Whisper (9 page)

“Will it go away?”

“My head—no. The pain, sure. I just have to wait it out. It’s already better, but they said it’d take some time. So do your best not to piss me off, and everything should be great.” The irritation surfacing without warning would be a problem if he didn’t get it under control. “You’ve all had a headache, right?” Heads nodded. “Imagine a really bad one that won’t back off. I have pills that make me drunk and then I sleep. The headache goes away but I feel like shit.

I’m taking half the pills from just a week ago. It 69

Kathleen Lash

shouldn’t last long.”

He took another sip of coffee and rotated his shoulders. “What I’m trying to say, rather badly, is bear with me. I really don’t mean to get grouchy or be an ass. My mouth engages quickly though, and I immediately regret it. Can you do that for me?

Forgive me if I get out of line?” He shouldn’t be asking the kids to put up with a thing. Selfishly, he came home when he should’ve stayed in Texas until he got over the headaches, dizziness and disorientation. Now that he was home, he didn’t know how to make them feel less burdened.

The holidays would definitely suck this year.

Whisper walked in and put a plate of food in front of him. As for an appetite, he didn’t have one.

Not one of the kids said a word. Why hadn’t he thought things through?

He heard the rumple of paper before Whisper started talking. “So, here’s what we need to do according to the hospital discharge papers I stole from his bag.”

He glanced up and found all the kids giving their undivided attention. Apparently, she’d done more than his laundry. “Billy, get the small stool from the kitchen. Corey, get the stiff rolled pillow off the couch. Mark, go upstairs and get the bottle of pills off the nightstand next to Keith’s bed. Also, go into the medicine cabinet and get gauze, peroxide, antibacterial salve and the roll of paper tape, not adhesive tape. Nomad, get some paper and a pen. I’ll need you to make a run to the grocery store. Keith needs special foods to help the bones heal, which I’ll go over with everyone. Christy and Jade, he needs the recliner pulled forward with a table beside it. He also needs a few rolled blankets to prop his leg on. Is everyone clear so far?”

Finally, some talking! They confirmed they understood. “Then let’s get at it while he eats,” she 70

Whisper

said. “We’ll go over all of this once you collect everything.” They scattered. She could make herself heard when she wanted to. She turned to him and dropped her voice. “They’re scared.”

“They should be.” He spoke quietly too so they couldn’t hear. “I would be if the guy with the paycheck was messed up.”

“It has nothing to do with money. They love you and they’re scared because you’re hurt. Let them help. Let them work through this with you.”

“I don’t need—”

“
They
need. Unfortunately, this isn’t really about you.” She smiled as he stared. “If they watch you struggle and can’t help, they’re powerless.

They’re children. They’re burdens.”

“They’re
never
a burden.”

“Show them.”

Billy appeared with the stool. She stroked his head and he gave her a hug. With his arms around her waist, he eyed Keith warily. He even managed a smile and the tears were gone. Keith raised his arm and extended his hand. Billy looked more like a timid five-year old, hesitantly coming toward him.

“Is only your leg bad?”

Whisper answered for Keith. “No, he’s bruised and cut all over. Just touch him gently and it’ll be fine.”

She’d been warned with the rest of them about his temper, and he hoped she took it seriously because it flared. Billy didn’t need to be careful. The kid gently patted his shoulder and stood close. On second thought, Billy didn’t always realize his strength. He mumbled, rubbing his kid brother’s arm, “I hate this.”

“It’ll be okay,” Billy said. “Give it some time and you’ll feel better. For once, we’ll take care of you.” Billy gently rubbed Keith’s head before going to the kitchen. Kids started arriving with assigned 71

Kathleen Lash

items. He picked up a piece of bacon and took a bite.

It actually tasted good and he turned toward the plate. His missing appetite came back with a vengeance.

Whisper and the kids got busy on the grocery list, diverting attention from him. He enjoyed every bite of the bacon, eggs, biscuits and gravy. Billy brought him more coffee and didn’t spill a drop.

When he finished, Christy took his plate and wiped the table. Things had changed since he’d last been home.

Whisper appeared. “They need to be able to change the dressing on your back if I’m not here.”

“How bad is it?” he asked quietly. “It’s not like I’ve seen it.”

“Bad enough they should know how to fix you up.” “They’ll puke if they see me without a shirt.”

“Your arms aren’t much better than the rest of you. They’ve already been staring.”

“What next?” Corey asked, the kids gathering around.

“I need a few of you to learn how to change a dressing. If you think you’ll get sick, go to the living room. No one
has
to do this.” When no one left, he intervened. “Beat it, Billy.

You’ll get nightmares.”

“I’ll stay,” he replied, looking prepared for anything.

“If you puke on me…” The kids finally found something to laugh about and he relaxed.

“Shirt?” Whisper asked.

He sat forward and gingerly lifted. Whisper helped get it over his head. He closed his eyes when he heard some of the kids suck in breaths.

“That bad?” he asked. “It’s not like I can see it.” All the kids stood silently behind him. Whisper joined them.

72

Whisper

“Here we go,” she said. “I washed my hands really good. After you wash, don’t touch anything else. Don’t touch the stitches.” Quickly and gently, she changed the dressing.

As the kids asked questions, she explained the process. Before he put the shirt back on, most of them came around to have a look at his chest. The oddest expression came over Corey’s face. He must’ve sensed Keith watching, and gazed at him.

“We’re really lucky you’re sitting here, aren’t we?”

“Maybe not. The headaches get bad,” Keith replied.

“You’ll get better. We’ll help. Whatever it takes.” Heather touched Keith’s shoulder as she walked past. Christy kissed the top of his head. Each of them touched him gently and he sat forward to lean against the table before picking up the mug. He never imagined the kids would be like this. In truth, he could’ve probably muddled through the mess alone in Texas with the help of the outpatient clinic they offered.

Did he speed through a bunch of years, never questioning how they felt about him? He thought he knew how Corey viewed him. He’d been wrong. The sentiment and concerned touched him.

As Billy and Whisper propped his leg, Christy slipped a feather pillow behind him so he could lean back comfortably. The damn headache surfaced and he quit thinking about the attention directed at him.

He closed his eyes and tuned out everything.
By this
time tomorrow, they’ll forget all about this crap, and
agonize about normal stuff.

73

Kathleen Lash

Whisper stared at the computer screen in abject horror as the video played. “Where did it come from?”

Heather glanced up. “The video web site. A lot more are popping up.”

“But the footage is old. No one would recognize me.” “The guys constantly scan music videos on the computer. It’s a matter of time.” Whisper sat on Heather’s bed, bent at the waist, and placed her forehead in her hands. “I should’ve kept out of their business with the band.” Heather spun the chair to face her. “I asked you to help and you did. Have you heard them?” Whisper closed her eyes.
Yeah, they were getting
really good. But at what price?

“Besides,” Heather said, “if they find out, they wouldn’t say a word. They’d be impressed and keep their mouths shut.”

“Honey, you don’t know that. Remember how close those men came to catching us in Georgia? As much as I like those kids, we can’t take the chance.

If Doug finds me, you know you’ll have to go back.” Heather immediately burst into tears. She hadn’t meant to scare her or bring back bad memories, but sometimes Heather didn’t think about consequences. Heather wiped tears with her fingers and said, “Maybe if we went through the Ohio courts, it might be different.”

“I’ve explained this before. I’d have to go back to 74

Whisper

California to fight about your custody. Doug has money for the best attorneys. I don’t. You know where things were heading the last time we tried.”

“It’s not fair! You have to work nights for that computer company because they pay under the table. Why does everything have to be so hard?” She gathered Heather close. “I don’t know, honey. We only have another year and a half before you’re eighteen, and then we can get back on track and fight things the right way.”

“You know he doesn’t want me back.” Doug was the only family Heather had. Whisper couldn’t verbally acknowledge that Doug wanted nothing to do with his only sister. She tried a different tactic to explain his actions. Heather could understand. She’d gotten old enough for some truthful reasons about Doug’s bad behavior.

“Let’s talk about something, woman to woman.

You up for it?”

Heather turned. She nodded and wiped tears.

“Doug cares about you.”

“I think you’re wrong.”

“He did when we married. He wasn’t always like he is now.”

“I don’t remember him ever caring about me.”

“When you were small, he’d cuddle you and sing to you. One day, when you feel safe, you’ll remember a lot more than the last few years in California. Isn’t that what the doctor said?”

Heather nodded. “Was I a bad kid? I mean, I was a little younger than Billy when mom died.

What—like nine?”

“Yes, you were nine and you were an angel.

Never gave me any trouble at all.”

“Was I bad when I got older?”

“No. Doug had some evil habits that got worse with time. It wasn’t you. Remember that.”

“Drugs?”

75

Kathleen Lash

“Sure. They were everywhere. He got a taste and couldn’t get away from them. The more he used, the worse things got.”

“I think I remember something.” Whisper hoped it was a better, earlier memory than the last few years with her brother. It wasn’t all bad. “What is it?”

“Your dad. I sort of remember him. I think I remember when he died.”

Whisper hoped not. “You sure it’s not what you see on TV? There’s still a lot about him out there.

His name still comes up in the news.”

“The infamous Robert Black, the rock star, the legend, the man…” Whisper laughed at Heather’s announcer voice. She did a remarkable imitation of the commercial broadcaster telling about the collection of CD’s currently offered. “Doug gets all the money from that?”

“It’s all wrapped up very legal like.”

“He was
your
dad. You should get that money.”

“And Doug married me. He was older and smart and thought of things I didn’t. Actually, I don’t much care about the money.”

“So what did you want to tell me? Your dad had the band, you got to travel with him when your mom died, you married Doug and got stuck with me. Doug hurt us and we ran away. Pretty much sums it up, right?” Heather no longer wanted to talk, recapping everything so Whisper wouldn’t. She stood and began pacing.

“It’s about the night we left,” Whisper said.

“I’ve talked and talked about it. Nothing really happened. I don’t have nightmares any more. I do okay in school. I don’t cause trouble, at least not recently. I’m polite, well adjusted, behave, don’t think about it…”

“Shh, Heather.” Whisper stood and brought her close for a hug. “Sit down for a few minute longer.” 76

Whisper

She wasn’t just a good young woman, she was exceptional and trusting when she had a bunch of reasons not to be. “I’ll make it quick, and we’ll have it done and over with. All right?” The poor dear looked like the end of the world rested at her doorstep. She’d heard the facts before, during therapy, and maybe because of her infatuation with Corey, she might understand a little better and believe it this time. They sat and Whisper chewed on the side of a finger.

“I’m ready,” Heather said on a long sigh.

“Good. When Doug came home that night, the house was dark. Remember?”

Heather nodded.

“You know he wasn’t sober, don’t you?”

“The drugs.” It came out as an epiphany.

Whisper prayed the picture would finally change in Heather’s mind. “Yes. He didn’t know you were home. He thought he grabbed me.”

“But when he turned on the lights and saw me, he blamed me!”

“He thought it was me in the dark. What he said after had nothing to do with you. He blamed you so he wouldn’t have to take responsibility.”

“He said it was how I dressed.”

“Every girl in San Diego dresses in tee-shirts and shorts. Yours were more appropriate than most.”

“He said I dressed like a slut.”

“Heather, I know he scared you, but let’s think it through. He said some awful things and chased you.

When he caught you though, he figured out who you were, and nothing more happened except him yelling a bunch of things that weren’t true.”

“That’s when
everything
happened,” she sobbed.

“That’s when he blamed me. That’s when you came in and the whole world exploded. The house shook and the chandeliers fell from the ceilings.” 77

Kathleen Lash

“No, honey.” Whisper pulled her close. Heather always got stuck in the same spot of memory. “There was no earthquake. None of that happened. Think about it.”

Huge eyes and wet eyelashes turned to meet her gaze. “You jumped him,” Heather said. “He yelled and you two had a fight. A bad one. You said you’d leave the band. He said he’d send me away to a juvenile home. He said if you walked away, he’d make me pay.”

“That’s it. Keep going.”
Finally!

“It was all my fault we ran. I knew it, but it makes sense now.”