White is for Virgins (37 page)

“Because if it is,” Nina started, “I’d just like to say that I had
noth–”

“Nina, could I turn on the radio, or something?” Fox asked randomly, reaching for the dial.

“It’s not nice to interrupt someone when they’re talking,” I said coldly, crossing my legs at the knee.

“Sorry,” Fox murmured, turning the radio up.

I was somewhat grateful that there was music to fill the void. Shoving what Nina had tried to explain aside, I continued to stare aimlessly out the window. From the peripheral, I could see that Fox was doing the same.

***

Meeting the children was both heart-warming, and heart-wrenching. Knowing that this would be their last Christmas for some of them, I was determined to shove my own stupid problems aside and make this the best Christmas ever.

Surprisingly, there were tons of volunteers this year. We were each given a Santa hat upon entering the hospital.

Jenna, a middle-aged nurse, introduced Fox and me to a large group of children.

“Children, this is Fox,” she said warmly, “and this is Emery. They’re here to spend their Christmas with you. Please, introduce yourselves. Don’t be shy now.”

I jumped right in, shaking everyone’s hand and giving them a candy-cane.

I noticed a little girl in the corner of the room, crying. But before I could stand up and go to her, Fox was half way there. I watched as he sat down next to her, resting against the wall. He said something, and she shook her head. It was cute how he wiped a tear from her cheek, and spoke some more. I couldn’t tell what he said, but her smile was unmistakable.

He took her hand and brought her back to our group.

“Is he your husband?” a little boy named Nathan asked.

I giggled and shook my head. “No, he’s definitely not.”

“Why not?” Chelsea asked, tilting her head to the side. “You would make pretty babies.”

“You don’t marry people just to make pretty babies,” I smiled, signing her lime green cast with a red marker. I made sure to add a candy cane and some snowflakes.

“My mommy says you marry someone because they make you happy,” a girl named Clara said. Her big brown eyes smiled at mine from beneath her hat. She had leukemia.

“Your mommy’s right,” I nodded, signing her coloring book. I felt like a celebrity.

“My dad says he married my mom because she’s hot,” Zachary said.

The girls gasped in disapproval. Fox laughed, “Your dad is a smart man, kid.”

They all turned to glare at Fox. I smirked, watching him take in all their angry and confused expressions.

“When a boy marries a girl, he thinks she’s the most beautiful thing in the world,” he said, looking right up at me as he finished.

“Well, you’re beautiful. And you’re beautiful. Your babies would be beautiful,” Clara said to Fox and me. “You guys should get married.”

“My mommy says I need to finish school and go to college first,” I offered as an excuse, adopting their language.

“Runaway together!” Desiree suggested, followed by a chorus of ‘
yeah’s in the group.

“Then you can make pretty babies and be happy,” Clara nodded eagerly.

“Their babies would be elves,” Nathan concluded.

I gave him a quizzical look.

“
Nuh-uhh
,” Chelsea argued.

“Yeah, they would,” he said, pointing to my shirt and then Fox’s.

I smirked. I was in red, and Fox was in green.
Where do they get this stuff?

“It’s time for dinner! Please bring your groups to the food court!” a nurse called.

Fox and I rounded up the kids and escorted them to the cafeteria. Once everyone had their plates of food, and a sugar cookie, we all took a seat and said grace.

I almost cried, watching them all smile and dig in. They deserved all the health in the world. I prayed especially hard before acknowledging my food.

“You okay?” Fox asked from across the table. I snapped out of my daze and nodded slightly.

Dinner ended, and we all passed out presents. All the organizations had raised enough money to get the kids Nintendo DSs and a game. We also gave them teddy bears.
The looks on their faces would make those still British guards in furry hats smile, I swear.

They attacked us with hugs, and Fox and I fell to the floor laughing.

“Happy Holidays, guys,” I laughed under their weight.

“I told you she was Santa’s elf!” Nathan gasped, examining his new game system.

They all went off in their own groups to open their games and begin playing.

“Emery, can I talk –” Fox began, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Um, I have to go to the bathroom,” I breathed, turning to the restroom.

It didn’t take long for Nina to join me. Her smile vanished as she saw me sitting on the counter, swinging my legs in an effort not to cry. I was so frustrated! And annoyed. And angry. And… tempted to just shove all that aside and pounce on him…

“Emery, look at me,” Nina said calmly. I did.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m sitting on the counter,” I shrugged lamely.

“No,
what are you
doing?” she reiterated – as if that made things so much more clear. “That boy just tried to talk to you, and you shot him down cold.”

“Nina, I can’t believe you expect me to just let Friday go,” I said shocked.

“You’re angry for all the wrong reasons,” she smiled, joining me on the counter with a bit of a struggle. “Yes, I’ll admit I meddled a bit into your business because of my pre-maternal nature. I asked Fox if he knew anyone who might take you to the dance. But I didn’t force him into anything, Emery.”

My gaze snapped up at her so fast I think I got whiplash.
You mean he…

“He skipped the dance to be with you,” she murmured, confirming both my worst fears, and my wildest dreams. Of course, I wasted no time in denying it.

“No he didn’t,” I said blankly.

“Oh, but he did.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“He most certainly did,” she nodded.

I shook my head, “No.”

“Goddamn it, Emery!” Nina laughed, annoyed. “Fox blew the dance to spend time with you! He
likes
you, girl! And you know damn well you like him, too!”

She triumphantly crossed her arms.

“Why?” I whispered, confused as hell. Thinking about it was one thing, but having it said out loud… having it yelled at you… that was just too surreal.

“Why?” Nina asked. “Why
not
, Emery? Honey, look at you. You’re gorgeous, cute, funny, smart, kind. You are a bit too independent for your own good, which makes me think you’re terrified of all of these feelings, but sweetie… you
can’t
let it pass you by.” She hugged me tight before stepping back.

Nina suddenly looked very sad. I watched as she rubbed her stomach, deep in thought.

“Nina,” I said in a shaky voice.

“Hmm?”

“I’m
so
scared,” I whispered, clenching the sleeves of my sweater.

“
Aww, honey,” she smiled sadly, hugging me again. “Everyone’s scared.”

“I’m not like all those other girls. No boobs, no butt, no money. Why the hell would
he
be interested in
me
?”

“That’s just is, Emery. You’re different. It isn’t about the boobs, which you
do
have, or your butt, which is the most adorable thing ever,” she laughed. “It’s because you’re just what he’s been looking for, and he didn’t even know it. He’s just as scared as you are, darling, I promise you.”

We pulled away and I smiled at her. “So... you really think my butt’s adorable?” I joked, checking myself out in the mirror.

She shoved me playfully.

“C’mon Santa’s little helper, there’s a hunk of a present with your name written all over it,” she smirked, pulling me out of the restroom.

I joined the crowd of singing children that had circled Fox and his guitar. They were currently singing ‘Last Christmas’ and I joined in, sitting down and folding my legs in a pretzel. Clara somehow found her way into my lap, and we clapped along and sang in horrible tune. Not once did we drop our smiles.

“This year, to save me from tears,” Fox sang in that velvety voice, “I’ll give it to someone special.” His eyes were locked on my mine throughout that whole verse, and I held my breath.

I felt like a second grader with a crush all over again.

After a few more songs, we put the children to bed. They were allowed a few more minutes of playing with their toys before lights out.

“Emmy?” Clara asked as her delicate fingers traced the eyes of her bear.

“Clara?”

“Are you going to come back and visit?” she asked, looking up at me with bug eyes.

“Of course I am,” I said automatically. It was true; I planned on visiting as frequently as possible.

“Okay,” she yawned. “You’re a nice elf.”

I laughed and tucked her in, wishing her sweet dreams.

Closing the door behind me, I crossed my arms and went back to the cafeteria where a few others were cleaning up.