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Authors: Scot Gardner

BOOK: White Ute Dreaming
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We watched a movie that night, the three of us lying on Dad's bed. In the first lot of ads Dad dragged a couple of VB cans out of the fridge and offered me one. I was still full from tea and I had to say no to the beer.

‘Have you got a smoke?' I asked.

Some beer went down the wrong hole and he coughed and spluttered. ‘What for?'

‘Oh. Just have a smoke,' I said awkwardly. What else do you do with the bloody things? ‘Mum lets me. Every now and then.'

He shook his head. ‘Nah. Sorry mate. Don't smoke any more. Haven't had a choof for . . . oh . . . four months now.'

I sat up. ‘Fair dinkum?'

He nodded. ‘And if you want my honest opinion, if you smoke you're fucked in the head.'

That was a slap in the face. Four months ago he was Mr
Chimney now he's on a health kick and anyone who smokes is ‘fucked in the head'.

He bent down and looked me in the eyes. ‘It will kill you.'

Whatever. It's not that important. ‘Can I have that beer?'

‘Yeah, sure,' he said, and fished me out a green can.

The movie was funny. It was about a bloke who gets dumped with a little kid who has to pee all the time. At the end, it got a bit gooey with dads hugging their kids and that. That was a bit off. Dad was lying there beside me and I could feel his leg jiggling. Mine was going too and I stopped it.

Lying in my bed later, I thought that being in the van with Dad was pretty cool. I was sleeping in the same room as his popping snores but that didn't bother me. Sort of like we were camping together. In luxury. I dunno. It was cool anyway.

Dad had to get up before light again to go to the dunny. I got up and did the sprinkler thing off the doorstep onto the grass. Chick, chick, chick, chick, brrrrr. Chick, chick, chick . . . I was dressed before Dad got back.

‘Where you off to?' he croaked.

‘Dennis and that are shifting today. I said I'd go over and say goodbye.'

‘It's not even six o'clock,' he said, and scratched his scruffy head.

‘Yeah, I'm going to go to the flat first. Mum said to water the plants and that.'

He nodded and crawled back into bed. Ernie jumped out and I looked around for his lead. He stretched and pissed and shook then jumped back into the van. I stuck my head inside to call him and he was already curled up with Dad. Didn't need the lead after all.

At the flat later, I lay on my bed and listened to the radio. I thought about my English assignment for the holidays and next thing I knew I was elbow-deep in text-books at my desk. I fluffed around and screwed up pages with three lines on them until the nine o'clock news. I started writing.

Dear Kez,

I miss you already. My guts hurt and I don't need to go to the toilet. I've been thinking that it would have been easier if we never started hanging out. Easier but not better. I was thinking that I should get you a bunch of flowers but how stupid is that for someone who's shifting house? Then I thought chocolate but you'd probably have to share that with Den and I wanted it to be something just for you. So I got you this . . .

I LOVE YOU

You don't have to wear it all the time and if you eat it all at once it will definitely give you zits. Keep it with you for emergencies. See you.

Love Wayne

I almost screwed it up. I found an envelope in the pantry and folded the letter neatly and slipped it inside. I nearly put the whole thing in the bin. I stuck it in my pocket
and rode around to the Humes'. The truck had gone. The station wagon was loaded to the hilt and had a huge hire trailer on the back that looked like it normally had a Formula One racing car in it. All covered in stickers and shit. Gracie was stuffing some bed linen into the back seat of her little Honda. She looked a bit grey.

‘Hiya Wayne,' she said, and slumped against the side of the car. ‘I didn't know we had so much stuff.'

I laughed and put my bike against the fence.

‘What's happening to the house?' I asked.

‘We're going to leave it empty for the moment and if everything works out in Fishwood, we'll sell it or rent it out.'

I followed her up the steps to the porch. Gracie took a deep breath as we went inside. It was so clean. There were a few garbage bags on the floor in the lounge but everything else echoed with emptiness. Jesus the cat sat near the pile of bags with his tail slashing across the wooden floor and his eyes part closed. Poor bugger. I squatted next to him and patted him until he was purring and rubbing against my leg. Kerry snuck in and draped herself over my back. Kissed me on the neck and started purring as well. I stood up and we hugged properly. God, saying goodbye is hard. I needed to sit down but there weren't too many options. My throat got tight and I lifted Kez off the floor. Her back cracked and she groaned. Closer. Just a bit closer.

Barry appeared from the kitchen. ‘There he is,' he said sternly. ‘I'd like a word with you please, Wayne. In the kitchen. Now.'

I dropped Kez on her feet and scurried into the kitchen. My heart was racing as he closed the sliding door.

‘I don't know how to say this,' he grumbled. His face had no expression. ‘This is a difficult time for us all . . .'

I nodded and looked at my boot.

‘I don't need any hassles right now.'

I looked at him and his face broke into a smile. ‘Would you mow the lawns for us until we work out what we're doing?'

I couldn't hide my sigh of relief and he laughed.

‘Yeah. Sure,' I said, and my voice squeaked.

‘Good,' he said, and slapped my shoulder. ‘Now get back in there and finish your goodbyes. We'll be leaving soon. Well, sooner or later.'

He opened the sliding door and growled, ‘. . . so don't do it again. All right?'

‘Yes, Mr Hume. I won't do it again,' I said, and he kicked me in the arse. Kez would have been worried but Baz nearly ripped the door off its runners trying to stay upright after kicking me and we both burst out laughing.

‘I'd better get out of your way,' I said, and Kerry frowned.

‘Why don't you wait until we've gone?'

‘Oh, I've got a few other things to do. Mum told me to water the plants at the flat and the lawn needs mowing and that . . .'

‘Yeah, and we won't be living here in half an hour,' she said flatly.

There was a hole in our conversation that echoed like the empty lounge room.

‘I'll . . . I'll say goodbye to Den.'

He had the vacuum cleaner going on the carpet in his bedroom. Unfaded blocks of paint stared down from where his posters were last week.

‘Hi mate, bye mate,' I shouted.

He turned the vacuum cleaner off and dropped the hose so it clattered on top of the dying motor. He hugged
me. That was out of the blue. I looked around but it was just him and me. I patted his back and he hung on.

‘Hope it all works out all right and that,' I said, and he let me go.

‘Yeah. Me too.' He leant against the wall. ‘I suppose you'll come and visit every now and again?'

‘Yeah. I reckon. I want to come and check out the massive goldfish. And the sixty-four-bedroom house.'

He chuckled. ‘Seven.'

‘Right,' I said, and punched his arm. ‘See you.'

He nodded.

I walked out then darted back in and gave him the letter for Kez.

‘Can you give this letter to Kez when you get there? Just a soppy love letter . . .'

‘Where's mine?'

I laughed. ‘You know you're my best mate. Kerry has doubts.'

He nodded and stuck it in his pocket.

Chapter Twelve

I
DIDN'T CRY OR ANYTHING BUT THEM LEAVING KICKED THE
shit out of me for a few days. I did homework and zombied around. Watched the cartoons. I had all this time without Mum harassing me and I wasted it doing normal shit. I remembered to water the plants on Tuesday afternoon. One in the lounge was looking a bit suspect but the others were okay. Mum got home a couple of hours later. I hadn't brushed my teeth the whole time she was away. She came in the door, plonked her bag down and told me the flat was a pigsty. Yeah, I missed you too, Mum. Welcome back. I hid in my room and watched the TV while she unpacked. Ernie wanted to go out so I had to make an appearance later. Mum was at the sink. I grabbed a tea towel and dried cutlery. It's awkward but it's possible.

‘How did it go at the solicitors and that?'

She stared at the soapy water for a while then screwed up her nose. ‘Okay. Not a very nice job.'

‘How's Uncle Ted?'

‘He's all right.'

I grabbed another handful of wet silver. I can play the game, too. All you have to do is wait when the telly's not on. She'll eventually talk.

‘Don had quite a bit of money saved up and hadn't even touched his superannuation. He said in his will that he wanted us—me and Ted—to divide it up between us. There was one little surprise.'

‘Yeah?'

‘He left fifty thousand dollars to a woman we'd never heard of.'

I tried to look surprised. ‘Really? Fifty grand? Shoot.'

‘Yeah. Ted and I tracked her down. She and Don were in love. No doubt in my mind. She was a bit younger than me. Lovely. She didn't want to take the money but Ted told her it was what Donny wanted so she took it. The place was clean but fifty thousand would help her along a bit. For certain.'

‘What about his house? All his stuff?'

‘Ted and I are going up next month to have a big sale—like a garage sale—and then sell the house. That will be the hardest work of all, going through all his stuff.'

Does that mean they'll sell all the stuff in his garage too? Yeah, of course. Damn. There goes the lifetime supply of reading material. Some lucky punter will pick up the whole stack for three dollars.

‘Could I help with that?' I asked.

Mum looked at me. ‘Yes, Wayne. That would be lovely.'

There was hope yet.

We were watching
Sale
of the Century when Kez called. Mum answered it and she was chatting like it was one of the girls from work. I almost jumped down the phone when she said it was for me.

‘You made me cry, bastard,' she said instead of ‘Hello'.

‘Pardon?'

‘That note. I read it and I cried for a day.'

‘Sorry about that. That wasn't meant to happen.'

‘Yeah, right. It said that you love me.'

‘Yeah, I do.'

‘I've never heard you say it.'

I laughed. ‘I just did.'

‘No you didn't, you said “I do” not “I love you”.'

‘Cor, that's a big difference . . .'

‘It is . . .'

The phone ticked like a clock for a long time.

‘How is it up there?' I asked.

‘It's awesome, Wayne. The kangaroos come into our backyard and eat all the grass down so we never have to mow.'

‘Cool. Maybe I could get a few for your old place. Save having to mow there. What about school?'

‘What about it? We're on holidays like you.'

She asked about Ernie. She asked about Mum and the stay at the van. Not much had changed in the couple of days since they had left.

‘Uncle Don had a girlfriend.'

‘Don't tell her that, Wayne,' Mum spat.

‘He what?' Kez asked.

‘He had a girlfriend,' I whispered into the mouthpiece. ‘He left her fifty thousand dollars in his will.'

‘Fifty thousand?' she whispered.

‘You don't have to whisper,' I said.

‘Oh yeah. I've got to go. Tell me that you love me, please. I'm going crazy.'

‘I do.'

‘No! Say it!'

‘I can't,' I whispered. ‘Mum's got her big ears on tonight.'

‘So what if she hears?'

‘I . . . I don't want her to know.'

‘Der. That's a pretty limp excuse.'

‘See you, Kez.'

‘Yep,' she shouted, ‘see you, Wayne. I love you, Wayne. Bye-bye my love, see you.'

I laughed mostly to myself and hung up.

The phone rang again just before the next lot of ads. Mum answered it and handed it straight to me.

‘Hello?'

‘Hi Wayne.' It was Kez again.

‘Hi, how are you going now?'

‘Good, good. Sorry to ring you. I just wanted to know if you want to walk the dogs tomorrow?'

‘What?'

‘You don't have to if you don't want to.'

‘How?'

‘Um. You put a lead on them and . . . um you take them for a walk. I think Kelsey and Ernie like each other.'

Shit. It was Angie. My gut rattled and my brain got bumped into neutral. Took me a few seconds to grind it back into gear.

‘I don't . . . I'm not sure . . . I think that will be okay. Where to?'

‘I don't know. We could meet at the library if you want and think about it after that.'

‘Okay. That sounds fine. At the library. What time?'

‘I dunno,' she said. ‘How about eleven?'

‘Eleven in the morning?'

‘Um yeah. Not at night. Might be a bit cold.'

I laughed and it came out as a squeal. ‘Yeah. You're right.'

‘So you'll meet me at the library at eleven?' she asked.

‘Yep. That will be good,' I said.

‘Okay. See you there.'

‘Yeah. Okay. See you Kelsey . . . I mean Angie . . . that was Ernie talking.'

‘Bye,' she giggled and hung up.

The phone booped in my ear for a full minute before I hung up.

I got up at 7.52. I had a quick shower and nearly froze my armpits off with half a can of Lynx ‘Aztec'. I could still smell it when I jumped on my bike at ten o'clock to ride to the library. Maybe I overdid it a little. Ernie made up for it. He stunk like a yellow dog and together we balanced out. One can Lynx ‘Aztec' plus one smelly yellow dog equals no smell. I thought I was an hour early but Angie was already at the library. She was sitting there on one of the seats reading a book with her dog lying a few paces away. At the sight of us, Kelsey barked so her body shook. Ernie stopped in his tracks.

‘Hi!' Angie called. ‘You're early!'

‘Yeah, I thought I was. You're earlier than me.'

I dragged Ernie over. Kelsey didn't just wag her tail; she wagged her whole body. Ernie just shook.

I sat down next to Angie and let Ernie's rope go. He ran away a few paces and Kelsey gagged on her lead. Angie let her go. They had a sniff-off then ran. Then another sniff-off. Kelsey growled.

We watched them playing for a few minutes. I didn't know what to say.

Angie looked at me and smiled.

‘What are you reading?' I asked.

She showed me the cover, which had a blonde girl wrapped around her boyfriend's shoulders on it. He was wearing a leather jacket. She looked like a cheerleader.

‘It's called
The Never Mind Game
. It's about Daniel and Claire and falling in love. It's cool.'

Yeah, looks a bit like the stuff I like to read, too. Except Daniel and Claire don't usually have clothes on. Well, there's not much reading, plenty of pictures. I wondered what I was doing there.

‘Do you want to walk?' I asked.

‘Yeah. Okay. Where?'

I pointed across the park to Richardson Street. She shrugged and called Kelsey over. Ernie wouldn't come. I had to chase him down and stand on his lead. Sometimes, I think my dog has more brains than I do.

Ernie eventually settled and Kelsey just trotted along. Angie was quiet for a long time.

‘Where do you live?' she asked eventually.

‘Off Merrimans Creek Road,' I said, and nodded over my shoulder.

I felt like I was talking to a complete stranger. A complete stranger who thought I was hot. We started from scratch and talked about where we'd lived and our families and all that stuff. I think I gave her the impression that Mum and Dad were still living together. Hers weren't. She had two brothers that were both older than her. I told her I was an only child. We walked up to Beaufort Street and past the Humes' place. The
grass didn't need mowing. The grass didn't need mowing and I was going out with another girl. I didn't feel too good. We crossed the road and headed back towards the library. Angie decided to run and I remembered why I'd let this thing roll on as far as it had. She was gorgeous. Awesome model material. Beautiful to look at. She moved like a big cat and it made me growl.

I ran after her and gave her a solid hip and shoulder. ‘Oh, sorry.'

She laughed and pushed me back. Kelsey growled and nipped at Ernie. He pounced on her and grabbed a mouthful of the loose skin on her neck. You go, dog.

‘I thought you were at least twenty years old when I first saw you at the milk bar,' I said as we sat down in front of the library again.

‘Yeah, that happens a lot. I've been buying smokes since I was thirteen. I bought a bottle of Bundy once as a dare. I was fifteen.'

I believed it. Had me buggered what she would see in a one-handed varmint like me.

‘Sometimes it's not so crash-hot,' she said, sitting on her hands.

I looked at her.

‘I went to a party with Todd and Damien—my brothers—when they were supposed to be looking after me and this old bloke—maybe twenty-five or so—couldn't keep his hands off me. Pretty sick. Todd told him I was thirteen and the bloke went ape. He told Todd he was bull-shitting and dragged me onto his lap. Todd punched him in the head,' she said, and laughed.

I jotted that down in my mental notebook—Don't mess with Angie while her brothers are around.

‘One bloke last year came up and asked me if I wanted
to be a model. I laughed and that but he was serious. I told him I wanted to be a beauty technician. I still do. He said being a model pays better money and he asked me if I'd ever taken my clothes off in front of a camera. Sicko.'

Yeah. That was sick. Imagine Angie with no clothes on. Made me want to have a shower. She talked about her friends and her dog and her brothers but mostly she talked about herself. For two and a half hours I didn't open my mouth. I started getting hungry and I told her I had to go.

Crack!

Sounded like a gunshot coming from Beaufort Street. We both stood up to see a huge truck lumbering up the hill. One of those massive two-storey jobs they use to cart cows. It had a grey cable draped across the roof. The truck stopped. I realised the grey cable was attached to a power pole on one side of the street and had been ripped from the front of someone's house because of the height of the trailer. Whoops. It slid over the roof of the truck like a grey snake and landed in a spaghetti coil on the road. The driver looked left and right, then at the cable out of his window and kept driving. What a man. His face was bright red as he pulled past the library, bucked forward in his seat to survey the damage in his side mirror. The cable cracked again but not as loud as the first time and a bloke came out of the corner house. I grabbed Ernie's lead and Angie followed me over for a closer look. The bloke shouted for us to stay back when we got to the end of the road. Yeah right, mate. I'm going to waltz right over and put the cable on my tongue to see if it kicks like a new nine-volt battery. Fair dinkum.

‘There's Danielle,' Angie said, and started to cross the road.

I recognised Danielle, too. Who wouldn't? Her face is still pink and swollen from when it got burnt last year. I remembered her story. She had been cooking chips and had left the burner on. Luckily she'd gone into the kitchen a couple of hours later and had seen the smoke. Not so luckily, she hadn't known what happens when you put water into a pot of boiling oil. At school, they probably call her ‘you know, Danielle with the burnt face'. Well, Wayne—you know, Wayne with the one hand—tugged on the lead connected to his yellow dog and got the hell out of there.

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