Wicked Lovers 07 Ours to Love (2 page)

Javier’s sarcasm cut him like an ax to the chest. “You have no idea what I’m capable
of, but you’re never going to find out because you refuse to share our family business.
And despite the guilt you’re trying to shove down my throat, you would
never
have shared your wife in any way, either.”

He’d lived in his big brother’s shadow for nearly thirty years, wishing he could please
his parents. Finally, he’d realized that was impossible and gave up, pursuing pleasure
instead. He’d decided very early in life that he didn’t want Javier’s grudging seconds,
either.

“Bullshit. I asked for your help. I fucking
begged
you,” his brother snapped.

“When Francesca got beyond your desire or ability to handle her, you looked to me
like some BDSM Band-Aid. You’ve been training in the lifestyle for months now. You
know why passing her off to me would have never worked, even if the issue of fucking
her never came up. She wasn’t going to recognize you as her husband, me as her Master,
and suddenly be happy.”

“Maybe not happy, but at least she wouldn’t have been in Aruba being murdered by her
lover.”

Xander shook his head, wondering if Javier could even see reality at this point. “If
it hadn’t been that guy, it would have been someone else. And in the meantime, all
she would have done was play us against one another to get her way. She would have
torn us apart.”

“Well, then she won because she’s still doing it.” Javier stalked off, turning back
only long enough to growl at him. “Fuck off, Xander. For good.”

***

WITH
Javier sacked out on the impeccable leather of the passenger seat of his new Audi
sedan, Xander drove through the black night and headed east. He hit the steering wheel
to the beat of the heavy alternative song. The angry music suited him.

He didn’t see any fucking end to this mess in sight and he didn’t know what else to
do. Tonight’s move would put him on Javier’s shit list for the rest of his life . . .
but at least his brother would be alive to hate him.

When his phone rang, Xander glanced at the Bluetooth display and answered with a smile.
“Cherry!”

“Logan is going to kill you if he hears you’ve been calling me that,” said his best
friend’s wife.

“I think it’s sweet, all that red hair and innocence.”

She snorted. “Being married to Logan . . . not so innocent anymore. You on the road?”

“Yeah. We’ll be arriving in the wee hours of the morning, maybe threeish. Sorry about
that . . .”

“No worries. My new boss is very understanding.”

“So I’ll finally get to meet the infamous Jack Cole?”

“Probably. He’s twice as cantankerous now that he’s got a baby who doesn’t sleep as
much as he’d like, but the upside is that he’s rarely in the office early these days.”
Tara sounded cheerful about that fact, and Xander had to smile.

“Thanks for letting us crash at your place until we can find some digs of our own.”

“No problem. Just remember the ground rules: Always put the lid to the toilet seat
down, you must at least wear underwear around the house, and no flirting with Kata
unless you want Hunter to kill you. He’s, um . . . intensely protective.”

“And Logan’s not?” Xander quipped.

“Okay, there’s a point. But you get my drift.”

“Yes, Katalina the lovely Latina is off limits. I’ll manage somehow.”

“I saw how popular you were the last time you were in Lafayette. I think you’ll more
than manage. What about Javier?”

Xander heard the shift in her voice, the concern. His mood had been scratched raw
after their ugly fight. He’d spent the next few hours duping Javier. It pained him
to have to deceive his own brother, and Xander couldn’t handle Tara’s tenderness right
now. “No need to worry about my brother hitting on Kata. After the healthy dose of
hydromorphone I gave him back in Dallas, the only thing he’ll be hitting for a while
is the sheets.”

“How did you get—” She sighed. “Oh my God, are you sleeping with a doctor?”

Xander grinned. “She’s got some really fabulous qualities.”

“Do you mean her prescription pad or her breasts?”

“I have to choose?” he teased to lighten the mood.

“I swear, your dick gets so much usage, I’m stunned it hasn’t fallen off from exhaustion
or you haven’t contracted some exotic disease no one’s ever heard of.”

Xander winced at the familiar jibe, but played along. “I think you missed me, Tara.
You know, there are lots of advantages to hooking up with a playboy rather than a
SEAL.”

“I don’t think so. Instead of the occasional dangerous terrorist, I’d have to worry
about all those jealous husbands or angry fathers shooting you. Pass.”

Xander laughed. He absolutely adored this verbal sparring with Logan’s wife. She always
assumed he was joking. Since he had no reason to take himself seriously, it worked.

“All kidding aside, what about Javier. Is he okay?” she asked.

Fuck no, and Tara must know that or he wouldn’t be drugging his brother and hauling
him across state lines in the middle of the night. He rubbed a hand across gritty,
exhausted eyes. “I hope he will be. Eventually. But like I said, babysitting a grown
man is a bigger job than I can manage alone. I’m sorry to bring my trouble to you.”

“If Logan wasn’t out on a mission, he would want you to. I do, too. Kata is on board.
Jack, Deke, and Tyler are all ready to pitch in. And Deke’s wife, Kimber, is a nurse.
She can help us if we run into something medical. Luc and Alyssa Traverson have promised
you some really excellent food from Bonheur.”

“Wonderful. Just make sure you hold the wine,” Xander quipped, though it wasn’t exactly
funny. He was damn tired of seeing Javier losing himself in a bottle.

“Will do. I found a house I think you’ll love. The offices you asked about should
be easy, as well. I’ve got a few leads. You can check those out tomorrow while one
of the big boys babysits.”

“Javier will love that . . .” Sarcasm dripped from his voice.

“The offices or the babysitter?”

“Both probably. But that’s his problem. If he’d bothered to get his head out of his
ass in the last year, none of this would be happening.”

Tara made a sympathetic sound. “I got an e-mail today from Logan. He’s expecting to
be home in a week or so and should have some leave. Hunter is settling into his new
post-navy job with Jack and Deke at Oracle, but I’m sure he can spare a few hours
here and there. Between the two of them, they’ll get Javier’s mind focused on PT and
off of whatever is eating him up.”

“The physical therapy will do him good. Thanks, Tara. I really don’t know what I would
have done without you. Javier bought a first-class ticket to self-destruction. I can’t
think of another way to prevent him from finishing that trip.”

“We’ll find something to get him back on track so you can go back to being your charming,
absolutely incorrigible self.”

***

LONDON
McLane knocked on the little bungalow’s door promptly at eight the next morning. She
was a little winded and a lot tense, but she’d walked the half mile here by herself.
Technically, she wasn’t supposed to do anything alone until the blackouts stopped,
but that could be years, if ever. She was tired of being a burden to everyone around
her. Her first priority was to show herself—and her family—that she could finally
be self-sufficient.

At twenty-five, she had done nothing that the average adult did every day, like drive,
hold a job, or spend a quiet evening alone. She didn’t want a safe existence; she
wanted an extraordinary life, one where she could climb mountains, fall in love, help
others, push past her every fear, and be completely at peace with herself.

After nearly ten years, London was determined that the time for being a prisoner in
her own body was over. The rest of her life started today . . . even if she wasn’t
exactly sure how to begin it.

Kata Edgington opened the door, her bright smile welcoming. The lovely brunette hugged
her. “Come on in, honey. How are you? Trip back to Cali good? Have you moved to Lafayette
for good?”

She stepped in the cheery bungalow, tucking a pale strand of hair behind her ear.
“Yes. I shipped the rest of my clothes out here, over my mother’s objection. But she
was going to smother me back home. I’ve visited enough to know that Lafayette will
be a good change for me. It’s completely different than Orange County, for sure. I’m
cleared to walk as much as I’m able and I’m going to take advantage of every opportunity.
I can even try jogging, so I’m definitely going to train for my goal of finishing
that 5K this fall. I have some new meds that should help.” She made a face at the
thought of the horse pills she had to take daily. “But I won’t need more surgery unless
the condition worsens.”

The other woman’s eyes softened with compassion. “I’m so sorry. It must seem like
you’ve been going through this forever.”

Before she could stop it, London flashed back to wet roads, the loud roar of Evanescence
blasting over the sports car’s speakers, Amber and her boyfriend arguing about his
something-something on the side with another girl just before . . .

London shuddered and tried to focus on Kata. “Yeah, but I’m putting it behind me.
Time to really start living.”

Kata wrapped an arm around her in a quick hug, then looked out the door before shutting
it. “You didn’t come with Alyssa or Luc?”

Her cousin, Alyssa, and the woman’s husband had done more than enough already, letting
her visit off and on for months, and now letting her move in. She helped when she
could, cooked, did laundry—anything she could think of. It wasn’t enough, and London
knew it. Soon, she hoped she’d be able to help more.

“No. They have such busy lives. I have to start taking care of myself. I can’t be
trapped by my limitations anymore.”

“Honey, if you fall and hit your head—”

“At least then I’d feel something.” She’d take pain over the decades of emptiness
and regret she’d have if she stayed the course. “I will never be independent unless
I push myself.”

Kata pursed her lips as if she didn’t like it and was about to say so.

“You ready to walk with me?” London changed the subject.

She grimaced, her eyes flashing an apology. “I should have called, but everything
happened so fast. I’m sorry; I can’t leave. I’m babysitting . . . sort of.”

“Are you watching little Caleb?”

Shaking her head, Kata’s dark hair spilled around her shoulders. “No. He’s with Deke
and Kimber. I think his mommy and daddy have plans for him later.”

Kata’s husband, Hunter, seemed awfully fond of his sister’s energetic rug rat, so
the assumption had been a natural one. The toddler ran and jumped, making truck noises
and pretending to soar like an airplane. She was sure it wouldn’t be long before Hunter
wanted rug rats of his own, and they’d make great parents. She wasn’t jealous of any
of them . . . exactly. Envious, yes. She loved children, but was nowhere near able
to be a fit mother. Not that she even had a man in her life or her bed, so children
were hardly an issue.

She pasted on a smile. “Well, if you’re watching Tyler’s little demon spawns, it’s
awfully quiet.”

“You’d have heard them a mile away. Seth is a terror in his terrible twos. And for
a baby, Chase has a damn healthy set of lungs.” Kata giggled. “I’m actually watching
a grown man. It’s a favor to Logan’s best friend. Remember me telling you about Xander?”

“The billionaire playboy?” London liked whenever Alyssa’s friends dished about the
fast-driving, hard-loving enigma. From their stories, she knew that Xander must be
handsome, charming, and of course, the love-’em-and-leave-’em type. But as far as
she was concerned, all those women in Xander’s life were lucky. At least they’d been
loved at some point.

“That one. OMG, I don’t think that man goes a day without picking up at least one
random girl, and from what I hear, showing her a really good time.” Kata smiled, then
sobered. “Anyway, he brought his brother to me. Javier is falling apart.”

That sounded awful. “Can I help?”

Compassion softened Kata’s eyes. “It’s sweet of you to offer, honey, but I’m not sure
how much any of us can do but try to help him move on. His wife was murdered about
a year ago.”

Sympathy hit London hard. “Oh my gosh, that’s terrible! Did they find her killer?”

“No.”

How terrible
. “Do the police have any idea why she was killed?”

Kata started to reply, but her answer was interrupted by a pained moan, a rustle,
then a crash. She ran down the hall and into the first room on the left. London followed,
concern for a man she’d never met twisting her up. Javier’s heart must be utterly
shattered to need this much help a year after his wife’s death. He must have loved
her very much.

As she ran into the room behind Kata, a man lurched from the bed and stumbled into
the nightstand, wearing only a pair of dark gray boxer briefs that hugged his lean
hips and thighs, and clung to his gorgeous backside. Bronze skin covered a muscled
back and wide shoulders. Even stooped over, he stood tall. Big and powerful. Shaggy
dark hair brushed the strong column of his neck, slightly askew and wavy.

Kata grabbed his arm, holding him back from taking another step and likely falling
on his face. “Throw back the covers and help me get him into the bed again.”

London jolted into action and ran to shove the sheet and blanket down. When she looked
up, Kata had eased behind Javier, grabbed both bulging biceps, and was trying to turn
him back toward the bed, but he’d wedged her between his solid body and the nightstand,
leaving her no room for leverage. London stepped in front of the poor widower to help
and looked up at him. Sympathy was the last thing on her mind.

Even with pale eyes half-open and dazed, Javier was the most beautiful man she’d ever
seen. His nearness washed through her veins in an icy-hot rush. Her stomach plummeted
to her knees. And a little bit lower, between her legs . . . she didn’t want to think
about that sudden ache. Damn, he smelled manly. It wasn’t cologne. Older than her
by probably a decade, he wore his experience on his face in the faint lines around
his mouth, and the notch between his brows. The strong slashes of his cheekbones told
her that he’d look like all kinds of warrior avenger when he was angry. Everything
about him made her want to press herself against him, wrap her arms around him, promise
him that somehow she would make his pain go away.