Where One Road Leads (17 page)

She couldn’t walk away from those aspects of her life, and she couldn’t walk away from Matt either. Maybe it was too soon, yet she couldn’t deny the importance of his presence in her life, and her feelings for him.

She loved him.

The thought made her chuckle. Okay, she’d keep that fact to herself for now. No need to scare him or give away too much of herself so soon. There would be plenty of time to explore their feelings for each other, if he was willing. She had a feeling he would.

There was one thing she had to do before she could move on with her life in Quail Ridge. She started the Jeep and headed back into town. Before reaching the center, she turned onto the road leading to the cemetery. The time had come to say goodbye to Jay.

If she were ever going to have a life with Matt, she needed this. For the sake of her heart and mind, she’d put the past and her feelings of guilt to rest.

Under the drab sky, Krista found Jay’s grave, marked with a gray marble stone a few shades darker than the clouds hanging low. For a long moment, she stayed put in the Jeep, staring at the plot. Someone had left an enormous pot of rust colored mums, fading in the mid November chill. She felt bad about coming empty-handed, but she couldn’t think of anything to bring for Jay now. After hearing what Ricky had to say about Jay and those final weeks, she didn’t think he’d want anything from her anyway. Except freedom.

Now it was her time to ask for freedom.

Krista stepped out onto the fading grass and made her way to the foot of the grave. She hadn’t known what she’d feel at this moment. Sadness and regret swelled up from inside her and tightened her throat. She swallowed and wrapped her arms around her body against the sudden cold that didn’t come from the wind riding over the treeless landscape. The gnawing iciness came from deep within.

It wasn’t the overwhelming heartbreak she’d felt back in the beginning, when she believed Jay had gone to his grave loving her. A tear slid from the corner of her eye, leaving a cold trail as it slid down her cheek.

“I wish you would’ve told me how you felt,” she said stonily. “I never would’ve pushed you into fatherhood. Maybe I would’ve hated you for it, but you’d still be alive and Liz would still be here. And our baby too.”

Krista pushed back on the unexpected anger. What good would it do to get angry with a man who’d been dead for fifteen years? What was done was done.

“It’s too late for that now,” she murmured. “Maybe nothing we did would’ve changed things. I don’t know, Jay. What I do know is that I have to say goodbye to you. Let you go. Let our past go so I can move on with my future. I want it to be with your brother.” Krista bit back on a smile. “Isn’t that funny? In an ironic kind of way? He’s a good man and I love him. I’m hoping he’ll feel the same way about me.”

“Very touching.” The voice that crept up behind her sounded icier than the bitter wind.

Krista’s heart leapt straight from her chest into her throat. She swung around and locked gazes with Ricky. He stood between her and her Jeep.

He didn’t appear to be living in the manner in which he’d become accustomed. His dark hair was rumpled, not by the stiff breeze that whipped around them with knife-like sharpness, but from a lack of grooming. A beard and moustache darkened his face. Even his clothes were tired and wrinkled.

Despite all this, there was a glint in his eyes, a terrible flash in his smile that said more than words ever could. It bordered on maniacal. She’d seen it before in her travels, yet it had never been aimed at her.

A nauseating sensation knifed at her belly. She clutched at her abdomen and took a step back from him.

“Leave me alone, Ricky.” Her warning sounded as ridiculous to her as it probably did to him. His smile widened and he chuckled.

Then his grin died quickly.

“How many times do you come to her grave?” he asked coldly.

“What?” Krista glanced surreptitiously around to see if there was anyone within yelling distance, anyone who could help her. She and Ricky appeared to be the only living humans in the cemetery. They were too far from the road, and there weren’t any houses within a half mile.

Ricky had her at his mercy. She doubted she could talk him down from his hatred.

“I visit her every day,” Ricky continued. “Well, I did until I had to leave town. Every
fucking
day I would come here and talk to her.”

He took a step toward her. Krista eyed his stance warily. His hands were shoved deep within the pockets of an old sheepskin jacket. She prayed it was because they were cold, and not because he held a weapon. Something he could use to hurt her. She edged to the side, trying to get closer to the Jeep.

“Every damned day for fifteen years. Fifteen years that she
should’ve
been alive and with me.” His eyes were absolutely emotionless and it chilled her right to her soul.

“I lost her too, Ricky. I loved her too,” Krista choked out, hoping somehow she’d be able to reach him and remind him he wasn’t the only one devastated by that night.

“No!” Ricky pulled one hand from his pocket and pointed a bare finger at her. “No, you didn’t love her. Not like I did. You couldn’t have.”

“I didn’t kill her.” Krista sidled an inch, but kept her eyes on the man.

“You
did
kill her,” he countered hotly. “You might as well have just pointed a gun at her and put a bullet in her head.”

He loomed closer, and his fingers flexed and tightened with nervous energy. It hardly seemed like this was the same man she’d had run-ins with since returning to Quail Ridge. This Ricky was nervous, crazy and deadly. Of that she had no doubt. Debating with him over the events of the night would be pointless. He’d never see the truth. He’d see what he wanted to see, what he’d convinced other people must be true.

“Do you want me to leave town? Is that all?”

She took another half-step to the right, praying he wouldn’t notice.

Ricky laughed again. “No, I don’t want you to leave town, Krista. Do you think I can go back to my old life? That’s gone. Quail Ridge, Rachel, everything I had is gone, thanks to you.”

“Then what do you want?”

Ricky pulled his other hand out of its pocket. The gun was small, yet deadly enough, especially when he lifted it and pointed it directly at her. Krista sucked in her breath and bolted to the right. If she could make it to the far side of the Jeep, she could crawl in and escape.

She almost made it to the bumper when the first bullet knocked her off her feet, slamming into her hip. Raging hot pain sizzled through her flesh straight through her bone. Instinctively, she pressed her hand against the wound, but that only brought on more agony. Blood already saturated the leg of her pants.

The whole world became deadly calm except for the panic that ricocheted through her mind. Krista heard Ricky’s steps approaching.

“If she’s dead you’re going to have to be dead, too. I’m here to finish what you started,” Ricky snarled through a tightly clenched jaw as he stood over her.

She barely registered the words. What difference did it make anyway? Her gaze flicked away from him and she stared at the heavy clouds overhead. Fat snowflakes twirled out of the sky, peacefully falling in wayward spirals toward her.

Even when the second bullet struck her, she didn’t take her eyes off the flakes. They hypnotized her and eased her mind from the pain, dulling the fear.

She drew a breath and held it in her lungs before exhaling, thinking this could be the last breath she’d ever take.

The world faded. Krista blinked away the tears that mixed with the snowflakes on her cheeks. All she could see was the sky and the snow. In a way, she was happy the end felt so peaceful.

Matt’s face appearing above her in a dream didn’t surprise her. If only she could understand what he was saying.

Maybe his goodbyes. She whispered hers back to him.

“I love you.”

Chapter 14

“I didn’t think this day would ever come.” Krista sighed. She leaned back in the passenger seat of Emily’s Yukon and stared out the window as they cruised across the border into New Hampshire. Spring left a haze of pale green on the tree branches, pushing away the gray of the mild winter behind them. She opened the window a few inches and raised her face so she could feel the cool air brush past her skin.

Every little thing was richer and she appreciated the fresh breeze more than she ever had before. Her body might have been battered, yet she came out of each conflict with a stronger appreciation for life.

It had been a tough winter. One of the hardest. She could handle spending Thanksgiving in the hospital, but the recovery nearly beat her. There had been days she had wished Ricky’s bullets had done their job. Yet she pushed on. That had been her way since the beginning. She bit back on the pain and the frustration, even when she just wanted to pull the covers over her head and go back to sleep. Instead, she got up, went to physical therapy, and made her body work again.

“Almost there,” Emily announced.

Krista glanced over at her. Things between them had changed. For once in their lives, they leaned on each other, tried to understand each other.

Staying with her sister had been the only choice. Quail Ridge was too far away from her rehab and physical therapy, so Emily had offered her a place to stay in Boston over the winter. It had been a wonderful chance to work on their relationship as well.

As soon as March rolled to an end, she gladly left her strenuous therapy behind. She longed to go home for good.

“You sure you’re okay with me keeping the land?” Krista asked. Their parents’ property had been a point of contention between the two since their mother’s death.

Emily laughed. “It’s more important to you than I’d ever thought. I never realized you’d want to settle there of all places.”

“I never thought so either. Still, it’s where I need to be. It’s definitely time for me to take the reins back at the center, and I miss my dog.”

Emily chuckled. “Sorry, but my landlord would’ve had my butt out on the pavement if I brought a dog in.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Em. Gus was much better off at Matt’s. They’ve really bonded over the past few months. I hear Gus even goes running with Matt on occasion.”

“And what about you and Matt?”

What about it? Krista stared out the window. Matt was a large part of her reasons for going back, just as he’d been before Ricky had sidetracked her for several months.

At least once a week Matt had made the drive from Quail Ridge to Boston to visit. He’d sacrificed Thanksgiving with his family to spend it with her while she was stuck in the hospital recovering from gunshot wounds to her shoulder and hip. He’d even smuggled in some of his mother’s turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie. It had been the best meal she’d ever eaten in her entire life, and sharing it with the man she loved made it all the better. Despite the pain it caused, she’d laughed when he spread out a tablecloth across the hospital tray table.

Though reluctant to hear the details, she made him tell her what had happened that day.

“The last thing I remember was the second shot hitting me. I saw the snow falling and then your face. I thought I was dead.”

Matt had squeezed her hand. “I know. You told me goodbye and that you loved me. You scared the hell out of me, honey.”

“How did you know to come?” She’d felt her cheeks burn. Had she really said she loved him? It must’ve come as a shock to him to hear those words from her.

“Several people saw Ricky drive into town. It took a while to track him down. We had no idea you were even at the cemetery until we drove up on the two of you.”

“I went there to say goodbye to Jay,” she confessed.

Matt had nodded. She didn’t have to expand on it, he understood.

“By then you were on the ground, Ricky standing over you. I thought for sure we were too late.”

Krista squeezed her eyes shut, but a flood of tears had escaped anyway. Matt tucked a tissue into her hand.

“What happened after?” she asked roughly.

“As soon as he saw us, he backed off and headed to Liz’s grave. By then we had two other units there so I stayed with you until the ambulance got there.”

“And Ricky is in custody?”

Matt had paused. Krista patted her eyes with the tissue so she could see Matt’s face clearly. His jaw was tight and his gaze dropped to their hands.

“You don’t need to worry about him anymore. He took his own life.”

Krista had sucked in a startled breath, though she shouldn’t have been shocked by the news. Like Ricky had said, what was left for him?

“I can’t say I’m surprised. Sad, but not surprised.”

“Sad? He nearly killed you.”

Krista had shrugged. “He was just one more casualty of that night fifteen years ago. And it all could’ve been prevented.”

She could go back home and rebuild her life without worrying about trouble lurking around every corner. She’d pick it up where she left off, move into the loft at the mill until she could have a new house built, and step back into the role of running the center. And back to developing her relationship with Matt.

“We’ll see where we go from here,” she told Emily now. “Things are getting back to normal.” Three more miles and they’d be back in Quail Ridge. The closer they got, the sweeter the air became.

Emily smiled. “He’s crazy about you.”

Krista chuckled. She’d never discussed her love life with her sister before, and it felt awkward.

“Then he’s crazy. I don’t think he’s had moment of peace since I came back into town.”

“Just think how dull his life would be without you,” Emily pointed out.

“I’m looking forward to dull. I’ve had enough excitement to last me five lifetimes. From now on, if he wants excitement, he’s going to have to find it elsewhere because I plan on taking up knitting and gardening.”

“The hell you will. You’ll find something else to do and I’ll be jealous and amazed by you again.”

“What?” Krista shot her sister a look of shock.

“You heard me. Despite everything you’ve gone through in your life, you never gave up. You took it and made yourself better for it. I don’t think I could’ve handled a fraction of what you did. I would’ve folded like a house of cards.”

“You don’t know that,” Krista replied quietly.

“Yes, I do. I knew it all along, that’s why I’ve kept my life as simple and safe as I could. I’ve had a good life. Sure, it’s been dull and I resented your freedom and your success.”

Krista felt stunned by her sister’s confession. How could anyone be envious of the chaos that had been her life? “I can’t believe you felt like this. I always thought you were ashamed or embarrassed by me.”

Emily reached for Krista’s hand. “I won’t lie to you and tell you I didn’t feel those things in the beginning. It was hard going to school with everything that happened, but eventually people forgot my ties to you.”

As they passed the Quail Ridge town line, they fell into silence, giving Krista time to digest what Emily had told her. Another thing to add to her list of fixables, yet they seemed to be off to a good start.

Anxiety built inside her like a gathering of agitated birds in the pit of her stomach. She pressed her hand against her belly hoping to calm them as they neared the center of town. Who would be waiting for her? This was her first time back since the fires, not including her brief visit to the cemetery. Maybe no one would be there for her.

“Where are we going?” Krista had been so lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t noticed Emily had turned off Main Street until they were heading toward the remains of their old home.

“There’re some things I want to get from the barn while we’re in town. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, I guess not,” she replied faintly. She didn’t really want to see the remnants of her home, yet after everything Emily had done for her, she couldn’t say no.

“What’s going on here?” Krista straightened in the seat as they approached their driveway. At least a dozen cars lined the road on both sides of the drive.

“Hmm, not sure,” Emily replied, her voice light and casual. But a tiny smile played on her lips that said she knew exactly what was going on.

“Liar.” Krista couldn’t find her voice to say anything else.

Emily turned into the drive. Where the old house had once stood, a new structure had taken its place; a two-story Cape Cod style home. Krista pressed her palm against her open mouth. Through the blur of hot tears she saw the crowd of people in the yard and the “Welcome Home” sign over the porch.

“What have you done?” she asked her sister through her hand.

“We thought you needed a real home to come back to,” Emily replied.

Krista fell against her sister’s shoulder. Emily slid her arm around her.

“No one deserves it more than you do. Now, why don’t you wipe your eyes and get out and meet your adoring fans.” She gave Krista a squeeze, then eased her up.

Before she opened the door and climbed out, Krista studied the crowd of people waiting expectantly for her. It was overwhelming, nearly too much for her senses, but these people had banded together to show their support for her. It filled her heart to near breaking. This was the first time since the accident stole all normalcy from her life, that she could say with any certainty people weren’t judging her negatively.

Emily had to urge Krista out of the vehicle and immediately they were crowded by well-wishers. Carla, Patricia and both Matt’s parents were there, and many others who had played roles in making the youth center happen. They hugged her and welcomed her back. Still, as much as she appreciated and soaked in their attention, she wanted to see Matt and Gus. Neither of them seemed to be present. Maybe Matt was on duty, with Gus still at his house. It took a bit of the elation out of the moment.

“Okay, people.” Emily pushed through the crowd and took Krista’s hand. “Thanks for coming, but Krista’s had a long drive and I’m sure she’s dying to get inside and take a look at her new home.”

There was a murmur of agreement, final hugs and goodbyes. Krista held onto Patricia longer than the rest. Patricia had lost so much, too—her daughter, then her husband and one of her sons. Despite it all, she stayed firmly in Krista’s camp and managed the center in her absence.

“We’ll talk, okay?” she whispered in Patricia’s ear before she released her. She wanted to help Patricia as much as she possibly could.

Patricia nodded and kissed Krista’s cheek, then pulled away.

At last Emily stood in front of her. “I’m leaving now. I put your bags on the steps. I’d stay but I really need to get to Boston before the traffic gets too heavy. I love you, big sis.”

She kissed Krista softly on the cheek and before Krista could react to her sudden exit, Emily had climbed into her truck and started the engine.

So that was it. Everyone went off and left her alone with her new home. Two suitcases sat next to the door, waiting for her to bring them in and to start her life.

She picked up her suitcases and opened the front door, filled with expectation, wondering what she’d find. She stepped into a tiled foyer with a tall oak coat rack next to the door and a leafy ficus tree. Beyond was the living room. She walked in, admiring the dusty rose carpet, white walls with blue, green and rose stenciled flowers. Someone had been busy. They’d done a wonderful job making the room welcoming and warm. The walls were decorated with Ansel Adams and Renoir prints, and an old grandfather clock that had once belonged to Krista’s grandmother. Emily had taken it after their mother’s death.

More plants hung in the sunny windows, giving the place life. It was a beautiful little home and she marveled at how Emily had managed to have it built so quickly and without her knowledge.

After admiring the living room, Krista turned and gasped.

Both Matt and Gus stood in the entryway to the kitchen. Both smiled, Gus in his own, tongue-lolling way. For a long moment, she stared at them. She’d cried too much in the past few months and she didn’t want to do it now. What she wanted and what she got were two different things, though. She shoved the tears away impatiently and hurried to them.

She sank down so she was at Gus’s level and touched his head. The dog lapped at her fingers.

“You’re looking good, Gus,” she said to him. “Matt’s been taking good care of you, hasn’t he?”

Then she turned her attention to Matt. He held out his hand and she took it. His grip was warm and firm as he helped her to her feet. He didn’t immediately take her into his arms. She didn’t push herself on him either.

She’d only seen him a week ago, but it seemed like months and months. She drank him in, his heathery green sweater and faded blue jeans that hugged his thighs. He’d gotten a haircut. She reached out to touch his hair, trailing her hand over his cheek.

She bit her bottom lip as she gazed at his eyes. They were more green than hazel. He looked better than he’d been during any of his visits to Boston. On the other hand, this was the first time they’d been together in some kind of normal situation. She’d recovered, stood in her own home, finally free of any kind of the threat. Matt no longer doubted her. For the first time in years everything seemed nearly perfect.

She found herself rather shy at the moment, lost in what to do next. Still, she held on to his hand and smiled.

“I’m in shock,” she confessed with a shrug. “You and Emily keep secrets well.”

Matt grinned. “We thought it would make a good welcome back to town. There’s still some work left to be done, like the landscaping. We figured we’d leave that for you.”

Krista nodded, too caught up in the way his eyes held hers, to talk about something as mundane as landscaping. There were more important things to discuss. She wouldn’t push, in case she was way off base.

“No, this is fine. I think I’d love to do some gardening, something peaceful after a long day at the office.”

The expression on Matt’s face, the way he tilted his head and nodded, and the way his lips turned up in a slight smile, pleased her. Made her want to kiss him.

He’d been careful with her after the shooting, as if afraid he would hurt her more. Yet she could hardly bring herself to wrap her arms around him and feel his body against her. She’d been dreaming about his touch for months, yet found herself nearly speechless around him. Shy, too.