Whisky Melody: Rock Star Romance, New Adult College Romance (Tennessee Romance Book 2) (11 page)

Breathe. In…out… Watch the monitors. Breathe. Hold Kaylee’s hand. Stare at the tubes…and don’t forget to pray! Now repeat…

The minutes felt like they dragged on, and the beeping and buzzing and shuffling of white-shoed feet across the linoleum and voices murmuring medical jargon and concerned relatives sniffling outside the other room doors in the hall began to grate on Ashley’s nerves. Not only that, but every time she caught a glimpse of Kaylee’s pale face it scared her to death. She wasn’t dead, but she looked like a ghost, almost as white as the hospital walls.

Breathe
, she reminded herself yet again.
Just…breathe.
Her chest lifted and fell, while Kaylee’s hitched upward sharply and fell. The whooshing and sucking of the respirator drew Ashley’s attention. Her eyes went from the tubes in Kaylee’s arm, then back to her face, then to the accordion-looking blue filter thing that was pumping oxygen into her bod.

She’s so…pale, so very pale. That can’t be good.

“Breathe,” Ashley muttered, not sure if she was talking more to her cousin or herself.

Tears fell and were wiped away. Sobs mounted and were stifled quickly. Still, as brave as she tried to be, inside she felt as cold and helpless as Kaylee looked.

A ring of Ashley’s phone broke her out of her exhausted, worried trance.

“Hi, Mom,” she answered, after taking a glance at the screen.

“Hello, sweetie. How is she?”

“I-I don’t know,” Ashley answered truthfully. “She doesn’t look good, Mom, not good at all. I’m afraid she’s… Maybe she’s too far gone,” she said. “The doctors haven’t told me anything, so I just don’t know.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry you have to be there by yourself for all this. Her folks are on their way. Just hold on.”

“I am,” she said, looking down at her tight grip on Kaylee’s hand, hoping beyond hope that she would live long enough for her parents to see her. Cold tears crept down her cheeks. “I’m scared, Mom.”

“I know. So…no word on what it was?”

“No. Somebody just dumped her off in our hallway, like trash.”

After a long sigh, her mom said, “I really don’t understand people.”

“Me neither. Mom, she can’t stay here if…er, I mean when she wakes up,” Ashley said, refusing to speak a fatal prognosis, fearing it might come true.
Don’t even think that, Ashley.

“I know, dear. I’m afraid that’ll be something for her folks to figure out. They should have taught your cousin to be stronger, but they were too busy giving in and cleaning up after her.” She cleared her throat. “Now’s not the time to be thinking of that. I’m sorry.”

“I know, Mom,” Ashley said sadly, “but it’s true.”

“Are you holding out okay?”

“I’m trying,” she said, but the truth was that she was far from okay. Nevertheless, she had to pretend she was. Someone had to be there, and Kaylee had no one else, especially with Charlie out of the picture. Ashley ached for Logan, with her whole being. She knew he would comfort her, that he could prop up her failing courage
. If only he wasn’t so mad at me. Hell, if only I wasn’t so mad at him.

The time drew out like a bead, and she suddenly realized she hadn’t spoken in a few moments. “Any idea when they’ll get here?”

“They should be touching down any minute.”

The news should have been soothing, but it did little to comfort Ashley. If anything, it scared her more.

Before she could say anything else to her mother, the door opened.

Ashley turned her head, expecting to see a nurse or Kaylee’s parents.

Instead, Logan stepped in, his face pale and his eyes wide.

“Uh… Mom, can I let you go? Logan’s here.”

“Sure, honey. Keep me posted.”

“I will.” She hung up and placed the phone down on the side table, releasing it from her trembling grip.

Logan stopped moving, as if he was walking on a minefield and feared taking another step. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She swallowed hard, taking Kaylee’s very cold, very limp hand again.
Breathe
, she coached herself, but there was no air in the room.

Logan slowly approached her. He put a hand on her head, a simple touch, then slid it across her hair, smoothing it.

As Ashley bit back another round of tears, it suddenly hit her that she was still in her pajamas. “How’d you know where to find me” she asked.

“The whole campus is buzzing about this,” he said, looking at Kaylee and then quickly looking away, misery all over his face. “Damn. I’m so sorry.”

“Why? You didn’t do it,” she said and cringed. She hadn’t meant to say that; it had just slipped out.

He shrugged and sighed, then walked over to the wall and grabbed a chair. He moved it over next to her, then parked himself in it. “Charlie didn’t do it either, Ashley, if that’s what you’re thinking. He’s an asshole, but even he wouldn’t stoop to…this.”

“I know, but it doesn’t change her condition.”

“No, you’re right.” He shook his head and ran a hand through his own hair, causing it to stick up on end. “Any idea what’s going on? Is she gonna be okay, or…”

Ashley’s shoulder lifted and dropped, and her mouth filled with bile. “Maybe, maybe not. They don’t really know. They have no idea what she took or how much. They’re running some tests and are just waiting for the lab work to come back.”

He reached for her free hand.

When his warm flesh met hers, she closed her eyes. Behind the redness of her lids, more tears welled, and she quickly snapped her eyes open. “I’m sorry I didn’t try to talk to you.”

“Yeah, look, about that…”

The door opened again, and Kaylee’s parents hurried in. Melinda was as wan and pale as her daughter, and Pete was florid and shaken. They made a beeline for the bed.

Melinda’s hand went to her mouth, and an inarticulate cry burst from her, muffled by her palm.

Pete swore, walked out, then came back in and asked, “Any clue as to who did this?”

“
She
did it.” Ashley replied, her voice hollow. “I know you don’t want to believe it, Uncle Pete, but she’s been…running wild. I tried to talk some sense into her, but no matter what I said she wouldn’t stop. I tried. Everyone tried. It’s like she just didn’t want to listen. Like she didn’t care.”

Melinda wiped her eyes with the back of one hand. She drew a long, shuddering breath. “I see. Why didn’t you call us?” she asked, accusation dripping from her voice. “Did that thought never occur to you, that she might need her mother and father to intervene?”

“She said she had it under control. We’ve been arguing lately. I thought… I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’ve been caught up in other things, like my own studies. I’m sorry, but I did try to help her.”

Really, it was the best she could manage without the whole hospital room degrading into a chair-throwing, four-letter-word-spewing episode of
The Jerry Springer Show
. Everything she wanted to say—to them, to Kaylee, to Logan—all just died on her tongue. She knew it was what it was and that nothing she said or did was going to change a damn thing. Just like every other time Kaylee did something stupid, her mommy and daddy were never going to blame their precious little girl.

Pete swore again.

Ashley stood. “I should let you stay with her.”

Melinda’s eyes, still holding anger and accusation, locked on hers.

Pete, though, took her arm and spoke gently. “Thank you for getting her help and staying with her. It’s late, and I’m sure you kids are tired. You go on home now. We’ll stay with her.”

“Yes, perhaps it’s best that you just…go,” Melinda said flatly, looking at Ashley the way the jury must have looked at Charles Manson.

Logan took her hand. “C’mon. I’ll drive you home.”

She couldn’t do anything but nod.

Pete gave her a hug and pointed her toward the door.

Logan walked out first, and Ashley followed, her legs shaking and her shoulders hunched inward. The hallways smelled sterile and sickly, and the fluorescent lights hurt her eyes. Cold seeped upward from the tile floors. Logan’s hand steadied her, but she still stumbled and staggered. Outside, the sun had finally made its daily appearance. She blinked and stared, trying to reconcile the bright, thick, syrupy rays with the gloom and dimness inside the hospital and lurking deep within her core.

Logan’s hand rested on the small of her back, and his hips touched hers softly. “You hungry?”

Hmm. Am I?
she wondered as she blinked up at the brilliantly shining orb. “It doesn’t seem right,” she said.

“What?”

“The sun, me eating…none of it.”

His hand moved upward, and his arm curled around her shoulders. “Come on. I’ll buy.”

She hesitated and glanced back. “I-I shouldn’t leave her.”

“You can’t do anything else right now, and her parents are here. Let them have some time with her.”

Her lower lip trembled. “Do you think she knows I was here?”

“I’m sure of it.”

She had no idea how he could be so sure of that—or of anything really. Her emotions and thoughts jumped up and down in jagged extremes, sort of like that green line on that machine hooked to Kaylee’s monitor. Her tongue touched the crest of her upper lip before she uttered, “Okay, but I don’t think I can ride on the bike right now.”

“I know. I borrowed Zip’s car.”

She let him lead her as her flip-flops slapped against her heels.
What now?
The refrain in her head was all white noise, punctuated by questions with no answers.

Logan put her in the car, then got in. He cranked the engine, and they set off through the awful Nashville traffic. In spite of the sun that practically baked them through the windshield, Ashley still shivered. His hand rested on her knee, but she wouldn’t have known if she didn’t catch a glimpse of it when she looked down at her nearly bare feet; she felt far too numb.

“I’m not dressed.”

“I know. I’ll just run in and grab something to go.”

“Okay,” her voice petered out. She stared through the windshield, blinking and stunned, not even sure what he’d said. This was all her fault. She should have done more to help Kaylee. She should have been with her, watching her. This was all on her.

Everyone seemed to be staring at them as they made their way through her dorm. A few approached, but Logan shook his head and waved them back. She was glad for that, because she didn’t know how to answer anyone’s questions and certainly wasn’t ready to talk about it.

She fumbled with her keys for a minute, and they entered the suite. For some reason she couldn’t explain, the whole place looked different. The cold horror of it all swept back in as she stood right where she’d found Kaylee.

Logan took her straight to her room and told her to get in bed. He sat down on the edge and began to dig food out of the bags.

Completely on autopilot, she took whatever he offered her; he could have given her a cheese milkshake, and she would have mindlessly drunk it. It was as if she was encased in ice, cold, stiff, and unable to feel. She was tingling all over, even though she felt numb at the same time. And she hated feeling like this, because this wasn’t about her.

The chicken salad with cranberries, almonds, and grapes was delicious, and it woke up her tongue slowly. The deep-fried kettle chips were salty and crunchy, and the lemonade was tart, sweet, and herby, with a little lavender in it to soothe her nerves. Slowly but surely the nourishment pulled her out of her stupor, and she realized she’d been teetering on the edge of shock.

Logan watched her chew a big bite. “You scared me.”

She swallowed a grape, practically whole. “I did?”

He nodded and stared at a glob of chicken and mayonnaise threatening to escape the sandwich in his hand. “I was sure you were never gonna talk to me again.”

“I haven’t really made up my mind on that, just so you know.”

He groaned. “I’m sorry.” He bit his lip, then bit a chunk out of his sandwich. “Do you suppose she did it on purpose because… You think she was just afraid she’d already gone too far, or, uh…”

“I considered that,” she admitted, as the thought had occurred to her. She took a long sip of lemonade.

He finished the rest of that half of his sandwich before he spoke again. “Ashley, I just—”

“Rock Star Royale is in a few days,” she reminded him, cutting him off.

He regarded her carefully. “I know.”

She took another bite, as she wasn’t sure what else to say or do. The white noise was coming back in, spinning static into every thought. The sleepless night was killing her, and her mind couldn’t seem to get a grip on anything. She was still reeling over the fact that Logan actually believed she’d ever sleep with Charlie, and now Kaylee might actually die. As horrible as all those thoughts were, her body still demanded the rest she’d missed, and a yawn cracked her somber face.

Logan put his trash in the wastebasket. “Gimme that,” he said, gesturing for hers.

She handed it over, then quickly took a last swig of lemonade. Her belly was full, and her mind was back to a blinding, frozen expanse.

“Now you need to sleep.” Logan tucked the blankets up around her, like she was a child. He looked like he wanted to lean down and kiss her but thought better of it.

Her eyes closed before she was even settled in all the way, and sleep quickly overtook her.