White Lines (52 page)

“But you keep talking about all the things he had that you didn’t have. It sounds like you were jealous.”

“I wasn’t jealous. I felt like I got a raw deal. Born got two parents, while I had one. All I had was my moms, and she was fucked up.”

“I understand what you’re saying. But even though he loved his father, Born was disappointed in him, because he was an addict. It’s not like Born grew up with the Huxtables, or anything.”

“But at least Leo was there for him. The nigga was never there for me. I didn’t think that shit was fair. That Born grew up with his father and a good mother, and I didn’t.”

Jada frowned. “Well, it’s not Born’s fault that he had a good mother. And it’s not his fault that Leo loved him. He never even knew that you could be his brother.”

Jamari looked at Jada coldly, upset that she was defending Born. “Whether he knew or not, he still played me. The nigga cut me off ‘cause of one fuckin’ mistake.”

“Yeah. But that was a lot of money, Jamari—”

“I
made
the nigga a lot of money! Whose side are you on? I didn’t take
shit
from him that wasn’t due to me. All the time I spent putting in work for that nigga, and all the times I had his back when the rest of his crew deserted him … the nigga owed me more than that. Five thousand dollars wasn’t shit to Born, but that money meant the difference between life and death to me. I was the one who never had shit growing up. Not that nigga! It was my chance to do me, and I wasn’t gonna let that nigga stop me from doing what I felt I needed to do. He had all the riches to himself all his life. Even the brothers and sisters that he did know about didn’t get as much as he did.” Jamari took a deep breath, and tried to clear his head. He was very animated, and he didn’t want to give off the impression that he was losing control. “All I’m saying is this. When Born cut me off, he made it easier for me to take what I felt should have been mine all along.”

Jada looked at Jamari, and saw him in a whole new light. She wondered if she was one of the things Born had once possessed that Jamari just had to have for himself. She started wondering if she was being used as a pawn, and Jada felt played. She felt stupid, and wondered what Born must think about her being pregnant by a nigga who had double-crossed him. Had she known all of this sooner, she would never have allowed herself to become involved with Jamari. Thinking back on her reluctance to be a mother in the beginning, she quickly felt that she had made the wrong decision. She never would have kept the baby had she known the whole truth. She felt stuck, since she was approaching her sixth month of pregnancy.

Jamari saw the look on her face, and assumed that she was upset. “So now what? You feel like I’m a monster or something?”

Jada stared back at him, neither confirming or denying that fact. “I understand this shit between y’all a lot more now,” she said. “I understand why you two hate each other so much.” Jada stopped talking, and let the silence linger momentarily. “Why would you wait until now to tell me this, Jamari? You knew how I was dealing with Born, and from the beginning you never let on about any of this. And both of you have this hatred toward each other. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Born never told you,” Jamari said. “He never mentioned how he thought I stole from him. So why should I have told you?”

Jada shrugged, unwilling to try to explain it. “I still think you should tell Born about you being his brother—”

“For what? That ain’t gonna change shit. We’re grown-ass men now. I don’t need him to be my brother, and Leo ain’t around to be my father. Fuck it. That’s the hand that I was dealt.” Jamari shrugged his shoulders. “But that nigga Born is gonna get what’s coming to him, though. No matter what happens, I know he’s gotta get his in the end. The nigga had it too good for too long.”

Jada looked at Jamari, and absorbed the words coming out of his mouth. She was disgusted. This nigga—this hating-ass nigga—was the father or the child growing in her womb. From that moment on she hated Jamari, since she felt that he was only out to hurt Born, and was
using her to do it. She made up her mind then and there to get him back. Not just for playing her, but for having so much resentment toward Born as well.

Jada knew that Born was a good man. She had let him down, and that was why he’d left her. But Jamari had painted him as some animal, and Jada knew it all stemmed from his own jealousy over Born’s lifestyle. She also wanted to pay Jamari back for deceiving her for so long. She started wishing she could undo it all. Just go back and fix her mistakes. But looking at her swollen belly, she knew it was too late.

So instead of aborting her baby and leaving Jamari like she wanted to do, Jada devised a scheme that would have made Sunny proud. She would hit Jamari where it hurt the most, and at the same time give her the resources she needed to leave his sorry ass for good.

Jamari was still hustling with Wizz at that time. Born was gone, and his team had fallen apart. Dorian was gone, with all his artillery and manpower. So Jamari and Wizz were huddled together plotting takeovers like Pinky and the Brain, night after night. Soon they were doing big business, because all the heavy hitters from back in the day were either dead or in jail. The game was changing, and those two knew that they were in the perfect position to shut shit down. They started moving more and more bricks.

Jamari stopped bagging up at home, so Jada didn’t see it moving through the house as she used to. He had enough common sense to know that he shouldn’t tempt her with it, knowing how she was jonesing for it. But a couple of times Jada was with him when he met his connect, so she had an idea of the type of money that was changing hands. His name was Elliot, and Jada got to know him well. Elliot was Guyanese, and he was handsome. But the nigga was ruthless, too. Jada knew that Jamari was afraid of him, because his whole demeanor changed around Elliot. He would sit straighter and talk more ghetto, and she could tell it wasn’t really in him to be all hard like that. He wanted people to think that he was this rugged, thugged-out hustler. But she was finally starting to see that he was a wannabe. Jada had been through these types of meetings with Born, and he had never changed who he was just to be accepted.
You took him at face value, or you didn’t fuck with him at all. Ja-mari was nothing like Born.

She had nothing but time on her hands to think. And she thought about how Born had loved her. He had loved her completely. And he had trusted her, even though he didn’t trust people easily. She had let him down, and she was sad about that. Then, to find out that Jamari had done him dirty. She wished that she could talk to Born, but she knew that she was probably the last person he wanted to talk to. Jada didn’t care about the baby, and stopped taking her vitamins and eating right, hoping to have a miscarriage. She just wanted to get high again.

The difference between Jamari and Born was that Jamari didn’t give Jada any money. None at all. If there was no food, he went food shopping with her. If she wanted clothes, he took her shopping. If she had a craving, he took her out to eat. She didn’t have any money in her hands from the moment she spent the last dollar in her bank account. Once she ran out of cash, Jamari took care of her, but never gave her her own dough. He knew that would have meant independence to Jada. And that was the last thing he wanted.

After a while, the block got hot, and Jamari’s scared ass got nervous. He and Wizz were moving a lot of blow through the borough, and the cops were stepping their game up. Niggas from all the hoods—West Brighton, New Brighton, Stapleton—were getting knocked left and right. Sweeps took place on Jersey Street, Targee Street, Broad Street, and Henderson, and soon half the borough’s hustlers were fighting cases or copping pleas. Jamari and Wizz were scared. But they had to make money. The final straw for Jada was when Jamari asked her to make a trip for him. She was visibly pregnant, and the son of a bitch asked her to make a run uptown for him. He wanted Jada to go and get a package from Elliot, and then bring it to Wizz. Naturally, she said no, and told him to kiss her ass. Jamari explained that he was only asking her because the cops wouldn’t suspect Jada of anything, with her being pregnant and all. So Jada was mad at first that he asked her to do it. Then she thought about it, and realized that this was her chance.

She waited until he brought it up again, and then she agreed to it. She
told him that she knew he was only trying to look out for her and the baby, and that she would have his back the same way he had hers. Jada asked him to tell her what he needed her to do in detail. What she was hoping was that he would give her the money, and she would fake, like she was going uptown, and just break the fuck out. But that’s not what his arrangement was. Jamari was getting his shit on consignment. He had set it all up with Elliot, and Jada was just supposed to go and get it, and bring it back. But she had a whole different plan.

When she went to meet with Elliot, Jada was supposed to get two bricks for twenty-three grand apiece. They had to get the money back to Elliot after they moved the drugs. Jamari and Wizz were mimicking Born’s operation, and selling cocaine in different forms, from wholesale to retail. Elliot had done lots of business with them. But when Jada went to meet with Elliot, she had to convince him to give her five bricks instead of the two she was supposed to pick up. Jada used her pregnancy as a prop.

She explained to Elliot that Jamari and Wizz really needed five bricks and not the two they had discussed. Jada wasn’t sure for a minute if the nigga would go for it. She sat across from Elliot, who stared back at her, suspiciously. She wasn’t sure if he was buying her story or not, so she repeated it for clarity.

“I’m telling you, Elliot. He said he needed two before he spoke to Wizz. Wizz told him that they needed more than that. You can call Jamari and ask him.”

Elliot did just that. Jada sat there, nervous as hell, even though she knew that she’d taken Jamari’s cell phone with her that day. It was downstairs in the glove compartment in her car. He got no answer and left a message demanding an explanation for the surprise increase.

Elliot hung up the phone, and frowned. “Why didn’t he mention this shit to me himself? He sends you all the way uptown to do his dirty work? What kind of man is that?” Elliot’s voice dripped with his sexy accent.

“Jamari didn’t want to ask you, Elliot. He’s too scared of you.” Elliot looked at Jada as if he hadn’t heard her correctly. She smiled. “Don’t tell
him I said that. And don’t act like you never noticed. You know you can tell that he ain’t all the way cut out for this game, and you know you see the weakness in him.”

Elliot looked at Jada, curiously. “You’re telling me that this man is weak. That he has fear in his heart, and that he don’t got what it takes. And yet, this is
your
man.” Elliot looked her square in the eyes. “Your man whose baby is growing inside you right now.”

Jada shifted her gaze, as if she was annoyed that this was a fact. “I got caught up. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, you know what I’m saying? It’s too late now. Now I got a baby on the way, and a man who’s too scared to step up and ask for what we need to stay afloat. We’re fucked up right now, Elliot. Shit is bad. But you got what we need to get back on. Now you know Jamari and Wizz move these bricks. I’ve been on the scene long enough to see how often they come to see you. We’re all making money, and they’ve never caused you to take a loss yet. Dammit, I’ll put my word on it, if that means anything to you. But I need you to give us this shot, Elliot. I need your help. Jamari needs your help. Please do this, and we’ll always be in your debt.” She rubbed her belly for sympathy, and looked at him innocently.

Jada knew she had tugged at Elliot’s heartstrings when he rubbed his goatee as if deep in thought. He looked at Jada, and nodded his head. “I’m gonna give you the shot,
mami.
But you better tell Jamari that I want my money on time, with no excuses. I don’t want to hear no bullshit. I mean that. Don’t force me to make your child a fatherless bastard. Don’t fuck me.”

Jada nodded, and smiled. She grabbed Elliot’s hand and shook it, and he smiled back at her at last. Truth was, Elliot liked her. She reminded him of his baby sister, who had always possessed a hustler’s spirit as well. He summoned his boy, and had the package brought down to them. When it was all there, Elliot had his man bring it out to the car, since Jada was very pregnant, and shouldn’t be struggling with a heavy bag. She thanked him, and shook his hand again, knowing that it would be for the last time. As she drove back to Staten Island, she was scared to
death that she would be pulled over. She had five bricks of cocaine in her car. She was fully aware of the looming life sentence that awaited her if she was caught. She glanced back at the bag in the backseat containing all five bricks, and headed for Arlington.

Jada called Born’s friend Chance, and told him she had an offer he couldn’t refuse. He met her in the parking lot behind his Arlington apartment building, and Jada showed him the bricks she had for sale. Ja-mari was paying twenty-three grand per brick, so five would have cost him $ 115 thousand. Jada offered to sell Chance all five for a flat seventy-five grand. He went and consulted with his boys, and they bought it, knowing that this was a steal. They never questioned where Jada had gotten the drugs, or why she was so eager to get rid of it for so cheap. It didn’t matter. They gave her what she wanted, and Jada took the money and ran.

Jada went by Born’s mother’s house. She wasn’t even sure what made her go over there. She just did. Jada knocked on Ingrid’s door, and was thrilled when she opened it. Ingrid was surprised to find Born’s ex standing at her door unannounced. Ingrid let her in. She took in Jada’s pregnant condition. Jada’s belly was big and round, and she seemed happy to see Ingrid.

“Miss Ingrid, I know it seems strange for me to be here,” Jada said. She knew that Ingrid must be curious to find out why she had stopped by. So Jada told her the truth.

She told Born’s mother that she was with a man who she had thought had her best interests at heart. She told her that Jamari had made her feel like she was a queen, and that it all turned out to be a lie. Jada leveled
with her, and told her that she had no one she could trust. No one who she could ask for a favor like the one she needed now.