Why do Clocks run clockwise? (2 page)

If you read the first volume of
Imponderables
, you now know why you don’t ever see baby pigeons, why women open their mouths while applying mascara, and why people look up when thinking.

But the last frontiers in human knowledge haven’t quite yet been plumbed. Thus the burning need for
Why Do Clocks Run Clockwise?

and Other Imponderables
.

Imponderables are the everyday mysteries of life that aren’t very important—until they occur to you. Then they begin to gnaw at your brain like termites boring through wood. An Imponderable is a mystery that cannot be solved by numbers or measurements or standard reference books. You will sleep better when you find out where flies go in winter, what happens to the tread that wears off tires, and why hamburger-bun bottoms are so thin that they disin-tegrate under the weight of the patty. You will be a better person for knowing this stuff.

Most of the new Imponderables come from readers of the first book. It is humbling to discover that the readers of
Imponderables
are at least as imaginative (crazed?) as its author.

Many readers asked for a subject index in the next volume of
Imponderables
. Your wish is our command. We’ve also added a new feature, “Frustables,” short for Frustrating Imponderables, a top-ten list of Imponderables whose answers eluded us. We are offering a free copy of the next edition of
Imponderables
to the first person who provides evidence or referrals that lead us to solutions of these ultimate mysteries.

And, of course, we still offer a free copy of the next edition of
Imponderables
to the first person who poses an Imponderable we answer in our next volume. The last page of the book will tell you how you can unburden your soul of the mysteries that plague you and participate in this great intellectual journey. But for now, sit back and enjoy.

xxi

What Is the Purpose of the Warning Label on a
Mattress? And What Happens If I Rip It Off?

Here is an Imponderable that happens to be one of the foremost moral issues plaguing our society today. Many transgressors are consumed with guilt over having ripped off mattress tags. Some are almost as upset about impetuously doing in pillow tags, as well.

We are here to say: do not be hard on yourself. You have done nothing legally wrong. You have not even done anything morally wrong.

Those warning labels are there to protect you, not to shackle you.

If you look carefully at the language of the dire warning, there is always a proviso that the label is not to be removed “except by the consumer.” Labeling laws are up to the individual states. Thirty-two of the fifty states have laws requiring mat 1

tress tags, and none of the states cares whether the purchaser of a mattress rips up the tag.

So how do these warning labels protect you? Most important, they inform the consumer exactly what the filling material is made of, because the fill is not visible. The label also notifies the consumer that the manufacturer is registered with all of the appropriate government agencies and has fulfilled its obligations in complying with their regulations. There is also manufacturing information on the tag that may help the consumer when and if a warranty adjustment is desired (though this is a good argument for keeping the tag on the mattress, or at least filing it for future reference).

Other books

No One Lives Twice (A Lexi Carmichael Mystery) by Moffett, Julie

The Shadow Collector by Kate Ellis

Sword of the Rightful King by Jane Yolen

Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) by Pelton, Kristi

A Rose From the Dead by Kate Collins

The Cyber Chronicles Book III - The Core by T C Southwell

All Through the Night by Suzanne Forster, Thea Devine, Lori Foster, Shannon McKenna

Murder at Ebbets Field by Troy Soos

The Bridal Bargain by Emma Darcy

Sunset by Douglas Reeman