Where the Heart Leads (9 page)

Herr
Ollenburger dropped on his back in the grass, his arms straight out from his sides. All three girls dove on top of him, the littlest one burying her hands in his beard. His arms wrapped around the squealing group, and he rocked back and forth, his deep chuckle rumbling.

Belinda, with tears stinging her eyes, crept away. While she performed her duties at the mercantile, she replayed images from the morning scene. Why did the playful romp have such a hold on her? A longing rose up and held with a pressure in her chest that became a physical ache. She wanted what the Ollenburgers had.

Love. Laughter.
Fun
.

At noon, she hurried to the end of Main Street, her heart pattering with hope that her path would cross that of
Herr
Ollen-burger and Thomas when they met for lunch. To her delight, she reached her backyard just as Thomas climbed down from the roof to join his father. She lifted her skirts slightly and ran to them.

“Hello!” She sounded breathless, but she knew it wasn’t because of the brief run. Suddenly she questioned the wisdom of speaking with
Herr
Ollenburger and Thomas. Now that she stood side by side with the men, her evening crying bout—and Thomas’s kindness—came back to haunt her. Would he feel uncomfortable around her?

Herr
Ollenburger waved in greeting. “Hello, Belinda. I must thank you for the
goot
gift of jam you give to my wife.” He patted his belly, chuckling. “It was
dääj goot
on Summer’s fresh-baked bread.”

His compliment sent a shaft of warmth through her middle. “I’m so glad you enjoyed it.”

Thomas said, “How are you today?”

She read the meaning behind the simple question. Had she recovered from her sadness? Although nothing in her family had changed, she’d been allowed a glimpse of happy times. Watching it wasn’t the same as living it, but it was better than not knowing happiness existed at all.

She offered a trembling smile and slight nod. “I am fine,
dank
. And you?”

“I’m fine.”

“
Ja
, fine, and Thomas is nearly finished with your roof, Belinda,”
Herr
Ollenburger said with pride in his voice. “Just the tarring of cracks, and a rainproof roof you will have.”

Thomas’s head jerked toward his father, his jaw dropping slightly in an expression of confusion. “Tar?”

Herr
Ollenburger delivered a light slap to Thomas’s shoulder. “Why, of course, tar. How else do you seal all the little places where water can leak through?”

“Oh.” Thomas looked at the roof and heaved a sigh. “Of course.”

Eager to see his smile return, Belinda said, “Thank you, Thomas, for your hard work.” He merely nodded in response, his eyes troubled.

Herr
Ollenburger added in a jovial tone, “And I thank you, Belinda, for the newspaper your family shares with us. One of last week’s papers has an article about Plymouth Rock chickens which I find very
intra’ssaunt
.”

Apparently he had found the article interesting enough to memorize nearly all of it, and the man’s lively retelling of the merits of the new breed of chickens brought a smile to Thomas’s face, which Belinda mirrored, her heart trembling at the change in his countenance.

When
Herr
Ollenburger said, “And now we must go to lunch,” she experienced a sense of loss for two reasons—she didn’t want to go into her somber house after the light-hearted conversation, and she didn’t want to leave the Ollenburgers.

This time, it wasn’t just Thomas who held her captive. She wanted time with
Herr
Ollenburger. She saw in the big, burly man the kind of father she wished she’d known as a child. One who would play and laugh and simply spend time with his children. Although Belinda had loved her father, she’d never really known him. The thought left her feeling sad and empty inside.

“Belinda!”
Herr
Ollenburger’s booming voice carried a cheerful note as he put his arm around his son’s shoulders and turned toward his own house. “Have a
goot
day!”

She nodded and scurried to her back door. To her surprise, Malinda shuffled past her into the yard, carrying a basket. Without a word, her sister crossed to the sagging line that extended from the corner of the house to the little shed on the corner of the neighbor’s property. Snatching out a handful of tea towels from the basket, she began flinging them one by one over the line.

A smile grew on Belinda’s face at the sight of her sister under the noonday sun. Malinda hadn’t ventured outside the house for weeks. Surely this was a good sign.

“Malinda!”

Malinda peeked between two towels. “What?”

The harsh tone chased the smile from Belinda’s face. “It . . . it’s good to see you outside.”

Malinda thrust aside the wet items with a swipe of her wrist and leaned forward, panting with the small exertion, to scowl at Belinda. “With you gone all the time, laundry isn’t getting done. I had to do it.”

Stung, Belinda considered reminding her sister they wouldn’t have money coming in if she didn’t go to work every day. Once more she wondered what had happened to the money Papa earned over the years. Mama insisted they were destitute and worried constantly about being sent to the home for orphaned or penniless people outside of Hillsboro.

Instead of saying something that would start an argument, Belinda stepped forward and touched her sister’s arm. “Thank you for doing the laundry, Malinda.”

“I haven’t started lunch. You put the skillet on the shelf instead of leaving it on the stove.” Malinda barked the words then swung her arm, plucking a shirt from the basket. The grunt of effort it took to throw the wet article of clothing substantiated Malinda’s lack of strength.

Guilt sat heavily in Belinda’s chest. She tried so hard to accommodate her sister, yet more often than not she failed. She backed up two steps, waving her hand toward the house. “I’ll get lunch started. It will only take a few minutes.”

In the kitchen, her hands busy cutting up potatoes and onions to fry with links of sausage, Belinda looked across the alley to the Ollenburgers’ kitchen window. When their family sat down to sup together, did they discuss the day? Express appreciation for the contributions each made to the household? Enjoy a pleasant time of fellowship? Somehow, based on her observation of
Herr
Ollenburger with his little girls, she doubted a meal at their table mimicked one in her family’s dining room.

Even though Mama hardly ate a bite, Belinda still set the table the way her mother always preferred—with their finest dishes arranged just so on a linen cloth of creamy white spread across the table. They never ate in the kitchen, even though the room had adequate space for a small table; instead, they always used the dining room between the parlor and kitchen. She knew many families only used their dining rooms when guests came for a meal, but Mama had always insisted on formality.

But then Belinda remembered that Summer,
Herr
Ollenburger’s second wife, had been raised in the city of Boston. So maybe the Ollenburgers sat down to a formal setting, too. Maybe she, Malinda, and Mama weren’t the only ones who ate without speaking and carefully blotted their mouths between bites.

For some reason, Belinda needed to know. Somehow, if the Ollenburgers did
something
just like her own family, then she could bear it. Maybe she was building the Ollenburgers up in her head too much and, in so doing, putting her own family down. But for what reason could she barge in on her neighbors in the middle of a meal?

Mama plodded into the kitchen, her hair uncombed, wearing Papa’s old bathrobe over her nightclothes. She looked into the skillet and released a sigh. “Potatoes. Can we have tomatoes instead? Stewed tomatoes would taste so good.”

Shocked, Belinda dropped the knife into the tin basin and spun, taking hold of her mother’s shoulders. “If I find you stewed tomatoes, Mama, you will eat?”

Her mother shrugged. Belinda interpreted the response as a yes.

Surely, Summer Ollenburger had canned tomatoes stored in her pantry. And the woman would cheerfully share a jar if Belinda told her Mama wanted to eat. Giving her mother’s shoulders a quick squeeze, she said, “Stay here, Mama. I’ll be right back.” Then she dashed out the back door and across the yards to the Ollenburgers’ house.

8

T
HOMAS
CLOSED HIS SISTERS’ STORYBOOK
. Pa usually read them a bedtime story and listened to their prayers, but he’d left the house right after dinner and still hadn’t returned. So the girls had begged Thomas to read to them instead. Lena fell asleep midway through the story about a cat who brought gifts to the king’s castle to win favors for his master, but both Abby and Gussie remained alert to the end.

He placed the storybook back on its shelf while they slipped to their knees beside the bed and recited a list of God-blesses. Then, the prayers done, they bounced onto the mattress and pulled up the covers. Thomas leaned forward and gave them each a kiss on the top of the head. “Good night,” he said, straightening. “
Schlop die gesunt
.”

Abby’s eyes grew round in her pixie face. “You said Papa’s words.”

Gussie’s forehead scrunched in confusion. “How come you know
schlop die gesunt
?”

Thomas grinned. “Well, your papa is my papa, too, you know. When I was your age, he said
schlop die gesunt
to me.”

Abby nodded, her expression serious. “And Papa says we’ll say it to our children someday.”

With a giggle, Gussie added, “You’ll be a papa, Thomas, but we’ll be mamas.”

Thomas tucked the covers up to his sisters’ chins, his heart pounding in his chest at the thought of tucking his own children into bed someday. The task done, he extinguished the lamp and crept from the room.

In the hallway, he paused and leaned against the wall. He tried to imagine his own children. Bright-eyed and golden-haired like Abby and Gussie, or dark-haired and dimpled like Little Lena? Odd how golden-haired children made him think of Belinda and dark-haired ones led his thoughts to Daphne.

He pinched his brow when he remembered Belinda knocking so timidly on the door at noon today to request a jar of Summer’s tomatoes. She had such a strange look in her eyes as she stood in the doorway, examining his family at the kitchen table. When she’d left, she’d looked disappointed, but he couldn’t imagine why. She’d gotten what she’d come for.

With a shake of his head, he removed the thoughts of Belinda and focused once more on the future, on becoming a father. The idea of being a papa appealed to him, especially teaching a child about the Bible and growing things and nature, the way Pa had taught him. But where would he raise his children—in a city like Boston, or a small community like Gaeddert? So much depended on— “Thomas?” Pa’s voice, carrying from downstairs, kept him from completing the thought.

Forced to set aside his musings, he hurried down the enclosed staircase to the parlor where his father waited. “Yes, Pa?”

Pa’s face beamed, his beard bristling with the stretch of his grin. “I have gift for you.” He brought his hand from behind his back and thrust a square package wrapped in brown paper at Thomas.

Thomas took the package, and he knew instantly what the paper contained. “You finished the frame.”

Pa nodded. Summer stepped beside him and looped her hand through his elbow. Pa patted her hand, still looking at Thomas. “
Ja
, I finished. A fine frame it is—oak stained the color of an acorn’s hull. There is even glass to protect your diploma from dust.”

Thomas peeled back the paper and admired Pa’s handiwork. The frame’s corners fit perfectly, the wood sanded smooth. “Whose woodshop did you use?”

Pa raised one shoulder in a shrug. “The lumberyard let me use their machines and tools.”

Thomas imagined his father, alone in the lumberyard, working to complete a gift for his son. He swallowed. “It’s perfect, Pa. Thank you.”

“Come. Let us put the diploma in the frame and see how it looks.”

Thomas allowed his father the privilege of putting the hand-lettered sheepskin in the frame. When the back was secured, Pa held the framed certificate at arm’s length and admired it. Thomas’s tongue itched with the desire to tell Pa about the job opportunity in Boston, but not wanting to disrupt his father’s pleasure in this moment, he remained silent.

Pa sighed and handed the frame back to Thomas. “
Ach
, son, how nice it is to see your name on that certificate. All the years apart, when so muchly we missed you, I would think of the day when you would be a graduate of higher learning. It kept the deep ache away and made the separation bearable.” He clamped his big hand over Thomas’s shoulder, tears winking in his lined eyes. “And now you are graduated, and you are home, and you will have your own business.”

Before Thomas could reply, Pa clapped his hands together and said, “So where do you want to hang it? On this wall, or over here, where people standing outside the door will see it?”

Thomas considered saying, “I’ll hang it in my apartment in Boston,” but he couldn’t. Not when his father looked like a little boy on Christmas morning. He pointed. “How about here?”

Pa nodded. “I will fetch hammer and tack.”

But Summer stopped him. “Banging will wake the girls, Peter. Let’s wait until morning.”

Pa heaved a sigh of defeat, but he said, “As always, my wife is the sensible one. We wait until morning.” With his arm around Summer’s waist, he guided her from the room.

Thomas watched his parents move to the stove, where Summer poured a cup of coffee and offered it to Pa. They stayed there, quietly sipping and talking together, but Pa’s last comment echoed through Thomas’s mind.
“As always, my wife is the sensible one.”
Of course! Thomas should talk to Summer about his plans. Summer could make Pa understand why Thomas needed to return to Boston. Why hadn’t he thought of this sooner?

9

T
HE MISERABLE JOB
of tarring took nearly three weeks, waylaid by two summer showers and three days of winds so gusty only a fool would venture onto a roof. But at the end of the first day of July, Thomas’s boss handed him his pay and made a sad face. “Thomas, you have been a good worker, but I am afraid I have some bad news.”