Where Mercy Is Shown, Mercy Is Given (2010) (12 page)

The interview with Sean Hannity was hard for two reasons. First, although I went in with a good idea of what he would be asking me about, I still didn’t know what I planned to say. Second, I was incredibly emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat, and I knew this interview would rattle my cage a bit. Thankfully, whenever I broke down or started to sway into a bad place, Sean would stop me, rephrase the question, and essentially let me start over.

When I tried to tell Sean about my experience at Mount Vernon, it came out all wrong. Beth was off camera practically stomping her feet, begging me to just stop talking. I was so emotionally upset that I
messed it up badly. Beth and Alan were in the back watching, and at the break they came rushing onto the stage. I thought they both were going to kill me. “You just told America you were going to be buried at Mount Vernon,” Beth said.

“No, I didn’t.”

They both yelled at me, “Yes, you did!”

In my emotional state, I had told the world I had started the process to allow me to be buried with the slaves. What I’d meant to say was that I had contacted the foundation at Mount Vernon and hopefully started the process of buying them a marker for the slaves if they wanted to use such a marker. I also had wanted to tell Sean Hannity that I was so proud of my black brothers and sisters that I would be honored to be buried with slaves with no headstone. But, of course, what was in my mind and what came out of my mouth were not the same thing, causing a mini-scandal to erupt because I said I wanted to be buried at Mount Vernon. When we later called the foundation to offer money for a marker, they had been so bombarded with phone calls about what I said that they didn’t even want to talk to us. I apologized to them for the misunderstanding. I felt so bad as they have preserved Washington’s home with such impeccable detail so that we can learn and understand about the history of our country, slavery, and the man who gave so much for us. Even so, they still refuse to have anything to do with me—for now.

Unbeknownst to me, while Beth was freaking out, two African-American men approached her backstage. She didn’t know who they were. For a moment she actually believed Sean Hannity had double-crossed us by bringing two black guests on to comment after my interview. That’s when someone told Beth the man who was merely saying hello to her was the Reverend Jesse Peterson, who was there with his group BOND, which stands for Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny. Beth was relieved when she met him, realizing he and his coworker were there to support me and not destroy me.

Reverend Peterson approached us after the taping was done. He looked a little like a gangster to me at first. I thought,
Here we go. My
first public fight.
I couldn’t have been more wrong about the guy. We began talking and sharing our thoughts on racism in America.

“There’s no ‘white bands, white TV networks.’” He was telling me that because of these types of stereotypes, he believes the black man is just as prejudiced as the white man. “I grew up on a plantation in the South. I’ve heard the ‘N’ word more times than you’ve taken a breath.”

“Jesus, man. Shut up! I don’t want to hear you talking like this!” I was stunned by his straight-to-the-heart style and manner, and nervous to be a part of any racially fired-up conversation. Peterson told me he knew a racist when he met one and he didn’t believe that I was a racist. From that day on, he and I forged a friendship that began with what I thought was going to be a very sticky situation. Peterson and I don’t necessarily see eye to eye when it comes to politics. In fact, I’ve never disagreed with a man more in my life than I do with Reverend Peterson, but I respect him and all he stands for. He’s a radical nut and just the type of man I needed in my corner to help guide and counsel me through these times. We agreed to talk again over the next few weeks to see how we could work together.

I appeared on
Larry King Live
the next night. The interview was equally emotional. Tim Storey appeared with me for a segment, as did my oldest son, Christopher. Tim caught a lot of grief from other preachers in the community for standing by my side, but that didn’t deter him from referring to me as his brother and supporting me through this situation. Even when others insisted I was a racist, Tim Storey refused to let them have their way, going so far as to make it evidently clear that he did not believe that to be true.

During the interview, my son Christopher told Larry King how the
National Enquirer
had approached him to talk about his dad, offering him quick cash for his story. They asked him a series of questions, which Christopher lied about in his answers so he could get the money. The
Enquirer
asked him questions about my alleged drug use over the years and about me being a racist. They encouraged him to say whatever he wanted by telling him “the more dirt, the better.” When the paper gave Christopher a lie detector test, which they sometimes do as a pre
caution, the results were inconclusive. Even so, they went ahead and printed the story.

Since that incident, it appeared the
National Enquirer
had had an ongoing interest in stories about me. Christopher’s interview was done months before Tucker sold the tapes. Christopher drove himself into the ground with guilt for what he had done. He went out of his way to reach me after the story broke, to apologize. He said he was after some fast money, which the paper made easily available for a few hours of the boy’s time. Christopher, like Tucker, was vulnerable to their offer without realizing the consequences of his actions. I am a man who stands for second chances, and I was willing to forgive Christopher for his lack of judgment. Having a relationship with my son was more important to me than holding a grudge. That is why I asked him to be on the show with me that night.

After the Larry King interview, a poll revealed that 82 percent of Larry King’s viewers said they didn’t think my show should be taken off the air. That was a pretty big number of supporters, and it should have made me feel better about things, but it didn’t. Even though it was a tremendous display of mercy, there were still 18 percent of his viewers who thought what I did made me a racist and I deserved to pay for it. I figured there was a small percentage of those people who had hated me to begin with. Yet for the 1, 2, or 3 percent of people who thought what I did was reprehensible, but whose minds I could still change, I needed to find a way to spread the word that Dog is a good man, a righteous man of principle, and someone who chooses to lead his life by example and not just words.

At the end of the interview, a young woman appeared via video clip urging me to never give up. She said, “Sometimes heroes make mistakes.” And she was right. We are all just human beings who will, from time to time, stumble along the path of life. It is up to the hero that lives inside each and every one of us to turn our tests into testimony and our mess into messages. The message I was receiving was loud and clear: Don’t give up.

After I taped
Larry King
, I bumped into Patti LaBelle in the lobby
of the Four Seasons Hotel. We said hello and talked for a few minutes. She wrapped her arm around my elbow and said, “Let’s walk into the bar together, Dog! I’d be proud to have people see you on my arm.” Beth and I also ran into LL Cool J a couple of nights later and he was equally kind.

I’ve always been a controversial figure. The things that would destroy a weaker man make me stronger. Through years of challenges, I’ve learned to successfully turn my adversity into opportunity.

My barber’s husband gave me some memorable advice a day or two after the story broke. He said, “Duane, the higher you go up the ladder in life, the more of your ass that shows. One mistake can ruin a thousand attaboys.” This guy is a retired military man and married to a beautiful black woman. Throughout his military career, he was beaten down a thousand times only to be built back up stronger, smarter, and better than he was before. His brain was trained to get out there and throw his best at whatever life brought his way. I asked him for his advice on how to make things right. His answer was simple yet powerful.

“Get out there and get me another thousand attaboys.” So far I’m at 398, but counting every single day.

When I was a young boy, I heard a quote by Jack Dempsey that I never forgot. I’ve since put my own twist on it and turned it into one of my new favorite Dogisms:

“Champions get knocked down, but they always get back up!”

Whenever I’ve asked God why something is happening in my life, His answer has always been the same: “I know you can do this, Dog.” It is with that knowledge that I am able to take an absolute leap of faith, even if I don’t know what lies ahead for me. I have the strength to move ahead and the belief that I can conquer anything, and that I always land on my feet.

So much of my training with Tony Robbins focused on how the mind perceives things. We only know life’s ups and downs by how we represent them to ourselves. If we have a negative image of something, it can become larger than life and seem impossible to overcome. That negative thought can virtually paralyze us from moving past it.

On the other hand, if we take that same negative image and minimize it, then we are able to put everything in perspective as what it is and reveal what it is not. Doing this takes away its power and returns that power to you. Diminishing the impact of a setback, asking myself what the worst-case scenario is, and then realizing I can not only live through, but thrive from, those possibilities is my secret for turning adversity into opportunity.

Calvin Coolidge once said, “The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” When I’m on a bounty hunt, giving up and throwing in the towel are never options for me. My livelihood depends on a successful outcome. I took whatever fallout came my way when the “N” word story came out, because I realized that the Lord had a larger plan for me. He knew I could weather the storm, which in turn gave me the faith to endure through the months I spent making amends.

Instead of dwelling on my fears of losing everything, I chose to focus on moving forward. Tony Robbins taught me that wherever you place your focus becomes your reality. I was determined to place my focus on seeing the good that could come from this experience. I put myself in a positive state of mind and began acting on every opportunity that came my way to give back, until I no longer felt it was an obligation but rather a privilege.

We’ve all made mistakes and I owned up to mine like a man. I wish this event had never happened, but it did. I thought I had quit making bad mistakes, but I suppose as long as you’re alive, blunders will happen. The only thing I could do from this point on was to forgive myself so others would do the same. To do that, I needed to make some very big changes in my life. I wasn’t going to hide away or wish for some type of time machine to turn back the clock. I had to saddle up and ride the horse like I always did and face whatever lay ahead. I spent the next ten days or so reminding myself that I was an all-around good guy and a slayer of dragons. It was time to get out there and make that happen.

After taping the interviews with Sean Hannity and Larry King, Beth and I stayed in Los Angeles for a few days of rest and relaxation.
We did a little shopping and then headed to Las Vegas to meet some friends for dinner. I was really looking forward to a fun night out. I handed my credit card to our server to pay for the bill. She came back to the table and politely asked if I had another form of payment since the card I gave her was coming up with a negative response.

I wanted to die on the spot from embarrassment. My card was declined…in front of several celebrity friends. I handed over another card, hoping that one would be approved. Thank God, it was.

When I left the restaurant, I called the bank that had issued the declined card to see what was wrong. It was our local bank in Hawaii, which we had done a lot of business with over the years. We had at least
thirteen
separate accounts with this bank, including our business, personal, and merchant accounts, which meant we put all of our eggs in that one financial basket.

There was a lot of street noise as I stood outside the restaurant making my call. The bank manager was having a hard time hearing me. On my third attempt to ask him what the problem was, I had to raise my voice so he could hear me.

“I’ve got a lot of money in your bank and I will take my business elsewhere if you don’t fix this problem right now!”

“Mr. Chapman,” he said. “Please quit yelling at me.” I wasn’t yelling out of anger so much as pure frustration.

Unbeknownst to me, days before the “N” word story hit, the same bank had given Tucker a loan to buy a brand-new truck. At the time, he had no credit and no job. Tucker used my name, relationship, and the few thousand dollars he’d been paid for selling the tape to finagle the loan. Unaware of the storm that was brewing, Tucker talked them into extending him the credit he needed to buy his truck because we had such a strong and long-term financial relationship with the bank. When Beth and I got wind of this shortly after the story broke, we called the bank to let them know we weren’t going to take any responsibility for the loan. Our relationship with the bank became strained after that conversation because they had been put in a bad situation by approving Tucker’s loan. Apparently, after the credit manager saw the news story about the “N”
word, the bank cut off all of our credit. I was confused by their decision because I’d never had any problems with them in the past. I didn’t bounce checks, I was never overdrawn, I made all of my payments on time, and I kept a significant amount of money on deposit. When I asked why they cut my credit, their response was that since my show had been “canceled,” I was obviously no longer employed and therefore I had become a bad credit risk. “Sorry.” That’s all they could say.

Beth wasn’t about to take their decision sitting down. Our show hadn’t been canceled. She wanted to make sure the bank understood what was really going on. She called the branch manager and said, “People lose their jobs every day, but we’re still employed. Just because our show has been taken off the schedule, it doesn’t mean we’ve been fired.”