Why I'm Not Afraid of Ghosts (5 page)

Robbie tried to ignore her.

It was tough to do.

“Hah! Did you see the look on his face?” Dora growled like the panther in the opening sequence of Off-Road Rally. “I am the Scream Supreme!” she yelled.

Oliver didn't head for his parents' bedroom this time. He ran to the big room downstairs, where his father had set up his office. It was filled with all kinds of weird electronic equipment. Robbie still hadn't been able to figure out what Mr. Bowen did with his machines.

Oliver burst into Mr. Bowen's workroom. Robbie and Dora drifted in behind him.

“Dad,” Oliver said. “Dad!”. Then he stomped around the room.

“What's the matter, son?” Mr. Bowen asked.

“I . . . uh . . .I . . .” I

“Say it,” Dora whispered. “ ‘I'm scared to death. We have to get out of this nightmare house!' Say it! Say it!”

Oh, please, Robbie thought, don't act scared this time, Oliver. Give
me
another chance to scare you! Don't give Dora the satisfaction!

Mr. Bowen left the room for a minute and came back with a glass of water. He handed it to Oliver.

“You okay?” he said.

Oliver nodded, red-faced, and took a sip of water. “That new game you got me,” he began.

“Yes?”

“That dumb game! It started out being this cool off-road racing simulator, but then it went totally buggy. It's all mixed up with some stupid haunted-house game!”

“Huh,” Mr. Bowen grunted.

“This girl turned into a skull and made stupid noises,” Oliver continued. “What kind of idiot game is that? We must have gotten a defective copy. It's totally dorky.”

Idiot game! Dorky! Robbie wanted to laugh out loud.

Oliver wasn't scared.

He was annoyed!

Sometimes Robbie really liked this kid.

“So—can we return it?” Oliver asked.

“Sure, Oliver,” Mr. Bowen promised. “I'll take care of it tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Oliver drank the rest of the water and headed back to his room.

“What is wrong with him?” Dora raged as she and
Robbie followed Oliver back upstairs. “We knew he was going to be a tough scare, but this is ridiculous!”

Robbie almost snickered. But that would have made Dora madder. She was already mad enough.

“Shawn?” Oliver called as he entered his room. “Spooky?”

The Doberman scrambled to his feet, his tongue lolling from his mouth. Robbie eyed the dog warily. He didn't want to be jumped through again.

Oliver patted the dog's head. “Spooky, where's Shawn?”

“Ruff,” Spooky answered.

“Yeah, right,” Oliver muttered. “I'm asking a dog. But still. Where did Shawn go? That skull face in the game must have spooked him.” He shook his head. “You know, he sure gets scared easy.”

“Unlike
some
idiots,” Dora muttered.

Robbie hid a smile. It looked as if Dora's big scare had fallen pretty flat.

* * *

“Whatever you do, it can't possibly be better than
my
scare,” Dora declared when they were back in the attic.

“Your
scare,” Robbie repeated sarcastically. “It worked so well. Hah.”

“Hey. I heard you scream!”

Robbie felt as if he were turning red, even though ghosts can't blush. “Well, you just surprised me, that was all.”

“You were scared,” Dora said. “Admit it.”

Robbie gazed at his big sister. “Okay. I was scared. But so what?
Oliver
wasn't. Not even for a second!”

Dora frowned. “For my next scare, I'll try something bigger.”

“No fair,” Robbie protested. “It's my turn next!”

Dora crossed her arms and smirked at him. “You might as well give up and let me take the next turn. You know you can't come up with anything better than my amazing computer glitch.”

“Oh, yeah?” Robbie yelled. “Just wait! Just wait until tonight! I'll give him nightmares so bad, he can't wait to wake up, and when he wakes up, it'll be worse!”

Dora shook her head. “You pale excuse for a ghost! What happened last night? “My little sister is having nightmares!' What makes you think tonight is going to be different?”

“You'll see,” Robbie countered. He was so mad at Dora, he wanted to spit. But ghosts can't do that either. “Just you wait. You'll see!”

He didn't know yet exactly
what
she would see.

But he was going to come up with something huge!

R
obbie never prepared more carefully for a haunt in his whole afterlife.

But it would be worth it. He had plans. Big plans!

He wished he knew some of Dora's special tricks though. He'd feel more sure of himself.

Never mind. He had plenty of his own tricks up his sailor-suit sleeves!

From his perch on top of Oliver's dresser, Robbie watched Oliver turn out the light and pull up the covers.

Spooky strolled over to the desk. He turned around three times and then lay down.

Robbie didn't start his scare right away. It was always better to begin haunting when people were shaken up and confused.

Waking them out of a sound sleep with wild noises was one of the best ways to shake them up!

Robbie thought over his stunts, rehearsing them in his mind while he waited for Oliver to fall asleep.

This kid sure tossed and turned a lot!

Why did he keep fiddling with his sheet?

Maybe I should go ahead and start now, Robbie thought. Maybe Oliver would be scared enough.

No. Stick to the plan! Robbie scolded himself. He forced himself to wait.

Finally Oliver was breathing long and slow. Robbie drifted above Oliver's bed. Yup! He could hear soft snores. Time for the scare to begin.

Robbie tuned his voice and his sound effects so that only Oliver could hear them. Then he groaned.

Just a little groan to start out. To kind of ease into it. Sneak into Oliver's dreams.

Robbie curled his fingers into claws. He floated over to Oliver's closet and scraped his nails across the wood, making
skritching
noises. The sound of skeletons trying to dig through your closet door to get you.

Robbie touched the door hinges with ghost fingers. Creak! Creeeek! Rusty hinges, opening slowly . . . slowly . . .

To let in the night things!

Robbie called up footsteps—to run around Oliver's bed.

Then whispers! The sizzling whispers of creatures planning mischief! Plotting near the bed where a
sleeper could
almost
understand what they were talking about—but not quite!

Oliver turned over and sighed in his sleep.

Fine. Robbie was just warming up!

Hmmmm. What next? Ah! Owl hoots. First far away, then coming closer.

Now heavier footsteps. Clomp clomp
clomp clomp!
The Frankenstein monster, stomping and stumbling his way here.

Then a frightful, long moan.

Oh, yes! All the good stuff!

The howls of a whole pack of wolves under a full moon.

Just setting the scene!

Robbie summoned ghost chains. He shook them once and listened to the sound they made, links hitting each other. Clash, jingle, clink!

Nice.

Robbie rattled the chains harder! He imagined something chained up because it was too wild and bad to be loose. It ached to escape! It struggled against the chains.

Rattle, clang . . . 
snap!

One chain broke!

Rattle
snap snap snap!

All the chains burst open!

Thump! Thwop! Something coming! Something with two legs, and . . . swish, swish . . . wings wide enough to brush the ceiling!

It muttered and snorted. “Tasty,” Robbie growled in his best monster voice. “Tasty boy! Nice nibbleicious fingers and toes! Nice munchy nose! Yuuuuum!” He tweaked Oliver's nose.

If Robbie had been in the bed, he would have woken up screaming!

Oliver brushed his hand across his nose. His eyes stayed closed, and he still breathed slowly.

He sure was a heavy sleeper!

Robbie glanced around. He knew he was making all these noises himself. But they were so good, he almost expected to see the goblins and skeletons and giant cannibal bats and the Frankenstein monster crowded around the room, leaning over to smile hungrily at Oliver. Their next victim!

Or maybe even stare hungrily at Robbie!

But no, Robbie reassured himself. Nothing else was here.

Just Oliver, asleep in the bed, and Robbie, drifting in the air.

Whew!

Okay. Robbie hadn't pulled out all the stops yet!

Robbie had summoned all kinds of pretend monsters to the room, but they weren't really here.

But I am! Robbie thought with a grin.

Ghosts were real, no matter what Oliver believed. And there was a ghost in here all right!

Robbie moaned. He groaned. He cried out in terror and agony.

“Oh, it hurts. It hurts!” he shrieked. “It's
killing
me! And it's coming for
you!”

He howled so loudly that the covers of comic books on the floor flipped open and pages fluttered.

He screamed. He gurgled with a horrible wet, choking noise, then stopped as if his throat had been cut.

Oliver lay quietly on the bed below Robbie. So quiet. He wasn't snoring anymore.

Was he even breathing?

Oh, no! What if he wasn't?

What if Robbie had scared Oliver to
death?

Robbie dropped down and stood on the floor by Oliver's bed. He leaned over to listen.

What if Oliver wasn't breathing?

He'd seen TV shows where people did CPR and brought other people back to life. But he didn't know anything about CPR! He never watched a TV program long enough to learn how to do it!

“Oliver?” Robbie reached out to shake Oliver's shoulder. But he couldn't. He'd used up all his energy on sound effects! His hand went right through Oliver!

Panic rose in Robbie like a scream.

“Oliver?” he whispered urgently. “Please wake up! Oliver? Are you okay?”

R
obbie stood frozen beside Oliver's bed. Was Oliver still alive?

Oliver snorted and turned over again. He started snoring.

Oliver wasn't dead.

He was just asleep. Deeply asleep.

Robbie couldn't believe it!

Oliver had slept through the entire haunting!

Every moan, every howl, every creeping, slobbering,
skritching,
stumbling sound of it!

All of Robbie's best work!

How
could
he?

Robbie was so mad that if he had had any energy left, he would have tipped Oliver out of bed onto the floor!

That would have done it! Yeah! Tangle him up in sheets and dump him onto the floor!

Why hadn't Robbie thought of that before?

Nothing like a good thud on a hardwood floor to wake somebody up surprised!

But no. Robbie had used up all his energy on sound effects.

What an idiot he was!

“Rats!” Robbie muttered, stomping around the room.

He almost tripped over Spooky.

Even the
dog
slept through Robbie's haunting!

“Boo,” Robbie said. Then, enraged, he screamed “Boo!” as loud as he could in Spooky's ear.

“Woof,” Spooky mumbled without opening his eyes.

What a waste! What a worthless waste!

“Well, that was as exciting as a Sunday afternoon nap,” Dora's snotty voice jeered.

Oh, great. Not only did he use up all his best noises, but now he'd have to listen to Dora gloat!

Robbie headed for the attic. He couldn't stand being in Oliver's room a moment longer. The scene of his miserable failure.

All his best skills. And not one of them had scared his victim.

Robbie felt exhausted as he climbed the attic stairs. He was so tired, he couldn't even float up.

He couldn't remember feeling this tired before.