Who Knows the Dark (13 page)

Shaking, Cade aimed his angry steps in the direction of the barn. He could throw that shit at his father, but in the end, Cade wasn’t going to end up with much himself.

“Caden!”

He disappeared into the inky shadows of the outbuildings, a child’s sense memory of the corner of the barn’s loft where he would escape when being
Caden Lee Creel
became too much.

“Stop walkin’—I want to talk to you,” Lee snapped from somewhere behind him.

A few feet from the side door, Cade skidded to a halt, dirt and tiny rocks kicking up under his boots. His breathing shook and rumbled as his emotional state became seriously compromised. It was anger and fear and shame and a million other things that seemed to bang off each other with increasing fury until all he had was clenched fists and nowhere to go.

“You don’t speak to me like that,” his father said.

Cade didn’t turn around, nails biting into his palms.

“I know we don’t get along, but this isn’t me punishing you for breaking curfew or cutting school.” Lee came closer; Cade could hear his breathing.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Cade muttered. “I didn’t. I could have walked away, but I thought I could help….”

His father’s hand came down onto Cade’s shoulder; he jumped, his stomach twisting with the memory of Billy’s touch.

“You need to tell me the whole story.”

T
HERE
WAS
a stone bench near his mother’s flower and vegetable beds; they settled into the cold shadows, the space between them generous. Cade stared at his boots, just enough light from the house reaching them and giving some relief from the darkness.

He started with the letter, rambling on through the Byzantine roads of their journey over the past few weeks. Lee said nothing during Cade’s monologue, didn’t even make a disapproving grunt. The only thing that Cade tried to leave out was Billy—but the void of that incident seemed to overtake his narrative. He felt the hole, the weight of it under his skin.

“When you found that man dead, what did you do?” Lee asked, and Cade swallowed the sick lump in his throat.

“I… I got out. I uh… I got out.”

His voice shook, a cough sputtering from the bile burning his throat.

“Caden”—and really, it was his father’s shockingly gentle tone that pushed the words from his mouth.

“I killed him,” he whispered. “I hit him until he let go of me.”

His father sighed as Cade folded in on himself. The release of words dizzied him—like gravity shifted under his feet.

There was no comforting touch, no hug like a movie father might do. Lee tapped his foot against the ground, a quiet huff to his breathing.

“Anyone else know that?”

“No.” Cade rubbed his face with both hands, shivering a little bit.

“Not even your….” He paused. “Boyfriend.”

Cade laughed into his palms. “No, not even him.”

Lee grunted. “I been reading about the explosion. The whole place came down, which means even if they find the body, they aren’t gonna be able to tell what happened.”

And then it dawned on Cade what his father was trying to get at.

“Oh God, Dad.” Cade dropped his hands in his lap. “I’m not scared they’re going to arrest me. Not for that anyway.”

“Those feds said you were a witness.”

“And the word back in the District is that I’m an accomplice.” Cade sighed as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Somebody’s lying.”

“So you leave—where you gonna go?”

“What the hell do you care? Didn’t you practically kick me out two nights ago?” Cade’s annoyance was rising again.

The butt of Lee’s gun knocked against his boot. “Someone’s gotta keep things together, Caden.”

“Momma said you’ve been drinking, and she kicked you out—try again.”

Lee stood up abruptly at that, the shotgun swinging dangerously before finding purchase on his shoulder again. “I left because I knew I had to get straight with myself. Doesn’t mean I don’t love your mother. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean I stopped being head of this family.”

“Yes, sir,” Cade answered, giving his father a halfhearted salute.

The peaceable mood between them snapped and broke; Cade could feel his back going up, the distance widening, with each of them on the opposite side of the valley, not quite able to see the other.

“I’m gonna take another walk around the property,” Lee said, his voice cool. “You get yourself inside.”

Without another word, he turned and walked away.

N
OX
FINISHED
writing down all the information for LJ, avoiding the looks Rachel was shooting him over LJ’s head. Accessing Boyet money was a risk, but it was a chance he’d take—money to send Sam somewhere safe, money to make sure Cade got something out of all this. Maybe enough to keep the farm afloat a bit longer.

Money to fund his way back to the District and find the people manipulating his life like unseen puppet masters.

Poetic justice.

“Anything else?” he asked, dropping the pencil on the desk.

“Nope.” LJ picked up the pad, looking it over. “Gonna take me a while—might as well go find my brother and apologize for being a dick boyfriend.”

Nox’s spine stiffened; he set his face into something stern, only to see Rachel break into a grin.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Cade and I are just….” Nox started the sentence with a full intention of setting the record straight. Except he wasn’t sure he knew what that meant. “Cade and I are fine.”

LJ didn’t look up from the screen that held his full concentration, but his smirk matched Cade’s perfectly. “Uh-huh.”

“Go. I’ll help Mr. Creel with any information he needs,” Rachel said sweetly. She pointed helpfully at the door.

Nox wanted to argue, but staying around Rachel for long periods of time made him crazy, and beyond that, if Cade was angry with him, well, he’d like to work out why. If they only had a few days left….

An awkward emotion tunneled up through Nox’s chest; for all his logical decision-making, the part that related directly to Cade was the hardest to reconcile. He wanted to go back to New York. He wanted to keep Sam safe. He wanted—Cade.

“Fine,” he mumbled. “Let me know when it’s done.”

He headed for the door, well aware of Rachel’s amused stare following him.

O
UTSIDE
,
THE
cool night air smelled like nothing Nox had ever known—fresh and clean, completely devoid of the faint stench of decay he’d lived with for so long. The sky was vast overhead, tiny twinkling dots of light spread out as far as he could see. Maybe when this was all done—if he was still alive—he’d make a home for him and Sam somewhere like this.

The ground crunched under his feet as he paused on the tiny stone walkway.

Sam. The more he thought about taking him somewhere else, the more he realized how much Sam didn’t want to go. He could pretend all he wanted that Sam was still a child, still beholden and devoted only to him, but that was a lie.

He’d be eighteen soon.

There was no mistaking the way he and Mason looked at each other.

What if he told Sam it was time to go and Sam chose Mason?

“You got your new identity yet?” a voice asked. Nox turned around slowly to find Cade a few feet away, slumped on a stone bench.

“Your brother’s working on it.” He kept his tone neutral, well aware of his hammering heart and the irritated look on Cade’s face. “You’re going to need one as well for when—”

“Right. For when you fuck off to parts unknown and leave me behind. Got it,” Cade spat.

Nox’s breath caught. “Are you sure you want to come with me?” he asked. He gazed at every shadow to avoid looking at Cade. “It’s dangerous.”

“Mmm, right. So dangerous you’re dragging along a seventeen-year-old kid,” Cade scoffed, walking slowly into the weak spill of light from the guesthouse. “Just admit you don’t want me along.”

“I’m going to take Sam somewhere safe. And it’s not a matter of wanting.” Nox’s defenses began to ramp up, arming with ammunition. “It’s what makes the most sense.”

“Up until a few days ago, you ran around the city stabbing drug dealers—and now you’re talking about making sense?”

“I did what I had to do.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know anything about that.” Cade kicked a clump of dirt so hard it sprayed over Nox’s boots. “Fuck you.”

Anger boiled up; Nox could feel his face heating, a sour taste filling his mouth. “I appreciate your help. I couldn’t have done this without you,” Nox said, his voice measured and even. “But as far as the future goes, I have to look out for my son and myself. I don’t want to mess up anyone else’s life.”

“And what are you going to do when he tells you he wants to be on his own?” Cade’s anger seemed to fade. When he came into full view, Nox almost needed to look away. Because suddenly all those moments when he thought
I cannot resist this man
, returned with a rush like a tidal wave crashing into him.

“Sam and I—we are all that’s left of my family,” Nox murmured, unable to turn away from Cade’s imploring gaze. “We have no one else in the world….”

“That’s not true.”

“Mason is just—it’s a crush, okay? That’s all.” Nox tried to sound convincing, tried to convince himself. “Sam will see that.”

“And what about you?” Cade closed the distance between them until Nox could feel the heat radiating from his body, tendrils of desire snaking their way under his clothes and into his blood stream.

“What about me?” he asked in a whisper. The pull of Cade’s steady gaze locked him in place.

“You’re not alone, in case you haven’t noticed.”

Nox wasn’t sure if he moved first, or if it was just inevitable that he lean down, tilt his head, and find Cade’s lush and searching mouth with his own.

Just like the first time, Nox convinced himself a taste would satisfy the urge—if he stole a tiny moment, he could wrestle himself away permanently, he could walk in the other direction with his thirst quenched. But Cade twisted against him, hot and dirty, teasing his tongue as he rubbed his hands down Nox’s back. When he brushed over the gun tucked at his waist, Nox tried to push Cade away, but it only seemed to inflame them both, locking their bodies together even tighter.

The wet sound of their kisses obliterated everything else; Nox imagined eyes on them, danger around every corner, but it didn’t stop him from sucking on Cade’s bottom lip or letting his palms drag down to rub against his ass.

Cade pulled away first, a tiny moan escaping as he stumbled backward. Nox reached to drag him back, but Cade had other plans. He caught Nox’s hand and yanked him into the shadows.

They tripped and stumbled around the corner, Nox trusting his night vision and Cade’s familiarity; there was purpose to this, he could feel it, and it made perfect sense when the smaller of the two barns loomed over them a second later.

Cade fiddled with a side door for a moment; Nox crowded him from behind, unable to keep his hands from Cade’s body. He molded himself against Cade’s back, pressing and rubbing his hips against the curve of his ass.

“Stop, I have to get this open,” Cade murmured, pushing back in his own hungry rhythm.

Nox couldn’t suppress the nasty chuckle that welled up inside him. He ran his palms over the front of Cade’s jacket, then dipped down until he could cup and tease at his erection straining against the zipper of his jeans.

“Fuck, stop.” Cade’s protestations were weak. He stopped trying to open the door, bracing himself on both hands against the wood, open to Nox’s probing fingers.

It didn’t matter someone might find them. It didn’t matter that anyone could walk over here. The only thing that Nox’s lust-addled mind could process was the loud sound of the zipper in the darkness, the raspy breath Cade took when Nox slipped his hand into the open V of Cade’s jeans. The heated weight of Cade’s cock against his palm as he tightened his fingers into a fist and began to stroke.

Nox buried his face against the back of Cade’s jacket, held him around the chest, and rubbed his erection against Cade’s ass with a breathless urgency. He could smell the desire, feel the tiny pearls of moisture as he cupped the head of Cade’s dick. It spurred on the demanding rub of his hips, the way he panted in his lover’s ear. He wanted to push Cade to the ground and tear away the clothing barriers. He wanted to open him up with his mouth and fingers and taste and….

Cade stiffened in his arms, a second’s warning before he thrashed out his orgasm—wild in Nox’s arms before Nox’s hand was wet with come. Nox held on, absorbing every bump and grind, stroking through the mess in his hand until Cade was moaning, his body limp.

“Let me…,” Cade murmured, but Nox didn’t stop any of his movements; he jerked his fist and pushed the pounding of his hips to an uncomfortable burn of zipper against his painfully hard dick. Nox didn’t come until Cade was almost crying with stimulation, and then he spilled in his pants so violently his legs felt weak.

A
FTER
SO
much sleep, Sam found himself up early and unable to relax. A few feet away, Mason lay on the rollaway bed, curved in an S because the thing was about two feet too small for his lanky frame. Mrs. Creel had seemed amused—but insistent—when she showed up with it, and it wasn’t hard to figure out his father was behind the change in sleeping arrangements.

Sam was just grateful Mason still got to stay in the same room as him.

Rolling over, Sam watched Mason sleep, excusing how creepy it might be. He was looking, and there was nothing wrong with that. In fact he was fully aware how many times Mason did the same thing, thinking Sam was completely out.

Maybe—just maybe—he faked sleep now and again, to bask in the warmth of knowing Mason wanted to stare.

Mason. Wanted. To. Stare. At. Him.