White is for Virgins (46 page)

“Your stupid ass is
gonna get me killed!” I corrected, hating how that got a smirk out of him. Or maybe, I was just hating myself for
loving
how that got a smirk out of him…

“We’re almost done,” Fox promised, speeding up and shifting to the left of the slope to a small ramp where he –
what’s the lingo?
– ‘got some serious air’.

I was convinced there was nothing he couldn’t do.

We neared the bottom of the slope, and while I was thankful to be alive… my knees were shaking as a thought hit me: how in the hell was I going to stop?

“
Em, slow down,” Fox warned, coming up behind me.

“I would if I knew how,” I yelled back.

The lodge where we’d grabbed hot chocolate was right in our path, and we were getting dangerously close. I really didn’t want to hurt myself and try to stop at such a high speed.

“Close your eyes,” Fox said.

Before I could think twice he clipped my board with his and fell right on top of me. I face-planted into the snow; got crushed by his weight.

He grunted, pushing off of me and helping me flip over onto my back.

“You okay?” he asked, checking my hands. “Anything hurt? Fingers broken?”

“I’d say I’m pretty solid, doc,” I groaned, sitting up. “Except for that inept jackass that fell on top of me and cut off my oxygen supply, I’m pretty satisfied with how things play out.”

He stared down at me. “That inept jackass totally saved your ass.” He held his hand out and tried to help me up.

I pulled as hard as I could and managed to bring him back down into the snow. Thankfully he landed next to, and not on me.

“Now where’s Ryan?” I grinned cheekily. “We gotta celebrate.”

Fox shook his head, smirking and helping himself up. He then stood by and waited for me to get up as well. He didn’t offer his assistance this time – he knew better.

“Oh my God, I saw what happened. Emery, are you okay?” Lily asked, running over to us.

“Fine,” I laughed, dusting the snow off my suit and picking up the board.

“Fox saves the day, huh?” Nick smiled, coming over with his hat and gloves in his hands.

Fox waved his comment off. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Superman’s hungry, I’m ready to call it a day.”

Nobody objected. We all got back to the car and stripped out of our suits and wet clothes. I got down to my skinny jeans and hoodie. It was fun riding back, blasting the oldies radio station and singing Bon Jovi classics. I pulled my soaked hat off and undid my braids.

We drove for about half an hour before stopping at a Chinese buffet restaurant.

Seated and with heaping plates of food in front of us, we all smiled and dug in. Nick looked up and smiled at Lily sitting next to him. It was obvious they weren’t going to pretend everything was fine between them, but they were slowly getting reacquainted and making an effort to get comfortable. He then looked over at Fox and me with a weird smile on his face.

“Looks like we got the double-date right this time,” he commented.

I stuffed my face with noodles and disregarded the comment. Suffice to say it got a little awkward after that.

I got home to find my mom sitting in the kitchen, sipping her coffee and reading a magazine nonchalantly.

I tried to walk past the doorway and up the stairs with the same nonchalance. Keyword? Tried.

“Emery,” she called, “please join me in the kitchen.”

Oh, God. She’s being nice.

Not good. 

Chapter 29

I was hesitant to take the seat opposite my mother’s in the kitchen. She didn’t look up from her mug even after I did.

“So who’s this boy you’ve been spending so much time with?” she inquired, shutting her magazine.

“I’m surprised you noticed.” I instantly regretted my comment, wishing I wasn’t so quick in my defensive responses. I was simply caught off guard.

Her eyes shot up to mine as she took another sip of her coffee. They told me she was still waiting patiently for my answer to her question. And she’d keep waiting until I gave it.

“He’s just a guy from school,” I said, playing with my fingers against the wood of the table. “He volunteers at the shelter with me.”

At this she raised her brow. “Does this boy have a name?”

“Fox Evans.”

“Fox?” she repeated.

“Yeah.”

“Sounds like some kind of
wil–”

“Wild animal, I know,” I smirked.

“Humph, well,” she murmured, tapping her cup, “Whatever it is you two do, I just hope you’re making safe, smart choices.”

“Mom!”

“Emery, you must always use protecti–”

“
Woah, woah, woah,” I said, stopping her. “Mom, slow your roll. We didn’t have sex.”

“Well, in the future, I want to make sure that you absolute–”

“This little talk isn’t necessary,” I interrupted.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Fox and I don’t really head in that direction when we hang out.
With all of our
other friends
,” I stressed.

“What directions have you guys gone in?”

“Mom,” I whined, blushing and looking away.

“Honey,” she chuckled, “I know I’m not around nearly enough to have these conversations with you but I would love to catch up on your love life. Tell me about your hot guy friend.”

“Mom!” I smirked, eyes wide at her comments.

“You can’t tell me he’s not hot, Emery. The look in your eyes and the color in your cheeks gives you away,” she said, smiling wickedly.

“We kissed,” I muttered. It slipped out. “Once.”

The look on her face told me she wanted a little more information.

“It was at the hospital on Christmas Eve, under the mistletoe. My first and only kiss,” I added, “so don’t be going and giving me sex talks, okay? This is all foreign territory.”

“Your first kiss?” she gasped. “Oh wow… I would’ve assumed you had gone through most, if not all the bases by now.”

“Eww, mom.” I was in no way prepared to talk ‘innuendo-baseball’ with my mother.

“Emery, there’s no need to be immature about this, alright? Sex,” she paused when I made a face, “should be a very special moment in a woman’s life.”

“I think it ruins everything, personally.” This comment was in reference to most people in my life.

“And how does it do that?” my mom asked quietly.

“Once people have sex, there’s no turning back,” I explained, awkwardly tugging at the sleeves of my hoodie. “It seems like it’s all people think about in high school. And the problems start when people have too much of it, or when they stop doing it. It ruins relationships.”

“That’s because people in high school don’t understand everything, they rush into things too quickly,” my mom reasoned. “Sex is a very big step for two people. That’s when you reach the pinnacle of trust, and especially of love. You give everything you possibly can to another person you care about. When you choose to share yourself with someone else, it’s truly beautiful, baby.”

“You and Dad don’t exactly prove that.” I mumbled. I didn’t have the courage to look her in the eyes.

There was a long pause, which made me think she hadn’t heard me.

“Love is a difficult thing to uphold when all these other obstacles come flying at you and life takes over, Emery,” she sighed, “It’s not easy finding time to spend with someone when you have a child to take care of, or when the bills start piling up and you argue over money, or when you have to take double shifts to keep your house.” Her voice grew shaky at the end of that sentence.

I looked up, and her eyes were as glossy as eyes could be as she looked at me with a helpless expression.

“Mom…” I managed, grabbing her hand. She squeezed mine and smiled.

“I’m not saying it’s easy to keep a relationship going,” she chuckled, “but it’s not sex that ruins your chance at forever. It’s life, honey. Money, and work, and stress, and stupid little fights, and stubbornness that all contribute to distance and failure.”

The f word caught me off guard. “Failure?”

A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye. “Do you think – do you think your father has someone else?”

“Mom.” I choked at such a ridiculous idea.

“Because I think so.”

“I don’t.”

She shrugged helplessly, playing with her coffee mug. “Why not? I’m sure he could’ve found someone. I’m never around, and he can’t find work. No one expects him to sit on the couch month after month. He needs someone to make him feel good again, and I obviously can’t do that.”