Who Do I Run To? (27 page)

Chapter Thirty
-Three

“Home sweet home,” Janiece said when she put down her bags. She had come in a couple of hours ago, and Janelle picked her up from the airport.

“So when are you going to break up with
K.P.?” Janelle asked, going into her fridge to scope out something to snack on.

“Not you too?”

“What do you mean?”

“Isaiah asked me that a million times
, and I didn’t have an answer then, and I don’t have one now.”

“Well
, you are gonna have to come up with something real soon, little sister, because K.P.’s going to want to move you to Las Vegas soon, and if you don’t want him, you’re gonna have to tell him.”

“I know
, Nellie. Why y’all sweatin’ me?” she asked with attitude.

“Hey
, now, what’s your problem?”

“I’m sorry
, sissy, I’m just so confused. I mean, when I’m with K.P., I’m happy, and when I’m with Isaiah, I’m happy. K.P. has been in my heart since forever and Isaiah…he’s just so sweet and funny and sexy and, girl…” she said smiling and gazing in the air.

“But the bottom line
, Jai, is you can’t keep this up. You’re gonna be in a situation just like K.P. was, and you don’t want that headache, trust me,” she said and stuffed some chips in her mouth.

“I know
, Janelle, but I don’t know how to tell K.P. it’s over.”

“Oh
, so you chose Isaiah?” she said and took a swallow of her grape Crush.

“No
… I mean … I don’t know, and why are you eating so much?”

“Because the baby is hungry
, Janiece … do you think I’d be eating these chips like this was my last opportunity to eat if I wasn’t pregnant with this little greedy baby?”

“Al
l right now, you gon’ have more than baby pounds to drop if you keep it up.”

“I know,” she said and stuffed more
in. “I just can’t help it.”

“You better
. You gon’ have hips and an ass like mine otherwise,” she said, and they laughed.

“You need to leave me alone and worry about your own situation. I say when
K.P. comes back into town, you better tell him.”

“I know
, Nellie, I just don’t know how …” she said and took her suitcase into her room to unpack. Janelle hung around, and they talked for a while. Then she took her to the grocery store since she was carless. She got a few items and used the card K.P. had given to her. After she got home and settled in, Janelle left. As soon as she was about to take her shower, Isaiah called.

“Hey
, woman, why didn’t you call me when you got in?” he asked.

“Well
, my sister was here and we hung out for a while, and then I had to go to the grocery store, and I’m really just getting settled in,” she explained.

“Oh
, I thought you forgot about me.”

“No
, I can’t forget about you, boo,” she said and sat on the sofa.

“I was gon’ say
…,” he said, happy to hear her voice.

“So what’s going on?”

“Nothing too much, just missing you already,” he said, and she blushed.

“I’m missing you too.”

“I can’t wait to see you again,” he said.

“I know
,” she replied, then her other line rang. It was K.P.. “Listen, I gotta give you a callback.”

“
K.P., right?” he asked in a disappointed tone.

“Yes
, I’ll call you right back, I promise,” she said, and he just hung up.

“Hello,” she said answering the other line.

“Hey, baby, I see you’ve made it home.”

“Yes
, Janelle just left about ten minutes ago.”

“So how is my favorite girl?”

“I thought Kayla was your favorite girl.”

“She is, but you are my favorite adult girl,” he said
with a smile in his voice.

“So how
’s Vegas?”

“Vegas is Vegas
. It would have been better if you would have been by my side for my grand opening.”

“I know
, K.P., but you know I have responsibilities too.”

“I know, I know, but I didn’t think you’d go on a trip for a training course for a job you would be quitting.”

“Well, K.P., I haven’t made a decision yet on exactly what I’ll be doing. That’s why I went.”

“So are you saying that you
’re thinking of not coming to Vegas with me?”

“No
, K.P., I haven’t decided yet, okay? I’m still debating if I’m ready, you know?”

“Janiece
, it’s not hard. Either you want to be with me or you don’t.”

“I wanna be with you
, K.P., but you went and planned out this life in Las Vegas without asking me. You went and did all of these things without asking me how I felt or what I wanted to do, so now, I’m not sure, not that I don’t wanna be with you.”

“Jai, you
’ve said a million times that you wanted us to move out here and start our lives together,” he said speaking the truth.

“Yes
, I know, K.P., but never in a million years did I think you’d take it to heart and make that happen. I wish you would have just let me in on your plans so I could have said something, you know? Up and leaving wasn’t how I planned it to be for me, and now Janelle is having a baby and I just don’t know.”

“Well
, Jai, you are gonna have to make some decisions because my business is open now, and I am gon’ have to be out here the majority of the time. I want you here with me. I want to share my life with you.”

“I know
, baby, and I wanna share my life with you, but I need some time,” she said, and K.P. didn’t want to hear those words. He wanted her to say that she would be there as soon as he could make arrangements to move her.

“Listen
, Jai, I understand all of that, but if you want me like I want you, I don’t see what’s so hard,” he said frustrated.

“I do love you
, K.P., and I want to be with you, but Vegas, baby? I just didn’t know we would be moving to Vegas. I mean, I love Chicago. My sister is here, and Nellie is my only family.”

“And when we get married
, I’ll be your family,” he said, and Janiece’s stomach got an aching feeling. She thought about Isaiah when he said “married.” No way could she marry K.P. without cutting Isaiah completely off.

“Baby
, please, let’s just talk about this when you get back,” she said, and she wondered when he was actually coming back to Chicago. “When are you returning?”

“Well
, right now, I’m not too sure, because I have to get some things in order with Paxton Mortgages. I can’t come home right now. I have a lot of work to do. I was hoping you’d come out here with me for a few weeks.”

“
K.P., you know I can’t take off work for that long.”

“I know
, Jai, so why don’t you just quit?”

“I can’t just quit
, K.P.. I haven’t made up my mind if I’m actually leaving yet, and I can’t quit my job.”

“Something tells me
, Jai, that you are not trying to be with me. Am I right?”

“No
, K.P., I never said that. I just said I need some time. Can you give me that? Moving is a big step, and again, in case you have forgotten, you’re still married. I’m not your wife, K.P..”

“No
, Jai, I haven’t forgotten. You seem to keep on reminding me.”

“I remind you because it
’s true. I would rather be your wife before I give up my life and moved to another city.”

“Oh
, so it’s like that, huh? I thought you loved me, Jai, and wanted to be with me? Why now you decide to have all of these conditions? I know you, and you know all I want is to be with you, and now you want to play me?”

“No
… K.P., what are you talking about? All I’m saying is I don’t feel comfortable with quitting my job and packing up to move to another state with a man that isn’t divorced yet. These are things that I’m thinking about.”

“Okay
, Janiece, fine. Since you need time, take your time. You know the number,” he said and hung up.

Janiece sat there and contemplated w
hether she should call him back, but she decided not to. She waited a few moments and called Isaiah back, and when she did, he gave her attitude. She didn’t talk to him too long because he was so short and aggravated with her, and she didn’t want to deal with him either.

She let him go
, got into the shower and got into her bed and set her alarm for the next morning. She lay there and wondered what she was going to do. She loved K.P., but she wanted Isaiah. She didn’t want to hurt K.P., but the more she contemplated on her life, she saw herself being with Isaiah and not K.P..

Chapter Thirty
-Four

It was holiday break for K.P.’s children, and K.P. was in town. He had been with Janiece and his kids, going back and forth, because Kimberly was refusing to let them go anywhere with him in fear of having them around Janiece. Janiece didn’t care one bit because she knew how Kimberly was feeling inside, and she didn’t blame her for hating her so much.

K.P.
was just about done with moving to Vegas, except he didn’t have Janiece. She kept avoiding the moving conversation and would always make up an excuse for pushing her moving date back. She was totally astounded at herself that she was no longer interested in living with K.P. for the rest of her life. Things were different now, and she didn’t want what he had to offer her anymore.

Because s
he talked to Isaiah at least ten times a day, she had to change her cell phone plan, and add unlimited text because between him and K.P. living out of state, her phone was her only connection to them. She couldn’t figure it out, but she knew that she and K.P. didn’t have a future together. She just couldn’t bring herself to tell him that it was over.

Instead
, she walked around faking the funk like it was all good. She missed Isaiah and wanted his time to be up so he could come back to Chicago and for them to be together. She was so high at the thought of him, and she often dreamt about them and their brief time together. She had to catch herself sometimes to keep from calling K.P. Isaiah.

There were moments that she sat in silence and t
uned out everything K.P. would say to her because she was too busy thinking about Isaiah, like at that moment.

“Do you want this?”
K.P. asked her for the second time, trying to hand her a glass of wine.

“Huh
? What?” she said turning her attention to him. He stood over her with a glass of Chardonnay with his arm extended.

“Do you still want this?” he asked her again.

“Oh yes, thank you,” she said and took the glass.

“What’s really going on
, Jai?” he asked, taking a seat beside her.

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. I’ve been asking you for weeks about coming to Vegas, and all you do is put me off. I try to talk to you about moving, but you evade the subject. Now I need to know, Janiece, what is going on?”

“Nothing
, baby, nothing. I just … you know … since my sister is pregnant. I just … kinda … don’t know if I should just up and leave.”

“Jai
, we’ve talked about this. We have our lives to live. Janelle is a grown woman, with a husband that will be here for her and their child. This is us. Why are you not considering what’s best for us?”

“I dunno
, K.P., maybe what I thought was best for us isn’t what’s best for me,” she finally said.

“What?” he said and stood up. “What the hell does that mean
, Jai? Forever and a day you’ve wanted this. You’ve said over and over again how you wanted us to start over, and now we have that opportunity and you want to back out?”

“No
, K.P., I’m not backing out. It’s just things are different now.”

“How
, Jai? Tell me how. I love you. That didn’t change. The only thing that changed is that I finally left my wife and took a leap of faith and started my own business. I’ve been living in a hotel, Jai, because I’ve been waiting on you to finally clear your busy schedule to come down and at least find a house, and now you trying to tell me some bullshit about your sister,” he said angrily.

“No
, K.P., please, you don’t understand. I love you. I loved you for so long and now things … you and I … things are … just different,” she hesitated to say and turned away.

“Jai
, tell me this, and I want you to be honest. Are you coming to Las Vegas?” he asked and stood there waiting for her to answer. After a few moments of silence he walked away. He didn’t want to face it, but he knew that she wasn’t.

The excited Janiece
that he expected wasn’t who he was looking at. He thought for sure she’d be on the first plane to Vegas, but she didn’t seem happy or excited about the thought, and the way she didn’t respond told him that there was more to it than what she was saying.

“I’ll be back to get the rest of my things,” he told her as he went into the closet to get his coat.

“K.P., where are you going? What do you mean?” she asked, scared that it was over. She wanted Isaiah, yes, but her future with K.P. was standing in front of her face. She had no clue if she and Isaiah had a future together, and she didn’t want K.P. to walk out on her.

“You know what the hell I mean. I have a life and a dream to pursue
, and if you don’t want to be a part of that, fine. I can’t wait forever for you.”

“Oh
, so you gon’ just walk out. I’ve waited for you and waited for you, K.P.. For over five years I’ve waited for you, and now you just gon’ walk out on me like I’m not worth the time. That goes to show how much you really love me,” she spat, and he turned to her and wanted to slap her.

“You know what
, Janiece? You’re right. You were my mistress for five years, and you knew what you had when you continued to let me come around here. So don’t give me that bullshit about you waiting, because even if I wouldn’t have left Kimberly, you’d still be my mistress,” he said and that stung. The truth hurts, and Janiece was feeling her truth this time.

“Just know this, the reason I did any of what I did is because I wanted to show you how much I really do love you
, and I see things have changed. Now I don’t know when you stopped loving me, but for the last few months, Janiece, I see that you’ve changed. You are not the same woman that you used to be. I feel it, and I see it. You act like I can’t touch you, so you don’t have to say it. I know, so do your thang and I wish you the best,” he said and walked away.

Janiece was relieved in a way, but she was not sure if she was really ready to give
K.P. up. She had loved him for so long, and she was really confused. She cared for Isaiah, yes, but would he be the man she wanted him to be? In spite of it all, K.P. did love her, and in her heart she knew that.

“
K.P., wait, baby, please,” she said, and he turned to her.

“Wait for what
, Jai!” he yelled. She stood there and couldn’t come up with anything.

“
K.P., I love you, I do,” she tried to say.

“Yeah, I’ll be by before I leave for Vegas to get the rest of my stuff,” he said
, and it made her angry that he was leaving. She wasn’t ready for this reality check. The truth had come, and she wasn’t ready to own up to it.

“So what you gon’ do now
? Run back to Kimberly!” she yelled behind him.

“You know something
, Jai, as much as I love you and wanted us to be together I regret one thing,” he said and walked closer to her. “And you know what that is?” he asked but didn’t allow her to answer. “I regret setting up my future in a different state, away from my kids. I know that I’ll end up getting custody of them, but I live more than a phone call away from my kids right now because of my love and sacrifices for you, so if you think that I am just gon’ run back to Kimberly because you changed your mind about us, so be it. Think whatever you want to think,” he said and walked out the door.

He got downstairs to his rental car and fought the tears. His heart was broken
, and he couldn’t believe that Janiece would change on him. He cranked the engine and pulled out, and she watched him from the kitchen window. When he turned out of the parking lot, she began to cry.

What had she done? Did she make the right decision? Was she really ready to give him up? She went into her bedroom and sat on the bed and the pain hit her. It was over. She had just let him walk out. How would she be able to be with
K.P. if she didn’t move to Nevada?

If she were to do that
, that meant she’d never see Isaiah again, and she didn’t want that to be an option. No matter what she and K.P. had together, she had managed to fall in love with Isaiah, and it hurt her that she hurt K.P., but she wanted to be with one man, and the sad reality was that man was not K.P..

She grabbed her pillow and sobbed in it
’til her head was hurting. Moments later, she got up and went into the kitchen and took an aspirin. Then she made sure her door was locked and the alarm was set. She turned out all the lights and went into her room and dressed for bed. She tried calling K.P., not knowing what she’d say, and she was a bit relieved when he didn’t answer her call.

The next morning she got up and tried calling him again, but he
still didn’t answer. She decided not to leave him a message. She called her sister and told her what happened, and Janelle told her that she was proud of her for doing what she knew in her heart was right.

The next couple of days dragged
, and she still hadn’t heard from K.P.. She called him several times, but nothing. She decided to stop calling and wait for him to call her. She knew he’d be in town until after the New Year, and if he wanted the rest of his things, he’d call sooner or later.