White Lace and Promises (14 page)

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, mahogany box with shiny brass hinges. He opened it.

Inside lay a hundred dollar bill. No, wait—a thick stack of hundred dollar bills. The sight of them swam in her vision as her head seemed to float upwards. Hell’s bells, she’d never seen so much money. Her heart began to pound against her ribcage. It was like being faced with the proof of his wealth all at once—the power of his wealth and her temptation to be swayed by it.

Controlled by it.

Yes, she’d known he was wealthy. Yes, he’d already spent a small fortune on her for clothes and sundries. And yes, he had invested in her brother’s shop and also purchased a carriage and four for Charlie and Ruth’s personal use. And what sane-headed girl wouldn’t want unlimited frocks and cases of aged claret and pineapples and glittering jewellery and improved circumstances for her family and everything else he’d showered her with in the past weeks?

But that wealth had seemed somehow remote, a part of his life away from her, in the world of business and society. The aura made him more exciting, alluring, forbidden to her, but it hadn’t been so tangible until this very moment.

You see, men like him—they must own everything and everyone in their lives. Even when they are done with them. And they grow bored so quickly.

Joshua’s words resounded in her mind.

Her mouth dried.

Grey closed the box. “Guard this well—it contains enough money for you to have anything you need until I return.”

He set the box on her night table.

She looked at it and swallowed, hard.

“Beth.” His tone resonated with controlled patience.

Her shoulders stiffened at his tone. She was beginning to know him. A lecture was coming. She took a deep breath, bracing herself, and glanced back at him. “Yes?”

“I prefer you to spend this money on yourself, for your wants and needs alone. I don’t want it ending up in your brother’s hands. I have taken care of him. He is no longer your worry.” Under his gentle tone, the command was unmistakable. “No more moneylenders, no more signing for loans. I am placing my trust in you.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Beth, I do mean it. If you betray my trust this time—”

“Oh. So this is a test?”

“Perhaps it is.”

That hurt—more than she wanted to admit. A need to defend herself rose hot in her blood. “I won’t do that again, but, you see, Ruth’s boy was unwise at cards, he—”

“I don’t care to hear the details; they do not matter. The only thing that matters is I do not want my wife being used by her—”

“
Used?
You’re suggesting Ruth would—” She sputtered. “That she could intentionally use me like that?”

“I am not suggesting anything. I am saying it flat out. Your half-siblings use you and you allow it. But I mean to put an end to it.”

“You don’t understand how it—”

He held up a forestalling hand. “Listen, I do understand, too well. But I can’t allow this to go on. I want you to stay here with Mrs Hazelwood. It’s better if you begin to break away from your siblings and their lives now. It will make the adjustment easier when we move to New York.”

“But they are my family! I have so little time left with them.”

His eyes turned to grey ice. “You must commit to me first, Beth—I shall be your husband.”

“Yes, of course, but—”

“I shall have my way in this. You must commit firmly to me. You must obey my wishes on this.”

She caught her breath so hard her neck muscles tensed. He’d just dictated where she would live until their wedding and he thought to justify his control over her by paying her. He was leaving her and trying to buy her obedience to his will while he was away. Oh, she certainly felt like a wife now—only in the worst possible way. Apparently, security had its price.

She handed him back the box. “I don’t need your money. When you come back, I shall wed you and move with you to New York. Until then, I shall live as I have been living, with my brother and sister.”

If his eyes had been chilly before, now they went positively glacial. “I decided to invest in your brother’s shop and expand it solely to discharge this foolish responsibility you feel to the children of a man who rejected you.”

The edge in his voice sent a cold ripple into her stomach. “They are finding the transition troublesome. They need help sorting out what to keep and what to throw out before the move. In addition, there are many orders that need to be settled before they change locations.”

His jaw twitched. “You must commit wholly to me, Beth. Your siblings have to learn to cope without you. There’s no better time for them to start than now.”

“But—”

“There are no buts here. As I said, they take advantage of you and I mean to put an end to it.”

The man’s incredible audacity! She gasped. “I am not your wife yet. You’ve no call to dictate my life. Especially when you are not sharing your life with me yet.”

“You insist on being difficult when I am only trying to help you—only trying to care for you.” He took the box and stood. His eyes were hooded. He shook his head slowly. “I try, Beth. I try so very hard to show you my love, my concern. You throw it back in my face. Why do you do that?”

“I—I don’t.” Her voice sounded strangled. She tried to clear it. “I just don’t want you to think that all I want is your money…that I can be controlled through your money.”

“You do me yet another insult.” He turned on his heel.

She watched his broad-shouldered back as he walked to the door. She ran to him, wrapped her arms about his waist and pressed her face to his back. She inhaled the scent of his cologne mixed with his sweat and their sex. “No, don’t leave me! Not when there are so many things between us—things I don’t understand!”

“What must you understand?” His voice vibrated through his strong frame.

“I want you to tell me more about Juliana.”

“Beth…don’t do this. Not now.”

“I have to know.”

He took her hands and pulled them away from his waist. He turned to face her, still holding her hands. “She has nothing to do with us.”

She chewed her lip and gathered up her courage, her breath quickening. “But you set her aside.”

His lips compressed, the flesh around them going white.

She smoothed his lapel. “Grey, just tell me so I can understand. The duel… Joshua said—”

“
Joshua
said?” His hand encircling her wrists became like an iron manacle. A jolt ricocheted through her heart. What had she just said?

Oh, hell’s bells—what had she just said?!

“He followed me. I went outside at Mrs Hazelwood’s for some air and he followed me.”

She swallowed against a tightening throat. “You knew.”

Her last words squeaked out as a bare whisper.

He studied her for a moment, his eyes pale grey and boring into her. Prying at her secrets. “Yes, I knew—however, this sounds a quite intimate discussion with
Joshua.”
He mimicked her voice with horrible, simpering softness. “Far more intimate than I gave you credit for being.”

“Grey, please, it was nothing.”

His wintery stare flicked over her face, freezing her blood. “You met with him to strike at me for Baltimore, didn’t you?”

Had she? Possibly. She didn’t exactly wish to look too deeply into that aspect of it at the moment. She took a hitching breath. “He means nothing. No one does now, except for you.”

“Dr Wade, Thomas Watson—who else Beth? How many men? How many are friends of mine? Is it only here, in Philadelphia, or will I be faced with your former lovers among my associates in New York?”

Her heart beat up into her throat, almost gagging her. She could count her past lovers on one hand, but she couldn’t say if he was friendly with them or not. “Grey, please don’t do this. You said we should not accuse each other with our pasts; that we must focus on the future.”

“Beth, I won’t stand for your disloyalty. I won’t stand for flirtation or slights to my honour. You have to behave like a lady from here on out. You agreed to it.”

Yes, she had. He’d explained what would be required of her. God knew she never intended to be disloyal or play the flirt. But there was a stranger inside her. A passionate stranger who hungered for a man’s appreciative gaze, his strong body upon hers. A part of her that suddenly frightened her. They could not part with coldness between them. She swallowed against that persistent lump in her throat. They couldn’t. She had to have the memory of their passion to sustain her.

She grabbed his hands. They remained firm and unyielding, curled into fists as if he would rather do anything than take her hands in that moment. His hands were so much larger than hers. Too strong for her to force open.

“I can make things better. I promise. I swear I shall do as you wish. I’ll stay here with Mrs Hazelwood and I won’t sign any more loans.” She let go of his hands and grasped his lapels, pulling at him. He proved as immovable as a marble pillar. She threw a glance over her shoulder at the bed, then back at him. The skin pulled tight over his cheekbones and his eyes cut into her like ice.

Oh, he looked fearsome. She couldn’t let him leave like this. “Come back to bed—tarry an hour or so more. What can it harm?”

“Beth, don’t do this.”

She had to get him back to her bed. She
had
to. Once there, everything would work out. She repositioned her grip, getting more of the fabric in her hands, and tugged harder but he held firm, staring down at her with that hard, cold look. She let go and pressed closer.

“Please, Grey—just come and lay with me for a while.” Looking up at him through her lashes, a move she knew no man on earth could resist, she reached out and stroked him intimately through his pantaloons. He caught his breath and his cock reared against her hand, leaping from half aroused to a full erection.

Flames ignited in his eyes. Flames like she’d never seen in a man’s eyes. Unconsciously, she took a step back. He followed, took hold of her upper arms and gave her a little push.

“You want me in your bed?” He began walking, determinedly, propelling her backwards. “It’s not a very exclusive place, is it?”

She stumbled along backwards. She had to explain. As she continued to walk backwards, she spoke. “Grey, you don’t understand. They meant nothing to me. They
are
nothing to me. It was j—just—just—just youthful impulse.” The backs of her legs pressed against the bed, halting their journey.

He stared down with those blazing eyes.

“I was lonely…life was dreary.” She gulped and cleared her throat. “I’ve had nothing my whole life—nothing of any value or interest to anyone but my beauty. You must understand. You
must
.” Tears pressed hot in her throat, choking her. “It made me feel special, wanted.”

He pushed her down and she fell onto the soft bed. Her mouth dropped open and she gaped up as he loomed over her, tall and powerful. Their eyes locked. Something heated, primal, pulsed on the air between them. His jaw tensed. She caught her breath; dizziness tingled over her whole body. Her mouth went dry even as wetness soaked from her core.

He came down on top of her, clasping her wrists. A mix of fear and excitement tingled through her. Instinctively, she thrashed against his hold. His thighs landed on either side of her and he pressed his knees together, pinioning her. The feel of his strength—of his power—sent that same tingling sensation through her, more intense this time. She grew wetter than she’d been in her life. God, she’d wanted his reaction, his emotion, a reaffirmation that he wanted her as desperately as she wanted him. She had it now, for certain.

But, damn it, he wasn’t going to dictate to her, he wasn’t going to control her. He certainly wasn’t going to physically detain her!

He brought his face close to hers. “You’re mine, Beth,
mine
. I’ll never, ever let you go.”

Her heart fluttered wildly and she began to tremble with excitement. She tried to free her hands so she could grasp his shoulders and pull him closer. He resisted her efforts and pulled her arms over her head, holding them there with one large hand. “Admit you are mine—admit you love me. Say the words.”

She gaped at him. “Like
this
? You can’t be serious.”

“I assure you, I have never been more serious.” His silver gaze pierced into her. “Before I leave here today, you’re going to admit it.”

Internally, she fought against the pull of his demand; externally, she struggled against his hold. “Go to hell, you arrogant jackanapes!”

Maintaining his hold with one hand, he reached down with the other and shoved her skirts up. She tried to hold her knees together but found his hard, muscled leg there quicker than she could move. He pressed between them, widening them. He pushed two fingers inside her, so swiftly she sucked her breath in.

She wanted to deny him. To fight him, to hit at him and demand he cease. God—even to cry out and bring the servants. But exhilaration swelled deep within her belly. It held her passive. It made her tremble. Wetness gushed from her core and became audible with each thrusting move of his fingers. Oh, God,
God
…she licked her lips and swallowed.