There was a brief pause. “What did you learn?”
“Nothing,” I said with a sad sigh. “I know nothing more now than I knew this morning.”
C
HAPTER
F
OURTEEN
S
TUPID
A
RGUMENT
Neuse Academy had a rule that said there could be no major assignments on the last two school days before spring break. That made Wednesday the worst day imaginable. All of our teachers used it as their final chance to wring something out of the students before our week off. There were tests or projects due in every class.
It wore me out. I needed Susanna and, fortunately, she wasn’t working tonight.
I had just coasted down the street and into our driveway when I heard the whine of the mail truck. He slapped some items into our mailbox and roared to the next house.
Walking back down the driveway, I looked in. There was a letter in there. A thick letter in a Duke University envelope. The kind of letter that held something besides the one thin sheet of paper that would reject my application.
I yanked it out. It was addressed to me. Mark E. Lewis.
Duke? Really?
No frickin’ way.
I destroyed the envelope to get to its contents. The packet exploded into my hands and fell to the ground. I kicked aside the housing information and searched for the cover letter among the papers on the lawn.
Dear Mr. Lewis
,
We are pleased to inform you…
This was great news. Whoa.
Aunt Pamela had gone there, and she’d loved it. Duke went to the NCAA basketball tournament every year, and sometimes won. It was a well-respected school. Great reputation with plenty of majors to choose from. I was bound to find something there that I would like to get a degree in. So the campus was a little flatter than I liked, but it was twenty minutes away from Susanna.
Had this decision made itself?
I should discuss with my folks and just accept. Right?
No, I could wait a little longer. None of the schools required my final decision until the first of May. Before I said anything to any of those, I should at least know what all of them thought.
That was the most logical way to work this. I would wait to hear from Newman and Virginia Tech. Even if Duke sounded like the best option overall.
I flopped onto the family room couch and pored over the documents for a few minutes. I pulled out my phone and checked the Duke website. This was really good news. I didn’t want to keep it to myself.
We should celebrate. Me, Susanna, and my friends. Something simple and fast.
A quick phone call to my mom and everything was set.
I texted an invitation to Jesse, Benita, and Gabrielle.
accepted at duke. cookout. lewis house @ 6
I took off for my truck and drove straight to Marissa’s apartment. My phone pinged three times along the way. I checked before running inside. All three of my friends said yes.
I rapped on the door and tried the handle. It opened easily, which pissed me off.
“Susanna?”
“What?” she called from the rear of the apartment.
“You need to lock the front door.”
“I wasn’t expecting you.”
“You only lock it when you think I’ll be here to notice?”
“Yes.” She appeared at the end of the hallway.
“Stop it, okay?” I cupped her face in my hands. “It’s not safe. Lock the door. Please?”
She nodded.
When I bent to kiss her, her hands gripped my hips.
“Hey,” I said as I drew away. It was only then that I noticed what she had on. Overalls and a red shirt. “Are you wearing your work clothes for a reason?”
She nodded, her face stony.
Something fierce and furious flashed through me. Could she ever
not
work? “I thought you were off.”
“Someone called in sick.” She let go of me and walked over to the couch to fumble in her purse. “I told them I could come right over to help with the rush.”
It was all I could do to keep from grinding my teeth. “Why do you work so hard?”
“I need all of the shifts I can get, Mark. I must earn money to pay my way.”
“It’s not necessary. We can take care of you.”
She spun around, her face stormy. “Does my job shame you so much that you would rather I become an idle burden?”
“You don’t shame me.” But I did hate her job. It left her too tired and too busy. She wasn’t able to focus on important things. Like passing her GED test. And us, dammit. “I wanted to be with you tonight.”
“We did not have plans.”
“I just made some. A cookout at my house. To celebrate.”
She tilted her head, considering my words, and then smiled hesitantly. “Do you have good news?”
“I got accepted at Duke.” I was stuck somewhere between grumpy and smug.
Her smile faded. “You do not wish to attend Duke.”
“Sure, I do. It’s a great school.”
“Have you heard from Newman?”
My face tightened and then relaxed again, as if through the sheer force of my will. “Not yet.”
“I shall celebrate after you’ve been accepted to Newman.”
“What is wrong with Duke?”
“Newman is where you want to go.” She looked away.
“You must not pick a school because of me.”
When would she drop this stupid argument? I was sick of it. “I won’t apologize for wanting to be near you.”
She walked past me and yanked open the closet door.
“I can get a great education at Duke, Susanna. A degree that is admired around the world.”
She jammed her arms into the sleeves of a jacket, lips clamped together tightly.
“Can you just be happy that I’m happy? I want you to be there with me tonight.”
She stiffened. “Not after I have given my word to work.”
It was pretty sick to be mad at my girlfriend for being honorable—but at that moment, when it was screwing with my plans, I was pissed. “Fine. When do you get off?”
“I am not sure. Sometime after eight.”
Of course. The party would be breaking up by then. “Come on, I’ll drop you off.”
“I can ride my bike.”
“Let me take you.”
The trip to Lucy’s was silent. As she pushed open the door to my truck, I said, “I’ll pick you up, too.”
“Then wait for my call.”
I leaned closer to kiss her. She hesitated briefly, darted a glance to the parking lot, and then touched her lips lightly to mine. Seconds later, she was sliding from the cab.
Even after I watched her walk inside, I sat in the truck, trying to rein in a boatload of frustrations. Why couldn’t she quit Lucy’s and be satisfied with her handwriting jobs? It would be enough if she weren’t too stubbornly independent to live with my parents.
She was pushing herself to exhaustion, and it didn’t have to be that way.
I knew that I had to be patient, but I got tired of it, too. Sometimes, it didn’t seem like she was making a whole lot of progress in my direction. I wanted her to be comfortable with low-key PDA, and I needed to make out in private without thinking through every single thing we did.
But most of all, I wanted her to relax and have fun again, because it’d been too long. Especially with me.
C
HAPTER
F
IFTEEN
S
HOCKING
S
PEED
Lucy urged me to clock out at the first possible opportunity, so I picked up my jacket and headed outside at half past seven. The cookout was, no doubt, still going on. I did not wish to attend, nor did I wish to drag Mark away.
How I longed to walk home and skip the end of the evening at Mark’s, but I couldn’t hurt him so.
As I drew out my phone, Isaac’s SUV pulled in and hummed to a stop. “Susanna,” Isaac said as he got out. “Leaving already?”
I nodded. “As soon as I call Mark.”
His forehead creased with concern. “Is everything okay?”
I gave a little shake of my head. “It’s just that…he has friends over for supper. I don’t like to pull him away.”
“Do you want me to take you?”
It was a good solution. “I should like that.”
He programmed the address into his GPS device and pulled out of the lot.
It would not take long to get there, and I didn’t want to waste this opportunity to speak with him. “Isaac, I must thank you for rescuing me at the soup kitchen.”
“No problem.” He spoke lightly.
“I should like to try again sometime.”
He smiled. “Only if you do exactly what you’re told.”
“I agree to those terms.” I turned to watch him as I indulged my curiosity a bit. “Is the food shuttle your only job?”
“I don’t really have a job at the moment.”
“Why not?”
“My parents keep asking me the same thing. They’d like me to join the family business, but I’m resisting.”
“What is the family business?”
“Saving souls.” His lips twisted. “I plan to start on my master’s degree in the fall. Until then, I’ll be doing whatever odd jobs I can find.”
Saving souls
was a peculiar response, but his expression did not encourage further discussion. “I am sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m managing.” He met my gaze briefly, frowning. “When did you leave your village?”
Isaac’s question didn’t surprise me, other than how long it had taken him to broach it. “Seven months ago. Mark saved me.”
“How did he do that?”
“He slipped onto the property, cut off my shackles—”
“Shackles?” Isaac grunted.
“Yes. He cut them off, pulled me to safety, and fought off my master.” I could hardly speak for the huskiness in my voice. “I shall love Mark forever.”
“Susanna, hear me out before you say anything.” Isaac exhaled softly. “I’ve noticed the two of you together, and sometimes it seems as if…he’s more like your handler than your guy.”
“He’s trying to help me grow at ease with this world.” I sighed. “He only wants the best for me.”
“Are you sure that isn’t gratitude talking?”
“I am most grateful.” As we turned onto the right street, I gestured at the Lewises’ house.
“Would you be his girlfriend if he hadn’t rescued you?”
“I loved Mark long before he rescued me.” I looked out the window, unsettled, for Isaac had asked the reverse question of the one I’d asked myself a thousand times. Did Mark truly love me, or was I his responsibility?
Isaac slid to a stop at the curb. He had the passenger door open before I had the chance to unbuckle and gather my things. “If you ever want to talk about this, I’m around.”
The gently spoken comment shimmered in the air between us. I would like to trust him, but why should I? Why did it feel easier to talk to someone I barely knew than it did to discuss these things with Marissa? Had I finally made my peace with the memories? “Thank you.”
A burst of laughter drifted from the backyard. I nodded at Isaac. “Would you like to meet Mark’s friends?”
“They’re Mark’s? Not yours?”
I shrugged, unwilling to form a response. “Please come with me.”
We walked up the driveway and followed the flagstone path to the back yard. When we came in view of the deck, I froze at the sight that greeted my eyes.
Jesse and Benita sat together on a loveseat, their arms entwined. Mark reclined against the railing of the deck, holding a bottle of Propel. Gabrielle stood beside him, telling a story that had them all laughing. As I watched, she leaned into him, her fingers gripping his shoulder and her cheek pressed to his chest. His hand rose briefly to cup her elbow, steadying her.
Anguish gripped me, although not from jealousy, for I didn’t doubt his love even for a second. No, the distress came from witnessing Gabrielle share something with Mark that had eluded me—an effortless affection. And clearly he liked it. I hadn’t seen him look so relaxed, so carefree in many months.
“Is something wrong?” Isaac asked.
They all turned at the rumble of his softly uttered question.
“No,” I said, shaking my head, although I wasn’t entirely sure what I was denying.
Isaac followed me from the shadows and climbed the shallow wooden steps to the deck.
Mark straightened, set his drink on a table, and crossed to my side. “Hey,” he said, his tone warm, and brushed a kiss to my temple before extending his hand to Isaac. “Thanks for bringing her home.”
“My pleasure.”
The others joined us.
“Isaac Saunders,” I said, nodding at each of Mark’s friends in turn. “Gabrielle, Jesse, and Benita.”
Isaac’s body hummed with awareness as he nodded at Gabrielle, although he didn’t speak to her. Instead, he shook Jesse’s hand before turning to Benita. His lips widened into a pleased smile. “Are you Benita Adams? The cellist?”
It was the right thing to say to her. “Yes, I am.”
“I heard you play with the Durham Symphony last year.”
“The Elgar.” She drew closer to him, beaming with delight.
“Beautifully done.”
Benita launched into a discussion of the performance, talking with Isaac in her unique style of excited bursts, sliding into a vocabulary that I barely knew, although Isaac was clearly comfortable with her strange words. She transformed into a person I hardly knew when she talked of her music. The young girl faded and the expert musician emerged. It was startling and lovely.
Jesse watched with absorbed adoration.
Gabrielle observed the two of them, a puzzled crease to her brow.
Mark rested a gentle hand at my waist and leaned in. “I’ve missed you, babe.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“Do I have to share you tomorrow night?”
I looked up into his face. Flames from the fire pit made a silhouette of his head, placing his face in shadow. I could see nothing of his expression. Only the glitter of his eyes. “You never have to share me.”
He bent for a kiss and then checked his movement, as if remembering that his natural inclinations would likely be rejected.
Overwhelmed by a desire to push past my discomfort, I struggled to think of how I might give him what he wanted. Could I start with something small? Might I rise onto my toes and meet him halfway?
He turned to speak with the others. The moment passed.
“So, what’s the occasion?” Isaac was asking.