Wicked Flower (25 page)

“I was just about to say you’re a
good teacher and then you throw mother
effer
in there
for good measure. Always keeping people on their toes, you are, Mr. Calderon.”

She couldn’t tell how he’d taken
that and then he tugged on his lounge pants, straightening them and pulling
them to where he must be more comfortable. They just hung there on his hips.
Her eyes popped too wide and she accidentally let a “Shit” spill out.

“Aren’t you the interesting one
tonight?” he said. She’d have called it his usual teasing but his every word
and action tonight barely covered the tired pain so evident in his voice, his
hands. He rubbed at his hip bone and then raised it to do the same to his
forehead. “What?”

 
“I just half expected everything you own to be
white.
PJ’s
included.”

That got her a more genuine smile
although still heavy with his exhaustion and worry. “White pajama bottoms would
not be appropriate for me at Mom’s.
At least not with you
around.”

“Why not?” she
asked.

“Really?”
He closed his
eyes for a slow second and flexed his toes.

“Consider me clueless. I’ve
rarely seen you in anything but white around here. Why would pajama pants be
such a jump to make?”

She was so thankful that even
though she felt severely below intelligence levels right now, that they were
talking about something as mundane as the color of his clothes.

“You know how hard it is to hide
an erection in white cotton?”

Oh shit. She hadn’t thought about
that.
At all.
And now she really was a blushing fool.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, big Oh,” he said and let
his legs fall into a more relaxed position on the chair. Still didn’t look like
he’d found a comfortable position. “Hey, not trying to be a dick, but you
should probably go back inside, Dani.” His eyes darkened.

“Okay.” But Dani couldn’t help
but find just the right angle of peripheral vision to check him out now. Yes,
there. The front of his soft pants betrayed nothing inappropriate below. Just a
natural male bump that signified he had his man parts. Her heart somersaulted.
Her belly
spasmed
but that had nothing to do with
Stefan’s glorious body laid out beside her. She casually tried to act like she
hadn’t just scoped out his crotch. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“Wait,” he said. “I’m fighting
it, Dani.” His voice came out low and then finally, because it felt like it had
been ages, he touched her. Just a single falling ringlet of her hair but in
that one gesture, she had that proof again, even if it felt like he was trying
to keep it from her.
 

His jaw worked. Her insides
turned to hot goo.

“I don’t know what to say. Thank
you? I’m sorry?” she asked.

“You don’t have to say anything.
But since you’re not leaving, it would be nice if you told me what you’re doing
out here with me.”

What else could she say? “I know
today was tough for you to see. I wanted to make sure you were okay. And to
tell you that I promise your mom doesn’t have many of these days but when they
hit, they hit hard.”

“But she’ll bounce back. You said
you’ve been through this with her before.”

“Yes,
Hon
—”

He stopped her with two fingers
covering her lips.

“Never been
called that by a younger woman.
It’s nice when you do it.”

“It was a slip. But I’m glad
you’re okay with it,” she said. “Stefan, your mom will be okay. I’m not just
saying that.
Even though I did say that before.”

“If you tell me this shit will
pass and she’ll be better soon, I guess I have to believe you.”

There was so much more she should
have focused on but Dani couldn’t help but wonder how many women Stefan had
loved and how young and how old? She decided to put some insane number in her
head so if and when she ever found out the actual amount, it would sound
absurdly low. Silently, she calculated in her factors while he smoothed her
lock of curl between his fingers and focused on nothing else but the back and
forth action for a few moments.

He was thirty-eight-
ish
. He’d been in his band for something like twenty years.
He was drop dead gorgeous, single and rich. He not only played bass guitar but
also was the lead singer. His body could melt the polar ice caps. At least what
she’d seen of it. And, he would hook up with a woman just about anywhere. Shit.
His number had to be astronomical. Before she assigned his, she thought about
hers.
Eight.
Nine if she counted Stefan. They hadn’t
actually slept together but what they had done was more sensual and erotic than
all the others combined.

Her eye caught how completely
absorbed he looked in the petting of her one lock of hair. If she didn’t know
better, she’d think music was about to flow from her head, with the look on his
face like the one in the magazine picture of him with his beloved guitar.
Quickly, so as not to fall completely fairy tale in love with this man who at
every turn found new ways to taunt and confuse her, she mentally blurted out,
five hundred.
But realized that he could have done that in a
handful of years.
One thousand.
That’s what
she’d keep telling herself.

Funny though,
she wasn’t disgusted by the outrageous number.

“What in the world are you
thinking about right now?” he asked her, and finally let her long curl go back
to the others.

“Math?” she said, wondering if
he’d take that and chalk the oddness up to the fact she was also dead tired.

“Is that a question?” he asked.

She just shook her head. Tell
him, Dani’s conscience egged her on. “Did you know you have a way of making me
feel like I’m the only girl in the world? I bet you make everyone feel that
way.” It was the reason his thousands of previous lovers didn’t send her
running right now with her tail between her legs. And why there was no way she
and Thom could ever be together.
Or she and any other guy.
No one made her feel the way Stefan did.

He scratched behind his ear and
just shrugged.

“Hey, thanks for the talk. It
helped. I feel less like shit now,” he said rather than acknowledging her
compliment.

“But still not great?” she asked.

“I’m fine, Dani. Go.” Slowly, he
downed his chin toward his bare chest.

He needed to get some rest and
she should do the same. Gina was an early riser. Four-thirty would be there
soon. She guessed he really was sleeping out here tonight.

“Why don’t you stay asleep in the
morning? I’ll get up with your mom,” Dani offered him.

“Hey…” Stefan sat up. He looked
away for a moment then came back to her. “You shouldn’t have come out here …
but I’m glad you did.”

Dani stood, her hand a little
shaky, like she couldn’t possibly have heard him right.

“I know.” Her cheeks bunched
because she was overcome with emotions. She wouldn’t miss the crazy mood swings
pregnancy brought along and took a few steps away from him.

Before she got too far, his voice
called her to a stop. “So anymore word from Thom?
He doing
okay?” Stefan’s eyes were still tired but he looked genuinely interested in a
distant kind of way again.

Maybe he wasn’t really ready for
her to go either, but talking to him about Thom threatened to cloud over the
warmth she got from just being near Stefan. “He hasn’t called or emailed again.
I don’t expect him to. It’s not like that.”

“Not like what?”

“We’re on friendly terms but
we’re not close like that. Remember? He’s got someone who loves him.” Her lip
quivered. No matter how much she tried to stop it, nothing helped. She couldn’t
talk to Thom like she could with Stefan. “How horrible does that sound? I didn’t
realize until I just said it. But it’s true.”

“Hey.” His chocolate eyes under
that crinkled dark brow held no secrets right now. Just the same plain, raw
need she felt inside too. “Come here.”

Dani stayed put, wiping sudden,
unexpected tears away.

“Come back over here. Sit down
with me,” he said.

In a trance, caught between what
they should do and the need she felt every single time she was in his presence,
Dani hovered over his chair.

He took the quilt he’d already
pulled back earlier into his hand and held it up like he was waiting for her to
join him so he could then cover them both with it.

To him, it would appear she was
just standing there, ignoring him. But really she was trying to figure out who
he was. She’d seen so many different sides to him in the matter of ten days.
Hours ago, even minutes earlier, he’d been distant. Now he wanted her to lay
with him on the chair.

“Shit. I can see it all over your
face. You wish I was someone else,” he said.

He dropped the blanket. It fell
to cover his lower half. He started to roll over, away from her but stopped.
Like this was her very last chance.
Their very last chance.

To answer him, she didn’t wish
for that. She just wanted this to be real so badly. She wanted to be his proof,
the person who calmed and soothed him tonight. Who told him it would be okay
without needing the words. Dani’s gut twisted when she realized then that she
wanted a real relationship with him.

Well, that was impossible.

“Fuck, Dani. There’s nothing I
can do about who I am. I won’t beg for this. I just wanted to hold you.”

Incredibly hesitant, she joined
him lying as straight as she could at his side. She pointed her toes straight
downward so they didn’t poke him.

“This
ain’t
gonna
work.” He pulled himself up and stood then
brought her to her feet as well, holding the rocker’s pillow and the quilt. He
led her by the hand over to a soft patch of grass where he sat. “Join me?” She
adjusted to the odd feeling of laying down on the ground outside as he pulled
the soft quilt up and over them. Technically, they weren’t under Gina’s roof
and the implications of that and this made her woozy. A legion of goose bumps
took their places on every inch of her skin. Stefan’s smell had permeated the
pillow, the quilt, her hair. It was so warm and deep, like everything else
about him and it made her blood hum. He placed one chaste kiss on her cheek.
“Told you, I just want to hold you.”

She fidgeted some more.

Her baby bump showed under the
blanket and she smoothed over the top of it.

She turned her face to the right
to see him and paid for it instantly. If his look didn’t say how
bad
he wanted her…

“How far along are you again, exactly?”
he asked, a genuine mark of curiosity lit his face. Dani studied the
handsomeness of his slightly crooked nose but his absolutely perfect full lips for
a second and then returned to staring at the ceiling of stars above them.

“Eighteen weeks.”

“So that’s what? Four months?”

“A little over.”

Dani couldn’t help but touch her
stomach. Although she knew she had to stay aware that this tender of a moment
would only make things harder for her and the quizzical man lying a foot away
in the morning.
Even if it was just holding, as he’d said.

A roll of indescribable motion
tumbled low in her belly. She always gasped when the baby did that. It hadn’t
gotten old since two weeks ago when she’d felt it for the first time.

“You seem happy about your baby.
I admire that, Dani.”

“I have a lot to be happy about,”
she said. Some might think she was crazy to come to that conclusion, but she
couldn’t think any other way. The little guy was on his way. Dani was so
anxious about her ultrasound appointment in the morning when she would confirm
whether he was indeed a little guy or gal.

“Stefan, are we still operating
under that promise we made?”

He brought his hands up and
clasped them above his head. His armpits smelled like spicy, rustic heaven and
the black hairs fascinated her. What was it about his body hair that set off
every one of her man-loving hormones? That there wasn’t too much, just the
perfect
amount to outline his muscles and look
soft to
the touch?

His biceps flexed and called to
Dani to kiss them.

“It feels like we’ve made a few
of those damn things. Are you speaking about the one where we don’t sleep
together under the same roof? Because I don’t think I can stay awake much
longer. So you can count that one shot to hell,” he said. “But then again,
we’re outside.”

“Broken on a technicality then,”
she said back as he yawned and she saw that his teeth weren’t perfect but they
were a nice pearly white in the moonlight. Of course they would be white.

“You know, back to what I was
saying earlier about you being happy with your baby, not everyone would see
things as positively as you do,” he said then yawned.