White Lines (8 page)

Another time, Charlie demanded that she have anal sex with him in exchange for some crack. That time she did cry, the entire time. And Charlie didn’t even seem to care. He kept pounding away at her, ramming her with no mercy. “You like that?” he panted as she bit the sheets, her body tense. “You know you like it.”

It seemed to take him forever to cum that night. When he finally did, he passed out, and Jada spent the rest of the night getting high. She was beginning to see that living with Mr. Charlie came with a bigger price than she could afford.

One day Jada was jonesing and she knew Charlie had money. But for some reason, he wasn’t so willing to part with it anymore. She had her period, and therefore had little to offer Mr. Charlie. She didn’t feel like being passed around like a toy among Charlie and his friends this time. She had five dollars she found in the pocket of one of Charlie’s jackets. All she needed was four or five more dollars to get high at least one good time.

Jada was in the corner store, and she was itching for a scratch. “Come on,
papi.
I just bought this shit from you yesterday. I don’t need it, so
just let me get my money back.” Jada pushed the container toward the man behind the register. She was trying to return some laundry detergent she had bought the day before.

“I don’t even know that you bought that here,” the Hispanic store clerk argued. “You could have bought that anywhere. Now you want me to give you money back for it. Where’s your receipt?”

“I don’t have the fuckin’ receipt. But I’m in here every day, and you know I bought this here. It’s four fuckin’ dollars. Just let me get it so I can get out of your store.” Jada was desperate. She stood there and argued with the clerk, until he finally gave her the money back. She could tell as the man muttered in Spanish while he reached in the register that he was giving her the money just to get her out of the store. She almost snatched the four one-dollar bills out of his hand, she was so anxious to get them. Then, as she turned to leave, Jada saw her mother standing near the front of the store, as if she had just walked in.

Jada stopped dead in her tracks, and wondered how much Edna had seen and heard. Edna looked in Jada’s eyes. And for a moment, Jada swore that her mother knew everything. The look on her mother’s face made Jada feel like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. It was almost like Edna could see right through her, and could tell that her daughter was jonesing. She could see that Jada was out there. Edna looked at her daughter’s disheveled clothing, her sloppy ponytail, and her thin frame. She wanted to cry. But despite the obvious angst written all over her face, all Edna did was move aside and walk toward the back of the store. As she walked past her, Jada thought for a moment that her mother was going to stop and say something. But she didn’t say a word. Edna simply walked past her, and Jada walked slowly out of the store. After Jada left the store, she cried all the way back to Charlie’s building. She was so hurt that her mother hadn’t said anything to her. Not a word. In a way, Jada had wanted her mother to reach out to her somehow. To hug her and say that she would help her get clean. But as usual, Edna was unwilling to help her daughter. And now Jada really felt alone in the world.

Two days later, Jada was pacing in the apartment, wondering how
long it would be before Charlie came back. He hadn’t come home the night before, and Jada hadn’t been high in far too long. Shante had gotten arrested for stealing, which left Jada with no partner in crime. Her friend’s arrest made Jada hesitant to do it herself. More than anything, Jada feared going to jail. And that fear was only bolstered by Shante’s predicament. To make matters worse, Lucas was nowhere to be found. She searched frantically through the pockets of Charlie’s clothes and in the cushions of the sofa, to no avail. When he was leaving the previous day, Charlie had told Jada that he couldn’t give her any money. He said that he had bills to pay, that his wife needed money for his kids. Jada had never even known he
had
kids, but all of a sudden his kids needed money. She wasn’t concerned about all that, though. All she wanted was to get high. She was alone in the house with no means of getting her fix.

Charlie finally came home at nearly two o’clock that afternoon. Jada was thirsting for a hit.

“Damn!” she said, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. “I was dying for you to get back, Charlie. Can I get something? I need it.”

That’s when Charlie saw his opportunity.

“I think I might be able to help you,” he said. He stroked her ass as he said it. He looked at her, still pretty, even after all the abuse she’d put her body through. He sighed. “I like having you to myself, Jada. You’re my favorite girl. But you got a habit I can’t afford to keep supporting.”

Jada looked like she was surprised by his words, but she knew in her heart that he was right. Her habit had ballooned out of proportion. “So how can you help me?” she asked. She prayed that he wouldn’t suggest rehab, like Rico had. That’s not the kind of help she wanted. All she wanted was some help to stay high.

“Kelly, my wife, she can set you up on ‘dates’ with men. They can help you make money to feed your habit.”

Jada let his words sink in. She thought about being a call girl or some kind of prostitute. She thought about Shante’s advice about the “power of the pussy.” She wondered how much she could make. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do that every night. I don’t want to be fuckin’ with dirty men—with strangers. They could be psychos.”

Charlie nodded. “I understand that, and I’ll keep it real with you. You’re a star, baby girl. Even though right now you got a real jones for that crack, you’re still pretty. You look good naturally. You’re a freak in bed. You’re a high-class bitch. Don’t ever let a nigga tell you that you ain’t worth nothing. I almost wanna keep you for myself and let you shine. But you’re worth more than what I can give you. I can’t afford you. You need to work what you got, and Kelly can help you do that.” Charlie was being truthful. It pained him to turn the sexy young lady out. Jada had given him some of the best sex he’d ever had. But it was time for him to make back the money he’d invested in her.

Jada thought about it. Charlie could see the look of anguish on her face as she considered his words.

“Let me call Kelly over to talk to you. I’ll let her tell you like it is. And then you can see what you wanna do.”

Jada nodded, and off he went to retrieve the phone. She sat, and took another hit, while Charlie arranged for his lady to come and add another worker to their stable. Kelly was there within the hour.

“This is Jada.” Charlie finally introduced the two women. Kelly looked Jada up and down, thinking that Charlie sure had chosen a pretty one this time. Jada seemed nervous in the presence of Charlie’s main chick. Kelly was taller than Jada, and her face seemed unaccustomed to smiling. She was dark skinned and heavyset, and she didn’t waste a lot of time before she cut to the chase.

“I hear you need to make some money,” she said.

Jada nodded, and shifted nervously. “I do need to make money. But I’m not sure about doing what Charlie suggested. I don’t know if I can sell my body to strange men.”

Kelly nodded. In her mind she was relieved that Charlie was finally willing to set Jada out on the track. He always broke the young ones in before he cut them loose. Usually Kelly managed to keep her jealousy under wraps. But with Jada, for the first time she felt threatened. Jada was prettier than most of the girls Charlie normally attracted. And Charlie had kept her around as his own companion for far longer than he usually kept the girls. Kelly had begun to wonder if he was feeling for Jada,
and she was relieved when he called and told her that he was ready to put her to work. Kelly tried to keep her voice sincere as she began. “I met Charlie when I was nineteen and broke. My stepfather was fucking me and my sister, and I wasn’t going back to that. When Charlie found me I was homeless, sleeping in the project stairwells, because I had no place else to go. I was out running them streets, and I was living dangerously. Charlie helped me out, and I’ll never forget that.”

Jada nodded, feeling that she had her own reasons to be grateful to Mr. Charlie. Kelly continued.

“I remember what it was like for me starting out on my own and not having nobody to lean on. Nobody cared if I ate, or where I slept, or how I survived. All I had was me, and I was scared to death. Thank God I found somebody to help me.” Kelly paused and looked at Jada. “You have somebody who’s willing to help you, too. Charlie has a big heart. He doesn’t judge people. And he sees something special in you. We wanna try to help set you up on dates with good men. Men with cash and class and none of that other bullshit. You’re gonna be safe, and you’ll make a lot of money. And it’ll be your money. You won’t have to ask nobody else for shit. You’ll have your own.” Kelly promised Jada that she wouldn’t send her any dirty, disgusting men. “You have a very pretty face, and your body is close to perfect. I’ll have no problems getting the good dates for you.”

Jada relaxed and felt better about the prospect of working for Kelly. Kelly seemed so nice. Almost like a mother figure. Jada liked her, because she was being so comforting, and she seemed as if she genuinely wanted to help her. But mostly Jada liked her because Kelly had devised a plan to keep her high. And her plan was beginning to sound like it wasn’t such a bad one after all.

It wasn’t long before Kelly got Jada started. She took her first “date” in the fall of 1993, when she was only nineteen years old. Kelly brought Jada to a spot out in Harlem. It was something like a boardinghouse, with three separate rooms and one common bathroom. Jada was understandably nervous, and even had second thoughts about the whole thing. What if the men smelled bad or looked disgusting? What if they wanted her to do something that she didn’t want to do? Kelly calmed her fears, telling Jada that she would only send her the cleanest and most decent-looking men. Jada was still not fully persuaded, until Kelly held out her hand, and in it sat two crack vials. Jada reached for them eagerly, but Kelly closed her hand in time to stop Jada from taking them.

“You get
one
now, and one after the night is over. The first one will relax you enough for you to do what you need to do. The second one I’ll hold for you until it’s all over. That way you can get high after you’re finished, and you won’t have to think about it when all is said and done.” Kelly gave her a half smile.

Jada nodded, thinking that this was a perfect plan. She took the one vial that Kelly extended to her. She made Jada go down to the basement to smoke it. The stairs that led to the basement were covered in cobwebs. She could smell the scent of cheap perfume mixed with cigarette smoke. It was obvious that downstairs was the part of the house where the women went to unwind. Jada noticed a black girl nodding in the corner.

She wondered if it was fatigue or heroin that made her nod like that. She descended the last step and looked around. The furniture was old and worn, the windows dingy, but to Jada, none of that mattered. She was here to get high, get paid, and go home.

Once she was down there, Jada saw another young lady. Judging from the pipe the white girl puffed on eagerly, she was a young lady with a crack habit to support. Just like Jada. Between hits, the white chick introduced herself. “My name is Cara.” She had shoulder-length red hair and pretty green
eyes.
Her clothes looked cheap and raggedy, but her beauty couldn’t be denied. What cracked Jada up was that when she opened her mouth she sounded like a black girl from around the way.

“This is your first time?” Cara asked.

Jada nodded, feeling a little like a fish out of water.

Cara smiled. She had a smile that would light up a room. “You’ll get used to it real quick.” Cara was very animated and energetic. She didn’t mince words, and she told Jada point-blank that she loved to suck dick, and she was good at it. “That’s my claim to fame. I can even teach you how to do it.”

Cara proceeded to do just that. Using an empty bottle of Poland Spring water, she demonstrated her techniques. While Jada sat in the basement getting high, Cara launched into step-by-step instructions on how to make any man holla. She made no apologies for her addiction, nor for her means of supplying herself with cocaine. Cara had no shame.

When Jada was sufficiently high, she went back upstairs to find Kelly. She found her standing with a man who looked like he was about fifty years old. He wasn’t very handsome, but he wasn’t exactly ugly, either. He had a medium build and graying hair. But he seemed nice enough, and he didn’t smell bad. But he did smell old. Like Old Spice. Kelly showed Jada and the man into one of the empty rooms and closed the door behind her as she left. Jada was all alone with the stranger who would usher her into the world of prostitution.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, and smiled at her. “You’re really pretty,” he said.

“Thanks.” Jada was high, and fidgeting. She plucked at imaginary lint
on her shirt, and her eyes darted back and forth between her clothes and the man sitting on the bed.

“Can I see you?’’ he asked.

Jada didn’t know what he meant, and the confusion was evident on her face.

“Take off your clothes,” he clarified.

Jada began to oblige him, unbuttoning her shirt swiftly.

“Slowly,” the man said. “Do it slowly.”

Jada looked at him. She was disappointed that he wasn’t going to be quick about it. He wanted to see her—all of her. She undressed awkwardly, knowing that this was a moment she would never forget. Somehow this was different from Mr. Charlie and his friend. Charlie was familiar. He was always the common denominator. This time, with this man, she was all on her own. Selling herself. This whole situation was blowing her high. Slowly she undid the buttons on her blouse. She took it off, and laid it on the chair next to the bed. Then she slowly peeled off her jeans and stood before the man with only her bra and panties on. As she reached to remove her underwear, he stopped her.