Where the Ivy Hides (18 page)

No, pay no bloody attention to the net, it isn’t how it looks, I swear I’m not out to catch me anything.

I don’t even have to really pay attention, me thumbs just sweep across the phone and spell out exactly, precisely what I want to say in a text:

Me Ivy, love. I know, I know, we had lunch today. But, like always, your beauty and your wit left me stumbling for me words and to be honest, well, the entire lunch went off the rails. The entire bloody thing. Ivy love, I didn’t even get to the point. You know I have a hard time getting to me point sometimes. I’m rattling. Shit! Bloody hell, I’m babbling again, okay, what I’m trying to ask is, I wantcha to have dinner with me tomorrow. Now, I know it’s a Friday, and we usually keep our lunches in the broad day of light and during the week day, but there’s a new little steak house on the east side of town…Ivy, have dinner with me. Please. I wantcha to have dinner with me.

At five-thirty-three the next mornin
g
she replied:

Ryker, I’d love to have dinner with you. Let me know when and where. Xoxo

Chapter 23

Ryker

I’m a bloody mess by the time Jenny shows up on Friday, a bloody fucking mess. I can’t pick out what tie to wear. I know me Ivy likes me in black, but a black tie with a black shirt and black slacks seems a bit much to me.

After thirty minutes, I toss the bloody thing on me bed, grab me wallet and keys and head into the den where Jenny and Lily Blake are whistling at me as I shove me things into me pockets.

“Daddy, you look so handsome on your date!” Me sweet little Lily squeals like a goof.

I nod as I notice Jenny went a little low with the buttons of her top this evening as well as a little short with the skirt. Holy moly, I wish she’d stop.

“Well thank ya, me Lily love. Let’s hope I still have the charm I used to, and maybe I’ll do okay. Ay?” I chuckle on my way towards the front door.

As I adjust me cufflinks, I turn around and tell me little princess before heading off, “I let ya stay up and see me off, now it’s past nine o’clock and it’s time for bath and bed. In that order, am I understood?”

She nods a little too eagerly, “Yes, sirio, Daddio. Bath. Then Bed.” She salutes me.

“Ay.” I tell her. Before I close the door, I make sure Jenny has my number and wish them both a goodnight.

At the exact moment I see Ivy a little piece of me dies at the same time a little piece of me is brought back to life.

She’s the complete embodiment of stunning and breathtaking beauty.

Her red satin pin-up style dress alone makes me bloody mouth water, and don’t even get me started on the nude fuck-me heels. Ya know, there’s just something about you women and your legs when you flaunt around wearing those bloody heels you wear and you bloody well know it.

Her dark hair barely brushes the top of her shoulders when she glances down as I spot her in the bar off to the side of Mazzio’s. She quickly accepts a drink of sparkling water from the bartender before playing off the fact that she’s blushing again, for the second day in a row when she sees me staring at her.

I speak to the host, notifying him of our arrival before making me way to Ivy in the bar.

I have a plan for this evening, much like I do every time I have a planned encounter with Ivy, and this encounter is no different. What is different is my mind set prior.

You see, I’ve decided to go into this one, without holding back.

After some long and hard consideration on me ride to the restaurant, I figured why the hell not? Get the shit out of the way, get whatever it is I have in me system out, then finish our encounter on track. I just have to maintain me withering control for a short time, instead of racking me brain against the wall trying the entire time.

It’s gotta be more productive, and I’m at me wits end here. I need progress.

Hell,
we
need progress.

When I’m close enough to touch her, I brush me fingertips down the side of her arm without thought, and when I see goose bumps raise on her pale skin I smile.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Ivy love. You take me bloody breath away even now.” I growl into her ear before nipping at it. “Our table’s ready, shall we?”

I link her arm in the crook of mine and nod towards the Maitr’d. As we make our way in his wake of the parting crowd a few steps behind, she attempts small talk. “You don’t look so bad, yourself. You have always cleaned up nice. You can get dirtier faster than any man I’ve ever seen, but damn do you clean up well,” she chuckles as we take our seats.

After ordering us more sparkling water, I give in and scoot over to her side of the booth, putting us both with our backs to the room.

Without picking up the menu, I lean back in my seat, but not before wrapping me arm around her.

“You looked a wee bit chilly over here all by yourself.” I lie. She looks just as stunning as ever. “If you mind, though, I’ll carry me arse right back—“ I point in the direction of my seat, and she puts her tiny hand on my arm.

“No, it’s okay.” After rubbing the outside of her arms she smiles at me and sets her hand back on mine. “I am a little cold. Thank you.”

She’s giving in. I never thought I’d really see it, but right there in front of me eyes, Winter Ivy gives in…just a little.

But it’s enough. “Ay, thank you, Ivy love.” I return her smile.

We’ve ordered and I’ve done well to keep me hands to me self. Other than continuously running my fingertips up and down the outside of her arm, me other is wrapped around her and I’ve been a bloody eagle scout. Me scout’s honor, however, takes the path more frequently traveled not long after the waiter leaves our table with the menus.

I don’t think. I just do. Whatever the bloody hell me body wants to, I do.

Without questioning me self or interrupting me other hand from trailing up and down her dainty arm, I lean into her, placing me other hand on the top of her thigh.

When me lips brush her outer ear, I shove her thigh a bit, opening them just enough to slide me hand up her skirt and growl against her ear, “Do you have any idea how bloody bad I want you right fucking now, Ivy? It’s taken everything in me not to drag you out of here and fuck you to bloody hell and back.”

“Dammit, Ryker. Why do you make this so difficult?!” It isn’t said as a question, she says it as a statement. Like it’s just how it is. When me finger brushes her
bare
pussy and I feel how wet she is, I groan as me cock leaks pre-cum in me black slacks and thank the Lord the woman likes me in black on black.

“I don’t think I have it in me to last, me Ivy.” I bite down into the flesh behind her ear before licking and kissing it.

Yes, I’m aware I’m administering a bloody hickey, but I don’t give a fuck.

All the vital lines I’m crossing right now, she’s lucky the only urge I’m giving into is bloody marking her.

She should count her lucky stars and be glad I don’t have her little ass bent over this table fucking her right into kingdom come from behind.

As I sink my finger deep inside her, I shudder when I feel how wet she is. “God, I love your eager little cunt, Ivy. So bloody wet.” I slide a second finger inside, and when I feel her rocking against the heel of my hand, I grab one of her hands and place it on me crotch. “I need ya to keep fucking me hand, Ivy. I don’t want you to stop, and you’re not to lose your rhythm. Not one time. When you get me cock pulled out and you set the pace, stroking my cock in rhythm with your pussy fucking my fingers, I’ll tell you what I want you to do next. Do I make me self clear, Ivy?”

Her breath quickens as she licks her dry lips, but she nods.

Good girl.

All it takes, is a few scrapes of me blunt middle fingernail and her wet pussy clamps down around my hand at the same time my other hand clamps down over her mouth. She fumbles my cock before ignoring it completely as her own nails score across the taut skin covering my abdomen.

“Ay. Good girl, Ivy,” I spit out around clenched teeth.

With me hand raised to the sky, I swear to Christ there was a reason to this dinner, but for the life of me, I can’t recall what it was.

I can’t recall a bloody thing, me cock is so swollen he aches. I don’t know what any one expects from a lad like me…after witnessing Ivy come to bloody life in me arms the way she did.

I’ll tell ya what I need and that’s a double scotch, neat.

But I keep me mouth closed as I slip me fingers from Ivy as the waiter serves us our plates.

I grasp for the right words as I discreetly tuck me self away, and after coming up short with anything remotely intelligent to say, I lay me linen napkin in me lap and slowly start. “Ivy, I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. I tried to have a relationship with a few other women after you left me, and even that was at least a year after I had validation that you were indeed okay and living in Seattle. But, if I’m being completely honest, I knew immediately there was no one but you. I’ve never met any other girl like you, Ivy love, and every one I’ve met after ya, just proves it a little more.”

I smile.

I pause.

I breathe.

After a few moments of silence she speaks, “Every time, you say you have something you want to tell me. We meet, but you always say the same thing. Ryker, why don’t you say the one thing that scares the living shit out of you? Maybe then we’ll get somewhere.”

Her tone is calm and her words are to the point.

And like always, I do exactly what Ivy says to, even though I know neither of us are ready, I tell the woman I love, “Ivy love, I have our daughter. I’ve had our daughter. With me mum’s help and some luck at the adoption agency, I was able to get custody of her. Ay, you asked yesterday if she was five, she is. That means she’s old enough to know she has a mum. And she wants to know where she is.”

Ryker

As I watch me Ivy process the words, I think of her at me Lily’s age,and I wonder if she’d already been hurt too many times by life at five. But when I remember where me Ivy was at just five years older than Lily, huddled up in a fort and left in a dirty mess on the floor, I doubt she had any light in her eyes when she was Lily’s age.

I’m surprised how relieved I am when I say the words that have been plaguing me day, noon, and night since me daughter was born. I’ve felt so guilty.

And after Ivy left me, in the span of time when I still thought she was just gone, safe, but gone, it was that guilt that kept me from chasing after her and begging her to give me another chance. Then, when I found out it’d been her on I-10 in the car that’d wrecked, that it’d been her who was air-lifted away? Oh that was an entirely different story.

I packed up me and Lily’s shit, then put me new little baby on me bike and drove. Okay, we only drove to the airport, not all the way to Seattle, but still, I went to get me girl.

I stood there at the foot of Ivy’s hospital bed until me feet started to ache with our sleeping baby girl in me arms.

I just wanted her to wake up. Even if it was just for a second, I just needed her to wake up.

After two hours, me Lily Blake started fussing. It was close to feeding time. I was going to come back the next morning. To be completely honest with you, I was going to go tell the nurses the patient in room thirteen was me wife, I was there with our child, and to add me to the contact list. I was going to tell them anything I could to sound important.

Instead, I met Roman William Payne. And in doing so, I met the reason me Ivy will probably never be sane.

Literally, he was sitting in the dark. The darkest corner to ever grace a hospital was the one Roman Payne was lurking in the first time he spoke to me.

“Ryker David Killian. Twenty-six. Born to Ryker Blake Killian and Bree Lilian MacBrady. Need I go further, son, or shall you follow me?” Me eyes couldn’t make him out until he stepped from the shadows.

Ay, he may have had me by a few inches in height, but the man is tall. Six-six at least. Hair black as night and a three-piece suit to match. And that man had no issues topping it off with a tie as black, if not blacker.

When it registered who he was, I tucked me sleeping Lily Blake closer to me before extending me arm, “You must be me Ivy’s dad. Yes, sir, I’m Ryker Killian.”

After we shook hands, he buttoned his suit jacket and motioned for the door. I followed him to the waiting room with Lily still in me arms.

It seemed more like I was being escorted to my trial and execution than meeting me new father-in-law.

And when we stepped into the waiting room and another bloody giant stepped from more shadows, out of reflex I began explaining. “Look, I’m just here to see me Ivy. She lives—“

Roman cut me off, “She lives here.” He extended his arm and we shake, again. “I’m Roman Payne. Ivy’s father.” He motioned towards giant two before sliding his hands into his pocket. “This is Andrew. He’s my long-time right hand man. He’s going to hold your little bundle of joy.” His hand slid from his pocket and pointed in the direction of some chairs. “Right here, while you and I step outside and have a word. Don’t fret, you’ll be able to see the infant from just outside. We have matters to discuss that involve our Ivy, and I wouldn’t want to wake the sleeping baby.”

The man was…intimidating. He was demanding and  had a presence unlike any man I’ve ever known. Man. Not person. If there was ever a male version, an older male version, of me Ivy, it was the man who stood before me.

I handed Lily Blake to Andrew and stepped outside to speak to the love of me life’s father.

But I positioned me self so I could easily slip through the double doors if needed, while keeping a bird’s eye view of me Lily.

Roman noticed and acknowledged it with a chuckle.

“She yours?” he asked.             

I spoke as freely as I could with the man, “Ay. And yours.” Me heart warms and I smile at her, watching as her big blue eyes open before looking around and settling on Andrew, the second giant.

After a moment, I glance back at Roman. Ay. I’d caught him off guard. He looked a bit like a cat’s had his tongue.

So I asked him, “Cat got your tongue?” Chuckling.

“How old?” He cut me chuckling off.

“Ten weeks,” I replied.

“The doctors haven’t said anything. She hasn’t said anything.” He wasn’t asking, just stating facts. He turned away from me for a bit, then whipped around, pointing, “She didn’t want her own—“He stopped before turning his back to me and finishing, “She didn’t want the baby. You did.”

He didn’t turn around for the longest moment. I waited. And waited.

When he turned around, he followed his daughter’s suit, and broke me new father’s heart.

“Look, it’s obvious Ivy isn’t happy with you. She was kidnapped at the age of three. Dragged across the United States enduring God knows what, planted in some little town in Florida and forced to grow up pretending everything was okay. When it wasn’t. When it still isn’t. She had more drugs in her system than I’ve ever seen someone her age consume, much less live through, and the amount of illegal substances found in her car was enough to put her away for years. You tried. Obviously she loved you enough to try. Let’s just leave it alone for right now. Let’s just make sure she lives through the night, first, then we’ll revisit this,” he motions to me then Lily Blake, “part of her family’s reunion. Can we both agree that is what is right for our Ivy, right now? Today?” he asked.

I told Roman the only thing left to say that night, “Ay. I want to do what’s right.”

And the uncertainty I felt that night, mirrors how I feel in this very moment.

I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing five years ago, and I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing right now.

I just know I can’t live without me Ivy… not any more.

As I watch her nervously bite her lip and fidget her hands on the table, I keep me eyes on her, holding me breath the entire time.

When she nervously looks up at me from under her lashes, she smiles.

And my heart beats again for the first time since the nurse closed the door behind herself on the day Lily was born. I instantly wrap me arms around her.

Ivy’s hands fist the lapels of me suit jacket as her broken voice whispers, “Her name is Lily Blake?”

“Ay.” I kiss the top of her head.

“She’s here?” Ivy pulls harder on me lapels, so I look down at her.

“Ay. Well, she’s at me house here. We just got moved in. She’s with the sitter.” Then I remember the flowers Lily’s been sending her mum, unknowingly. “She’s been sending you flowers. Every Thursday. She asked me around Valentine’s to send some flowers to the place you send your mum flowers if you can’t find yours.” I smile. I like telling me Ivy about me Lily.

“Oh.” I bring me hand up to her cheek and brush away a stray tear. “The white lilies,” she smiles at me, “—now they make sense.” She burrows her eyebrows as her wheels start spinning.

I just say it. I just spit the first words that come to me, right out of me mouth, “Ivy love, would you like to have lunch with me and our daughter tomorrow?” I chuckle when I see her reaction.

“Can I?” Me Ivy’s eyes light up like me Lily’s, and a small piece of me breaks inside at the same moment something new and big comes to life.

“Of course ya can, Ivy love.”

I play the perfect gentleman while answering all of Ivy’s enthusiastic questions about Lily. She asks about how hard it was in the beginning and the diaper changing. She wanted to know about some growth scale thing and asked how Lily scored on it. I didn’t know, I just know the doc always says she’s growing like a weed and everything is great. She wanted to know her favorite foods. When she took her first steps. How old she was when she first started talking and what her first word was. And she also asked which one of us she looks like. To which I informed her that she has been living the last five years walking around the same green and blue planet as her clone.

She didn’t believe me.

And she only cried once during our talk, and that would have been when I pulled out my phone to show her her clone.

The first picture was of the day we moved into our house here. We’d barely been in the apartment in Northern Cali for six months when Reesie called with a plan to save me Ivy that didn’t involve him. I’d told him I didn’t want to see his bloody face, or I’d bloody it if he ever tried to speak to me while trying to bag me Ivy. But not on the day he called with his plan. That day, I let him speak. And I thank me lucky stars that I did.

The movers had gone ahead of us that day while we stayed behind and had one last hoorah tea party at the apartment in Cali. That put the movers about an hour ahead of us. Me and Lily had just pulled up in the driveway on my bike after the five-hour trip. Lily rode well until the last little leg of the drive, but ya couldn’t tell it by the excitement in her eyes when I snapped the picture. It was a picture I took with me cell phone. Lily was sitting in front of me with her hands still on the handlebars while I held the phone and told her to say ‘squeeze cheese’. We both still had our helmets on our heads and I’d just pulled down me bandana to smile. It was a good day.

I smile thinking about how close I was to getting me everything that day. And as I look at me Ivy across the small space between us on her front doorstep after dinner, I thank me lucky stars I kept hold of that hope I had on the day me and Lily Blake took that picture that made me Ivy cry.

Maintaining my Gentleman ways, at least till I slipped me fingers from Ivy, I gently kiss her lips and mutter against them, “I’ll text ya when I get home, Me Ivy. And I wantcha to know, I don’t plan on letting you slip away from me, again.” After one more kiss, I say goodnight before getting on my bike and heading home to me Lily, and thinking of what I can say in me text to her mum when I get home.

If I’m being straight as an arrow with you, I’m still a little shocked at how well she took it. I really am. And for the life of me, I don’t want to lose her again.

After I’ve extricated me self out of yet another awkward advance by Jenny, I send the lass on home and kiss me Lily goodnight before taking a shower and finally tucking me self in bed. But I make sure to text Ivy before letting me eyes close for the last time.

I can’t tell you how happy I am. I will tell you it’s been a long, long time. I can’t wait until tomorrow, Ivy love. I’m thinking a picnic around eleven o’clock. Let me know…I love you, me Ivy. Goodnight.