsessed over some chick before. What the hell are you going to do
when the summer’s over and she goes back home? You know that long distance
stuff doesn’t work. Ask Reed. ”

I rub my temples with my fingers. “I don’t know. I can’t
worry about that right now when I’m still trying to get her to tolerate being
around me.”

“At the rate you’re going, you might not
have
to
worry about it.”

I ignore him and down my beer. I can’t think about three
months from now, and not just because I’m not anywhere near where I want to be
with Mia. The thought of her not being five minutes away from me formed a knot
in my stomach and a tightness in my chest. I hate the idea of not being able to
see her on an impulse. What if I had a sudden urge to kiss her, touch her, talk
to her, or breathe the same air as her and she lived four hours away from me?
The thought was maddening. I knew I’d never survive that kind of distance from
her. The girl I once couldn’t get far enough away from had become the woman I
couldn’t get close enough to.

**

Later on that night, I grab my phone and open up a new text
message. I only have three months with Mia, and I want to get the whole
friendship thing rolling. The sooner she likes me as a friend, the sooner
she’ll see me as I see her.

Me: Can I have Mia’s
phone number?

Tessa: Why? Are you
changing it up and trying to make her cry via text message?

Most days I love my sister.
Most
days.

Me: Look, I fucked
up when I was younger and I’m trying to make up for it. You know I care about
her, so would you please help me out here? I fucking gave Luke your number.

Tessa: I’ll give it
to you, but you need to know that Reed got her number too. I don’t know if she
sees him like that, but heads up. He’s a nice guy and he’s never made fun of
her. He’d be good for her.

Fucking Reed Tennyson.
I should’ve knocked his ass
out when I had the chance.

Me: I’d be good for
her. Reed can go fuck himself.

Tessa: Easy, tiger.
I’m secretly pulling for you if it helps. 205-555-7991

Me: Thanks. I owe
you.

Tessa: I know.

I’ve never been nervous about anything involving women.
Never. But right now, a simple text message is terrifying me.

Me: Hey it’s Ben. I
was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime this weekend.

Shit.
That sounds like I’m asking her out. Which is
what I really
want to do, but that’s not part of this new friendship
route I’m trying to establish.

Me: Not like a date
or anything.

Damn it.
That just sounds shitty, like I need to
clarify that I’m definitely
not
asking her out.
Shit.

Me: Just as friends.

I chuck my phone to the end of the bed. I should just throw
it outside to keep from making a further ass out of myself. It beeps and I dive
for it like my life depends on it.

Mia: I don’t know.

I half expected that type of response. And I was locked and
loaded.

Me: A certain knight
is requesting time with his favorite princess. You wouldn’t want to disappoint
him, would you? He’ll probably cry for days when I break the news to him.

Mia: Wow. Did you
really just use your son as bait?

Me: I did. I’m
desperate.

One, two minutes go by and I’m starting to sweat.

Me: I just want to
spend some time with you. I’ve made you smile a few times and I think I can do
it again if you’ll let me. I’m just asking for a chance, Mia. If you hate the
guy I am now then I’ll leave you alone. I swear.

Fifty three seconds later, she responds.

Mia: Okay, fine. But
I get to pick what we do.

I pump my fist into the air.

Me: Fine with me.
What did you have in mind?

Mia: There’s this
medieval dinner show I passed on my way here the other day. I think it was off
two exits before Ruxton. Has Nolan ever been there? He’ll get to see knights
jousting and stuff.