Whos Loving You (23 page)

W
hat I learned was we listen to the words people speak, but it was more important to hear what they were not saying. Knowing my mother had never stopped loving me allowed me to drop my guard. Yes, I’d been hurt. Yes, I’d been molested. Yes, I’d run away from my pain.

I’d buried those feelings inside so deep, no one had heard my cries. Never again. Tiffany Davis was ready to face her fears.

Arriving at my mother’s house, I parked in front and stared at the
FOR SALE
sign. This was the house I’d lived in for sixteen years. The house where bad things had happened to me. But on the other side of that front door, the door I sat staring at, lived a woman. A woman who gave birth to me. A woman who had never stopped searching for me. A woman who had always loved me.

I powered off my cell phone and placed it in my glove compartment. Then I took a deep breath. I got out of my car. I stood tall. I squared my shoulders. I walked up to the front door. And I rang the doorbell.

When the door opened wide, there she was. We swapped tears of joy, and tears of sorrow for so many years lost. Tears of cleansing washed me, washed us.

“Mommy, I love you.”

“Oh, baby, you just don’t know. I prayed every night that you were safe. Cried every day as I passed out flyers. I love you, Tiffany. I’m so sorry for what happened to you.”

Click!

My body tensed. My feet froze. My mother had closed and locked the door. That sound haunted me. I had to ask, “Where is he?”

“Come on in, baby. You don’t have to worry about him ever again. Alphonso is gone, out of our lives, forever. If you want to press charges—”

I interrupted my mother. “Let’s not talk about any of that right now. I’ll deal with Alphonso later. I want to talk with you. Did he hurt you after Honey left?”

My mother chuckled. “Nah, I beat his ass so bad, he thought I was possessed. He couldn’t get out of here fast enough.”

“Good job, Mom. That sounds like what I would’ve done,” I lied. If I had a daughter, I would kill any man who thought about molesting or raping her. Oh, another reason why I shouldn’t have kids. “Did you ever suspect anything?” I asked, looking in my mother’s eyes. “Can we please stay in the living room? I can’t go back to my bedroom, ever.”

Sitting on the sofa, beside me, my mother rocked me in her arms. I felt like her little girl again. She began to cry. “I didn’t want to believe that he’d do that to you. I didn’t want to believe you ran away because he’d raped you.” My mother’s voice grew more intense. “That was my husband, and I never wanted to believe the man I had let move into our house, the man I had walked down the aisle with, the man I had exchanged vows with would rape my daughter!” She exhaled. “I didn’t want to believe that I was stupid enough to make that big of a mistake and, worst of all, that I’d failed as a mother. My God, you’re my only child, Tiffany. You’re my baby.”

I cried the entire time we talked. I wanted to scream at my mother, “I hate you!” But I didn’t hate her. I hated what she’d allowed to happen to me. I hated that she hadn’t protected me. I hated that she hadn’t loved herself more than she’d loved her husband. And that she hadn’t loved me enough to confront him. But no matter how much I was hurting inside, I could never hate my mother.

“Mommy, I love you. I gotta go for a while. Clear my mind. I’ll be back to see you, but I can’t help you pack. Here’s five grand. I want you to hire a mover to dispose of everything in this house except pictures and videos. I’ll buy you all new stuff and a new house. I’ve got a few things to handle.”

“You want me to go with you?” my mother asked, following me to the door.

“No, you’re safer here. I promise. I’ll be back.”

Being in the house had resurrected my anger for pimps and rapists. I was headed to Alphonso’s job, and he was either going to turn himself in or end up with a bullet in his dick.

“Valentino,” I mumbled. Where was he? He’d been too quiet. Hadn’t heard anything regarding his whereabouts since I’d picked up the check from Summer. “Maybe I should visit them. Yeah, I’d better track Valentino and Benito down and handle those two before they sneaked up on me,” I said aloud.

I got in my car, revved up my engine, check my gun, and powered on my cell phone. Twenty-six missed messages from…Honey? “Aw shit! What happened?” I yelled.

I listened to my voice mail. In one message, Honey said, “Sapphire, I’ve been kidnapped from my Atlanta home. I’m in the back of an SUV,” she whispered. “I have no idea where they’re taking me. I need you to take care of my girls. I’m going to get out of this alive, but I need your help. Please don’t call me back. Wait until I call you again.”

Alphonso Allen, that lucky bastard. He’d get to have his freedom for another few days, but I’d be back to kill him personally. I drove to LAX, parked in the daily parking lot, and got on the first direct flight to Atlanta.

I guess being a cop was in my blood. Anybody who fucked with my family fucked with me. And Honey was now my family.

D
riving back and forth on the 85, with Honey in the trunk, I looked over at Benito, who was digging in his shitty ass. That nigga tried to act like he had leverage ’cause his cell phone had service and my shit was now terminated. Same fuckin’ difference. Service or no service, that nigga’s battery was dead, and I wasn’t buying him no charger. Summer was wrong for leaving me out here like this.

I stopped off at a Wal-Mart to get one of those prepaid phones. Benito hopped out of the car and walked bowlegged and shit. “That’s what you get for talking ’bout what you don’t do, nigga,” I said.

“You wrong, V. I’m supposed to be your boy, not your bitch,” Benito, said tugging at his pants.

We started laughing. I could never fuck Benito. Yeah, he was different. He was annoying at times. But that nigga would do anything for me. “Cut that shit out. Walk straight.” Entering the store, I asked him, “Nigga, did you remember to poke a hole in the plastic bag so that bitch won’t die in the trunk?”

“Yeah, man. I took care of my business. You gon’ get me a phone, too. I need to call my mama.”

I swear I wanted to slap his ass. I hurried up and paid for two phones with one hundred minutes. I might have to send that nigga home early if he fucked up.

Driving to an abandoned lot, I powered on my phone and dialed information. “Atlanta, Georgia. Sweeter Than Honey,” I said and asked to be connected.

“What’s sweeter than honey and more valuable than money?” said a female voice.

“Who is this?” I asked. Her voice sounded familiar.

“Who is this?” she asked, with attitude.

“Bitch, don’t fuck with me. Who the fuck are you?”

“Oh, my, God. Valentino? How long have you been out? Does Honey know?”

“I been out long enough to have kidnapped Lace, Honey, whatever the fuck she calls herself. Listen up and listen righteous, because I’m only going to say this one time. I want my fifty million dollars delivered to me in cash by tomorrow night, or this bitch is dead, and all of your asses are next. You can’t run. You can’t hide from me. I’m going to kill you first, then the rest of my bitches, you hear me! Y’all are my bitches! But I’ma kill every last one of you, one at a time, until somebody gives me all of my fuckin’ money!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said calmly. “I can get you as much as I can before the bank closes today, but Honey is the only one who has direct access to her account. Where is she? How do I know you’re serious? For all I know, you could be calling on a three-way from prison.”

“I got your prison, bitch! Hold the fuck on,” I said.

Looking at Benito, I said, “Here. Take my gun. Get that bitch out of the trunk. If she tries anything funny, shoot her ass.”

The minute I said that shit, I got out of the car, too. Benito’s dumb ass was guaranteed to fuck something up. I walked around to the back of the SUV with Benito. He raised the hatch. Staring down the barrel of that bitch’s gun, I dropped the phone. Why the fuck had I given Benito’s stupid ass my piece?

Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

O
neness in love was key. Oneness in love was the key. When I looked at Honey, I saw a perfect imperfect being. I saw her shadow in my reflection. Our journeys differed along the same path. We saw things through our minds’ eyes. We felt with our hearts. We touched with our words. We sung with our eyes. We cried with our souls.

When all else failed, and the world around us crumbled, we drifted apart, but love sustained us. If I had no money, no place to live, no shoes on my feet, no food to eat, no place to go, no mother, father, or ignorant adopted brother, if none of the people I loved were around me, and if I had one last breath to take, it wouldn’t matter as long as I had Honey. I’d exhale my last breath with everlasting love for her.

I sat in my car, in my parents’ driveway, watching my father wave to me. “Son, you been out there too long. Come in,” he called. “Your mother and I want to know where you’ve been the last few days.”

I smiled, but not from my aching heart. “Give me a minute. I have to respond to a few e-mails,” I lied.

I dialed Honey’s phone for the tenth time. It went straight to voice mail. Maybe I’d delayed responding to her too long. Maybe she really was done with me. But I wasn’t done with loving her.

I texted her again.
Baby.

There was no reply.

Exhaling, I dialed her office number. I didn’t want to disturb her at work, but her silence was driving me crazy.

She answered, “What’s sweeter than honey and more valuable than money?”

“Baby,” I whispered into the receiver.

“Yes?” she answered.

“Baby.” I exhaled a sigh of relief.

“Yes?”

I didn’t want to put it off another second. I was tired of playing games. Honey was right. We did have an emotional relationship. I was ready to acknowledge all my love for her. I asked her, “Will you marry me?”

“Who is this?”

“Well, I guess you have so many men proposing to you, you don’t recognize my voice. Has it been that long?”

“Grant?”

“Yes,” I responded. “Of course. Who else?”

“You sitting down?”

I was so caught up, I was listening more to myself. Suddenly, I realized I wasn’t speaking to Honey at all. I said, “Yes. Why?”

“This isn’t Honey. This is Onyx.”

“Well, I figured as much by now. What’s up? Honey isn’t speaking to me. You’re her messenger now?”

“Grant, Honey might be dead.”

“What the hell! Is this some sorta sick-ass joke she’s playing?”

“No, I’m serious. Someone kidnapped her from the house. They called, demanding fifty million dollars. When I asked to speak with her, all I heard was four gunshots.” Onyx started crying really loud.

“Onyx, calm down. I’m on my way right now.”

The phone slipped from my hand. Benito’s voice replayed in my head.
You’d better pray Lace doesn’t have my money or she’s one dead bitch.
I hadn’t taken him seriously. No one had.

“Fuck! I should’ve told her,” I yelled.

This was one situation my dad could not talk me out off. I backed out of the driveway and headed straight to Reagan National Airport. I’d never killed a man before, but I swore that if Benito had killed my sweet Honey, brother or no brother, I’d have his blood on my hands.

“M
ommy, stop it! Stop tickling me! Mommy, you’re not playing fair!” Ronnie screamed with laughter.

Not having to worry about money for a while felt good. I’d set aside sixty thousand dollars to develop and implement my business plan. Never again would I work for a man. And I might not get another penny from Alphonso, but getting such a large lump sum made all of us happy.

“Okay. I’ll stop,” I said. I hugged my son tightly, then smothered his face with kisses.

“Ooh! That’s enough sugar, Mommy,” he said, wiping his cheeks. “Let’s go visit Grandma. I want to give her her surprise.” Ronnie pulled me to our front door.

Opening the door, I looked to my left. No one was there. I glanced to the right and saw Mrs. Taylor.

“Hey, Red. You can come on out,” Mrs. Taylor said. “That sure was a nice thing you must’ve done for that woman that she brought you all them beautiful roses.”

I had had no idea what Tolliver’s wife was going to do. She could’ve tried to beat me over the head with the one hundred roses she’d personally delivered. That wouldn’t have been a good thing for her, ’cause I would’ve beaten every single thorn into her ass.

“Yeah, it was,” I agreed.

I couldn’t imagine what spending one hour in jail felt like, but I was sure Tolliver’s wife saw her marriage differently.

Ronnie was so excited, he was in my mother’s house before I locked my front door. I walked into my mom’s kitchen, and I gave her a hug.

“Calm down, baby. What’s all the commotion about?” Mama said to Ronnie. “Velvet, what’s gotten into him?”

“Mommy, can I tell Grandma pleeaaaassssee? Can I tell her?” said Ronnie.

“Tell me what, child? Spit it out before you bust,” demanded Mama.

“Mommy’s going to Hollywood! She got the part in the movie! And…she’s taking us with her!”

My mother looked at me from the corners of her eyes. “Come here, Velvet.”

Here we go.
I knew she wouldn’t be happy for me. I was still going to start my business. I just wanted my big break in Hollywood. But if my mother wasn’t going, neither were we. I wasn’t leaving her behind. I couldn’t make it without her being there to support me.

“Aaahhhhh!” Mama screamed.

She scared the shit outta me. “Wait, Mama. You’re pulling my hair.”

“Baby, I’m so happy for you! This is what you’ve always wanted,” said Mama. “It’s your time to shine, baby.”

Ronnie hugged me from the side.

“Mama, thanks for always believing in me. I love you,” I said.

“I love you, too, Grandma,” Ronnie said, with tears in his little eyes. I wasn’t sure if he understood how I felt, but I knew his love was pure.

“Ma, I have to make a quick run. Can you watch Ronnie for an hour?”

“Of course, Velvet, but where’re you going?”

“I want to tell Honey in person. I want to thank her for all she’s done for me,” I said.

Mama said, “For us. Tell Honey thanks from me, too.”

“Me too!” Ronnie yelled. He didn’t have to yell. I was still in the kitchen with them. But my baby was just as excited as I was.

“Invite Honey to go to church with us on Sunday,” Mama said. “You’re going, too. To give thanks. Never forget where your true love and blessings come from, baby. Now go on. Take your time getting back. Ronnie and I are fine.”

“Thanks, Ma,” I said, skipping out the door.

I was so excited; I couldn’t believe what was happening. What if I froze up? What if I couldn’t gain the twenty pounds they wanted me to for the part? What if Ronnie didn’t like L.A.? With Disneyland, Magic Mountain, Universal Studios, he’d love L.A. I’d put him in the best schools. I’d take damn good care of my mother. Buy us a big, fancy house. Maybe she’d meet one of those Hollywood producers and fall in love again. That would be nice. To see my mother in love again.

Driving to Honey’s business, I wondered if she’d gotten back together with Grant. I bet they had. Those two couldn’t stay away from one another long. They made a good couple. I parked in front of her place, then ran inside.

“Onyx, where’s Honey?” I said, with a big grin on my face.

Onyx’s eyes looked so sad.

My heart pounded against my breast. I inhaled, then exhaled. “What happened?”

“When she didn’t show up, when she didn’t show up…I went back to the house to get her.” Onyx started crying, and I started crying, too.

“Where is she!” I screamed, holding on to Onyx.

“We don’t know. We’re afraid that Honey might be dead.”

I fell to my knees. “Nooooo!” I screamed. “If anybody hurts Honey, and I don’t give a fuck who it is, I swear I’m nailing a stiletto in their clit or their motherfuckin’ dick.”

They ain’t seen how hot Red Velvet can really get down.