White Gold Wielder (44 page)

“I already told you!” he replied, splashing water at her. “Wild magic and venom. The keystone of the Arch.” Swimming in this lake, he could say even those words without diminishing her gladness. “The first time I was here, I couldn’t see myself either. You’re
normal
!” His voice rose exuberantly. “Glimmermere
recognizes
me!”

Then she did fling her arms about his neck; and they sank together into the embrace of the tarn. Intuitively for the first time she understood his hope. She did not know what it meant, had no way to estimate its implications. But she felt it shining in him like the fiery water; and she saw that his certainty was not the confidence of despair. Or not entirely.

Venom and wild magic: despair and hope. The Banefire had fused them together in him and made them clean.

No, it was not true to say that she understood it. But she recognized it, as Glimmermere did. And she hugged and kissed him fervently—splashed water at him and giggled like a girl—shared the eldritch lake with him until at last the cold required her to climb out onto a sheet of rock along one edge and accept the warmth of the desert sun.

That heat sobered her rapidly. As Glimmermere evaporated from her sensitive skin, she felt the Sunbane again. Its touch sank into her like Gibbon’s, drawing trails of desecration along her bones. After all, the quenching of the Banefire had not significantly weakened or even hampered Lord Foul’s corruption. The Land’s plight remained, unaltered by Covenant’s certitude or her own grateful cleansing. Viscerally unwilling to lie naked under the desert sun, she retrieved her clothes and Covenant’s, dressed herself while he watched as if he were still hungry for her. But slowly his own high spirits faded. When he had resumed his clothing, she saw that he was ready for the questions he must have known she would ask.

“Covenant,” she said softly, striving for a tone that would make him sure of her, “I don’t understand. After what I tried to do to you, I don’t exactly have the right to make demands.” But he dismissed her attempted possession with a shrug and a grimace; so she let it go. “And anyway I trust you. But I just don’t understand why you want to go face Foul. Even if he can’t break you, he’ll hurt you terribly. If you can’t use your power, how can you possibly fight him?”

He did not flinch. But she saw him take a few mental steps backward as if his answer required an inordinate amount of care. His emanations became studied, complex. He might have been searching for the best way to tell her a lie. Yet when he began to speak, she heard no falsehood in him; her percipience would have screamed at the sound of falsehood. His care was the caution of a man who did not want to cause any more pain.

“I’m not sure. I don’t think I can fight him at all. But I keep asking myself, how can he fight me?

“You remember Kasreyn.” A wry quirk twisted the corner of his mouth. “How could you forget? Well, he talked quite a bit while he was trying to break me out of that silence. He told me that he used pure materials and pure arts, but he couldn’t create anything pure. ‘In a flawed world purity cannot endure. Thus within each of my works I must perforce place one small flaw, else there would be no work at all.’ That was why he wanted my ring. He said, ‘It’s imperfection is the very paradox of which the Earth is made, and with it a master may form perfect works and fear nothing.’ If you look at it that way, an alloy is an imperfect metal.”

As he spoke, he turned from her slowly, not to avoid her gaze, but to look at the fundamental reassurance of his reflection in the tarn. “Well, I’m a kind of alloy. Foul has made me exactly what he wants—what he needs. A tool he can use to perfect his freedom. And destroy the Earth in the process.

“But the question is my freedom, not his. We’ve talked about the necessity of freedom. I’ve said over and over again that he can’t use a tool to get what he wants. If he’s going to win, he has to do it through the choices of his victims. I’ve said that.” He glanced at her as if he feared how she might react. “I believed it. But I’m not sure it’s true anymore. I think alloys transcend the normal strictures. If I really am nothing more than a tool now, Foul can use me any way he wants, and there won’t be anything we can do about it.”

Then he faced her again, cocked his fists on his hips. “But
that
I don’t believe. I don’t believe I’m anybody’s tool. And I don’t think Foul can win through the kinds of choices any of us has been making. The
kind
of choice is crucial. The Land wasn’t destroyed when I refused Mhoram’s summons for the sake of a snakebit kid. It isn’t going to be destroyed just because Foul forced me to choose between my own safety and Joan’s. And the opposite is true, too. If I’m the perfect tool to bring down the Arch of Time, then I’m also the perfect tool to preserve it. Foul can’t win unless I choose to let him.”

His surety was so clear that Linden almost believed him. Yet within herself she winced because she knew he might be wrong. He had indeed spoken often of the importance of freedom. But the
Elohim
did not see the world’s peril in those terms. They feared for the Earth because Sun-Sage and ring-wielder were not one—because he had no percipience to guide his choices and she had no power to make her choices count. And if he had not yet seen the full truth of Lord Foul’s machinations, he might choose wrongly despite his lucid determination.

But she did not tell him what she was thinking. She would have to find her own answer to the trepidation of the
Elohim
. And her fear was for him rather than for herself. As long as he loved her, she would be able to remain with him. And as long as she was with him, she would have the chance to use her health-sense on his behalf. That was all she asked: the opportunity to try to help him, redeem the harm of her past mistakes and failures. Then if he and the Land and the Earth were lost, she would have no one to blame but herself.

The responsibility frightened her. It implied an acknowledgment of the role the
Elohim
had assigned to her, an acceptance of the risk of Gibbon’s malign promise,
You are being forged
. But there had been other promises also. Covenant had avowed that he would never cede his ring to the Despiser. And the old man on Haven Farm had said,
You will not fail, however he may assail you
. For the first time, she took comfort in those words. Covenant was looking at her intently, waiting for her response. After a moment, she pursued the thread of his explanation.

“So he can’t break you. And you can’t fight him. What good is a stalemate?”

At that, he smiled harshly. But his reply took a different direction than she had expected. “When I saw Mhoram in Andelain”—his tone was as direct as courage—“he tried to warn me. He said, ‘It boots nothing to avoid his snares, for they are ever beset with other snares, and life and death are too intimately intergrown to be severed from each other. When you have come to the crux, and have no other recourse, remember the paradox of white gold. There is hope in contradiction.’ ” By degrees, his expression softened, became more like the one for which she was insatiable. “I don’t think there’s going to be any stalemate.”

She returned his smile as best as she could, trying to emulate him in the same way that he strove to match the ancient Lord who had befriended him.

She hoped he would take her in his arms again. She wanted that, regardless of the Sunbane. She could bear the violation of the desert sun for the sake of his embrace. But as they gazed at each other, she heard a faint, strange sound wafting over the upland hills—a high run of notes, as poignant as the tone of a flute. But it conveyed no discernible melody. It might have been the wind singing among the barren rocks.

Covenant jerked up his head, scanned the hillsides. “The last time I heard a flute up here—” He had been with Elena; and the music of a flute had presaged the coming of the man who had told him that his dreams were true.

But this sound was not music. It cracked on a shrill note and fell silent. When it began again, it was clearly a flute—and clearly being played by someone who did not know how. Its lack of melody was caused by simple ineptitude.

It came from the direction of Revelstone.

The tone cracked again; and Covenant winced humorously. “Whoever’s playing that thing needs help,” he muttered. “And we ought to go back anyway. I want to settle things and get started today.”

Linden nodded. She would have been content to spend a few days resting in Revelstone; but she was willing to do whatever he wanted. And she would be able to enjoy her scrubbed skin and clean hair better in the Keep, protected from the Sunbane. She took his hand, and together they climbed out of the basin of the tarn.

From the hilltop, they heard the flute more accurately. It sounded like its music had been warped by the desert sun.

The plains beyond the plateau looked flat and ruined to the horizons, all life hammered out of them: nothing green or bearable lifted its head from the upland dirt. Yet Glimmermere’s water and the shape of the hills seemed to insist that life was still possible here, that in some stubborn way the ground was not entirely wasted.

However, the lower plains gave no such impression. Most of the river evaporated before it reached the bottom of Furl Falls: the rest disappeared within a stone’s throw of the cliff. The sun flamed down at Linden as if it were calling her to itself. Before they reached the flat wedge of the plateau which contained Revelstone, she knew that her determination to stand by him would not prove easy. In the bottom of her heart lurked a black desire for the power to master the Sunbane, make it serve her. Every moment of the sun’s touch reminded her that she was still vulnerable to desecration.

But by the time they rejoined Cail at the city’s entrance, they could hear that the fluting came from the tip of the promontory overlooking the watchtower. By mute agreement, they walked on down the wedge; and at the Keep’s apex they found Pitchwife. He sat with his legs over the edge, facing eastward. The deformation of his spine bent him forward. He appeared to be leaning toward a fall.

His huge hands held a flute to his mouth as if he were wrestling with it—as if he thought that by sheer obstinate effort he would be able to wring a dirge from the tiny instrument.

At their approach, he lowered the flute to his lap, gave them a wan smile of habit rather than conviction. “Earthfriend,” he said; and his voice sounded as frayed and uncertain as the notes he had been playing. “It boons me to behold you again and whole. The Chosen has proven and reproven her worth for all to see—and yet has survived to bring her beauty like gladness before me.” He did not glance at Linden. “But I had thought that you were gone from us altogether.”

Then his moist gaze wandered back to the dry, dead terrain below him. “Pardon me that I have feared for you. Fear is born in doubt, and you have not merited my doubt.” With an awkward movement like suppressed violence, he indicated the flute. “The fault is mine. I can find no music in this instrument.”

Instinctively Linden went to stand behind the Giant, placed her hands on his shoulders. In spite of his sitting posture and crooked back, his shoulders were only a little below hers; and his muscles were so oaken that she could hardly massage them. Yet she rubbed at his distress because she did not know how else to comfort him.

“Everybody doubts,” Covenant breathed. He did not go near the Giant. He remained rigidly where he was, holding his vertigo back from the precipice. But his voice reached out through the sun’s arid heat. “We’re all scared. You have the right.” Then his tone changed as if he were remembering what Pitchwife had undergone. Softly he asked, “What can I do for you?”

Pitchwife’s muscles knotted under Linden’s hands. After a moment, he said simply, “Earthfriend, I desire a better outcome.”

At once, he added, “Do not mistake me. That which has been done here has been well done. Mortal though you are, Earthfriend and Chosen, you surpass all estimation.” He let out a quiet sigh. “But I am not content. I have shed such blood— The lives of the innocent I have taken from them by the score, though I am no Swordmain and loathe such work. And as I did so, my doubt was terrible to me. It is a dire thing to commit butchery when hope has been consumed by fear. As you have said, Chosen, there must be a reason. The world’s grief should unite those who live, not sunder them in slaughter and malice.

“My friends, there is a great need in my heart for song, but no song comes. I am a Giant. Often have I vaunted myself in music. ‘We are Giants, born to sail, and bold to go wherever dreaming goes.’ But such songs have become folly and arrogance to me. In the face of doom, I have not the courage of my dreams. Ah, my heart must have song. I find no music in it.

“I desire a better outcome.”

His voice trailed away over the cliff-edge and was gone. Linden felt the ache in him as if she had wrapped her arms around it. She wanted to protest the way he seemed to blame himself; yet she sensed that his need went deeper than blame. He had tasted the Despiser’s malice and was appalled. She understood that. But she had no answer to it.

Covenant was more certain. He sounded as strict as a vow as he asked, “What’re you going to do?”

Pitchwife responded with a shrug that shifted Linden’s hands from his shoulders. He did not look away from the destitution sprawling below him. “The First has spoken of this,” he said distantly. The thought of his wife gave him no ease. “We will accompany you to the end. The Search requires no less of us. But when you have made your purpose known, Mistweave will bear word of it to Seareach. There Starfare’s Gem will come if the ice and the seas permit. Should you fail, and those with you fall, the Search must yet continue. The knowledge which Mistweave will bear to Seareach will enable Sevinhand Anchormaster to choose the path of his service.”

Linden looked at Covenant sharply to keep him from saying that if he failed there would be no Earth left for the Search to serve. Perhaps the journey the First had conceived for Mistweave was pointless; still Linden coveted it for him. It was clear and specific, and it might help him find his way back to himself. Also she approved the First’s insistence on behaving as if hope would always endure.