Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless (4 page)

62. And I get angry when believers say that the entire unimaginable hugeness of the Universe was made specifically for the human race — when atheists, by contrast, say that humanity is a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot, an infinitesimal eyeblink in the vastness of time and space — and then, once again, believers accuse atheists of being arrogant.

I want to take a moment and explain why I get so angry about believers making bad arguments for religion, and why I’m spending a chunk of time raging about it. I mean, compared to burned witches and raped children and homeless gay teenagers, “atheists being annoyed on the Internet” is hardly the crime of the century.

But it still makes me angry. I get angry because they’re not arguing in good faith. I get angry because they’re refusing to see their privilege. I get angry because so many of these bad arguments for religion end up perpetuating misinformation and bigotry against atheists. I get angry because they’re wasting our time. And I get angry because they’re prioritizing their wishful thinking over reality — and I care passionately about reality, and get ticked off when people treat it like a petty nuisance.

63. I’m angry that I have to know more about their damn religion than they do. I get angry when believers say things about the tenets and texts of their own religion that are flatly untrue, and I have to correct them on it.

64. I get angry when believers treat any criticism of their religion — i.e., pointing out that their religion is a hypothesis about the world, and asking it to stand on its own in the marketplace of ideas — as insulting and intolerant. I get angry when believers accuse atheists of being intolerant for saying things like, “I don’t agree with you,” “I think you’re mistaken about that,” and “What evidence do you have to support that?”

65. I’m angry that Christians in the United States — members of the single most powerful and influential religious group in the country, in the wealthiest and most powerful country in the world — act like beleaguered victims, martyrs being thrown to the lions all over again, whenever anyone criticizes them or they don’t get their way.

66. And I get angry when Christians in the United States — especially the Christian Right — try to have it both ways on the “persecuted martyr /favored majority” question. I get angry when they play the “Christian nation” card, saying “majority rules, there are more of us then there are of you, we get to push the rest of you around and make everyone play the way we want”… and then, when it’s politically expedient, they turn around and howl about how Christians are being persecuted by the secular humanist power structure, and how Christianity is in grave danger of being eradicated. Those things can’t both be true. Pick one.

67. I’m angry that huge swaths of public policy in this country — about same-sex marriage, birth control, abortion, stem-cell research, physician-assisted suicide, sex education in schools — are being based, not on evidence of which policies do and don’t work and what is and isn’t true about the world, but on religious texts written hundreds or thousands of years ago, and on believers’ personal feelings about how those texts should be interpreted, with no supporting evidence whatsoever… and no apparent concept of why any evidence should be needed.

68. I’m angry that when people run for political office in the United States, it’s considered legitimate to grill them about their employment background, their positions on legislation, their positions on social issues, the taxes they’ve paid, even their sexual history… but it’s considered invasive and intolerant to ask if they believe in talking snakes, demonic possession, magic underwear, magic crackers that turn into the flesh of their god, an Earth that was created 6,000 years ago, or a god who put himself on Earth in human form and then sacrificed himself to himself to atone for sins that other people committed and to save humanity from the punishment he himself was planning to dole out. If someone is going to make decisions about science funding, emerging medical technology, our educational system, and so on… I think it matters if they believe any of that shit, and I bloody well want to know about it.

69. I’m angry about the
industrial schools
operated by the Catholic Church in Ireland. I’m angry that children incarcerated in these “schools” were subjected to starvation, neglect, beatings, sexual abuse, and physical abuse that can only be described as torture, in some cases resulting in death. I’m angry that this went on for decades. And I’m angry that, for decades, multiple reports of these abuses were ignored, dismissed, and even actively suppressed by the Irish government… not just because of the immense political power of the Catholic Church in Ireland, but because of the preposterous level of deference the Church was held in.

70. I’m angry about the
Magdalene laundries
operated by the Catholic Church in Ireland. I’m angry that for decades — indeed, for well over a century — women who were considered sexually immoral, including unwed mothers, prostitutes, sexually active teenagers, women who had left their husbands, disobedient servants, overly flirtatious girls, and more — were imprisoned and held against their will in what amounted to forced labor camps. I’m angry that they were physically abused, psychologically abused, forcibly separated from their children, and forced into endless days of backbreaking labor to profit the Church, in many cases for the rest of their lives. I’m angry that they would have been better off in prison: that they were held on the sole authority of the Church, with no legal recourse, no due process, and no possibility of appeal. And I’m angry that all this was done in the name of enforcing a divine code of goodness and morality.

71. I’m angry about
exorcism
. I’m angry that, for centuries, people with mental and physical illness were subjected to mental and physical torture in order to drive out non-existent demons. And I’m angry that this isn’t a relic of the Middle Ages. I’m angry that now, today, in the 21st century, people are being subjected to torture — actual, literal torture — because of the archaic, patently ridiculous belief in demonic possession. I’m angry that you can actually watch these exorcisms on
television
— and there isn’t a massive public outcry against it.

72. I’m angry that religion was used as a rationalization for slavery. I’m angry that slave-owners in the United States were taught that God intended them to own other human beings as property… and religious leaders cited the Bible to support this practice. I’m angry that slaves in the United States were taught that being owned as property by other human beings was God’s will, and that it was their duty to God to submit to their masters…. and, again, this practice was supported with text from the Bible. And I’m angry that there is, in fact, Biblical doctrine supporting the practice of slavery.

73. And I’m angry that people look at the history of slavery in the United States, and at the religious rationalizations given for it… and still insist that religion and the Bible provide the moral foundation for our culture. I’m angry that people can look at a holy book that firmly prohibits eating shellfish, wearing blended fabrics, planting two kinds of crops in the same field — and yet says not one word prohibiting the ownership of other human beings as property, and in fact says many positive things supporting the practice — and will still insist that this book is the primary source for the morality of our society.

74. And I’m angry about the revisionist history that gets done about religion and slavery. I’m angry at how Christians today proudly claim that religion is what inspired the abolitionists… while they conveniently dismiss the overwhelming support given by the churches to the institution of slavery, and ignore the fervent opposition to slavery from so many atheists, freethinkers, and opponents of organized religion.

75. I’m angry about
Salman Rushdie
. I’m angry that, because he wrote a novel with some ideas that some fundamentalist religious leaders found upsetting, he was targeted, not with passionate disagreement, not with social disapproval, not even with an Islamic version of excommunication, but with hit men. I’m angry that he had to go into hiding, for years, because he was being pursued by fanatical thugs who were trying to murder him. I’m angry that bookstores carrying this book were firebombed; that several people involved in publishing the book were violently attacked; that the book’s Japanese translator, Hitoshi Igarashi, was murdered; and that in a mob’s attempt to murder another of the book’s translators,
dozens of people people were killed
.

76. I’m angry about
Ayaan Hirsi Ali
. I’m angry that, when she was a child, her clitoris was cut off. I’m angry that her family tried to force her into an unwanted marriage to a man she despised. And I’m angry that, because she had the temerity to speak out against these abuses, and against the religion that endorsed and supported them, she has been targeted with hit men, and has to live with heightened security and in fear of her life.

77. I’m angry about
Theo Van Gogh
. I’m angry that, because he made a film with some ideas that some fundamentalist religious leaders found upsetting, he was, in fact, murdered.

78. I’m angry about
Quiverfull families
. I’m angry that women are pressured by their religion into having as many babies as their bodies will produce — even if they don’t want them, even if they can’t take care of them, even if it chains them to abusive husbands, even if it makes it impossible to care for the children they already have, even if it destroys their physical and mental health. I’m angry that these women are taught that the only life God wants for them is a life of obeying men and creating an army of Christian children to overtake the world.

79. I’m angry that, in the Church of Scientology, members are reportedly pressured to cut themselves off from friends or family members who criticize Scientology. I’m angry that, according to reports, students in Scientology schools have been reported for ethics violations simply for researching opposition to Scientology. I’m angry that leaders in the Church are reportedly violently abusive to their members — and that victims of abuse within the church are reportedly punished if they seek outside help. I’m angry that children brought up in Scientology — particularly in the Sea Org, an internal order within the church — are reportedly exploited, physically abused, denied medical care, forced into abusive labor conditions, and are denied formal education and kept isolated from the outside world, making it almost impossible for them to function in the outside world if they do manage to escape. And I’m angry that, when I write about Scientology, I keep having to say “reportedly” — because even though these incidents are very well-documented and have been
widely
discussed
and
reported on
, the church is notoriously litigious. (
Reportedly
.)

80. I’m angry that, in many
Buddhist monasteries
, children as young as ten years old are inducted as novice monks. I’m angry that children who can’t possibly understand the tenets and demands of the religion are recruited into devoting their lives to it. And I’m especially angry because the children who become novice monks are typically among the most impoverished — and they’re drawn into abandoning secular life and devoting their lives to the monastery, not out of a sincere religious calling, but out of a need for food and shelter.

81. I’m angry that the
current Dalai Lama
said that sex can only provide short-term pleasure and is inherently destructive in the long term, even leading to suicide and murder; that all forms of sexuality other than penis-in-vagina intercourse are
banned by Buddhist teachings
; and that, although he supports the tolerance of gay people, he sees
homosexual sex
as “wrong,” “unwholesome,” a “bad action,” “vices,” “not acceptable from a Buddhist point of view,” and “contrary to Buddhist ethics.”

82. I’m angry that, in Sri Lanka, the
Buddhist majority
has perpetrated intimidation, vandalism, and violence against Christians and Christian churches.

83. And I’m angry that, when criticisms of religion are leveled, Buddhism all too often gets a free pass. I’m angry that the Westernized version of Buddhism typically ignores or dismisses these abuses. I’m angry that the versions of Buddhism practiced in Nepal or Thailand or Sri Lanka get treated as marginal or trivial, while the version of Buddhism practiced in California is somehow seen as the true faith.

84. I’m angry that, when atheists criticize right-wing religious extremism, progressive believers say “But we’re not all like that! What about progressive religion?”… but when we criticize progressive religion, progressive believers get hurt, and say, “But we’re on your side! Why are you alienating your allies?”

85. I get angry when believers say at the beginning of an argument that their belief is based on reason and evidence, and at the end of the argument say things like, “It just seems that way to me,” or, “I feel it in my heart.” As if that were a clincher. I mean, couldn’t they have said that at the beginning of the argument, and not wasted my time? I have better things to do than debate people who pretend to care about evidence and reason but actually don’t. I could be playing with our kittens and watching Project Runway.

86. I get angry when believers unhesitatingly attribute every good thing in the world to God — and then respond to bad things by saying, “God works in mysterious ways.” If God’s ways are so mysterious, and we can’t begin to understand his thinking behind tsunamis and drought and pediatric cancer, then what makes you think you understand his intentions when it comes to pretty sunsets or cute puppies or helping you find the peanut butter?

87. I get angry when believers unhesitatingly attribute every good thing in the world to God — and then respond to bad things by saying, “God had to do it that way, his hands were tied.” You’re telling me that God is powerful and smart enough to create pretty sunsets and help you find the peanut butter, but he’s not powerful or smart enough to create a world without tsunamis and drought and pediatric cancer?