Whispered Visions (Shifters & Seers Book 3) (17 page)

Lizzie’s bedroom looked a lot like his, but with lots of flowers and lace. She looked perfectly natural laying in the middle of the tall bed, surrounded by all things dainty and feminine.

Layne doubted he looked quite as cute and delicate in his bed.

She kept the curtains pulled back, letting the light from the waxing moon spill through the windows. In the distance he could see the outline of dark trees against a backdrop of a million stars. His desire to be out among them was a physical ache. The coyote inside him strained towards the lure of the outdoors. It was nearly impossible for a coyote Shifter to Change outside of a full moon, but he knew if his feet could touch earth he would be on all fours tonight. His coyote needed to run free.

He found himself standing in front of the window without giving any thought to walking over to it. It felt as if his skin was soaking up the moon’s light the way it normally guzzled in her brother’s fiery rays.

Ninety-seven days. Ninety-seven days since he walked with the earth solid beneath his feet. Ninety-seven days since he’d seen the world beyond this rundown mansion. At times it felt as if the rest of the world was nothing more than a figment of his imagination. Entire days went by now without him thinking of ways to escape.

He had given up.

He hadn’t realized it until this moment, but the truth of it sucked the breath from his lungs.

He had given up, resigned himself to dying in captivity. And that death wasn’t in the distant future. His coyote was too wounded to keep going. How much longer did he have? One full moon? Maybe two?

How had that happened? If his life was the only one at stake, he could understand it. Quitting was always easier than fighting, but it wasn’t an option when you were fighting for someone other than yourself. His father taught him that.

They needed out of this hell hole. They needed to be in a place where Caroline could run and play whenever she wanted, where Lizzie wouldn’t be forced to use her Sight, and where Pari could begin to atone for whatever sins the SHP had forced her to commit.

“Layne?” Lizzie’s voice, made low and raspy by sleep, pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah. It’s me.”

He walked across the room slowly so he wouldn’t scare her.

“What are you doing?”

If it were a normal bed, he would have simply sat on the edge of it, but the beds in Brownlow Manor weren’t normal. They were all at least four feet high and required step ladders to get into. He debated with himself for at least half a minute before climbing up and easing himself onto the mattress.

“I thought you might need a friend,” he said once he was sitting far enough over he didn’t feel like he was going to plummet to his death, but not so far over he was in any danger of touching her. “I know Pari thought she was doing what is best, but I know you better than she does. You need to talk about things and get them out of your brain. You have to declutter.”

She didn’t say anything or move for a long time. Layne wasn’t completely sure she was breathing. When she finally started talking her voice was so soft he wouldn’t have heard her without his Shifter hearing.

“I killed a man,” she said.

He tried not to react. He focused on his breathing and the beating of his heart while willing his body to be still.

“Not with my own hands,” she clarified, “but it was my fault all the same.”

“You sound pretty sure of yourself,” he said, knowing if he denied her culpability outright it would make her stop talking. “What did you do?”

“I told Alistair he was going to sell him out, but he wasn’t. I knew what would happen to him even if I wasn’t thinking about it at the time. I knew I was setting him up to die, and I did it anyway.”

“So another SHP member is gone from this world. Good riddance.”

The words were casual, but the thumping of his heart wasn’t. This was war, and there were always casualties in war. His head knew that fact, but his soul was having a little trouble with the reality of it. Someone was dead, and like Lizzie said, even though they hadn’t delivered the killing blow, they both held some of the blame. It had been Lizzie who told the lie, but it was Layne who hadn’t done his duty as a Shifter and protected his Seer.

Lizzie rolled onto her back, tilting her face so she could see his.

“It was Rashid. The Shifter I told you about. The one who was stealing art for Alistair.”

“Even better. The Alphas will probably give you some sort of special recognition at the next Hustings.”

“Layne, don’t. Don’t try to make it sound like it was nothing, or even worse, that it was a good thing.”

He wasn’t above saying whatever he thought would ease some of her guilt, but this time he was actually telling the truth.

“What do you think would have happened if we had escaped and told the Alphas what he was doing?”

Lizzie’s eyes slid to the window.

“Exactly,” Layne said. “Even if you had put a gun against his head and pulled the trigger, you would have been doing your duty as a member of the Alpha Pack. All you’ve done is saved Scout and Liam the trouble of having a trial.”

Her teeth bit down into her bottom lip, and she still wouldn’t look at him.

“Why did you do it?” he asked, trying a different tactic. “What did Rashid do?”

“Nothing,” she said so quickly he knew it wasn’t the complete truth. She must have sensed his disbelief because she went on to clarify, “He tried to provoke me. He truly hated all of us just because of what we are. In that way, he was probably the most loyal member of the SHP Alistair has. He would have done anything to bring us down. But at the museum he was just… Rashid. A hurt little boy hiding in a grown man’s body lashing out at the world around him while trying to appear completely apathetic.”

Layne winced, the description hitting a little too close to home.

“I guess that description applies to most of us, huh?” Lizzie’s words mirrored his own thoughts, and not for the first time he wondered exactly how much her Sight had grown since their days as childhood friends.

Ignoring her question and his own unease, he asked, “So if it wasn’t something Rashid did, what made you tell the Duke of Dumbasses he was a turncoat? I seriously doubt you did it just to see what would happen.”

“I almost got caught trying to send a message to the Alphas.”

There was a good chance this conversation was going to be the death of him. How many times could one person’s heart stop beating and then start pounding uncontrollably before they keeled over?

“You sent a message to the Alphas?”

Hope ballooned big and bright in his chest. The slight shake of Lizzie’s head was like a sharp needle plunged into the middle, leaving nothing but a hollow space.

“I didn’t get a chance to finish it. I tried to send it anyway, but…” Her sigh was a cocktail of disappointment and hopelessness.

“You’ll get another chance,” he assured her. “We’re going to get out of here. I promise.” He wasn’t giving up. He couldn’t.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” Her eyes were bleak when they met his. “You’re right. This place is changing us. One day I’m going to look in the mirror and not know the person looking back at me. I can feel it happening already. It’s like I’ve become untethered.”

“Liz—”

“Will you hold me? Please. I need to feel grounded, even if it’s only for a little while.”

A sharp intake of breath echoed in the silent room, and Layne realized belatedly the sound came from him. His fingers were numb and clumsy as they searched his pockets for the pair of gloves he’d grabbed before coming to her room.

She rolled back onto her side, and he slid in behind her. They fit together differently than they had three years ago. It wasn’t just that he was finally getting a chance to be the big spoon. He was bigger. Not just taller, but the hours and hours of training had turned his twig-like arms into muscled weapons, capable of disabling an enemy or forming a cage of protection around his Seer. Layne wasn’t a big guy, his coyote kept his body lean and compact, but against Lizzie’s soft curves he felt like a titan.

“I’ve missed this,” she said, burrowing deeper into his embrace.

Layne had to swallow down a lump in his throat to reply. “Me too,” he finally said, wondering if she heard the primal edge to his voice.

Her hand whispered down the long-sleeved shirt he’d thrown on and stilled at the edge of the pink knitted gloves she’d made him as a joke. “I’m sorry,” she said, her finger dipping below the band and slowly tracing down his hand, the glove sliding away in its wake. Her touch was so light as to be nearly nonexistent, but Layne had never felt anything so strongly in his life. The sensation traveled from knuckle to finger and then exploded throughout his body. He couldn’t have said anything if his life depended on it.

“I’ve tried,” she continued, peeling the last of the glove off his hand. Once it was gone her bare hand covered his. “I’ve tried so hard, and I can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
”

She shouldn’t be doing this. She knew she was sealing their fates, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop. The curse was too strong. The feel of Layne’s flesh against hers was like heaven, but even that couldn’t hold a candle to the raw emotions she could See with complete clarity now that she was touching him. Love was the most intoxicating and addicting drug in the world.

“I’m sorry,” she said again, turning in his arms so she could press her face into the warmth of his neck. Her nose skimmed along the underside of his jaw causing him to make a choking noise that had nothing to do with distress. “I am so, so sorry.” She couldn’t tell him enough. The last thing in the world she wanted to do was hurt him, but even knowing it was inevitable, she pressed a kiss to his throat.

“Jesus, Lizzie,” Layne groaned before pushing her away. There was a brief moment of relief, believing he’d finally been strong where she was weak, but then he was rolling her onto her back and rising above her. His lips were hesitant as they brushed hers, not quite believing she would welcome their sweet caress.

That wasn’t right. Layne shouldn’t ever be uncertain where she was concerned. He should know the depth and breadth of her desire. The part of her that was always resentful for the space she’d put between them reached up, cupped the back of his head, and dragged his mouth to hers. Where his kiss had been all things sweet and tender, hers were fueled with passion and desperation. She expected him to follow her down into the abyss, but he pulled away. The cool air on her burning lips was the shock she needed to clear her mind. Shame was like a heavy wool blanket, suffocating her on this warm autumn night.

“I’m sorry,” she said for maybe the hundredth time. “Layne, I—”

“You’re crying,” he said, the words a growl.

She brushed a hand against her temple, and sure enough it was wet.

“I’m sor—”

“I swear to God, if you say you’re sorry one more time, I’m going to lose it.”

He was still poised above her. His hair was curling around the edges where sweat accumulated. Whether it was from their tiny burst of sexy-times or from the fact he was wearing a sweatshirt in an already warm room was anyone’s guess. His eyes were hard, and his mouth was pulled into a thin tight line. He looked angry, but he wasn’t. He was confused, wary, and frustrated, but not angry.

“It’s the curse,” she said, making a split-second decision to tell him the truth. He deserved it. “I can’t fight it anymore.”

His eyebrows did their mountain peak thing he was so proud of. “Curse?”

“My family. We’re cursed.”

“Like by a witch?”

She shrugged, or did what might have been a shrug if she wasn’t lying on the bed, half pinned by the one person she shouldn’t have ever let touch her again. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“What kind of curse?”

This was the hard part.

“It’s a love curse. We fall in love, and whoever it is always falls with us. Hard. An all-consuming, to-hell-with-the-rest-of-the-world love. And then, one day, we just leave.” Her dad hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye. She and her mom came back home from a day of shopping to find his truck and most of his belongings gone. “One day I’m going to leave you, Layne, and it’s going to kill you on the inside. I’m sorry.” She was crying again. She could feel the tears as they dripped into her hairline. “I tried to stop it, to save you, but it is too hard. Maybe if we hadn’t ended up here, but this has been…” There weren’t any words to describe what the last few months had been like. She didn’t need to tell him anyway. He’d been here the whole time. He knew what it was like. “Every single moment is a battle, and this is the one thing I can’t fight anymore.”

“So you’re cursed. With a love curse.”

Lizzie nodded, not quite able to meet his eyes. He didn’t respond immediately, and she could See he was thinking. He did that. When the answer mattered, Layne took his time to think of a response. Since she couldn’t See individual thoughts, she had no idea what he was working through, but she knew he approached it like a puzzle, looking for the perfect response to fit into place.

“How many came back?” he finally asked.

“How many came back where?”

“Your ancestors. I’m assuming you have a long list of forefathers who left the loves of their lives, the most recent entry being your dad. How many of them came back after they left?”

“That’s not how it works. We leave and—”

“And never come back,” he finished for her.

“Yes.” It killed her to say it. Once what she was saying finally sank in, it would be Layne who was leaving her. She didn’t know if she would survive it.

“No one came back, but you.”

Her confusion must have been written all over her face because he continued. “You made me fall in love with you, and then you left. And you’re right. It was devastating. There were times when I thought I would rather hate you since loving you hurt so damn much. But you came back. You have come back, haven’t you? That’s what this is about? You and me finally being together?”

Even if his soul wasn’t permanently linked to hers, she would have heard the doubt and fear of rejection in his voice.

“Of course I want to be with you.” She let the truth of her words show in her eyes, and in case he couldn’t read eye-language, she trailed a hand down his cheek for good measure. “I’ve never wanted anything else. I think I might have fallen in love with you the first time I tasted your soul. You’re brave and loyal. When you love, it’s with your whole heart. At your core, you’re the most fierce and powerful Shifter in the world. The fact that you make me laugh and are my favorite person in the world to waste time with was just an added bonus.”

A smile, one of the first true non-Caroline-induced smiles she’d seen from him in years, stretched across his face.

“Fierce and powerful? I thought you said I was the most stubborn and vain Shifter you’d ever Seen?”

“Well, you’re that too…”

She felt his laughter as much as she heard it, and it caused shockwaves of awareness to ripple through her body.

“I love you,” she said, the words she’d been afraid of for so long tasting more right than any phrase she’d ever uttered before.

“You are my world,” Layne said in return. “Now that I’ve got you back, I’m never letting you go. I might not be able to See into another person’s mind and heart, but I don’t have to be a Seer to know you’re never leaving me again. Your curse is broken. This? Us? It’s going to be forever this time.”

God, she wanted him to be right. She wanted it so bad she was trembling. It felt like her soul might actually crawl out of her body and fasten itself onto his.

“You’re mine,” Layne said, and because she could See him, she knew these words were from the heart of the coyote who was at the crux of who he was. “Lizzie Anders, I claim you as my mate, now and forever.”

The list of reasons she should reject his claim was both long and compelling. Mating was a for-life commitment and they were still only teenagers despite everything they had been through. Yet the words that fell out of her mouth weren’t a denial.

“Layne Hagan, I claim you as my mate, now and forever.”

Incandescent joy surged through the newly formed bond they created with their declarations. Lizzie was still afraid, and there was a chance a part of her would always worry that it would all fall apart in the end, but her fear was overshadowed by so much love and hope she didn’t know how it could all fit inside her body.

This time, when his lips met hers there was no hesitation. Her hands slid beneath the hem of his shirt, exploring and discovering not only the heated silk of his skin, but the man inside. Layne’s mind wasn’t noise, but a soothing melody made up of hundreds of harmonies.