White Girl Problems (8 page)

Millie’s eyes darted to the right and a coy smile crossed her lips. “I doubt that very much, my dear.” I followed her gaze to Aiden entering the dining room. He nodded his head to the right and walked out the patio door.

Jack chuckled softly. “Well, I believe you have just been summoned. Mustn’t keep him waiting. He despises being kept waiting. It runs in the family.”

I shrugged, acting as if it didn’t matter that he wanted to see me on the deck. But it did. Since the day at Peggy’s Cove, we had become fast friends, him constantly making attempts at kissing me and me playing hard to get like a boss.

There was something about him, something frightening. He was real. He wanted to talk about real things, like my scar or my father and Sheila or my friends. He even talked like he was so much older than I was. His proper English was intimidating. He never just small-talked about celebs or gossip. He was intense, always. I had thought it might have been an English thing, but none of the Brits in the retirement home were like that. He was different. Scary different.

I smiled. “Well, enjoy your tea.” I got up and walked to the deck, slipping through nonchalantly.

Aiden was sitting on the railing. His hair was cut and styled, no more shag. He was dressed oddly as well, like a guy from a Hugo Boss ad. Tight black dress pants and a dress shirt with a sweater vest over top. He was extra preppy, but it suited his lean European body type. It was weird seeing him that way. Normally, he was casual in jeans and tee shirts.

He looked funny too, distant. He gave me a look through those inky lashes and smiled, but his eyes stayed dark under his brow. “I have to leave again, but I was wondering if I could write you?”

I smiled. “Yeah, my email is super easy to remember. It’s—”

He held up a hand. “No, I mean real letters. Can I write you real letters by hand?” He laughed at the face I was making. “And you write back.”

“By hand?” I wasn’t sure I could do that. I didn’t even know how to mail a letter.

“Of course, by hand.”

I glanced down at my feet. “Why do you have to go?”

He stepped closer to me. “Family things. I don’t want to go.” He held out his hand and I took it. He pulled me down the running trail along the lakeside. We walked down the path, not talking. It was weird. Normally when we went walking, we talked, but I didn’t have anything to say. Nothing that could top his leaving anyway.

He stopped at a large rock and looked down on me. He really was quite tall. I had to crane my neck when we were next to one another.

He ran his hands down my cheeks, brushing the hair out of the way and cupping my jaw. It had been five weeks since we’d met, and I had imagined every second of what was about to happen. He dragged his thumb across my lower lip. “You are so beautiful.”

My lips parted, but he didn’t do it. He stayed, hovering over me and staring at my lips. “There are so many things I want to do right now.”

I swallowed hard. “When will you be back?” I wanted to do those things too, but not in the woods. A girl who held out as long as I had needed to lose her V-card somewhere special.

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I want to stay, but I can’t.” His blue eyes had me trapped in a staring contest. I couldn’t look away. He leaned forward, brushing his soft lips on my cheek. I almost turned my head, forcing the kiss, but I didn’t. I just pressed my cheek into his face. We hovered there like we were telling each other secrets.

When he released me, he turned and walked up the trail. He looked back. “Do you admit defeat, then?”

“In what?”

“Your feelings for me? Do you admit you like me as much as I like you?”

I grinned. “Never.”

“Liar.” He smiled back and then walked away, not saying another word to me. Not even saying good-bye.

I stood, waiting for him to come back and kiss me for real.

But he didn’t come, and when I walked back to the deck, he wasn’t there. The ladies at the table waved, all except Marbles, but I could see the smile in her eyes.

When I got inside, I saw a look on Jack’s face.

Aiden was gone completely. He had actually just left me in the friggin’ woods.

“Shit!” I stormed the office and sat in the chair. My fingers hovered over the keys, but I didn’t do it. I didn't log on and see what depressing shit was being said about me. I didn't go on and see what bad shit my friends were up to.

I sat and stared at my own reflection on the laptop screen.

What exactly had happened?

I met a boy. He annoyed me and at the same time, made me feel alive. He made me do things I wasn’t completely comfortable with, but it wasn't dirty. He didn’t really swear, he dressed like an adult, and his manners were amazing. Aside from hauling me to Peggy’s Cove.

What was I supposed to do without him?

I got lost staring at myself.

My summer changed from that moment on.

I didn’t mean to be the girl who based her summer on a guy, but he felt bigger than a summer fling. He had felt like a life changer. He had felt like Jack and Millie, like he would surprise me every day until I was a hundred.

I mentally slapped my cheek and reminded myself that it had only been a few weeks of actual hanging out. That wasn't long enough to establish real feelings.

But my heart prevailed, and I spent all my time wishing he were back.

I certainly didn’t spend it worrying about what my clothes looked like or how fat my lips were. I didn’t bother with my hair. It was ponytails and yoga pants most of the time, if it wasn’t shorts, tees, and bathing suits. I didn’t care that I was always covered in Peaches’s fur and she hogged the bed at night. I didn’t mind that Hattie and I had come to an understanding. I told her no secrets and she gossiped about me freely anyway. At least her version of me was a crazed badass.

Instead of having an amazing summer before senior year, I had an experience like no other. I never got drunk once, I never kissed boys I shouldn’t, I never woke up once wondering what had happened the night before, but best of all, I never looked around at the people surrounding me and wondered if any of them had it out for me.

It was a strange comfort to be surrounded by old people who wanted to live in peace, leaving every other thing in the world alone. No one bothered me. I didn't feel pressured to do things I didn't actually want to do.

The only bad part was the ache in my chest. I caught myself staring at the Atlantic Ocean like it was a challenge for me to overcome. Like it was the thing keeping us apart.

The only thing that saved me was the first letter. A real handwritten letter. I opened it like he might have been in there, but it was just a single piece of paper.

Finley,

I hope this finds you exactly as I left you. Maybe not exactly. I don’t think I want you to be standing in the forest still, leaning against a large stone. I should have kissed you. I can say that now because it is a letter. It is true though. I should have. I hate that I have regrets. Do you see what you are doing to me? At any rate, I hope you haven’t changed in the three days it has been since I have left.

The reason I am writing, beyond to tell you of my regrets, is there is a must-see in a place called Lunenburg. You have to go there. I have arranged a car. It will be at Hattie’s on Friday. You will stop at a place called Mahone Bay. It is my favorite place in Nova Scotia. Be there at noon, sharp. I can’t wait for you to see something I love.

Enjoy! I miss you.

Yours,

A

His penmanship was amazing. I looked at the letter, over and over, until the paper was wrinkled up. It smelled like him for a day and then it smelled like me, and Peaches.

I couldn't believe he was planning a day trip for me.

On Friday, when the car came, I had to laugh. It was a fancy black car, a Bentley if I wasn’t mistaken. The driver opened the door for me like a gentleman.

“Thanks, I’m Finley.”

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

He didn't introduce himself or say anything else. So I got in and sat back. The drive to Mahone Bay seemed familiar. I leaned forward. “Is this the way to Peggy’s Cove?”

He nodded. “It is. We passed the turn some time ago. We have to arrive in Mahone Bay at exactly noon. Otherwise, I would say we should stop. Peggy’s Cove is amazing in the sun.”

I smiled. “I think I like my memory of it in the rain.”

He looked confused but drove on.

We turned off at a random spot, on a road that didn’t look like much until we rounded a corner and came into a large bay with a town nestled in it. My mouth dropped. The water was calm so you could almost see the reflection of the colorful old houses and the huge churches. Why so many for such a tiny fishing village? It was beautiful in a way that made me think of France along the southern coastline.

The churches lined the water, one after another. It was bizarre.

The driver stopped and opened my door. “Why so many churches?” I asked as I got out, hugging my light jacket to myself.

“Shhh.” He looked at his watch and smiled as all of the huge bells on all of the churches began to ring out simultaneously.

It was like being in a Dickens story or watching a village inside of a snow globe. I had never seen such a beautiful sight. There were three main churches that looked more like cathedrals. They each had a bell tower, and from across the bay, we got a perfect symphony of music. Then there were smaller ones lining the hillside on streets above the front street. It sounded as if they had bells too.

I wasn’t sure if it made me sad Aiden wasn’t there or if it made me excited a boy liked me that much that he had planned a trip like that for me. He liked me so much he wanted me to see something spectacular that he loved. And it wasn't like Big Ben or the Eiffel Tower. It was a small thing that hardly anyone would have seen, like a secret. It was like an old-fashioned love story, like Jack and Millie’s.

I felt like my heart was growing or my mind was expanding. We got back in the car and drove into Mahone Bay. It was quaint and colorful, like nothing had changed in two hundred years. The houses were so bright you would swear they were tacky or belonged in a Disney movie. But they suited their colors. I smiled, leaning forward like I was a little kid pressing my nose against the window. “The houses are stunning, like a movie set, but better.”

The driver pointed. “The thing I love about them is the flaws—all have a story. These houses are as old as the pirate stories about hiding treasure and outrunning the British Navy.”

When we reached the other side of the small town, it was just a short drive to Lunenburg, my actual destination. It too was nestled on a large bay, but it was a bigger town. He drove me to a parking lot on the water and nodded. “Go tell that man your name.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “What?” That sounded like a bad plan.

He smiled. “He said you might get like that and said to tell you to trust him. He wouldn’t ever send you to a place that was dangerous. Oh, and he said to give you this.” He handed me a letter.

I smiled and climbed out of the car on my own. The driver never got to my door. I walked over to the odd-looking old man with the top hat, who I was scared would start performing magic for me. Aiden couldn’t know about my unnatural fear of magic and clowns and all circus people.

I stammered, unnerved by the top hat. “Uhm, h-hi.” It took me a second to gain my composure and to stop being such a baby. “I’m Finley Roze.”

He smiled. “I’m Simon MacKay. Welcome.” He held an arm out for me. I gripped the letter and took the strange man’s arm. He led me around a corner to a street lined with horse-drawn carriages and walked me to one. He opened the door to the carriage for me, taking off his top hat when I climbed aboard. He climbed into the driver’s seat and called out to the horses, who took off in a slow trot.

I looked around at the sloped town. It was entirely built on a hill, like it was pouring down the hill into the sea. I opened my letter.

Finley,

The man you are about to have a tour with is the best guide there is. You are safe in his hands. He has stories about everything. I wish I were there to see your face when you see all the beautiful houses and views.

Watch for ghosts in the windows! Oh, and you VANT pastry! It’s the best.

Yours,

A

I scowled at the short note, ghosts, and vant? What was a vant? Was he trying to have an accent on his accent?

We rode past the most colorful houses I had ever seen, even more so than Mahone Bay. It had a vibrancy you didn't see in the modern world.

“The whole town is a protected heritage site. It will always be beautiful like this.” He pointed as he turned up a road. I could see what Aiden had meant. The view was incredible.

The driver pointed at the old houses and shops as he drove on. “This was a small town when it started out in the 1600s and 1700s. Only a few families lived here. But it boomed with the shipbuilding and fishing. By the 1800s this was a thriving town.” We rode up to a black-and-white house that seemed more like a hotel or something. “This was the old academy. It’s said to be haunted by the spirits of boys, some of them who died off the coast in fishing boats and ships. They returned here to the academy ‘cause it was where they had grown up. You can hear the noises at night and sometimes see people watching you from the windows.”

I shuddered. “Creepy.” I chickened out and avoided looking in the windows.

He drove on. “This is the gallows hill. It is said that a large number of livestock and even people were attacked by a German werewolf in the 1700s. The man who was accused of being the wolf was put in a cell. He was found dead the next morning, covered in animal bites.”

I started to wonder why the hell Aiden would have made me come there? I didn’t like scary things. But I had to remember he wouldn’t know stuff like that.

“The thing we’re most famous for is the ships. To this day, some of the finest ships in the world are built here. Back in the day, privateers, pirates, and rum runners alike all got their boats from here.” He nattered on, but I just looked out at the views and marveled. I didn’t care about rum running during the prohibition. I didn’t care about ghosts. It was just a beautiful place, full of color and rich history. You could see it without hearing it. “I wish school was this awesome. My teacher has probably told me this story, and I never even heard it because she didn't bring it to life.”