Where the Heart is (Interracial with Baby) (BWWM) (14 page)

"Okay, here's what I got," Simon said, turning his laptop so that Jamie could see it. He was staying at the house for the weekend, as he had whenever he could get the time off for the majority of her pregnancy. The hospital had been good about giving him more regular shifts now that he was close to finishing up his last year of residency.

Soon enough he'd be able to go find work at another hospital if he wanted to, and that was exactly what he was looking for.

They'd talked about it a lot over the last few months. How they were going to make this work. It was undeniable that they both wanted it to, but it was also a fact that it wasn't going to be easy.

All the same limitations and complications that had been in place before they'd tried this were still there, but maybe now they had a little more wiggle room.

They certainly had more motivation at the very least. With Jamie in the final month of her pregnancy and her due date looming ahead of them, there was no turning back now.

Jamie was lying on the couch on her back, eating frozen yogurt and resting the cup on the swell of her belly. She complained often about how she was getting so fat and how she hated having to pee every five minutes, but Simon thought she looked beautiful, and he'd caught her talking to the child growing inside of her on more than one occasion. As much as she'd been afraid of what was going to happen with her life, with
their
lives, Simon knew she was excited about this new life, and her excitement was kind of contagious.

"Hit me," Jamie said, licking her spoon clean.

"I wish you wouldn't say it like that," Simon huffed, rolling his eyes when she stuck her tongue out at him. "Anyway, you can't work while you're recovering from giving birth and taking care of the baby, so I figure thinking about your job at The Pit is kind of irrelevant. And I
know
, before you say it, that your mom is what's keeping you here, but when you think about it, she doesn't have to be confined to the house. We could visit her or she could come stay with us if we got a new place somewhere else."

"All her doctors are here, though," Jamie pointed out. "And I love my mom to death, but I don't think having to take care of her and a new baby is going to be very relaxing. Just saying."

Simon nodded. "Point. Plus, I figured you'd say that. Which is why I came up with another plan."

"Aren't you useful?" Jamie asked, grinning. "Hit me."

He ignored it that time. "We find a halfway point. Somewhere out of this town but close enough that it's not a four hour drive if we want to get back to it. Your mom already said that she understands you won't be able to come see her every morning with a baby to deal with, and my dad doesn't mind helping out where he can. Actually, I think he really wants to since he doesn't really do much other than work. We pick a place that's less than an hour away and see what's there."

"That sounds good, I guess," Jamie said thoughtfully. "I mean, I've got some money saved up, and I know you do, too. I mean, if you're offering to help and everything."

"Of course I'm offering, Jamie," Simon replied. "I told you I was in this, didn't I? I meant it. Aside from the fact that I wouldn't let you deal with this on your own, it's my baby, too. And I want to be there for all of it."

She gave him a soft smile that warmed him through and through. She'd told him that she loved him, back when this was all still so shocking, and he had said it back, though it had taken him a while to come to terms with his feelings enough to get the words out there. But he'd meant it all the same. Jamie had been there from the beginning, and when he thought about who he wanted to spend his life with, he couldn't deny that it was her.

They hadn't talked about marriage or anything big and scary like that yet, but if they were going to be raising a child together...

Well. It was something to think about. Maybe once they were settled and knew how the rest of their lives were going to go in the first place.

"I think it's the best plan," he said, reaching over to steal some of her dessert. "Of course, we'll have to wait a bit before we can really start looking for places, but. This looks like a nice neighborhood, don't you think?"

She leaned up to look as he scrolled through image after image of nice little townhouses and the pond in the center of the complex he'd found. "Yeah, if you go for that sort of thing. Seems like a nice place to raise a kid."

Jamie said it casually, but Simon wasn't fooled. It meant a lot to her that they were going to be raising a child together, and he knew it. He reached over and took her hand this time, squeezing her fingers lightly.

"It does. And there's a hospital nearby that's looking for new doctors, plus there's a thriving local paper if you wanted to start writing that way. We all know you could do a good scathing editorial."

She laughed and squeezed his hand back. "I totally could. And there's a lot of writing work to be found online, so it'll be okay. As long as I can see Mom regularly, I'm fine."

"Then it should all work out."

Simon hoped so, anyway. If anyone deserved to have her life go the way she wanted it to, it was Jamie. She'd been thrown so many curve balls, what with her father leaving and her mom being diagnosed with cancer and now this unplanned pregnancy, but she never stopped trying. Honestly, she was one of the people who inspired Simon the most, though he had no idea how to tell her that without being called a terrible sap, so he wasn't even going to try.

"Ugh," Jamie groaned, letting go of his hand. "I have to pee. Again. I swear, the sooner this kid is off my bladder, the better."

Simon snorted. "The better for all of us, I think. You complain like clockwork."

She flipped him off and struggled to her feet, one hand pressed to the small of her back as she made her way from the couch to the bathroom, muttering under her breath the whole time.

Meanwhile, Simon turned his attention back to his laptop. He liked to be organized, and in the chaos of trying to figure out how to make room and time in their lives for a baby, he'd made charts and spreadsheets about the whole thing, and they were very soothing to look at.

Of course, the easiest answer would just be to keep living in the house they were staying in now, the house that Simon had grown up in, and his father had pointed that out to him. But Simon didn't want that, and he didn't think Jamie wanted it either when it came down to it.

They both wanted lives outside of the place where they had grown up.

And if they had to work a little harder to get the things that they really wanted, it would make it all the sweeter when they actually got them. Or so he thought.

Hoped, really.

"Oh, god. Oh, god. SIMON!" Came a cry from the bathroom, and he was on his feet instantly, dashing off to the bathroom and knocking on the door.

"What? What is it?"

"Get
in
here," Jamie hissed hysterically, and he opened to door to see her standing there, pants wet and water at her feet.

If he hadn't have been a doctor, his first urge would have been to ask if she'd not made it to the bathroom in time, but he knew what this was. "Oh god," he echoed. "It's time. It's
time
."

Jamie glared. "You think I haven't
noticed that
?" she bit out.

He excused that because he could only imagine that she was afraid from the pallor of her skin. "Okay. Okay," Simon said, moving more into the bathroom. "Have you had any contractions yet?"

"Little ones, I think," Jamie replied. "Just like little ripples, but I thought maybe it was because I ate too much?"

Simon shook his head. "Definitely not. Okay, so we have some time, then."

"Time to do what? Stand around and have a chat about how I'm about to have a freaking
baby
?"

"Calm down, Jamie. Getting wound up isn't going to make this easier."

The second those words left his mouth, he knew they had been the wrong thing to say.

Jamie narrowed her eyes at him and glared, heat and fear in her eyes. "
You
calm down! Don't tell me to calm down! I'm about to push a
person
out of my
body,
and I'm still standing in the middle of the bathroom! I'm not gonna be calm."

That was fair enough, but he couldn't let her get too worked up.

"I need you to listen to me, Jamie," he said. "Go change your pants, okay? And get your bag. I'm going to call Dad and your mom and the hospital to let them know we're coming in, okay? So they'll be ready for us when we get there."

She looked like she wanted to argue, but instead she went, wincing a little on the way, probably from a contraction.

Only when she was out of his sight did he allow himself to sag against the wall and cover his face with his hands. She was about to give birth. To his child.

It was a lot to deal with, but he knew that this was going to be a million times harder for Jamie than it was for him, so he needed to pull himself together and be there for her. There'd be time to freak out later. Maybe?

But they were as prepared as they could be, and it wasn't like the baby was going to wait any longer if they weren't.

Simon called the hospital first, updating their doctor on Jamie's current condition and giving her a fifteen minute estimate for their arrival. He called Jamie's mom and told her that his dad would pick her up and take her to the hospital if she wanted to be there, and received a telling off that
of course
she wanted to be there for the birth of her first grandchild that reminded him all over again where Jamie got her strength from. Lastly, he called his dad, letting him know what was going on and telling him to go get Adelaide.

He made a quick detour to the bedroom to grab shoes and a jacket and met Jamie in the living room where she was clutching her bag and groaning.

"Ready?" he asked, taking the bag from her.

"I guess. You... You're gonna stay with me, right? While we're at the hospital?"

"Of course, Jamie. We're in this together. Remember?"

She nodded and leaned in to kiss him. "Then let's go."

Jamie had always assumed that movies and television shows about pregnancy were over exaggerating the pain thing just for shock value. Her own mother had told her that things hadn't been that painful when she'd been giving birth to Jamie, and she hadn't asked any of the other women in town who had children for their opinions. All the screaming and breaking their husbands' hands had to be for show, she thought.

But the car ride to the hospital was definitely proving her wrong.

Her fingers dug into the arm rest on her door and gritted her teeth. Simon glanced over at her while he drove, worry on his face. "Bad?" he asked.

"What do you think?" she snapped back, on the verge of hysteria. It felt like she was being kicked in the stomach each time, and they lasted for longer than she even wanted to think about.

"I don't think they're close enough together yet," Simon said regretfully, and Jamie whimpered. "You'll be okay. It'll be okay."

He kept saying that, and she appreciated him being there, she really did, but she wanted to hit something, and his stupid face was becoming a prime candidate the worse the contractions got.

At least the hospital was close, she kept telling herself. Maybe once she got there, she'd feel better and less like she was going to wet her pants in terror.

Because even after all the books and the articles online and getting advice from her mom about this, Jamie still felt like she was woefully unprepared. It was stupid because they had everything already, and they were as ready as they could be according to the list that Simon had made, but still. It felt like she was floundering, and once each contraction faded, a new wave of fear and anxiety took the place of the pain.

"Breathe, Jamie," Simon reminded her, reaching over to squeeze her hand as he drove. "You're gonna be fine."

His voice was soothing, and she let herself fall into it, focusing on her breath. One in, one out, until the panic that was clenching her started to let go gradually.

"Good girl," he praised.

And then they were there. Pulling into the parking lot of the hospital and Simon was getting out and helping her out of the car, grabbing her bag and not letting her go as they made their way inside.

They were already ready for her, and things happened in a blur from there. She was helped into wheelchair and taken to a room while Simon checked them in. He was only away from her for a few minutes, but it felt like too long, and while the nurse helped her into a hospital gown and then got her settled in the bed and hooked up to everything, it took a lot of effort for Jamie not to order someone to go find him.

But he came around the corner soon enough, smiling with relief to see her as he put the bag in the chair and came to hold her hand.

"How're you doing? Did they say anything?"

Jamie clung to him. "They said the doctor would be down in a few minutes. I... Simon, I'm scared. What if... What if I can't do it? What if I mess it up?" She felt like she was on the verge of tears already, and the hard part hadn't even started yet.