Wicked Nights With a Proper Lady (30 page)

“I understand that you are upset, Genny, but at least give me time to make this up to you. I couldn’t be honest before now. And after everything we’ve been through these past few weeks, I had hoped that you could at least forgive me my transgressions.”

“To forgive you would mean that I condone your behavior, but I would never tolerate any actions that could intentionally harm another. You don’t know me at all if you thought that this could be easily brushed under the carpet like yesterday’s dust.”

He put his hands up in surrender and stepped away from her. Nothing would be won tonight. Not when she was this upset. He’d find her in the morning and try again.

“Tell me what to do, Genny?”

“I want you gone from my life.” The defeat was so palpable in her voice that he barely managed to take her in his arms to offer her any comfort he could.

He searched for any possibility of forgiveness in her eyes. There was nothing there but disappointment … sadness, too.

“I will not leave.”

“If you ever cared for me … if you ever loved me, you’ll do as I bid.”

She turned away from him again and walked through the door without so much as a look back in his direction. Leo followed her into the hall and made sure no one watched her enter her private chambers.

When he was sure she was safely ensconced in her room, he leaned back against the inside of his closed chamber door. He’d known she would be angered by his deception. Why he’d expected anything less than what had just transpired between them was beyond him.

He still had tomorrow to convince her that he hadn’t meant to harm her or her cousin. He would find a way to make this up to her.

Leo’s head lightly thunked against the door behind him and he rubbed at his face with a heavy sigh. He’d really messed this up. He wasn’t sure how to make it better, but he had to because he loved her.

Chapter 20

What do you suppose will happen if you toss a debutante, a man with only his charm and his father’s undistinguished title to rely upon, and a distinguished member of high society all in a bowl as if they were a sticky, messy, commingling trifle? What a love triangle you create.

The Mayfair Chronicles, August 5, 1846

What a terrible muddle this was. How had she ever trusted him, or given in to him, or ever adored and fallen in love with him? She flung her arm over her eyes to block out the light from the morning sun.

A very small part of her stupidly wished he’d ignored her explicit wishes yesterday. What was wrong with her? The man had set out to ruin her cousin’s chance at marrying a decent man with a decent title. Thank goodness he had told her before anything more serious could develop in their budding relationship.

Who was she fooling?

Something very serious had happened between them. They’d promised themselves to each other. They’d made firm plans to marry.

She let out a frustrated groan and covered her face with both arms. What did she have to be ashamed of? She’d done nothing wrong, aside from sleep with and fall in love with a man she promised herself years ago that she would wipe from her memory. She needed to pull herself together.

Forcing herself to leave the bed, she sat at her vanity and gathered up the last of her courage as she dressed her hair.

Charlotte exited her private chamber at the same time Genny did.

“No breakfast?” her cousin asked, carefully studying her.

Genny tied her bonnet beneath her chin. “I have a megrim that has diminished my appetite significantly.”

“Let us walk this morning instead then,” Charlotte said.

“That is just what the doctor ordered.”

The sun was high in the sky and white balls of fluff danced across the blue. Genny leaned her head back and breathed in the cooler air. “It’s the best day we’ve had since coming here.”

Her cousin made a noncommittal noise, then asked, “Where is Lord Barrington this morning? This will be the first day he hasn’t walked with us.”

“How should I know what amuses him during the day,” she snapped. She clapped her hand over her mouth. “I didn’t mean to say it quite like that.”

“You have had a row with him?” When Genny didn’t respond, Charlotte added, “I wonder what you could possibly argue about; you were getting on famously.”

“Lord Barrington has probably found another amusement to occupy his time.” Genny took her cousin’s arm and walked down the stone path that led to the creek. “Where is Ariel this morning?”

“Dinner was not agreeable to her. She looked green when I checked on her in her room.”

“Oh, I do hope no one else is ill.”

“Lady Hargrove said she wasn’t feeling very well last evening but her illness seemed to pass with a good night’s sleep.”

Genny locked her arm with her cousin’s. “We’ll check on Ariel when we are back. See if she wants our company.”

Her cousin grinned at her. “Oh, I already told her I would barge into her room after lunch if she didn’t come down.”

“How thoughtful of you.”

Genny was glad for the change of topic so that less focus was put on her sour mood this morning. So far the day held a great deal of promise. However, it did not bode well that no one had confirmed whether or not Leo had left the residence. Perhaps he was preparing his bags right now.

She hated that her feelings were conflicted, that she wanted him both to leave and to stay and try and make amends. However, forgiveness simply wasn’t possible after this recent betrayal.

They picked some flowers along the way, both holding a bouquet when they reached the path that led toward the stream. As they walked down the stone steps, they spied Leo sitting on the bench she usually rested on. She gave an unladylike stomp of her foot and slowed her pace intentionally. It was far more preferable to turn on her heel and go back to the house.

She pinched her lips together to keep from making a caustic remark. Charlotte did not need to know any more than she had already guessed.

Charlotte let go of Genny’s arm. “He looks very somber this morning. Oddly enough, I would say he is as serious and disconcerting as you, cousin. I’ll leave you to speak privately with him.” Charlotte plucked the bouquet Genny held and took it with her.

“No…” She tried to grab her cousin’s arm and drag her back to her side, but Charlotte was already wending her way farther down the path to give her a moment alone with Barrington.

She supposed she had no choice but to speak with him. Demand once again he do the right thing and leave, even though she preferred not to talk to him at all, because the very sight of him tore at her heart.

She froze to the spot and couldn’t seem to take another step forward. It didn’t matter, because Leo stood from the bench and approached her with an earnest expression and a slow stride. He removed his hat when he stopped in front of her and twisted it around in his hands.

Genny crossed her arms over her chest.

“I see you’re still upset with me.”

She raised her brows and waited for him to say more.

“I wanted to apologize, Genny. I wanted to make things better between us. There is no reason—”

“No reason,”
she cut him off. “No reason for me to be angry? No reason for me to detest you as much as I do right now? You had every intention of ruining an innocent girl’s life. Someone in my care. Someone I care for.”

He grabbed her arm and hauled her off the path that wound around the gardens and behind a tall tangled mess of roses.

“You’ll have the whole household here in a minute if you don’t get control over your emotions.” Unlike her, he seemed rather calm.

“As if I care right now to control my emotions, Leo. You are lucky I’m doing no more than shout at you.”

He scratched his head with the back of his hand. “Have pity on me, Genny.”

She wanted to look away from him, walk away, but she knew he’d follow her until he’d said his piece.

He tossed his hat to the ground when she didn’t respond and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her closer. She turned away before his lips could press against her mouth. It didn’t stop him from kissing her elsewhere. The side of her face and neck were exposed to the touch of his whiskers and soft lips.

She closed her eyes for only a moment to enjoy the last touch she would allow herself to have from the man she loved. And despite their earlier “row,” as Charlotte put it, she did still love him and would for as long as she lived. It wasn’t an emotion easily forgotten or erased once you allowed yourself to embrace it.

She slid her hands up between them and shoved lightly at his chest. He let her go and took a step back.

“I cannot think with you here, Leo. I just want to clear my head of everything that has happened.” She looked to the ground so that the top edge of her bonnet covered her face from view and he couldn’t see her expression. “Please go … you have no reason to be here anymore.”

She let him take her hand. His hold was reverent, coaxing. “I’m sorry. I can say it a thousand times, Genny, and it’ll never be enough.”

“You’re right. It will never be enough.” She put her head back and looked at him, tears filling her eyes. She prayed they would not fall.

He took her head gently between his hands and his thumbs stroked over her temples. She didn’t have the will to push him away again. She was done fighting and arguing. What she would give to trade this in for a bad dream. But this wasn’t something she could wake up from. Leo had done the unthinkable.

“I made a promise not to walk away from you again, and I have every intention of keeping that vow.”

She shook her head; how wrong he was. “You also promised to never endanger my reputation.”

“And I haven’t.”

“You would have. And knowing now that you could have even contemplated such an act changes everything.”

He tilted her head back and kissed the side of her mouth before releasing her.

“I will leave only because you have asked me to. But when you are back in London, this issue between us will be resolved.”

“Maybe once you’re gone, you’ll realize that there is no resolution for the pain you have caused me.
You
have singlehandedly wrecked everything that was perfect between us.” She fisted the lapels of his jacket and emphasized her words with small shakes. “You and you alone are the cause of this. I was just the fool who fell for you…” She gave a defeated sob, but managed to keep her tears from falling. “Again.”

She let him go and stepped out of his reach.

*   *   *

Now was not the right time to persuade her of his good intentions. She needed time even though leaving her was the last thing he wanted to do. More than anything, he wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss the wrongs away.

“I’m sorry, Genny. At least believe that.” He held out the chain and ring she’d discarded the previous night. “These belong to you, princess. At least take what is rightfully yours.”

With one final long look in his direction, she said, “Good-bye, Leo.” The regret in those words was unmistakable to him. Then she gave him her back and walked down the path to join her cousin.

He clamped the ring tightly in his fist. She hadn’t even looked at it.

He would fix the damage he’d done.

His first order of business when he returned to Town would be to see Tristan and make sure the man had found another amusement aside from Lady Charlotte.

And then he’d work up some much-needed courage to confront Jez.

*   *   *

As if the first time she’d asked him to leave wasn’t hard enough, now she had to ask him to leave again? Life was unfair and unmerciful.

“What has happened between you two?” Charlotte asked when she was back by her cousin’s side. Thank goodness most of her tears had dried up shortly after she left Leo.

“He wanted to tell me he was headed back to London.”

Their gait was unhurried as they walked down the stone path flanked with green and red hedges. The birds were chirping loudly around them, as though a storm wasn’t far off.

“Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not.” The warm breeze had sweat beading on her brow, which Genny wiped away with her handkerchief. She quickened her stride, as though she’d be able to outrun the questions her cousin would soon ask.

“You’re treating me like a child!”

“Charlotte, you haven’t been a child for some time.” She stopped and turned to her cousin when they reached the neatly clipped grass lawn. “I daresay I’m not sure you were ever a child. But I’m telling you the truth. He leaves for London later today.”

Not only did Genny find it humiliating that Leo had duped her twice, she was still hurt by his actions and didn’t wish to discuss the details with Charlotte of all people. If she talked about it, she’d cry. And she did not want to return to the house with a tear-streaked face where everyone would be sure to ask what was wrong.

“What was it he tried to give you?”

Had her cousin seen the ring? Or was she just fishing for information so she could solve the puzzle herself?

“A trinket.”

“If you won’t talk about it now, I’ll pester you at the dinner table for more information on your
friendship
with Lord Barrington.”

Genny turned and glared at Charlotte. It felt good to replace her feelings of sadness with a slow simmering of rage. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Are you so sure?” Charlotte cocked her head to the side and gave her a challenging look.

“When I took this position, I thought I would actually make a difference in someone’s life. But you’ve been a trial that I could have done without. I take back what I said earlier, you do nothing but act like a child.”

Genny clapped her hand over her mouth. How could she have said anything so horrible as that? What was wrong with her?

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” She was saying a lot of things on the spur of the moment lately.

“Yes you did.” Hurt colored Charlotte’s voice. “But tell me you wouldn’t act the same way if you were told to marry a man you had no desire to marry.”

“We’ve been over this time and time again. You can make this difficult, or you can accept and embrace the new life you’ll have.”