Where Women are Kings (27 page)

‘But, if he does come home, it might not be safe,’ said Nikki. ‘What if he does it again?’ She held her stomach. The baby kicked her, hard, as if it was angry with her. As if she wasn’t a good mother to her child, even when it was inside her body. She tried to ignore the stinging of her cut.

‘It’s Elijah we need to worry about. Not us. How safe will he be if he doesn’t come home? Elijah will spend the rest of his life in care.’ Obi stood up. ‘How did this happen? We have let Elijah down.’ His voice was distant and his body turned away from her.

Nikki began to cry again. ‘Please, Obi. Please don’t be angry with me any more. If you need to blame anyone, then blame his birth mother.’ She felt the heat rising through her. ‘What happened to him to make him like this?’

She walked over and stood in front of him. She could see his eyes water the tiniest bit as he looked away. Or maybe she imagined it. ‘All I know for certain,’ he said, ‘is that it wasn’t Elijah’s fault. We needed to keep everything textbook.’

Nikki blinked. ‘All I know,’ she said, ‘is what I feel. Life isn’t textbook. It’s messy.’

She reached her arm towards Obi. ‘But you’re right, we have to try to stick to the advice. We have to find out everything we can about Elijah, about children like Elijah.’ She shook her head. ‘We don’t know anything. Not really. They never told us anything specific.’

Obi looked at her for a long time, as if he was deciding something. He had the tiniest frown. ‘Elijah must come home. We have to get this right,’ he said.

Nikki frowned. ‘How can we get this right, if we don’t even know what happened to our son?’

Obi shook his head and lifted his arm as though he was reaching for Nikki’s, but then dropped it back down again as though he simply didn’t have the energy.

*

When all the social workers arrived, Obi was talking once more, but too loudly; how they wanted Elijah back! Elijah, their son, who she loved more than she thought it was possible to love. But there was a voice inside her that she couldn’t talk to the team about. What if he attacked her again? Or Obi? Or Jasmin? Or the baby? What if next time she wasn’t so lucky? Ricardo was sitting next to her on one side and Obi on the other. Across the table was a new social worker they’d never met, a specialist foster-carer, Mike, who Elijah had been sent to stay with until Daddy had insisted on picking him up, the new manager, a sour-faced woman with broken veins across her cheekbones, and Chioma. Chioma was the only person at the table smiling.

‘You’ve had a terrible shock,’ Chioma said. ‘We’re all here to find out exactly what triggered this and how we move forwards. We’re here to help.’

‘We don’t want to talk about disruption,’ said Nikki. She circled her arms over her bump.

Obi nodded. ‘We just need a plan to make sure he is safe and that we can safely look after him. He will need psychiatric evaluation and we want a post-adoption support plan.’

Nikki nodded and went on, ‘But we are also worried about what else Elijah might do. We’d like to know exactly what isn’t in the reports. In fact, we want all the reports. We need to know what happened to our son. You told us some of it, but we never expected this.’

The sour-faced manager leant forwards and put her cold
hand over Nikki’s. ‘This is a terrible thing that happened,’ she said. ‘We haven’t kept anything from you, I can assure you.’

Ricardo nodded. ‘We talked about the fire, and the suspicion that Elijah caused the fire. In terms of the reports, you can have access to what we have – all of Elijah’s reports. But I’m afraid that you can’t see all of Deborah’s reports, unless they relate to Elijah, as that is Deborah’s private information. And you need to remember that we only know what we ourselves have been told.’

Obi didn’t say anything; he looked far away.

Nikki looked around the room at all the faces, and she suddenly didn’t trust any of them. ‘I want everything.’

The manager let go of her hand.

The new social worker was writing frantically and had a frown stretching from the bridge of her nose to the top of her forehead.

Ricardo turned towards Nikki. ‘We’ve shown you everything that we thought was relevant. Elijah’s full C.P.R. You met the medical officer and we also discussed with you his extreme trauma, how it might affect him.’ He stopped talking and cleared his throat. ‘But last night Elijah said something very worrying to me. And it seems that more has come to light since the birth mother’s last assessment.’

Nikki watched the scribbling pen. Obi’s breath beside her was shallow. She thought of Elijah, alone in a strange room in Granddad’s house, only two roads away, and her stomach twisted. She thought of her baby.

The manager sat forwards. ‘But before Ricardo goes on, I just want to say that this doesn’t really change anything. As far as we’re concerned, nothing would have been handled differently. We would have given you all the same advice.
As an organisation, we’re proud to work in a completely transparent way—’

‘What has come to light? What does that mean? What did Elijah say?’ Nikki thought of Elijah’s face and smacked her hand hard on the table. The social workers stopped writing. Everyone looked up at her face.

After what seemed like minutes, Ricardo spoke. ‘Elijah believes he is a wizard, or is possessed by one.’ He bit his lip. ‘That’s what he’s been trying to tell us.’ His face creased. ‘He believes he brings bad luck to everyone around him.’

Nikki stared. Obi didn’t move. ‘He was shouting something when it happened,’ Nikki said. ‘From the Bible. He’s done that before.’

Ricardo went on, ‘This fits in with what we’ve learnt about Deborah. I’m afraid it’s what we suspected, back when Elijah first mentioned the wizard. We couldn’t jump to conclusions. It seems that Deborah was more involved with the church than we previously thought and there was certainly some ritualistic abuse happening. The leader of Deborah’s church was arrested but fled to Nigeria, though they are currently looking for him.’

‘Ritualistic abuse? What do you mean? What happened to Elijah?’

‘Well, we have given you all the information as we had it, but it would seem that the birth mother and the church leaders were trying to exorcise a demon from Elijah’s body. They believed him to be possessed by evil. And it was the methods they used to exorcise that were abusive. We believe that, in addition to neglect and to the physical abuse that you already know about, he was poisoned and bathed in acid. We knew the scars on his body came from physical abuse, but we had no idea about the nature of it.’ Ricardo’s voice was
breaking. His face looked very young all of a sudden. ‘He was tortured.’

The world became very slow and the air sticky to breathe. ‘And you knew this?’ Obi’s hand was on her arm. ‘Acid? Poison? You knew this and didn’t disclose it?’

‘No, we didn’t know the extent of the abuse,’ said Ricardo. ‘Maybe we never will. We only know what the birth mother has told us, because a lot of it may have happened when Elijah was preverbal.’

Nikki’s head was spinning. She would like to kill her son’s birth mum, and whoever else was involved. She imagined what Elijah looked like as a baby, how frightened he must have been. She thought of Elijah’s face. She felt sick rise in her throat. Everything blurred. She was terrified of what Elijah had been through, of how that would show itself. And she was even more terrified of losing him.

‘Our son,’ Obi said. She looked at his face. Obi, who was so sure of himself, who was sure of everything and the centre of safety, Obi was terrified. Nikki could see it then. ‘He’s our son,’ said Obi. ‘He’s with my dad until he can come home later today. He’s not going back into care.’

The new social worker sat up. She kept fiddling with a piece of her curly hair, winding it around her finger and then letting it spring back. ‘Nobody is sending Elijah back into care. And that would have to be a decision led by you.’

Ricardo nodded. ‘It sounds as if you’re both committed to having Elijah home as soon as possible, no matter how difficult the challenges you’ve faced.’ He smiled at Nikki.

But she was concentrating on Obi. His face was blank. He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it. Nikki felt her heart beat in her neck.

Chioma spoke. ‘Right. This is good. You’re angry and sad
and a little frightened: that’s completely normal. And I for one agree that you need to see more information if this is ever to work.’ While Chioma was speaking, the social workers’ pens slowed down, as if even pens were affected by her hypnotic voice.

‘I’ve got to know Elijah very well during our sessions and I’ve also been in touch with Doctor Peters, from C.A.M.H.S. – who sends his apologies for not making this meeting.’

‘C.A.M.H.S.?’ Nikki sat up.

‘Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service.’ Mike spoke for the first time. He was a thin man with acne scars and tired, grey eyes. ‘We had Elijah assessed by the team shortly after he arrived at our house. He’s had a psychiatric evaluation before, of course, but, in view of what happened, we had him reassessed in case he needed admitting.’

‘Admitting?’

‘Doctor Peters reviewed him,’ said Chioma, her soft voice calming down Nikki’s heart. ‘And he felt that we are doing everything right.’ She reached across the table and touched Nikki’s hand. ‘You are doing everything right. But Elijah needs more intensive support, and Doctor Peters wants to see him in clinic to discuss treatment options, which may include medication, though Elijah is still very young.’

‘What do you think?’ Nikki pulled her hand out from underneath Chioma’s. People kept touching her hand as if it would help.

‘Well, as a team, we’ve discussed things and we think – I think – it’s so difficult to unpick. Elijah may have mental-health issues, but it may all be down to attachment. And the best treatment is play – funnelling care as you have been: make sure that you are the only ones that cuddle Elijah; if he’s hurt, then you make it better; play with him constantly. He
needs to feel safe and know he’ll be living with you forever, no matter what.’

Obi looked up then. ‘What about his delusions? I mean, he thinks he’s a wizard, for God’s sake. Surely that is a mental-health problem?’

‘Well, he’s very young and he’s been told that he is a wizard, we think, by people he trusts. But he’s also acting out traumatic experiences. He’s hurting very, very badly and he’s doing exactly what he did with the fire. He’s starting to feel safe, and attached, and wants to test to see if you’ll send him away.’ Chioma looked at Nikki and then back at Obi. ‘Everyone in his life has sent him away.’

Obi sat up straighter, pulled his shoulders back. ‘We’ll never send him away.’

‘Then you have to make him believe that.’ The other social worker stopped writing. ‘If this placement is to work, we’ll need regular reviews and involvement from C.A.M.H.S. as well as you, Chioma. We can offer you a structured programme of support, both practical and financial help, if required.’

Chioma looked at Obi. ‘And it’s important to understand that, even with the best will in the world, sometimes placements break down. And it’s nobody’s fault. Some children are simply too damaged to be able to cope in a family setting.’

Ricardo spoke quickly. ‘But we don’t want that to happen here. And we’re a long way off from that discussion, in my opinion. Of course, Elijah reacted badly to the pregnancy news – worse than we thought – but we can help you through this. I’d suggest that it’s high time we show Elijah his life-story work, and start going over his history with him: show him photographs, tell him all about his birth family. He’s been so resistant to it in the past, but I think we have to
really push him now. It might help or it might not, but we have to try this. I can provide some support.’ He rubbed his face. ‘I’m still working two jobs, covering my other manager who’s on sick leave –’ he smiled ‘– but, whenever I can, I will come here to do the life-story work with you.’ He nodded. ‘There really was nothing we kept from you. I’ll try and get you access to the birth mother’s health reports, at least, and I agree with Chioma: be open and honest with Elijah, about everything. He needs to understand Deborah loves him, but is mentally ill. That she put an idea in his head, but it was a bad idea, wrong, and all he has to do to make the wizard go away is to stop believing in it.’

Nikki looked at them all around the table and hugged her middle. Her breathing slowed down. She thought of the baby inside her, of how she’d ever tell the baby and explain what nearly happened. She felt a kick. The baby was strong. A strong baby: Nikki knew that, was certain of it. But Elijah was not strong at all. She wanted him with her, on her lap, in her arms. She wanted to whisper in his ear that she loved him and that it would be OK. She wanted to take away the pain he’d suffered, the abuse.

‘We just want him to come home.’ She thought of the dogs beyond saving, the ones who had been so abused that there was no chance they would survive. The ones who were taken from the rehoming kennels and put down.

Obi kissed her hand. His hand was steady and strong, his kiss firm on her skin. She held her head up. A look passed between them that she would remember always. It was Obi’s eyes looking to hers to see what to do. She realised, for the first time, that she would have to be the stronger one. That her strength made Obi stronger.

Granddad didn’t wait for Mum and Dad to come over with Ricardo to pick Elijah up and take him home. ‘There’s nothing wrong with your legs, is there?’ he asked.

Elijah shook his head.

‘Come on, then.’ He tucked Elijah’s coat around his shoulders and they walked out into the day. Granddad watched Elijah pinch his nose.

‘What’s all this nose pinching, Elijah?’ Granddad smiled and took Elijah’s nose between his thumb and forefinger. ‘The wizard’s gone. I checked – remember?’

Mum opened the door and rushed out, pulling Elijah towards her, lifting him off the ground. ‘Elijah!’ She kissed his cheek and pressed his back towards her. He felt the hardness of her swollen belly. ‘Ricardo’s here,’ she said to Granddad, reaching through the gap between Elijah’s arm and body. ‘You should have waited for us to collect him.’